Part 1:The beginning part
Scene 1:Friday afternoon.
Our story begins in the classroom...
Mr Garrison walks in and dumps a large pile of history textbooks onto his desk and turns to observe his out-of-control class.The girls are nosily gossiping away in the left of the room whilst the boys seem to be arguing who's mum is the hottest,Craig's or Tweak's.
Mr Garrison:Alright kids settle down,settle down.
The kids fall silent and drag themselves back to their seats.
Mr:Garrison:Okay kids,today we're learning about famous explorers. So who can tell me who discovered Victoria Falls?
5 kids raise their hands and Mr.Garrison picks Butters.
Mr.Garrison starts writing some dates on the board and Cartman leans over to Stan.
Cartman: Dude,are you going with your parents to the Parent/teacher meeting tonight?
Stan:Yeah,its gonna suck.All they talk about there is how high school lunches are costing.Kyle,are you going?
Kyle:No,I have to stay home and look after my little brother.
Mr.Garrison turns around and notices the three boys talking.
Mr.Garrison:Boys are you listening?
Mr.Garisson:So then you can tell me why Dr.Livingstone named it Victoria Falls?
Cartman:Because he wanted to name it after some skank he knew?
Mr.Garrison:That was a lucky guess!
The bell rang out and the kids jumped out of their seats and grabbed their backpacks and walked to the door.
Mr.Garrison:Remember the Parent/teacher meeting tonight...
Mr.Garrison let out a sigh,there was no point trying to battle with the noise made by his students.Clyde slammed the class door behind him.Mr Garrison slumped back into his chair and smiled,the weekend at last!Just 2 hours in the meeting tonight,and 1 week of teaching then 3 weeks of Christmas vacation.
Stan,Kyle,Kenny and Cartman casually stroll down the steps at the entrance to the school.
Cartman:Hey,aren't you going to miss the Terrance and Phillip episode tonight?
Stan:Yeah.Tonight's gonna suck balls.
The boys walk home in silence and one by one turn off in the direction of their home.Stan and Kyle are last to break up,Stan stops outside his house.
Stan:See you tomorrow Kyle!
Kyle:You too!Have fun at that meeting tonight.
Stan cracked a fake smile.
Stan walks inside and Kyle walks off.
Scene 2:The meeting
The Marsh family car was in the middle of a long trail of cars near the school parking lot.Randy was cursing loudly and beeping the horn. Sharon held her head in embarrassment.While Stan rested his head on the car window and watched a drop of rain roll gently down the window.After 5 minutes of horn beeping and 152 instances of the words "move you ignorant f*cktard" the Marsh family pulled into a parking space.
The Brovlovski adults approached the Marshes.
Randy:Hey Gerald,Where the kids?
Gerald:We left them at home.
They all walked into the school gymnasium but Stan was stopped by Mr.Garrison who pointed to a classroom with the sign 'Kids' written poorly on it.Stan opened the door and inspected the room.There were some pencils ans some paper and some kids were playing with chalk on the chalkboard.
Stan turned his head in the direction of the call and saw Butters,Jimmy,Craig and surprisingly Wendy Tasterburger who suddenly smiled happily when she saw him.Stan approached them and pulled up a chair in-between Wendy and Craig.
In the hall...
The Brovlovskis and the Marshes squeezed into a row and grabbed seats next to the Tasterburger family. Sean Tasterburger turned to Gerald and smiled.
Sean:Your stuck here too huh?
Gerald:Yeah,there the same every month,a parent complains about the price of lunch them we argue about that until the meeting is over.
Sean:You can say that again.
Mr Mackey walks up to the stand and clears his throat.
Mr:Mackey:Okay parents,welcome to the December parent/teacher meeting m'kay.
Random parent:Why are lunch prices so high?
Back in the kids room...
Stan:How long does the meeting last?
Wendy:It's meant to be 2 hours but they're always late.
Butters:Last year it wet on for 3 1/2 hours.
Stan:It better end soon this year.
Butters:Yeah,I'm missing the Terrance and Phillip episode.
Wendy:What is it with you guys and that god awful show?
Stan:I don't criticize what you like Wendy.
Wendy:You have a point there.
A rubber flies across the room and barely misses Wendy's eye.Stan looks up and sees a 5th grader laughing on his own and walks up to him.
Stan:Hey kid you nearly hit my girlfriend!
5th grader:So what?
Stan kicks him straight in the balls and he crumples to the floor.tan walks back and sits down.
Wendy:You didn't have to do that Stan.
Stan:He nearly hit you Wendy.
Wendy smiles and kisses him on the cheek.
Back in the hall...
Principal Victoria:Thank you for coming parents.
The parents leave to collect their kids.The Marshes run ahead and Stan leaves.The Brovlovskis and the Tasterburgers stick together and collect Wendy.Wendy runs out and stares at the 2 Brovlovskis standing there.Her parents are talking with them until they reach the car.Wendy hops in.
Sean:We should get together sometime Gerald.
Gerald:How about tomorrow?
Sean:Good see you then.
The 2 families hop in their cars and drive off into the night.
Gerald and Sean stumbled out of the bar after a night of moderate drinking.They then come across a travel agent's window.Sean raises his finger and points at an advert that reads:
7 spare seats from Denver international to Paris for 3 nights.
Tuesday 13th December only $99 per person.
Gerald walks over and sees the advert.
Gerald:Wow!Paris for only $99?
Sean:How about we go?
Sean:You bring your wife and your two boys and I'll bring my wife and daughter.
Gerald:Sure,but I better ask my wife first.
Sean:No problem call her.
Back at Kyle's house...
Stan progressed slowly holding a PKP Percheng with a red dot sight and Kyle stood beside him with a MK46 ACOG sight.They progressed up the Parisian street scanning for the Russians. A clank sounded next to them an red smoke filled the air.
Stan:Air support!Get down!
A bombardment of AC130 fire rained down on them.A stray shot hit Kyle directly and Stan ran over to revive his friend.
It was too late.The butt of an AK-47 hit Stan in the back of the head.
Game announcer:Mission failed.
Stan stared at the Special ops mission menu.
Kyle:Well dude we tried.
The phone rang and Shelia ran to get it.
Kyle looked at Stan.
Shelia ignored her curious son.
Shelia:That's wonderful I'll tell them now.
Shelia hung up and walked into the room with Stan and Kyle.
Shelia:Kyle I have news for you.
Shelia:Well your father has just seen an excellent deal that lets 7 people go to Paris for only $99 per person.
Kyle:But there's only 4 of us.
Shelia:Ah yes,you know the Tasterburgers?
Shelia: We've become such good friends that they've invited us to go along and there bringing their daughter who I think is your age.
Kyle stared at his mother widemouthed and Stan did as well. Kyle and Wendy together,alone in Paris. Stan hated to think of his girlfriend cheating on him with his best friend in the most romantic city in the world.
At Wendy's house...
Sean bursts through the door.
Sean:Everyone!We're going to Paris!
(I don't know Mrs Tasterburger's name so I'll refer to her as Mrs.Tasterburger)
Sean:Yeah,this Tuesday it's only $99.
Wendy:Alright,I've always wanted to go there.
Sean:Yeah,we won't be alone either.
Sean:Honey,you remember to nice people we met at the meeting yesterday?
Sean:There going as well and they're bringing their kids.
Wendy fell silent,the Brovlovskis?Kyle's family.She had nothing against him she just didn't feel that happy about going to Paris with him and his family.Besides he was Stan's...Stan,how would she tell him that she was going to Paris with his best friend?
Wendy:Do we have to?
Her parents eyed her.
Sean:Well yes,I've booked it.
End of part 1. Part 2 in a few days.
Kyle hopped off the bus and walked beside Kenny and Cartman.Stan hopped off the bus and walked beside Kyle.They pushed through the double doors towards their class.A large crowd of people were gathered around some of the boys.
Stan:What's going on?
Token:Craig and Tweak are arguing over who's mom is the hottest.
Tweak:My mom is 10x hotter than your's Craig.
Craig:Oh please not even Cartman would date your mom!
All kids except Cartman:Ha ha ha ha.
Cartman:Screw you Craig you wonky toothed bastard.
Craig:Shut up lard ass!
Cartman:Go suck your fat ugly skank of a mom!
Craig:At least my mother isn't a crack whore!
Mr Garrison walks over.
Mr.Garrison:Stop it kids!
The group went quiet and went inside.Stan flung his backpack under his desk and Mr.Garrison started talking about proper use of bullet points.Craig eyed Cartman and Tweak.Cartman started whispering to Tweak.
Cartman:We have to kick that son of a bitches' ass.
Clyde tapped Craig on the shoulder.
Clyde:Dude,we have to teach lard butt and coffee boy a lesson.
Craig:Yeah,How about tomorrow?
Clyde:Yeah,we'll warn them at recess.
Cartman,Stan,Kyle,Kenny,Cartman,Tweak,Butters and Jimmy were standing under the tree when Craig and Clyde approached them.
Craig:Lard butt!Coffee boy!
Craig:I just came to warn you that me and Clyde are going to kick both your asses tomorrow.
Cartman:I'd like to see you try!
Craig:I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your ass that it's going to touch your f*cking soul!
Cartman:How about we make this interesting,how about we fight on Wednesday.That's when the teachers have a faculty meeting and recess is extended.It'll give me more time to watch you bleed.
Craig:Fine you tubby sh*t!
Cartman:You blood belching...
Cartman and Craig shouted insults at each other for a few minutes then Stan felt a tap on his shoulder. He spun round and saw Wendy.
Wendy:Stan,can I talk to you?
Wendy grabbed Stan's hand and led him off.
Stan:Wendy,I know about Paris.I was there with Kyle when he found out.
Wendy:Are you mad?
Stan:No,jealous yes,but not mad.I trust you guys.
Stan had been wondering if he trusted Kyle and Wendy.They were his closest friends,they wouldn't do anything to hurt him,he hoped.
Wendy:Good,I just wanted to make sure.
Stan:I got to go,Craig and Cartman are arguing and its hilarious.
Stan hugged Wendy and ran back to his friends.Wendy was relived that Stan took it pretty well.
Scene 2:Paris is Gay.
School had finished a while ago and Kyle was packing his suitcase for tomorrow.Ike was sitting next to Kyle.
Kyle:I can't believe I have to go to Paris with my stupid parents and their stupid friends.
Kyle:Craig and Cartman are going to fight and I'm going to miss it.
Ike:I did a doody!
Kyle slammed his suitcase closed and ran downstairs.
Kyle:Mom I'm going out!
Sheila:Be back for dinner!
Kyle closed the door and walked to Stan's house.He kicked a rock down the street. He didn't want to go to Paris.Paris was gay.He turned a corner by Stan's house and saw Cartman and Tweak kicking some manikins in Stan's front yard.Kyle walked over to Stan and Kenny.
Kyle:Hey dudes.What are they doing?
Stan:Training for the fight.
Tweak and Cartman walked over.
Cartman:Where have you been?
Kyle: I've been packing for tomorrow.
Cartman:Why?Where are you going,Jew fest?
Kyle:No fat ass!I'm going to Paris.
Cartman:Paris?In pussy little France?
Kyle:Of course retard.
Stan:Calm done Kyle your really pissed off.
Kyle:But Paris is gay,you'd be the same if you were going.
Stan:Well not really...
Kyle:Yeah,only because Wendy is going!
Cartman: Awww.Are you going to Paris with your little girlfriend?
Kyle and Stan:Shut up fat ass!
A car pulls up to the boys and Gerald steps out.
Gerald:Come on Kyle we have to go!
Gerald:We have to get stuff for the holiday.
Gerald:No buts Kyle.
Kyle jumped in the car and drove off.
Cartman walked up to Stan.
Cartman:Say goodbye to your friendships with Kyle and Wendy dude.
Cartman:There going to Paris Stan.
Cartman:So.Paris is the City of love, every time a chick goes there they make out with some guy.
Stan:Yeah right Cartman,like you know anything
Cartman:Open your eyes dude!They're on their own in Paris in a luxury hotel,going to beautiful bridges and rivers and expensive restaurants and with a rat like Kyle something's bound to happen.
Stan:No!I won't believe you!
Stan storms off and Cartman sighs.
Cartman:I warned him but he isn't going to listen.
Tweak:You really think they're gonna hook up?
Cartman:There is no doubt in my mind that they will.
Stan had overslept.He stumbled his way to school on his own.All he could think about was what Cartman had told him the night before.Kyle and Wendy were going after school and he was really nervous about them going.
Stan looked up and saw Kyle,Kenny and Cartman standing there waving at him.He ran over.
Kyle:Dude,where have you been?
Stan:I didn't fall asleep until late at night so I overslept.
Cartman was looking at Stan,Stan could tell Cartman didn't trust Kyle at all.
Kenny:Hey look over there.
Craig was getting a row from Mr Mackey and Cartman ran over to watch.Kenny ran over but as Stan was about to follow Kyle grabbed his arm.
Kyle:I need to talk to you.
Kyle:Look,Kenny told me what Cartman said yesterday after I left.You know I would never betray you like that.Right?
Stan:I know dude,I trust you.
The bell rang and the boys ran inside.
The Brovlovski's and the Tasterburger's pulled up outside the school.Wendy,Kyle,Stan,Kenny and were waiting.Kyle and Wendy stood up.Kyle turned back and hugged Kenny and Stan and made his way to the car.Wendy hugged Stan.
Stan:Have fun, ok.
Wendy ran over into her car and they drove off down the road.
Scene 4:The airport
The 2 families walked through the double automatic doors into the airport.They dragged their luggage to the desk and put it on the conveyor belt into the plane.They waited in the departure lounge for their plane.Ike was hopping round and Kyle grabbed him.
Kyle:Stop it Ike!
Wendy:Your brothers cute.
Kyle:He's a pain in the ass.
Gerald:Kyle!Watch your language!
Airport announcer:Flight 361 to Paris is boarding now.
The group grabbed their things and ran to the terminal and flashed their boarding passes.They hopped on the plane and Kyle grabbed a window seat and Wendy sat next to him.Ike sat on Kyle's lap.
Kyle:How long is the flight to Paris?
Wendy:About 8 hours.
Kyle:Look,the movie list.
Kyle grabbed a list of the movies to be shown on the plane.
Kyle: Uhhh...Contact and Lord of the Rings.
Wendy: Damm,they suck.
The plane roared down the runway and pulled up to the sky.They were going to Paris.
BEST CHARACTERS IN SOUTH PARK
The american airlines flight to Paris touched down on the tarmac at Charles De Gaulle airport.In the plane the Brovlovskis and the Tasterburgers grabbed their hand luggage and ran for the plane exit before the crowds.They squeezed through and after 2 hours off security checks and queuing they emerged from the front doors.
Sean:Which way to the hotel?
Gerald pulls out a map.
Gerald:I can't tell, its in French.
Kyle:No dad,your holding it upside down.
Gerald turns the map round.
Gerald:There it is.
Gerald hops on a bus with the group and drive into town.
Wendy:Hey look,we're on the Chans De Lise.
The bus pulls up outside a tall hotel.The two families grab their bags and walk through into the lobby.
Sheila:Well this is nice.
Mrs.Tasterburger:Yeah for $99 this is amazing.
Gerald:Heck,I would expect to spend $499 on a hotel like this.
The Brovlovskis and the Tasterburgers broke away from each other and went to their rooms.Kyle was sharing a room with Ike.Gerald poked his head round the door.
Gerald: Kyle,help Ike unpack his things.
Kyle:But can't you do it?
Kyle helps Ike unpack his things and finishes unpacking his own as his dad pokes his head round the door.
Gerald:Kyle,go with Ike and explore the hotel.
Gerald:Because your mother and I have...uh... business.
Gerald:No buts Kyle!
Gerald rushes Kyle and Ike out the door and Kyle sits down outside the door.
Gerald:That takes care of them.
Gerald and Shelia slam their door closed and well...you can guess what happens now.
Kyle is sitting outside and hears a door open and Wendy is pushed out by her father.Sean then leads his wife to the bedroom leaving Kyle and Wendy alone.
Kyle:Chucked you out to huh?
Kyle:My dad said we should explore the hotel,wanna come with?
Wendy is cut off by an orgasmic groan from Kyle's room.
Kyle:Should we go away?
Kyle and Wendy walked quickly down the stairs and into a beautiful marble-floored lobby.
Wendy:Wow,this is awesome!
Wendy:Could I hold Ike?
Kyle passes Ike to Wendy and Ike smiles.
Kyle:I think he likes you.
Kyle's phone vibrates and Kyle looks at it.
Kyle:Hey,I got a message from Stan.
Kyle opens the text message,it reads:
Hey dude,how r u? R u and Wendy in Paris yet?Txt me bak wen u can.
Kyle clicked on reply and types:
we r in Paris.We r fine.We r in da lobby because our parents are having sex upstairs (eeeeewwwww) c u in a few days.
From Kyle and Wendy.
Kyle puts his phone back in his pocket and proceeded down into the lobby.
Scene 2 :Craig's a pussy!
The 4th grade class sat eagerly in their seats staring at the clock.Mr. Garrison was babbling on about adding fractions together but no one was listening.The clock neared 10:30.
The bell rang out.
Mr Garrison:Ok kids recess is extended today so run along outside ok.
The crowd of kids ran outside and made a circle around Cartman and Tweek.Clyde ran in waving his arms.
Cartman:What is it dick face?You giving up because you scared.
Clyde:No,Craig can't fight.
Craig:He flipped off Mr.Mackey and now he's got 2 days of detention.
The crowd gasped.
Cartman:I told you! Craig's a pussy!
Clyde:But he wanted me to give you this note.
Dear fat ass.
I got detention but I'll kick your ass on Friday!
Be there you fat f*ck.
Yours hatefully Craig Tucker
Tweek:I knew that fag would get out of fighting,gah!
Cartman:But we'll kick his ass on Friday Tweek.
Cartman,Tweek,Stan and Kenny go up to Craig's house and knock on the door.Craig opens the door and eyes the four boys.
Craig:What do you fags want?
Cartman:Craig look...we need to tell you that your a great big PUSSY!
Craig:I had detention.
Cartman:Yeah,you got detention to get out of fighting.
Craig:No,not everyone does that only you do you tubby f*ck.
Cartman:Oh please,when have I ever gotten detention to get out of a fight?
Craig:When you crapped on the teachers desk to get out of fighting Wendy,who really kicked the sh*t into you.
Cartman:Yeah,but Wendy uh...she's a whore.
Stan punches Cartman in the face.
Cartman and Tweek walk off.
Stan:Do us all a favor and break his f*cking legs.
Craig:I'll break his f*cking neck too!
Stan:Both of Them?
Craig:No,just Cartman.I'm gonna convince Tweek to help me.
Stan and Kenny catch up to Cartman and Tweek.
Cartman:God I hate Craig!
Cartman walks off in the other direction.
Kenny:Tweek,do you really want to fight Craig?
Tweek:I don't know.Cartman said...
Kenny:I don't care what Cartman said.Do YOU want to fight him?
Tweek:Well he did make fun of my mom.
Stan:All guys argue,If you help Craig then he said he'll apologize for calling your mom ugly.Then you can both give Cartman what he deserves.
Tweek:Ok,I'll go talk to him.
Tweek runs back up to Craig's house and knocks on the door.Craig opens it.
Tweek:Uh Craig.The guys just said...
Craig:Tweek,I'm sorry for ripping on your mom.If we team up we can kick that fat ass' head in.
Tweek:I'm with you.
Craig and Tweek shake hands and Tweek walks off.
Scene 3:The Pool.
The morning sun crept above the horizon and shone brightly into Kyle's face. He covered his eyes and sat up.
Sheila:Kyle,Ike.Get up,It's time for breakfast.
Kyle slid out of bed and got dressed.He walked to the kitchen.His mom was getting ready,while his dad was listening to French radio.
Radio:Ok listeners,we have a huge traffic jam today running through the city and traffic officials are saying it could take hours to get from the center of the city to the outskirts.Residents are advised to stay at home and not increase the hordes of traffic outside.
Gerald:Damm,our whole day ruined!
Shelia:Relax Gerald, there's plenty to do at the hotel.
Kyle picked up Ike and the family went downstairs to the hotel cafeteria for breakfast. When they got downstairs Sean Tasterburger waved to them.The family pulled up a seat.
Sean:You sleep well?
Gerald:Yes,this hotel is amazing.
Sean:I'm glad we came here,this is going to be a great few days.
The families ate their breakfast and began debating what to do.
Sheila:It's lovely weather outside,how about the hotel pool?
Mrs.Tasterburger:That's a good idea.
The families went back to their rooms to get ready.Kyle was first to be ready and he went down to the pool with Ike.
Kyle:Ok Ike.Are you ready for your first time in the pool?
Kyle sighed and picked up Ike.He slid into the shallow end of the pool.Ike screamed.
Kyle:Ike you have to learn to swim!
Wendy walks out of the hotel in a bikini.
Wendy:Hey.What are you doing?
Kyle turned round and stared at Wendy,he felt weird.Something was wrong and he knew it.No.He can't be.Was he really beginning to get attracted to Wendy?No,he couldn't be.He shook his head to clear the thoughts from his mind.
Kyle:I'm trying to teach Ike to swim.
The kids played in the pool all day while the adults relaxed.In the early afternoon Mrs.Tasterburger started talking to Sheila.
Mrs.Tasterburger:This is such a nice place.
Sheila:Yes it is lovely.
Ike splashed around in the pool and knocked Kyle over,Wendy laughed.
Sheila:Our kids are getting on pretty well.
Mrs.Tasterburger:Yes,Wendy's really taken a liking to your sons.
Sheila:Well Wendy is such a nice girl,very pretty.
Mrs. Tasterburger:Do you think your son Kyle is attracted to my daughter?
Sheila:I don't know,I wouldn't be able to tell.But Kyle is getting older and I think he will start liking girls for their looks more and more.
Mrs.Tasterburger:We'll just have to wait and see.
Kyle went to sleep early,he told his parents that he felt ill and went to bed.He couldn't sleep.He kept thinking of Wendy.How could he fall for her?What made him like her like that?How would he live knowing he was in love with his best friends girlfriend?Kyle lay restless in his bed and turned to the desk next to his bed.His phone was on the desk.It would be morning in South Park,he had to tell Stan how he felt,but then Stan might hate him forever.Cartman was not an option either.Kenny?Kenny would be the only person he could talk to about this.Kyle grabbed his phone and dialed Kenny's cell phone.
In South Park...
Kenny opened the door to his bedroom,he was on his own.Kenny picked up his playboy and started reading.Then his phone rang, he picked it up.
Kyle:Hey Kenny,it's Kyle.
Kyle:Is Stan or Cartman there?
Kenny thought this was suspicious.Why would Kyle not want Stan around?
Kyle:Look Kenny you can't tell anyone about this, especially Stan.
Kenny thought hard about what Kyle said,then it clicked.He knew exactly what happened.
Kenny:You love Wendy,don't you?
Kyle stared at his phone,Kenny had read his mind.
Kyle:How did you?
Kenny:When you said no Stan I knew it involved him and the only thing associated with Stan that's within 1000 miles of you is Wendy.
Kyle:You can't tell Stan anything.I mean it.
Kenny:Don't worry your secret is safe with me.
Kyle:Thanks,I just don't know what to do.If I keep it quiet i'll tear myself apart but if I try to kiss her then Stan will find out.
Kenny:You can't hide it forever.I think you should kiss her and get it over with.
Kyle:What if she tells Stan?
Kenny:You'll just have to make the kiss look like an accident,like pretend you fell on her or something.
Kyle:I'm not doing that.
Kenny;Fine,you tell Stan your in-love with Wendy and see how life is after he breaks your legs because you kissed her.
Kyle:What if I just talk to her.
Kenny:That could work too.
Kyle:I gotta go,but thanks Kenny your a great friend.
Kyle hangs up and closes his eyes so he can drift off to sleep.
End of part 3.
P.S Merry Christmas.
Scene 1:You traitor!
Cartman walked down the hall towards his classroom.The hectic rush of the school morning pissed him off,why do so many people gather in the same place everyday?He pushed through the crowds and emerged outside the door to the class.Everyone else was already there.Stan noticed him and whispered to Kenny and Tweek.Then they turned and walked toward him.
Stan looked at Tweek and nudged him.
Tweek:I'm not fighting with you.
Craig,Clyde and the rest of the guys moved behind Tweek.
Tweek: I've realized that the best thing to do is fight you.
Tweek: You've always been a dick to everyone,it's time for someone to teach your fat ass a lesson!
Craig:No,he is standing up for everyone!
Cartman:You turned him against me!
Craig:You have done that yourself.
(Yes,I just managed to sneak in a reference to Star Wars episode III:Revenge of the sith,Cartman is Anakin and Craig is Obi-Wan :p)
Cartman:I can still beat you both.
Craig:We'll see on Friday!
Cartman:How about we find out now!
Cartman dives at Craig and lands a punch in his stomach.
Kids run towards Cartman and Craig and soon nearly every kid in the school is watching.
Craig knees Cartman in the balls and pushes him over.Tweek runs up and kicks him in the leg.Cartman falls over,Cartman gazes up at Tweek.Tweek raises his foot over Cartman's face and forces down. Mr.Mackey runs over and stops Tweek before he hits Cartman.
Mr.Mackey:What's going on here M'kay?
The kids walk away leaving Cartman,Craig,Tweek and the other 4th grade boys crowded around Mr.Mackey.
Mr.Mackey:I think you boys need to go see the principal,M'kay.
Mr.Mackey leads the boys to the principal's office.
Principal Victoria:What's the problem here?
Mr.Mackey: These boys were fighting in the hall,M'kay.
Back in the hall...
Mr.Garrison opens the door to the classroom.The kids enter and go to their seats,Mr.Garrison notices that Cartman,Craig and Tweek weren't there.
Mr.Garrison:Where are Craig,Tweek and Eric?
Stan:They were fighting in the hall so Mr.Mackey took them to the principal.
Mr.Garrison;Were hey fighting over which of them is the biggest fag? Ha Ha Ha...
Mr.Garrison laughs as the kids stare at him blankly.
Mr.Garrison:Ha Ha ha... Anyway lets get on with the lesson,today we are going to learn about WW2. Now...
Mr.Garrison blabbered on about Hitler for a bit the Craig,Cartman and Tweek.They take their seats.
Mr.Garrison starts explaining about the death camps.
Mr.Garrison:Hitler had all Jews in Europe sent to death camps. Does anyone know why he did this?
Cartman:Because Jews are filthy lying rats.
Mr.Garrison:ERIC!Do you know how offensive that is?
Cartman:It's true!They are rats who steal everything.
Mr.Garrison: Your friend Kyle is Jewish,does he steal things?
Cartman:Yeah.He's in Paris right now stealing Wendy away from Stan.
Stan:Dude!Don't start this again!
Cartman:You can't admit it.
Stan:It's not true. Kyle wouldn't do that.
Stan turns to Kenny.
Stan: Could you back me up?
Kenny remembered what Kyle had said on the phone last night. Kyle had done what Cartman had predicted. He was going to try to take Wendy away from Stan. He thought of telling Stan but he had promised Kyle that he wouldn't.
Kenny hated lying to his friends but couldn't break a promise to them either.
Stan:See, everyone knows Kyle is good.
Cartman:Fine,but lets see what you think when they come back.
Scene 2:Paris is Beautiful.
Kyle shielded his eyes from the Parisian sun and hopped out of his bed. The conversation with Kenny was still fresh in his mind. There had to be a good way out of this that wouldn't end in Stan killing him. He got dressed and went with his parents and Ike down to the hotel cafeteria. They went down the stairs and reached the bottom floor the same time as the Tasterburgers walked out of the lift.
Gerald: Hey Sean.
They went to a table and sat down. Kyle sat next to Ike and Wendy sat next to him.
Kyle stared at her blankly for a few seconds.
Kyle shook his head.
Kyle: Oh, hi. Sorry, I zoned out for a second.
Kyle ate his breakfast silently while the adults decided where they would go today. Eventually it was decided they would go sightseeing around the city.
A hour later...
The group walked out of the hotel and up the street. The parents were ahead of Wendy,Kyle and Ike and were talking. Wendy was holding Ike, who was fast asleep. Kyle looked slightly uneasy. Wendy looked over at him and noticed.
Wendy: You alright?
Kyle: Yeah, I'm fine.
Wendy: You look uncomfortable.
Kyle: Must be that I'm in a new place.
Ike suddenly wakes up.
Ike: Cookie monster!
Kyle jumps and Wendy laughs.
Kyle: You scared the crap out of me Ike!
Wendy: Your a wuss, he's a baby.
Wendy continues to giggle.
Kyle: I'm not!
Wendy stops laughing and smiles at Kyle.
Wendy: You have to take a joke sometimes Kyle. Don't you ever laugh at jokes?
Kyle: I do, but most jokes are jokes about me.
Kyle: Cartman makes fun of me every chance that he has.
Wendy: Just beat him up, that's what I did.
Kyle: Yeah, you kicked his ass.
Wendy: If I can do it, you can do it.
They continue down the street and talk. The rest of the morning is shown in a montage of shops and buildings. At sunset the two families are sitting at a cafe near the Eiffel Tower.
Mrs. Tasterburger: Well I'm shattered.
Shelia: Yes, Paris is beautiful though.
The adults continued to talk whilst Ike was playing with Wendy's hair.
Wendy: Your brother is so cute.
Kyle: Maybe to you, not to me.
Wendy: Do you even have a heart?
Kyle: Yeah, guys just don't go around saying "He's cute" or "how adorable!"
Wendy: Come on, doesn't he make you laugh? Like try your hat on or something.
Kyle: No, I never take my hat off and if I did I wouldn't give it to him.
Wendy: Why don't you take your hat off?
Kyle: Because I don't like people seeing my hair, they always laugh.
Wendy: I bet you I won't.
Wendy: If you show me your hair I promise I won't laugh.
Kyle: Ok, you have to promise.
Wendy: I promise.
Kyle slowly takes his hat off revealing his ginger 'Jew-fro'. (I like that word). Wendy stares and giggles quietly.
Kyle: Hey, you said you wouldn't laugh!
Wendy: sorry, It just...wow.
Kyle puts his hat back on as quickly as possible.
Kyle: Told you.
Wendy: No Kyle, I like it. It's pretty cool.
Kyle: Yeah right...
Scene 3: The fight.
The class rushed outside, every pupil in the school had come to watch the fight. Cartman entered the large circle made by the pupils. Craig and Tweek entered from the other side.
Craig: Ready to die tubby?
Cartman: Bring it mother f*cker.
Tweek: Gaah, you're gonna die fat ass.
They stare at each other angrily for a few seconds.
Craig dives at Cartman and kicks him in the leg. Cartman falls down but turns round and tackles Craig to the floor. Tweek runs up behind a pulls Cartman off.
Craig: Get up!
Cartman gets up and lands 3 punches on Tweek. Tweek falls over and Cartman kicks him.
Cartman: Too easy.
Tweek: I'm not down yet, oh Jesus!
Tweek kicks Cartman's leg and Cartman falls. Craig kicks Cartman onto his side and starts to kick him. Cartman grabs Craig's leg and pushes it away, sending Craig to the ground. Craig gets up and so does Cartman.
Cartman: Gonna have to do better than that!
Cartman dives at Craig and punches him repeatedly. Craig pushes him off and Tweek starts to punch Cartman and Craig joins in. Mr.Mackey then runs over and pulls them apart.
Mr.Mackey: I told you boys not to fight, M'kay.
Craig: We win assh*le.
Cartman doesn't respond.
Tweek: We won, gah!
Cartman still doesn't respond.
Cartman lies motionless.
Clyde: Uh oh...
Scene 4: The Balcony
The Tasterburgers and the Brovlovskis are sitting in the Brovlovskis room. They are playing Trivial pursuit. The Brovlovskis v The Tasterburgers.
Sean: Ok, here's your question Brovlovskis. What body of water separates Alaska from western Russia?
The Brovlovski adults look clueless.
Kyle: The Bering Strait.
Sean: Correct, well done Kyle.
Gerald: How did you know?
Kyle: It's on Call Of Duty 4.
Kyle's phone rings. He looks at it sees that Kenny is phoning him.
Kyle: I gotta take this.
Kyle walks out to the balcony and answers.
Kenny: Hey. You missed it.
Kyle: Missed what?
Kenny: Craig and Tweek fighting Cartman.
Kyle: Who won?
Kenny: Craig and Tweek.
Kyle: Ha, what happened to Cartman?
Kenny: Uh...He's in the hospital.
Kyle: Wow, dude.
Kenny: The doctors say hes gonna be alright. Craig and Tweek really f*cked him up.
Kyle: Jeez, tell Cartman he deserved it.
Kenny: So, you told her?
Kenny: Have you told Wendy you like her?
Kyle: No, I...
Kenny: Are you going to?
Kyle: I don't know, what if she tells Stan.
Kenny: Look Kyle, it may just be some sexual tension. Maybe you should just Kiss her, she'll understand.
Kyle; How do you know?
Kenny: She was in the same position with Cartman, remember?
Kyle: Oh yeah.
Kenny: Well I gotta go.
Kyle: Ok, thanks Ken.
Kenny: No problem.
Kyle hangs up and Wendy walks out to the balcony.
Wendy: Who was that?
Wendy stands on the edge of the balcony.
Wendy: What did he say?
Kyle: Craig and Tweek beat up Cartman.
Kyle: It gets better, Cartman was so hurt that he went to hospital.
Wendy: Ouch... but HA!
Kyle: I know.
Kyle stood next to Wendy and looked out over Paris.
Wendy: Kyle, I had a great time with you here. You fun to hang around with.
Wendy: Yeah. I hope we can still be good friends. Plus since me and Stan are dating, I should try to be friends with his friends too.
Kyle: Yeah, you're fun to hang with too.
They stare at the full moon.
Wendy: I still wish Stan was here, it'd be so romantic. I'd rub it in Bebe's face, she always wanted to go to Paris.
Kyle: They always say it's the most romantic city in the world.
Kyle begins to get nervous.He had to do something, he began to sweat.
Wendy: You alright Kyle?
Kyle had to think of a way. He had it, it was the only way. Explain his situation, that could work.
Wendy continued to smile.
Kyle: You remember that flag thing about the racism and Chef was angry.
Wendy was confused and wasn't grasping it.
Kyle: You remember that you worked with Cartman?
Wendy: Yeah.. oh.
Kyle: You felt tension so you kissed.
Wendy: I can see where this is going.
Kyle: Well I think I may be in the same position as you were.So I...
Wendy: You want to kiss me, don't you?
Wendy: You know I'm with Stan.
Kyle: I know! But I think it's the only way.
Wendy: If it has to be done then it has to be done.
Wendy: Ok,but there are a few rules.
Wendy: One: No tongues, Two: No more than 10 seconds and Three: We tell Stan that we kissed the moment we get back.
Kyle: He'll kill us!
Wendy: Not if we explain ourselves, if e admit it then he knows we're sorry and we won't do anything like that again.
Wendy: Alright. So you want to start?
Kyle: Uh, sure.
They awkwardly stepped closer together. Kyle put his hand gently on Wendy's shoulder. He closed his eyes and leaned in. Wendy did the same. After a few seconds their lips touched, Kyle's heart started beating faster as he tried to deepen the kiss. Wendy refused to oblige and after 10 seconds Wendy gently pulled away.
Kyle was speechless.
Sean walked out to them.
Sean: Come on Kids, the next round is starting.
Wendy: Ok dad!
Wendy turned to walk away but Kyle put his hand on her shoulder and stopped her.
Kyle: Thanks, Wendy.
Wendy: No problem, but after we tell Stan we never speak of this again, Clear?
Kyle puled her in for a quick friendly hug and the two went inside to finish the game.
So Cartman was right. Next part will be the last and will be up soon.
Scene 1: Leaving Paris
Wendy woke up and looked out the window of her room. She opened the window and breathed in the fresh morning air. After a quick look outside the balcony of the Brovlovski room caught her eye. The memories of the night before quickly started top occupy her mind. Wendy shook the memories out of her head. She got dressed and went with her family down for breakfast. They sat at a table and waited for the Brovlovskis. After a few minutes the other family walked out of the elevator and towards the table.
Gerald: Morning all.
Sean: Morning Gerald.
Gerald: Hey Sean...
Again the Parents started having a conversation. Kyle awkwardly sat next to Wendy.
Kyle: Uh... hi.
Wendy: Did it work?
Kyle: What work?
Wendy: The kiss. Is the tension gone?
Kyle: Yeah, it's gone.
Wendy: Thank God.
The families ate their breakfast and returned to their rooms. They packed up and met downstairs to catch the bus to the airport. The bus arrived and Kyle and Wendy sat together with Ike in the middle.
Wendy: I'm gonna miss Paris.
Kyle: I'm not.
Wendy playfully hits his arm and laughs.
Wendy: Kyle. I know you'll miss it.
Kyle: Whatever. I just can't wait to get back home.
Ike: Cookie monster!
Wendy: I'm gonna miss Ike as well.
Kyle: Whats wrong with you? Your'e gonna miss Ike?
Wendy: Why do you hate him so much?
Kyle: Believe me, he gets annoying.
At the back off the bus...
Sheila: Our kids have really connected.
Mrs.Tasterburger: I know, they've spent alot of time together on the trip.
Sheil: I can't help but think that Kyle may have a little crush on Wendy.
Mrs.Tasterburger: That's so sweet.
Gerald and Sean overhead the women and cut in.
Gerald: What was that?
Sheila: Oh, I just thought that Kyle may be developing a little crush on Wendy.
Sean: That's nice.
Sheila: Yes, I know. But Kyle doesn't know anything about girls. He's too young.
Gerald: Well maybe now is the time. I'll go talk to him.
Gerald went to the front of the bus to Kyle, Wendy and Ike.
Gerald: Kyle, we want to talk to you.
Gerald: Come with me.
Kyle: God dammit.
Kyle follows his father to the back of the bus. The parents look at him.
Sheila: Kyle. Do you have a crush on Wendy?
Gerald: Kyle it's ok. We just want to talk to you about it.
Kyle: I do not have a crush on her!
Sheila: Are you sure?
Kyle: Yes mom!
Sheila: Fine, whatever you say Kyle.
Kyle: Can I go now?
Kyle walks back to his seat mumbling quietly to himself. He sits next to Wendy.
Wendy: What happened?
Kyle: My parents think I have a crush on you.
Kyle: I know.
Wendy: Why would they think that?
Kyle: Because we've spent loads of time together on this trip and they think we're dating.
Wendy: Why would even go out with you? That'd be a stupid idea.
Kyle: Well what's wrong with me?
Wendy: I didn't mean it like that.
Kyle: Then how did you mean it?
Wendy: I just... you're not my type so...
Kyle: So you think I'm unattractive.
Wendy: Kyle look, your cute but I wouldn't go out with you. That's my opinion. One day a girl will go out with you and like you as much as I like Stan.
Wendy: No problem. I just can't wait to go home.
Kyle: You said it dude.
They reached the airport and within a few hours their plane roared into the sky back towards Colorado.
Scene 2 : Coming home.
Stan quickly rose out of bed and put on his clothes. Kyle and Wendy came home last night and He and Kenny agreed to meet Kyle in the morning. He ran out of his house and knocked for Kenny. Kenny opened the door.
Stan: You ready dude?
Kenny: Lets go.
Kenny and Stan headed towards Kyle's house. Kenny couldn't stop thinking about his conversations with Kyle about Wendy. He hoped that Kyle had done the right thing. Stan knocked on Kyle's door and Kyle opened and hugged his two closest friends.
Kyle: Hi dudes.
Stan: Hey. Good to have you back.
Kyle let go of his two friends and followed them outside.
Stan: So what we gonna do?
Kyle: My parents have something that I have to go give back to Wendy's family. If we go there now then we can hang out for the rest of the day.
Stan: Sure dude. I was gonna see later anyway.
They walked to Wendy's house. About halfway there Stan noticed his shoelace was undone.
Stan: Hang on I'll catch up.
Kyle and Kenny went on and Kenny leaned over to Kyle.
Kenny: So what did you do?
Kenny: About Wendy.
Kyle: Oh, I'll tell you soon.
Kenny: Why soon?
Kyle: Because Wendy said we have to tell Stan too.
Kenny: So you did do something.
Kyle: You'll find out in a minute.
Stan caught up with them and they knocked on Wendy's door. Kenny was staring at Kyle as Wendy opened the door.
Wendy: Hey guys.
Stan: Hi Wendy.
Wendy pulled Stan into a gentle hug. The hug lasted a few seconds then Wendy released Stan but still held his hand firmly.
Wendy's eyes quickly moved to look at Kyle. Kyle knew this was his queue to tell Stan.
Kyle: Stan, we have something to tell you.
Stan: Sure dude.
Stan smiled happily at them both and didn't suspect a thing.
Kyle: Do you remember the time where Wendy kissed Cartman?
Stan was confused why Kyle had brought it up.
Wendy: I kissed him because I felt tension. The kiss didn't mean anything.
Stan: Wendy you've told me this a million times. I forgive you.
Kyle: That's not the point Stan. In Paris we spent a lot of time together, and I started to feel tension.
Stan's face dropped and he stared worryingly at his friend.
Kyle: On the last night in Paris me and Wendy were on the balcony and...we kissed each other.
Stan was still silent. Wendy tightened her grip on Stan's hand.
Wendy: Stan it was just for Kyle to remove tension. I didn't feel any tension and the kiss didn't mean anything. We're just friends.
Stan: You..You betray me. You promised me Kyle!
Kyle: Stan I...
Stan let go of Wendy's hand and started walking away.
Wendy: Stan wait!
Stan: NO! I'm not talking to any of you again!
Stan turned around.
Kenny: Stan Wait!
Stan stopped and realized that Kenny had taken their side.
Kenny: It wasn't Kyle's idea to kiss her.
Wendy looked at Kenny. She didn't know about Kenny and Kyle's phone calls to each other.
Kenny: A few days ago Kyle phoned me saying he was starting to feel tension. He didn't want to kiss her so he asked me for a way to stop him feeling this way. I told him about sexual tension and told him the only way to relive it was to act on impulse. Wendy had no idea what was going on until Kyle actually kissed her.
Kyle: I asked Wendy to see if she was ok with it first. She said she'd only kiss me if it was quick, no tongues and if we told you right away.
Stan: Wendy is that true?
Wendy: Yes Stan! I wouldn't be able to hide that from you. Stan me and Kyle are just friends and we'll never me be more than that. Stan please, do you forgive us?
Stan: I guess...
Wendy ran over to Stan and puled him into a passionate kiss. Kyle and Kenny simultaneously coughed to get the couple's attention and stop them kissing.
Kyle: Do you mind? You can do that in your own time.
Stan: Whatever dude. Do you all want to go see Cartman?
Wendy: Yep. Mock him to his face.
They 4 kids walked down the street laughing on their way to see Cartman...
I loved writing that and I'm sad to end the story .
I may write another Stendy fic after finishing my Call of Duty:Modern Warfare: South Park rip-offs.
For now it's
Adios, Au revoir,Farvel,adjö,pożegnanie and Goodbye from me
BEST CHARACTERS IN SOUTH PARK
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