You: hi
Stranger: brb fapping
You: i win
You: dude srzly?
Stranger: ya
You: and i wasn't invited?
Stranger: srsly
You: bastard
Stranger: well
You: I want in on this fappage
Stranger: its not a fap party
You: it could be
Stranger: its just me and a hand
You: hentai or real?
Stranger: that would be too gay
Stranger: :/
You: i mean, i fap vigorously to both
You: what hand do you use?
Stranger: right
You: I'm just curious, nothing gay.
Stranger: i can use left
Stranger: but it can cause injuries
You: I use both
You: it's a meter in diameter
Stranger: sh*t
You: I once threw out my back fapping
You: that was embarassing
Stranger: mines 2 meters
You: ah sh*t man, I thought a meter was average
You: is a woman's naughty parts that big?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: huge
Stranger: like a tunnel
You: will my meter in diameter be like throwing a pencil down a hallway
Stranger: yes
You: f*ck
You: ruined my day
Stranger: like a sausage down a stairwell
You: like a paper airplane in the motherfucking batcave
Stranger: hahaha
You: clits have to be the size of pumpkins
You: ya dig?
Stranger: i hope so
Stranger: can i cut a halloween face into them?
You: yes
You: so do mommy kangaroos store their babies in their pouches, or is that just their vagina?
Stranger: that's their assh*le
You: I mean, a kangaroo penis would have to curve down
You: and frankly I dunno how that's possible
You: well i guess they are good at jumping up and down.
You: ORLY?
Stranger: and boxing
You: IT'S AN assh*le?
You: DUDE THAT MAKES IT KINKIER.
You: so tell me, do you own a fleshlight?
You: I ordered so many it put em on back order
Stranger: no but i sure want one
You: i have one in every color
You: including the ones you don't know about
You: I have one for every holiday, even helen keller day.
Stranger: HAHA
You: I even had michaelangelo custom paint one for me.
Stranger: ohshit
Stranger: cool
You: Yeah it's like the sistine chapel but the fingers are penises
You: really turns me on
You: reminds me of jodie foster
You: OH SNAP
Stranger: let's get married man
You: dude totally
You: can we share a fleshlight, because i really don't want to share a bed
You: but we have to share something
Stranger: sure
You: kewl
You: should i wear a tuxedo with asless chaps and a mesh shirt?
You: that would be sexy
You: I could even grow a benders moustache.
Stranger: stop it you're turning me on
You: am i getting you all hot and bothered?
You: I'm doing that to myself too...teehee
Stranger: i bet you are.
You: yessir
You: I use rubber gloves
Stranger: waitaminute
Stranger: whut
You: to fap
You: I wear rubber gloves while doing so
Stranger: that's just odd
You: I have a rubber fetish
Stranger: i want a divorce!
You: and because bestiality turns me on, I use the same gloves that are used to impregnate horses
You: the feremones get me all sexed up
Stranger:
You: What?
You: you can't accept who i really am?
You: f*ck ya then
You: my name is inigo montoya...you killed my father...prepare to die...
Stranger: ohshi-
You: i divided by zero
Stranger: WHAT HAVE I STARTED
You: does that mean the universe has exploded?
Stranger: yes.
You: and our marriage is now null and void matrimony?
Stranger: yes.
You: well, you told me you wanted a divorce.
Stranger: i think we should get back together
You: dude...why?
You: there's no universe, remember?
You: the only thing i can f*ck is air
Stranger: spread your seed throughout space!
You: YESSIR
You: i'm bored with this convo...
You have disconnected.
