The Random Simpsons Quotes Thread

A General discussion about everything other than South Park

Moderator: Big-Will

Feral Ibis
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2006 4:25 pm

Postby Feral Ibis » Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:47 am

Willie: Lunchlady Doris, have ye got any grease?
Doris: Yes. Yes we do.
Willie: Then grease me up woman!
Doris: Okey-dokey
And again, the Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes.
-Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)
iceiwynd
Posts: 2905
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:24 am

Postby iceiwynd » Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:12 am

Hank Scorpio: Ever seen a guy say goodbye to a shoe?

Homer: (laughing) Yes, once.
Arahitogami
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:56 pm

Postby Arahitogami » Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:04 pm

Dr. Nick: All right! Free nose jobs for everybody! Ugh, you first!
Image
general disaray
Posts: 448
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2005 4:03 pm

Postby general disaray » Tue Jan 09, 2007 4:39 pm

Lisa: That wasn't an appropriate story to tell to a child
Wiggum: Really, I keep my pants on this version
To alcohol, the cause of and solution to, all of lifes problems
love*metal
Posts: 1381
Joined: Sun Nov 19, 2006 11:11 pm

Postby love*metal » Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:33 pm

Marge - ''Kid's can be so cruel''
Bart - ''We can! Thanks mom!''
Lisa - ''Owwwwww, Quit it bart!''
Image
Feral Ibis
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2006 4:25 pm

Postby Feral Ibis » Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:39 pm

Burns: I don't know what's happening. It seems our profits have dropped 37%.
Smithers: I'm afraid we have a bad image, Sir. Market research shows people see you as something of an ogre.
Burns: I ought to club them and eat their bones!
And again, the Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes.
-Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)
triplemultiplex
Posts: 6121
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:24 am

Postby triplemultiplex » Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:57 pm

"This isn't a belt; it's a tactical pants retaining unit."

---

"Ah, for the days when air travel was a gentleman's pursuit; before any Joe Sweatsock could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham."

---

"Quimby; if you were running for mayor, he'd vote for you.
(Payed for by the Mayor Quimby for Mayor Mayoral Committee)"

---

Bart: "Milhouse, what happened? You were supposed to be the night watchman."

Milhouse: "And I watched the whole thing. First it started falling down, and then it fell down."
__________________________________________________

You read it! You can't unread it!
iceiwynd
Posts: 2905
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:24 am

Postby iceiwynd » Wed Jan 10, 2007 1:25 am

"I'LL KILL THAT MR. BURNS! And... wound that... Mr. Smithers."

---

See you in the car!
Best wishes,
-Milhouse


---

"Yo, uh... Wallet inspector!"
"Here you go. I'm sure you'll find that everything's in perfect order..."

---

"Whoa, so this is what it feels like to be robbed. I've gotta go see my therapist, and rob his ass."
AngusMcTavish
Posts: 8959
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 6:52 am

Postby AngusMcTavish » Wed Jan 10, 2007 5:34 am

Burns: Somebody up there likes me, Smithers.
Smithers: Somebody down here likes you, too, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Oh, shut up!

Band leader: For our next song, ladies and gentlemen, I hope you like the Doobie Brothers, because we've got one of them!

Bart: OW! Quit it. OW! Quit it. OW! Quit it.

(Three kids in a row, two are wearing cowboy garb, the other is on his back.)
Lisa: Howdy, y'all! I'm Annie Oakley!
Nelson: I'm Kevin Costner in one of his many Western film roles!
Ralph: I'm a gulch!
MCkormick2
Posts: 221
Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2005 10:37 pm

Postby MCkormick2 » Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:09 pm

Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, unionized work has been called an "agonizing dinosaur".

Homer: (Pterodactyl noise).

--

Can't sleep, clown will eat me...

--

Homer: There's a question here that's crossed out.
Naval Reserve Man: Due to a recent presidential order, we're not allowed to ask this question anymore...
Homer: I think I can figure it out: "Are you a homossexual?"
Naval Reserve Man: Please, sir, don't answer it. I could go to jail!
Homer: But I'm not a ho(interrupted)
Naval Reserve Man: Lalalalalala, I am not listening, lalalalalala (runs away).
Homer: Nice fella. I wonder if he's gay.

--

Burns: You'd kneel before me, wouldn't you, Smithers?
Smithers: Boy, would I...
This is not a sig.
Aym_Dand
Posts: 2236
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:31 am

Postby Aym_Dand » Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:10 pm

Troy McClure: "Oh, no, I was wrong. It was Earth all along. I guess you finally made a monkey-"

Monkeys: "Yes we finally made a monkey-"

Troy McClure: "You fi-nally made a mon-key out of Meeeee... I Love You Dr. Zaius!"
________________________________________________________
I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI

http://www.gonefiction.com
Jay C
Posts: 4299
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 4:33 pm

Postby Jay C » Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:30 pm

Moe: [answering the phone] Flaming Moe's.
Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass. First name Hugh.
Moe: Uh, hold on, I'll check. [calling] Hugh Jass! Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
Man: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.
Moe: Telephone. [hands over the receiver]
Hugh: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
Bart: [surprised] Uh, hi.
Hugh: Who's this?
Bart: Bart Simpson.
Hugh: Well, what can I do for you, Bart?
Bart: Uh, look, I'll level with you, Mister. This is a crank call that sort of backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now.
Hugh: All right. Better luck next time. [hangs up] What a nice young man.

---

Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically and while we speak in a well-educated manner, they tend to use low-brow expressions like 'oh yeah?' and 'com'ere a minute.'
Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart! Com'ere a minute.
Bart: You com'ere a minute."
Homer: Oh yeah?

---

Bart: Hey Duffman
Duffman: Please I'm not "Duffman!" anymore, I'm just plain old Barry Duffman, oh yeah.

EDIT: I fixed up the 'Hugh Jazz' quote
Read my horrible webcomic you fat assh*le!
triplemultiplex
Posts: 6121
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:24 am

Postby triplemultiplex » Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:47 pm

"This will be like taking candy from a baby... Say that sounds like a larf."

---

Mr. Burns: "Uh, this could take a while. Smithers, why don't you get drunk and stumble around for my amusement?"

Mr. Smithers: "I'll be a one-man conga line, sir."

---

"If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I'd be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a piece of hose."

---

Rex Banner: "You're out there, Beer Baron, and I'm going to get you if it's the last thing I do."

Homer: (faintly in the distance) "No you won't!"

Rex Banner: "Yes I will!"

Homer: (faintly in the distance) "Bullsh.....!"
__________________________________________________

You read it! You can't unread it!
Aym_Dand
Posts: 2236
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:31 am

Postby Aym_Dand » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:14 pm

How could I forget my all-time favorite Simpsons quote.

Homer: "Never, Marge! I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the CREAMY middles. Sure, I might offend a few the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musty odors. Oh, I'll never be the DARLING of the so-called 'CITY FATHERS,' who CLUCK their tongue, STROKE their beard and talk about, 'What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?'"
________________________________________________________
I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI

http://www.gonefiction.com
jjmac12345
Posts: 754
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2004 2:18 am

Postby jjmac12345 » Thu Jan 11, 2007 12:34 am

Homer and Marge in bed....


Marge: What are you doing Homer?

Homer: Replacing the batteries in all the remotes, we're all out of c's, so I'm widdling down some d's.

Marge: Homer you're getting acid in the bed, I'm gonna go sleep on the couch.

Homer: She sure loves that couch.
Image
Image

Return to “Off Topic Discussion”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests