“Oh Jesus, just wait until they find out we also make teddy bears... They'll probably try to invade us.”
~ Queen Margrethe II on Islam
“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.”
~ Shakespeare on Danish Cartoons!
“Wow! Whata beautiful mountain!.”
~ George Bush on Yding Skovhøj!
Legoland, also known as Denmark or Wulffland, is the smallest and most inconspicuous part of the kingdom of the Faroe Islands and should never be confused with any enjoyable or fun place. There have been several attempts to throw Denmark out of this unholy union of states, but they are holding on for dear life. Having deserted it's member states and gone to bed with Germany (check any map of northern Europe, and you will see what I mean), Denmark will soon lose it's membership in "The Real Viking Countries". Denmarks most brutal inhabitant is Rasmuscles from Bruxelles
Of course The Danes will not try to resist this decision. Denmark is infact the only country in the world that hasn't won a war (Well they did make a smart move and joined USA in Iraq, but that one is a close call.) and is on the top of the Easiest to invade list (who doesn't remember when the Faroe Islander Diddi Jó called Queen Margaret telling her he'd invade the country with two of his best friends. Of course she simply gave up)
Someone in Denmark once sketched a cartoon of some kind of prophet or something. The middle east rejoiced in appreciation, and tourism quickly tripled. Danish inns, hotels, hostels and discount supermarkets now estimate approximately 7 overnight stays per year.
* Greenland, Tasmania, Finland, Narnia, Faroe Islands, Very Northern Germany and Burkina Faso are all part of the Commonwealth of Denmark.
* For many years Denmark gathered armies and plotted to invade the United Kingdom. Which they actually succeeded in doing, many years ago, although due to the size of their ridiculously small army, a consequence of their equally diminutive population, nobody actually noticed. Both the famous city New York and the English town of York were named by the Danish King Valdemar.
* One of the secrets behind the Danes being so rich is that Danes never get old. It is common for an average Dane to die when they have reached the age of 30. Simply because of drinking too much beer. This way Danes work and pay huge taxes, and never get a return on the taxes they’d paid. Only the Danish politician stays away from the deadly Danish beer.
* The main exports of Denmark are Great Danes, plastic bricks, salted herring, plastic bricks, meatballs, bacon, butter cookies, plastic bricks, windmills, ceramic car bumpers, pastries, plastic bricks, Andersens, Christensens, Jensens, dodgy footballers, plastic bricks and expensive deadly alcohol. They are also said to have been the founding fathers of Danish Pastry, even though most Danes don't actually have a clue on what it is (and those who do blame it on Vienna).
* The Danish flag was made in Estonia and sold by Estonian spice merchants for 2 beers on the 15 June 1219. The buyer was King Valdemar who wasn't very fond of Estonian beer.
* In Denmark it is recommended by the Ministry of Health to drink a minimum of 21 pints of beer a week for men, and 14 for the woman. (Note: They really mean you HAVE to drink, or you will go to jail)
* There is only one woman in Denmark. She is currently unavailable.
* All Danes overconsume alcohol, frequently in the form of Grooobblequark, made from fermented milk, acorns, pies and used tires of 1980's Opel's, the most popular variant being that of the Kadett, Ascona and Manta tires.
* The Danish Parliament building is made of Lego bricks, through 25 years of extra Lego tax. All danes had to pay 10 % of their Lego pay, on top of the other taxes, (80 % Lego income taxes).
* All Danes work at the local Lego factory, 2 days a month to contribute to the building of huge pyramids, and great pig sties. The bacon manifacture is the 74.th greatest export of Denmark.
* The Danish great Satan worshippers "Bamse og Kylling" have indoctrinated Danes since the beginning of time. They have also spawned a few minor offspring like "Anna og Lotte", "Dolph" and "Kaj og Andréa"
* The greatest hero in Denmark is "Jakob Stegelmann". With an unending energy he has been feeding the Danes (and the Scanians lucky enough to be able to watch Danish TV) the virtues of comics, role playing games, computer games and more life saving things since the time of Bamse and Kylling.
* Danes like GÖÖÖÖL. GÖÖÖÖL or gøl, is a extremly corrosive substance that is the main food of the Danes, it is yellow and sticky and if one happens to come in contact with it, it will transform the person who touches it into a legendary monsterous being known in Denmark as "Pia Kjaersgaard"
* This land is also known for having Amin Jensen as resident
* In ancient Denmark, Lego bricks were used as a food source, a building material, and quest tokens.
* It is rumoured, that certain danish males can reach their own toes. This is yet to be proven, however, as the latest footage turned out to be heavily altered.
* During the second world war, the danish people was nearly eradicated due to poverty, as the controlling nazis shut down all breweries, thus removing beer from the danish markets.
It is responsible (alongside with some other cartoons) for the death of over 120 people worldwide.
Let's hope, nobody links this to al-jazeera...
And just in case: Allahu Akbar!
"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
PIPaul wrote:And when the real vikings from Finland F-off to their home-world.
There were never vikings in Finland.
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