Random Joke Thread

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superiorsavior
Posts: 4261
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:05 pm

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby superiorsavior » Sat Nov 22, 2008 6:12 pm

Your face.

NOW LAUGH OR DIE CHICKEN-FUCKER!
Superior2you
Check my Fanarts!

Death will take us so don't fight it. Become it and lean to win.
BigCamera4892

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby BigCamera4892 » Sat Nov 22, 2008 7:14 pm

ned15 wrote:
Schliby wrote:A patient walks into his doctors office and the Doctor says
"I have good news... and bad news." the patient responds
"What is the bad news?" and the doctor says
"You have 24 hours to live..." and the patient yells out
"What's the Bad news!?" and the doctor replies
"I forgot to tell you yesterday." :lol:


i've heard that joke before :lol: wait, isn't it supposed to be bad news and worse news?


Groucho Marx from the 1920's once said in the 1960's:

"There's no such thing as an old joke if you've never heard it before"
rongduing
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:08 pm

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby rongduing » Sat Nov 22, 2008 10:53 pm

Three men were hunting out in the woods when it started to rain. They were a long way from camp, so they decided to search for shelter. Eventually, they came upon a farmhouse with three barns. They knocked on the door of the house and the old farmer let them stay the night on one condition, they each had to stay in a different barn to reassure the farmer that they weren't doing anything fruity. One barn was filled with chickens, the next with pigs, the last with the farmer's eighteen beautiful daughters. The night passed and the men emerged from their respective barns and asked eachother how they were feeling. The first one said that he felt like a chicken, the second one said that he felt like a pig, and the one who slept in the barn with the farmer's daughters said that he felt like a golfer. When his friends inquired as to why he felt that way, he smiled and said, "Because I just got done playing eighteen holes"
rongduing
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:08 pm

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby rongduing » Sat Nov 22, 2008 11:17 pm

Questions without answers... yet:
1.People turn blue when they choke themselves, what color do smurfs turn?
2.Do radioactive cats have eighteen half- lives?
3.Who pays for repairs when the Kool-Aid man creates a massive hole in your living room wall?
4.Was Ronald McDonald the chef at neverland ranch?
5.What the hell is the burger king doing climbing into stranger's beds?
BigCamera4892

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby BigCamera4892 » Sun Nov 23, 2008 5:22 am

rongduing wrote:Questions without answers... yet:
1.People turn blue when they choke themselves, what color do smurfs turn?
2.Do radioactive cats have eighteen half- lives?
3.Who pays for repairs when the Kool-Aid man creates a massive hole in your living room wall?
4.Was Ronald McDonald the chef at neverland ranch?
5.What the hell is the burger king doing climbing into stranger's beds?


(1) bluer
(2) yes
(3) Jim Jones (ask me if you don't get it)
(4) Absolutely
(5) Exactly what you think he is doing. That's right, he is.
marvel_freak_42
Posts: 1776
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:55 pm

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:49 pm

A man is caught having sex with one of his cows. When he stands trial, the judge asks "Son, what in God's name were you thinking?"

"Well", the man says "I reckon I must've been thinkin''bout a younger, hotter cow."
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
BRMBug
Posts: 18534
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:43 am

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby BRMBug » Fri Jan 23, 2009 8:50 am

What's stonecoldsoul's favorite band? Uh, well the Psychedelic Furs of course.

Thank you. I'll be here all week.
marvel_freak_42
Posts: 1776
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:55 pm

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Fri Jan 23, 2009 8:45 pm

What do you get when you cross a dog and a nine-foot gorilla?

A gorilla that drinks out of any toilet he pleases.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
Freddy Fittler
Posts: 1628
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2008 9:54 am

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby Freddy Fittler » Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:51 am

A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the
market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'

So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be
interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.'

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the Sex God that he was.

The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex freak?'

The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.

As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the
table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm
hold of the Jamaican's thighs.

The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'
"You like bear mace,icehead?"

"A haiku is just like a normal American poem except it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid."

"Oh no! Not Santa's balls!"

"Dammit, monster, I ain't givin you no treefiddy."
BRMBug
Posts: 18534
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:43 am

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby BRMBug » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:54 am

That reminds me...

This couple are vacationing in Hawaii, and are arguing as to it's pronunciation. "It's Hawaiier" he says. "It's Havaiier" she says. "Hawiier"! "Havaiier"! They go on and on and back and forth and finally the husband stops a little old man and says "Excuse me, is this place called "Hawiier" or "Haviier"?" "Haviier" says the little old man. "Thank you" says the husband. "Ya velcome" says the little old man.


...HAWWWW! :D
butters kenny
Posts: 10135
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:19 pm

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby butters kenny » Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:56 am

BRMBug wrote:That reminds me...

This couple are vacationing in Hawaii, and are arguing as to it's pronunciation. "It's Hawaiier" he says. "It's Havaiier" she says. "Hawiier"! "Havaiier"! They go on and on and back and forth and finally the husband stops a little old man and says "Excuse me, is this place called "Hawiier" or "Haviier"?" "Haviier" says the little old man. "Thank you" says the husband. "Ya velcome" says the little old man.


...HAWWWW! :D



I don't get it..
I Wasn't choking you I was just hugging your neck

R.I.P Chef for realz this time

( chef joined the sith so why don't you?)

R.I.P Billy Bonka
nne
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:05 pm

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby nne » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:51 pm

butters kenny wrote:
BRMBug wrote:That reminds me...

This couple are vacationing in Hawaii, and are arguing as to it's pronunciation. "It's Hawaiier" he says. "It's Havaiier" she says. "Hawiier"! "Havaiier"! They go on and on and back and forth and finally the husband stops a little old man and says "Excuse me, is this place called "Hawiier" or "Haviier"?" "Haviier" says the little old man. "Thank you" says the husband. "Ya velcome" says the little old man.


...HAWWWW! :D



I don't get it..


Old man can't say W so they didn't get the answer.
.Tranquility
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:36 am

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby .Tranquility » Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:12 pm

One man named Russi once drove a bus, but the bus stopped so he had to see whats the problem. For hours he looked around and didn't found a thing, then one retarded 16 years old kid sayd "Uncle Russi i know whats broken" and then the uncle says "Get back in the bus you jackass". After 4 more hours of unsuccessful attempts he asked the boy "Come on tell me if you know, tell me what is broken" and the retard replyed "THE BUS!"
BRMBug
Posts: 18534
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:43 am

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby BRMBug » Thu Jul 30, 2009 11:31 am

Norm's Friday Funnies #3 I could write them out, but they're much better delivered by the fake man himself. :D
Danzilla
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 11:42 pm

Re: Random Joke Thread

Postby Danzilla » Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:19 am

Heres some Yo Momma jokes:

Yo momma so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.
Yo momma so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
Yo momma so fat, she left the house in high heels and came back in flip flops.
Yo momma so fat, people make bad jokes about her.
Yo momma so fat, went she went to a party in a red dress, everyone shouted: ''HEY KOOL-AID MAN!''
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is the equator.
Yo momma so fat, when she stepped on the scales she saw her phone number.
Yo momma so fat, shes got more chins than a chinese phone book.
Yo momma so fat, it was a 3 hour plane ride to get to her good side.
Yo momma so fat, she wakes up in sections.

And one 'yo momma so old' joke.

Yo momma so old, she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten.

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