What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

A General discussion about everything other than South Park

Moderator: Big-Will

teh-lolrus
Posts: 593
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:22 am

What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby teh-lolrus » Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:04 am

Big-Will, nall, or any other admin/mod- if there's a duplicate thread, feel free to kill this one and redirect me to the proper thread...

:oops:

What is it that people look for when picking a girlfriend or boyfriend? I've always wondered that...

When I was looking for a boyfriend, I wanted someone who actually cared about me and would stick up to me and help me when I needed it. I looked for someone who would accept me for who I am, no matter how strange and f*cked up I am and would be able to put up with all my bitching and would lend a shoulder to cry on. Oh, I also made sure they weren't a pervert (I learned that the hard way and dumped my ex after he started getting just a little bit...creepy.)

Cuteness was a plus, but not required- fluffy (not oily) hair, pretty and deep eyes, not too obsessed with hair maintenance or whatever...

Suffice to say, I've found an amazing boyfriend under my criteria- and he's so much more than just that... We've been going out for about two and a half years as of now.

On the other hand, I really don't get what he sees in me. I've got really bad acne, I'm really fat around my belly, my temper is extremely unpredictable and I get mood swings easily, and I hardly fit in with anyone in my grade...

But, I digress. Discuss your girlfriend/boyfriend, past relationships, and what you look for when looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend.
._.
marvel_freak_42
Posts: 1776
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:55 pm

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:25 am

I have the most unlucky love life... every girl I'm interested in either has no interest in me or is "taken", and the girls who are interested in me are the ones I don't like. (Cynical? No... if you knew those girls you'd understand.)

The relationships I've had range from okay to one fucked-up mistake. I mean, I've been cheated on before, and that made me feel like an even bigger idiot than the one I already am. The best relationships I've had were nothing that special; they weren't bad, but not great.

My "ideal other": Someone who likes me for me, is pretty, creative in some eccentric way, and who doesn't mind my guitar playing (I'm slowly learning how to unplay the damn thing :lol: ).

If there was any dispute that marvel_freak_42 was the BBS' biggest wuss, there isn't now.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
Mr. Hat_DX27
Posts: 3616
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:50 pm

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby Mr. Hat_DX27 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:44 am

Perhaps your BF doesn't give a sh*t about how you look, since he knows that you're an awesome person inside, which I think is a great quality to have. (and like I said before, your pics aren't bad looking at all.).

As people, we all have the potential to be a bitch from time to time. That's just natural. Even the nicest of us have bad days, after all. From what I hear, you put up with lots of sh*t over at your school, so I don't really blame you for being a bit bitchy. I doubt he does too.

So what if you're a little chubby. Some guys like having a girl with a little meat on their bones...better to be a little round around the belly than acting like those snobby super-model wannabes and starving yourself to death, right?

Point is, think so or not, the guy loves you. I know anyone at my school who was in it for action would have probably given up by this point. Nah, this guy just genuinely loves and cares about you. It shows too. For me anyway, part of loving someone is looking past all those little discrepancies you mentioned above and seeing who the person is inside underneath the skin. If we were all perfect, it would be far too easy.

I'll post about my criteria in a bit. :P
Image
If you want me to do a signature for you, PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!
teh-lolrus
Posts: 593
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:22 am

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby teh-lolrus » Sat Mar 29, 2008 6:51 pm

MF42- Don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure you'll find someone who'll really like you. Hell, if I knew you, I'd probably go out with you as far as what you've been like on here... :P Perhaps the common factor here is acceptance; it's no fun to change who you really are just to get someone's attention. Just be yourself, and good things will come.

Hat-Man- Well...I've heard him say that he doesn't care much for looks a lot, but I've heard him rambling about how he likes everything Asian about me. :oops: Could he like me for both myself and my outside, too?

You know, now that I think about it...I hate starving myself. I could work out from time to time (when my workload tapers off), but the fatness works like polar bear blubber in the cold. :lol: I'm serious.

It's nice, I guess. All I know for sure is that he really cares for me (he's saved my ass from a few suicide attempts over the past couple of years) and he puts up with most of my crap about 98% of the time...the only thing he can't stand is me asking over and over for food (but that can't be helped, I always clear out the fridge at home even before school and the school lunches are like little snacks for me :oops: ) He's forgiving, though.
._.
Butterslover21
Posts: 793
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:59 am

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby Butterslover21 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:02 pm

i look for somebody with a great sense of humor and can be trusted. and apparently, i have to be the dudes friend cause i'm always attracted to one of my guy-friends. why is this?

god, i am so desperate for a boyfriend right now. probably every other girl in my school except me has had one.
honk if you're f*cking steve carell (cause i really wish i was!)

"i like girls with big fat titties, i like girls with deep vaginas" - kenny
teh-lolrus
Posts: 593
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:22 am

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby teh-lolrus » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:05 pm

Butterslover21 wrote:i look for somebody with a great sense of humor and can be trusted. and apparently, i have to be the dudes friend cause i'm always attracted to one of my guy-friends. why is this?

god, i am so desperate for a boyfriend right now. probably every other girl in my school except me has had one.


Ah, those are good qualities. Trust is so rare these days, but once you get it, make sure you can keep it. Don't worry too much about it, in most cases, boyfriends come and go. I suggest focusing on schoolwork at the moment, but if you can keep up the grades and focus, by all means ask someone out if you want.

My ex-boyfriend actually brought me into the boyfriend thing. He asked me out to the Homecoming Dance back in 9th grade, and the only thing that happened since then for me was I dumped him for being a pervert and I fell for my present boyfriend. ^ ^;
._.
superiorsavior
Posts: 4261
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:05 pm

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby superiorsavior » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:21 pm

Everyone except me seems to have a significant other as well, it's not just you who's alone Butters. It's better to be alone at 12 than at 17.5 I suppose. Maybee if I spent less time online and more time in RL... i'd be hit by a car while walking, sent to hospital, where i'd meet a lovely nurse or something :)

But seriously, i'm not too sure what i look for; i suppose I'll know when it happens. I'm attracted to people who are picked on by others and who depend on me a lot, who are different and not really afraid of it, who stutter/lisp (don't know why that's attractive to me) and who always see the good in everything no matter how bad it is. A sense of humour and willingness to discuss deep-ish issues is essential though :)
Superior2you
Check my Fanarts!

Death will take us so don't fight it. Become it and lean to win.
teh-lolrus
Posts: 593
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:22 am

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby teh-lolrus » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:32 pm

superiorsavior wrote:Everyone except me seems to have a significant other as well, it's not just you who's alone Butters. It's better to be alone at 12 than at 17.5 I suppose. Maybee if I spent less time online and more time in RL... i'd be hit by a car while walking, sent to hospital, where i'd meet a lovely nurse or something :)

But seriously, i'm not too sure what i look for; i suppose I'll know when it happens. I'm attracted to people who are picked on by others and who depend on me a lot, who are different and not really afraid of it, who stutter/lisp (don't know why that's attractive to me) and who always see the good in everything no matter how bad it is. A sense of humour and willingness to discuss deep-ish issues is essential though :)


It's a bit easier to ask someone out without being hit by a car. I don't like seeing cool people getting run over... All you need is...uh...I dunno. I never asked my boyfriend out, it happened the other way around both times.

It sounds like you would go well with an eccentric artistic person who can sit around and debate for hours on end. It's tougher to find people like that the further away you get from a large urban area, but they do exist. Good luck finding someone, dude!

:wink:
._.
superiorsavior
Posts: 4261
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:05 pm

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby superiorsavior » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:37 pm

I've met a few prople, who I think like me, but i've never had the courage to ask them out. For reasons detailed in the whining/venting thread :wink:
Superior2you
Check my Fanarts!

Death will take us so don't fight it. Become it and lean to win.
Mr. Hat_DX27
Posts: 3616
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:50 pm

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby Mr. Hat_DX27 » Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:52 am

WARNING! This is a f*cking big post...so big that the damn thing won't let me post it unless I split into two posts. Sorry about this, but I do got a lot of input on the topic.

My luck isn't the best in the world of relationships either, MF, so worry not. I'm not desperate in the sense that I'll look for the first attractive looking person that'll ask me out. When the moment's right, I'll find the right person. I don't like forcing things to happen.

Here be my partner criteria. It's pretty solid, because once upon a time, for a short while, I pretty much had someone who met all of it and then some. That'll be a story for another time though.

PERSONALITY:
I think this is one of the most important things to find in a person. I mean, someone can be extremely good looking, but can also be very annoying and/or selfish. Then you can find someone who's average looking, but has a great, loving personality that just makes you smile.

Me, I like people with fun personalities. Someone you can joke around with and not always be serious all the time. Someone who's genuinely nice, and isn't a selfish bitch to me, or anyone else for that matter. I also like open-mindedness.

INTERESTS:
I think mutual interests are a good thing to have in a relationship. They're not the most required thing in the world, but it's always great to have stuff in common. That's not to say they have to share EVERY interest of yours, just a few if not a lot. In fact, it could be interesting to be with someone with vastly differing interests that both people could introduce each other to.

I would prefer to have someone with a few common interests as me. Anyone here who knows me well enough here would know some particular interests that I'd prefer. I'm somewhat of a video game nut, and also like cartoons/anime, as well as checking out various forms of cool sounding music. If I got with someone who liked similar things, that would be pretty cool, cause it would give us plenty of things to do and talk about with each other. I don't expect the other person to be as technically inclined as me though.

COMUNICATION:
This has probably got to be one of the most important things to have in a relationship, in my opinion. Being able to express your ideas to each other, how they're feeling, all that stuff. After all, relating is communicating, right? This is actually a partial reason for why my last one failed, although it's not what you might think. Again, story for another day.

I'd like someone who I could talk about pretty much anything with, and who would feel comfortable about talking to me about anything that comes to mind. Someone who isn't afraid to let me know if something I'm doing is bothering them, and can take the time to listen to reason during the inevitable arguments that come with relationships.

SEXUALITY:
Probably one of the most overrated aspects of a relationship. I don't think a relationship should be based on or dependent on the physical stuff and that alone. Some people feel ready for that kinda stuff earlier than others, and it's not a good idea for one person to force the other into territory that he or she doesn't feel ready for or comfortable with just yet. Again, instead of trying to force stuff to happen, just let it happen when it's meant to happen, if that makes any sense.

Now, I'd be a liar if I said I was a virgin, nor would I be completely truthful if I said I would mind if casual or semi-casual sexual activity was involved...but then again, I am a dude. But still, I wouldn't ever force the other person in the relationship to do anything that she didn't feel ready for, or comfortable with. Knowing me, I'd probably leave all that up to her, since I'd probably be ready whenever she is. I'd also prefer if the relationship didn't get too dependent on that kinda stuff, as I said before.

COMMITMENT:
When in a serious relationship, it's not really a good idea to be messing around with other people. While I'm sure other people have different standards involving this, I do think there is such thing as going too far with other people.

I'd like someone who wasn't a total whore. Someone who doesn't just go screw a bunch of other people while hardly giving me the necessary time of day.

...stay tuned for Part II!
Last edited by Mr. Hat_DX27 on Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image
If you want me to do a signature for you, PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!
Mr. Hat_DX27
Posts: 3616
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:50 pm

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby Mr. Hat_DX27 » Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:00 am

ok, now for Part II! Again, the thing wouldn't let me post it as a whole single post. :P

MOTIVATION:
Have you ever asked "Why is this person dating me?”"or "What does this person see in me?" or other similar questions? They could like you, or they could just be trying to fill some kind of void. Other times someone might want to try to hook up with someone who's popular for the sake of looking "cool"...totally not the way to go.

Me, well, I'd like someone who actually liked me for me. Not because they're on a rebound, or because they feel as if they'd fit in with the rest of their "taken" friends, or the like. I'd just like someone who liked me for who I am, my personality, and all that other stuff that counts, and who won't get "bored" with me the next week and move onto someone else not long after.

TRUST:
Another important thing to have in a relationship. Being able to trust the other person to come through with things, as well as being able to trust them not to betray or cheat on them in any way, shape or form.

I'd like someone who I could count on for pretty much anything that comes to mind, as well as someone who I could trust to keep faithful in the relationship.

POSESSIVENESS:
Some people seem to like making a relationship so one-sided to the point where the other person has to pretty much change their way of life in order to suit the other person's liking. I donno, that just doesn't seem right.

I'd like to have someone who could feel comfortable doing whatever they normally do, be it hang out, play some kind of sport, plan on going somewhere for a while, etc), without me disapproving and disallowing them to go with it, and vice versa. Just because two people become a part of each other's lives doesn't really mean they can control each other.

ALCOHOL AND OTHER SUBSTANCE USE-RELATED STUFF:
There are those who like to keep clean, and then there are those who like to totally trip balls. While I do think there is such a thing as overdoing it, I don't think a huge deal should be made of it. This part sorta intertwines with the Possessiveness department.

If the person I was dating enjoyed activities such as casual drinking and toking, so long as it doesn't cause problems and affect her personality to the point where she becomes a total douchebag, then I don't really see the harm in it.

JEALOUSY ISSUES:
While it's a good idea to stay committed to one another, it's also possible to go too far with restricting each other to each other, if that makes sense. This means, the two people in the relationship shouldn't become jealous with one another when one sees the other innocently mingling with their other friends.

I think it's cool to have someone who won't get randomly jealous whenever I happen to hang around other people I know for a while, and who doesn't have to worry about me getting that way when she does so.

SEPERATION:
It's inevitable that there will be times when a couple will go through a few days, weeks or possibly a month or so without seeing each other. It's only natural to miss the aforementioned away significant other, but don't get too uptight and emotional about it.

I'd like someone who won't get all whiney and paranoid whenever I have to take my leave for a few days, or don't talk to her for a while due to other things keeping me occupied, and vice versa. Just because there might be a communication laps doesn't mean the away person isn't thinking about the person.

BREAKUP AND AFTERMATH:
It's too easy to say something will last forever. After all, forever is a really, really long time. Even the most seemingly perfect couples split up after a while, be it because of a chain of events, or because the emotional "connection" was lost, or possibly other unfortunate circumstances beyond their control.

Fortunately I've been lucky with this. In the last two relationships I've been in, I've been able to split up with both of them without feeling the least bit awkward towards them the next day. I think that's the best way for something like that to end. Sometimes things just aren't meant to work out...or, perhaps it wasn't meant to be until sometime later...it's hard to tell. But either way, if you can end a relationship on a friendly mutual note, and still maintain good friend status, it isn't like you've done anything wrong.

...phew! Ok, I'm done now.
Image
If you want me to do a signature for you, PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!
teh-lolrus
Posts: 593
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:22 am

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby teh-lolrus » Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:56 am

I agree with the stuff you said up there, Hatman. It's rather well-grounded. Even the breakup stuff makes sense (and in most cases, it's filled with drama, as I've seen from school...).

I can relate to the intrests/similarities being completely different, though. My boyfriend and I are complete opposites- I love lurking inside all day, drawing and painting whereas he's outside most of the time doing something. He looks like a "normal" kid and I stick out from everyone. It's stuff like this that seems to...how to put it...balance each other out. It's intresting, but perhaps "opposites attract" is true sometimes.

On sexuality- I prefer to set limits, a drawn out line at the very beginning of the relationship. It's much more important to get to know said person before you start randomly f*cking them. That's why I dumped my ex- he started getting really perverted...ha...like groping my ass ><...'kay, that wasn't cool (although it was the most perverted thing he did, I would have none of it).

I'm still friends with my ex to this day, he makes my whole CG class laugh and we have the greatest stories and inside jokes...

I guess so far everything's worked out pretty well for me.
._.
butters kenny
Posts: 10135
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:19 pm

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby butters kenny » Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:35 am

superiorsavior wrote: I'm attracted to people who are picked on by others and who depend on me a lot, who are different and not really afraid of it, who stutter/lisp (don't know why that's attractive to me) and who always see the good in everything no matter how bad it is. A sense of humour and willingness to discuss deep-ish issues is essential though :)
in other words butters?
I Wasn't choking you I was just hugging your neck

R.I.P Chef for realz this time

( chef joined the sith so why don't you?)

R.I.P Billy Bonka
butters kenny
Posts: 10135
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:19 pm

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby butters kenny » Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:38 am

in a girlfreiend i look for someone whose honst and kind i guess
I Wasn't choking you I was just hugging your neck

R.I.P Chef for realz this time

( chef joined the sith so why don't you?)

R.I.P Billy Bonka
polymorph
Posts: 1007
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:57 pm

Re: What is it you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Postby polymorph » Sun Mar 30, 2008 5:48 am

Something I think a potential partner would have to have would be patience. Because I've been informed I can be a bit annoying and pushy.
Image
Rasputin, bring in the bucket of soapy frogs and remove his trousers

Return to “Off Topic Discussion”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests