The Random Simpsons Quotes Thread

A General discussion about everything other than South Park

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iceiwynd
Posts: 2905
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:24 am

Postby iceiwynd » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:19 pm

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Postal Worker: Okay, Mr. Burns, and what's your first name?
Homer: ... I don't know.
andrewgibson
Posts: 282
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 5:43 pm

Postby andrewgibson » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:51 pm

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!
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triplemultiplex
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Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:24 am

Postby triplemultiplex » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:45 pm

"Mr. Smithers! Mr. Smithers! That moose is on fire!"

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"That does it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to clown college!"

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"There's no such thing as 'Scotchtoberfest'!"

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Homer: "What do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?"

street vendor: "Mountain Dew or crab juice."

Homer: "Ewww! Ick! Blaaah! I'll have a crab juice."
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You read it! You can't unread it!
Aym_Dand
Posts: 2236
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:31 am

Postby Aym_Dand » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:59 pm

"Let the bears pay the Bear Tax -- I pay the Homer tax!"
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I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI

http://www.gonefiction.com
iceiwynd
Posts: 2905
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:24 am

Postby iceiwynd » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:01 pm

On that note:

"WE'RE HERE! WE'RE QUEER! WE DON'T WANT ANY MORE BEARS!"
love*metal
Posts: 1381
Joined: Sun Nov 19, 2006 11:11 pm

Postby love*metal » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:09 pm

Hans moleman - My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'M 31 YEAR'S OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thunderhorse
Posts: 2615
Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2006 9:09 pm

Postby Thunderhorse » Sat Jan 06, 2007 3:02 am

From Hit & Run:
Comic Book Guy:Worst video game ever.
Lisa:But this isn't a video ga...
Comic Book Guy:Worst video game ever.
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triplemultiplex
Posts: 6146
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:24 am

Postby triplemultiplex » Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:40 pm

"Aw that took too long. How come we had to transfer through Atlanta twice?"

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"My eyes! The goggles do not work!"

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Burns: "Use an open-faced club; a sand wedge!"

Homer: "Mmm, open-faced club sandwich..."

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"I dunno Bart, my dad's a pretty big wheel down at the cracker factory."
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You read it! You can't unread it!
triplemultiplex
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Postby triplemultiplex » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:15 am

(Hee, hee, double post!)

"Don't forget to bring back my car back tomorrow; just slide it under the door."

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"For dangerously under-weight individuals such as yourself, I recommend a slow, steady gorging process combined with ass-al horizontology."

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Lenny: "We made it! And all thanks to teamwork."

Carl: "Yeah, my teamwork."

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Marge: "Why is that monkey wearing a diaper? You said he was house-broken."

Homer & Mojo: "Meh..."
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You read it! You can't unread it!
iceiwynd
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Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:24 am

Postby iceiwynd » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:19 am

Bart: But I did tip the Feds off about the whereabouts of our good friend Milhouse...
Aym_Dand
Posts: 2236
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:31 am

Postby Aym_Dand » Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:59 pm

Surly Teenager: "Oh here comes that cannonball guy. He's cool."

Jaded Teenager: "Are you being sarcastic man?"

Surly Teenager: "I don't even know anymore."
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I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI

http://www.gonefiction.com
general disaray
Posts: 448
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2005 4:03 pm

Postby general disaray » Mon Jan 08, 2007 6:14 pm

Burns: "My good man, you're the fattest thing I've ever seen, and I've been on safari"
To alcohol, the cause of and solution to, all of lifes problems
Cartman_91
Posts: 2878
Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2004 2:22 am

Postby Cartman_91 » Mon Jan 08, 2007 8:48 pm

Krusty: And the thing about tv dinners you don't have leftover you have re runs.
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triplemultiplex
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Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:24 am

Postby triplemultiplex » Mon Jan 08, 2007 11:12 pm

teenager: "Here's your taco, mister. Oops, it fell in the frier. I'll get it... Ow! Ow! Owww! Here you are."

Krusty: "Forget it, I don't want it."

teenager: "But this comes out of my salary. If I had a girlfriend, she'd kill me."

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"Simpson, Homer Simpson. He's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree. Aaaaahhh!" <crunch>

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"Country music sucks. It just takes precious airwaves away from shock jocks whose antics amuse us all."
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You read it! You can't unread it!
iceiwynd
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Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:24 am

Postby iceiwynd » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:34 am

Ned: Ooh okay, duuuuude! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, maaaan! Here's a catch-phrase you better learn for your adult years: "Hey, Buddy, got a quarter?"

Bart: I am shocked and appalled.

Lisa: Mr. Flanders, with all due respect, Bart didn't do anything.

Ned: Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa Simpson! Springfield's answer to a question NO ONE ASKED!

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"Put a sock in it, Roy."

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"My feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone dry! Everything's coming up Milhouse!"

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