Put your fan fiction here, and keep it nice.

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Postby Blablausername » Sun May 27, 2012 7:29 pm

So this is just something I thought of the other day when looking back on the series. It's left open-ended due to the infinite possibilities South Park presents and due to my inadequacy in duplicating South Park's unique style.

Scene starts on Kyle, spinning, disoriented with a blindfold on his head and his hair uncovered by his signature hat, frazzled beyond it's normal poofiness. Indistinct yelling is heard in the background as Kyle stumbles around. He makes several noises of protest as his dizziness nearly topples him over. With a sudden expression of success, he uncovers the blindfold to a room full of cheering people. The scene shift over to the wall where he has succeeded in pinning the tail on the donkey.

<Mrs. Broflovski> Very good, Kyle! Oh, my bubbula is growing up so fast!

(she surpresses a tear and moves to bring Kyle close in a hug. Kyle backs off and extends his arms in protest)

<Kyle> Mom! All my friends are here!

(giggling in the background)

<Mrs. Broflovski> Of course, bubbula. Already 10 years old! It feels like just yesterday we were putting you in your first pair of underwear just like little Ikie.

(more giggling. Ike makes a pained face in the background, moving off in embarrassment. Kyle grumbles and moves away from the party to get a drink. Cartman approaches him with his investigator face plastered all over)

<Kyle> (sarcastically) What do you want, Cartman? You're lucky my mom still invited you to the party after you brought up your crazy conspiracy theory about me being behind 9/11 again.

<Cartman> Hey!!! (he points his finger at Kyle accusingly) I have photo evidence that you were there! It is my duty as an AMERICAN to consider you the main suspect. Your birthday doesn't change that! (turns away as if to go back to the party) Speaking of which (he turns back to Kyle) how old are you really, Kyle?

<Kyle> Gahhh! What the hell do you mean, Cartman? This is my birthday party. It's on the cake. It's on the invitations. I'm TEN years old.

<Cartman> (places a finger on his chin with a contemplative smirk on his face) Nyeeesss, so you say. Do you know what year it is?

<Kyle> (rubs his eyes in frustration) Do you have a point to this, fatass?

<Cartman> (aggressively) So defensive. It's 2012, Kyle! Do you know when 9/11 happened? In 2001. That would make you at least 11 years old if you were the most devious, unamerican newborn ever.

<Kyle> (laughs mockingly) I can't believe this. Really? Don't you remember us all going to the assembly the day it happened. It couldn't have been in 2001.

<Cartman> Oh yeah? (shows Kyle a newspaper from 9/11/11 with the headline showing the world trade centers on fire from the airplane).

<Kyle> (makes a confused face, putting his fingers as if to count, then shaking his head) Just shut up, Cartman! I don't need this. It's my birthday party! (Takes his drink and storms off angrily)

<Cartman> You can't escape the truth, Kyle! The American people will know!

<Kyle> (takes a sip of his drink, obviously annoyed and flustered, but confused) I can't believe that fatass. I should know how old I am. And we all remember that assembly. (After a few short moments of contemplation, he tosses his drink to the side and goes off to find his father amongst the other parents.)

<Mr. Broflovski> There's the birthday boy! What's up, champ?

<Kyle> you remember when 9/11 was?

<Mr. Broflovski> (looks confused) Of course, Kyle. September 11th, 2001. I could never forget that. Why?

<Kyle> Just...I don't understand. Remember when I came home from school that day and talked to you about it?

<Mr. Broflovski> Of course. You were very mature about it for your age.

<Kyle> Right...It's just...How old was I?

<Mr. Broflovski> Well you were...(puts his fingers up as if to count. His eyes pop out and he freezes) You should...go enjoy your party, Kyle...

<Kyle> But...

<Mr. Broflovski> Just do it. Kyle!

<Kyle> Okay, dad...(walks off, nervous)

(Mr Broflovski walks over to the other parents, visibly shaken. He pulls Randy Marsh to the side and murmurs something in his ear. After a short moment, he pulls his hands up as if to count and makes a similar shocked expression. Randy continues this same chain of events to his wife. From his wife, it passes to another wife, and another, and from the wives to their husbands. All of a sudden, all the adults at the party are gone. The scene shifts to the children playing in various ways around the party, some of them looking for the adults.)

<Stan> (approaches Kyle) Weird. I wonder where all the parents went. I think some of the kids already left to go look for them. We should go blow out your candles if we still want anyone to eat it.

<Kyle> (still noticably confused) Right. Hey Stan? Do you- .... you know what - never mind. Let's just do this.

<Stan> Alright everyone, let's get together for cake!

(a general roar of appluase is raised as the party shifts to the dining room. Stan dims the light and Kenny lights the candles. The children begin singing "Happy Birthday." Before Kyle can blow out the candles, the parents storm in the room holding the children's birth certificates)

This marks the end of what I will write. It continues on in my head as the children being forced out of the house as they are well into their adult lives without even realizing. Cartman, being forced out of his mother's house, investigates what made everyone so glib of this fact until now and what kept them young. He realizes that the reason Kyle is older than everyone else is because he was born out of Jersey and also went to San Francisco during the hybrid fart episode. Knowing this, he realizes the cause is within South Park itself. This leads him down several possible paths that all lead up to dead end in a House-esque style of story. Finally, someone mentions that they wish Butters was there, since he always stayed positive in these situations, leading them to remember that no one had seen him in days. Upon searching his home, they find him with an "upgraded" Professor Chaos outfit that left him immobile due to it's sheer size. They cannot even see Butters behind it. Upon destroying the tin foil and revealing Butters, a bright light escapes the ball and the scene restarts back at Kyle's party. Cartman confronts Kyle once again. This time, however, Butters passes by, "just shut up, fatass. It's his birthday"
Dr Sleep
Posts: 37
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2012 9:25 pm

Re: Realization

Postby Dr Sleep » Mon Jun 18, 2012 12:52 pm

Hah, I love this. :D

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