The Random Simpsons Quotes Thread

A General discussion about everything other than South Park

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iceiwynd
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Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:24 am

Postby iceiwynd » Sat Jan 27, 2007 8:35 am

Lisa: Mom, there's a funny smell and a lot of cursing coming from the basement, and dad's upstairs!

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Grampa: I thought I recognized you! I gave you a plate of corn muffins to paint my chicken coop and you never did!
Chester Lampwick: Those corn muffins were terrible!
Grampa: Paint my chicken coop!
Chester Lampwick: Make me!

...

Krusty: I gave him a plate of blintzes to pain my fence and he never did!
Chester Lampwick: Those blintzes were terrible!
Krusty: Paint my fence!
Chester Lampwick: Never!

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Ralph: I heard that your dad went into a restaurant and he ate everything in the restaurant and the restaurant had to close down.

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Ralph: Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel were making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.

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Principal Skinner: Good gravy!
Cafeteria Worker: Oh, thank you, it's just brown and water.

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Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right. I'll do it! (Leaves.)
Homer: Rats, I almost had him eating dog food.

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Reverend Lovejoy: Not the church! Jesus lives there!
Aym_Dand
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Postby Aym_Dand » Mon Jan 29, 2007 6:24 pm

Abe Simpson: "I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura."
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I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI

http://www.gonefiction.com
Butters1990
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Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 7:09 pm

Postby Butters1990 » Mon Jan 29, 2007 6:47 pm

Comic Book Guy - "Worst episode ever!".
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Kenny Da King
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Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2004 12:15 am

Postby Kenny Da King » Mon Jan 29, 2007 8:15 pm

"I know an easy way to end this letter, I AM GAY."

- Homer, season 3, 8F16
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treefiddy_350
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Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2005 7:50 pm

Postby treefiddy_350 » Mon Jan 29, 2007 8:25 pm

Homer: [reading Ned's letter] "You are my brother."
Homer+Lisa+Bart: [giggle]
Homer: "I love you."
Homer+Lisa+Bart: [laugh]
Homer: "And yet, I feel a great sadness...'' [tries to stifle a giggle]... in my bosom.

Bosom.
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triplemultiplex
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Postby triplemultiplex » Mon Jan 29, 2007 10:53 pm

Rex Banner: "Listen up, Rummie, I'm gonna say it to you strait: Where'd you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger jerkin' suds on the side?"

Barney: "Yes?"

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"His brand of gum: Doublemint. Trying to double your fun, eh Bart? Well I'll double your detention. I wish someone was around to hear that."

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"You know, FOX turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice."

----

Mr. Burns: "Sector 7-G? Good God, who's the safety inspector there?"

Mr. Smithers: "Uh, Homer Simpson, sir."

Mr. Burns: "Simpson, eh? Good man? Intelligent?"

Mr. Smithers: "Actually sir, he was hired under Project Bootstrap."

Mr. Burns: "Thank you President Ford..."
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You read it! You can't unread it!
Aym_Dand
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Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:31 am

Postby Aym_Dand » Wed Jan 31, 2007 1:52 am

Homer: "I wish God was alive to see this."
________________________________________________________
I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI

http://www.gonefiction.com
treefiddy_350
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Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2005 7:50 pm

Postby treefiddy_350 » Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:24 am

Homer: You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV.
Bart: TV Sucks.
Homer: I know you're upset right now so I'll pretend you didn't say that!
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triplemultiplex
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Postby triplemultiplex » Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:09 pm

Kent Brockman: "Coming up next, which clothes pins work best? The springy ones or the other kind?"

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"We interrupt the Political Affairs Program to bring you.. a footbal game."

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"Lisa, as your brother, this is hard for me to say, but... you're not ugly."

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Keith Jackson-like sportscaster: "And they're off! And the Americans jump out to an early lead."

other sportscaster: "Though we should point out that most of the other athletes come from countries that can't afford swimming pools."

Keith Jackson-like sportscaster: "Boo-hoo, you're breakin' my heart."
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You read it! You can't unread it!
iceiwynd
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Postby iceiwynd » Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:55 pm

Homer: Here are your messages: You have thirty minutes to move your car, you have ten minutes to move your car, your car has been impounded, your car has been crushed into a cube, you have thirty minutes to move your cube. (Phone rings.) Y'ello?
Mr. Burns: Is it about my cube?

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Homer: And who could forget dear Ratboy?
Bart: I resent that!
Marge: Bart, stop chewing on the drywall.

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Homer: It's alright. I understand. But we really could've used that twelve thousand dollars.
Lisa: Um, Dad, ten percemt of 120 million dollars isn't twelve thousand dollars. It's--
Hospital Loudspeaker: Code Blue, Code Blue.

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Bart: Well! I guess I'll just have to get into the crawl space again!
Marge: I hate it when he does that. (Grabs a broom and and starts beating the wall.)
love*metal
Posts: 1381
Joined: Sun Nov 19, 2006 11:11 pm

Postby love*metal » Sun Feb 04, 2007 5:36 pm

Duff beer boat ride theme music -
Duff beer for me, duff beer for you. I'll have a duff, you'll have one to.
Duff beer for me, duff beer for you. I'll have a duff, you'll have one to.
Duff beer for me, duff beer for you. I'll have a duff, you'll have one to.
Duff beer for me, duff beer for you. I'll have a duff, you'll have one to.

Bart - ''I wanna get off!!!''

Selma - ''You can't get of, We've still got three more continents to get through!''
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butters_stoch
Posts: 132
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 12:52 am

Postby butters_stoch » Sun Feb 04, 2007 6:28 pm

homer: oh! what a beuatiful picture! we should hang it on the fridge!

marge: no homer look at picture...

homer: why...AAAHHH!!! get it away! get it away!!
For a good time, call someone who cares
Novacaine15
Posts: 478
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 8:05 pm

Postby Novacaine15 » Sun Feb 04, 2007 7:09 pm

Okay this is from the Simpsons: Hit & Run game. I'm playing it for the fifth time now.

Homer: Hey, Apu, give me a cola and I need another bucket of ice cream with mini pies in them.
Apu: What happened to the ice cream with mini pies your wife bought this morning?
Homer: I don't know, I probably ate it, I don't remember things to good.
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Aym_Dand
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Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:31 am

Postby Aym_Dand » Sun Feb 04, 2007 8:42 pm

Children's clothing store name:

"Wee Monsieur"
________________________________________________________
I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI

http://www.gonefiction.com
pull my thumb
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 1:33 am

Postby pull my thumb » Mon Feb 05, 2007 12:56 am

Here's one from the episode that's my all time favorite: Homer's Enemy

Frank Grimes: I'm peeing on the seat! Give me a raise! . . .Now I'm returning to work without washing my hands! But it doesn't matter, because I'm Homer Simpson!

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