The Random Simpsons Quotes Thread

[rainbow.bix]

Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns."
Clerk: "Okay Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: "... I... don't... know."
[outside]
Homer: "Great plan Bart!"

It goes something like that, anyway.

[marvel_freak_42]

Something like this:

Indian Chief: (hands Homer and Bart two glasses and they drink from them) "Here you go; let the bear urine take its effect." (Homer and Bart stare) "Just kidding, it's Fresca."

(Bart and Homer spit it out.)

Homer: "Fresca?"

[AngusMcTavish]

Bart: Eat my shorts, Shelbyville!

Homer (with Bart): Eat...my...shoooorts!!

Flanders: Yes, eat ALL our shirts.

[triplemultiplex]

Homer: "Relax, boy. We're not gonna cook you! Enjoy your day at the beach. Ooh, look, here's a little playmate for you!"
[Pinchy gets pinched on the nose by a hermit crab and cowers]
"Hey! You don't have to take that from no punk-ass crab! What's wrong with you?"

Sea Captain: "Y'arr, it's not his fault he's a sissy. Someone's been coddling him."

Marge: "Don't look at me! I wanted to eat him!"

Sea Captain: "Eh, sorry, it's usually the mother. Eh, you know, I run a small academy for lobsters like this one. We stress tough love. Daily chores and the like."

Marge: "No! We're not sending the lobster away to some snobby boarding school."

Sea Captain: "Y'arr, I understand. It's hard to let go. Eh, tell me this, then ... do you have any spare change?"

[AngusMcTavish]

For the life of me, I just cannot remember the name of the "voice actress" who would voice Itchy and Scratchy, but I can still remember her scene with Homer, more or less.

Actress: I also did the Road Runner. "Meep!"

Homer (laughing): You mean "Meep Meep!"

Actress: No, they recorded it once and saved money by doing a playback. Cheap bastards!

[triplemultiplex]

^^^

The character was named "June Bellamy" and was, of course, voiced by the insatiable Tress McNeille.

Here's a quote that sums up my day:

Bart: "This is the worst day of my life."

Homer: "The worst day of your life so far."

[Aym_Dand]

"A town with money is like a mule with a spinning-wheel. Nobody knows how he got and dang if he knows how to use it!"

[AngusMcTavish]

Homer: I'm a rageoholic! I need my rageohol! (sobbing)

---------------------------------------------------

Lisa (on "Bleeding Gums'" death): Why did he have to die?

Homer: Well, it was like when Snowball died. Remember?? All I'm saying is all we have to do is go down to the store and get you a new jazz man.

Lisa (bawling): Aw, DAAAAAAAAAAD!!!

[rainbow.bix]

I wash myself with a rag on a stick.

[marvel_freak_42]

Krusty (upon seeing his popsicle stick sculpture done by Marge): "Hey, lady! You've gotta pay to use my name!"

Marge: "Okay." (writes "TV Clown")

Krusty: "Hey! I do more than TV! I did a one-man show on Broadway! That's who showed up... one man. MUWAHAHAHAHA!"

[S-O-U-T-H-P-A-R-K]

Milhouse: Aw Barts a goner, anyone wanna be my new friend

Ralph: ok i will

Milhouse: finally now i will be the one who demolishes

Ralph: Be quite

Milhouse: Awwwwh ok.

[Aym_Dand]

chalkboard:

"I will not aim for the head."