The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible)

A General discussion about everything other than South Park

Moderator: Big-Will

Just_Jackie
Posts: 1409
Joined: Sat May 26, 2007 1:38 am

The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible)

Postby Just_Jackie » Sat Sep 18, 2010 11:04 am

http://www.cracked.com/article_16546_6- ... bible.html

Dude, if you can read #2 :| and not :lol: you deserve a medal.
zzyzx 1
Posts: 4887
Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:20 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby zzyzx 1 » Sat Sep 18, 2010 11:20 am

I guess I get a medal 8)

Actually, I'm very familiar with the Song of Solomon and perhaps I did :lol: at first; but now I think I must be desensitized to that passage or something because I know the Song of Solomon so well. So for me, it was easy reading because I already knew the story.

What's curious is that the article doesn't mention the most depraved sex act imo: Abraham, the father of three faiths: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam was married to Sarah, who was also Abraham's SISTER :o

And Abraham's first born, Ishmael, was born to his handmaiden, Hagar. And Ishmael's descendants became Islam; Abraham's second born, the first with his wife/sister Sarah, Isaac - his descendants went on to found Judaism.

As Stan Marsh would say: "That sounds pretty fυcked up right here." :lol:

Thanks for posting the article, Jackie :)
2+2=5
Posts: 317
Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:32 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby 2+2=5 » Sat Sep 18, 2010 9:19 pm

Wasn't the sister thing just a lie to Pharoph, depraved in itself but not incest... unlike whatever happened to make the woman Cain married in nod, or the things Lot and his daughters got upto. I'm still wondering if Adam "knew" the animals in eden in the biblical sense before God's plan B of making a woman.
SuperMaids/superiorsavior/PIPaul strikes again...because he forgot his Passover. Again.
zzyzx 1
Posts: 4887
Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:20 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby zzyzx 1 » Sat Sep 18, 2010 9:46 pm

2+2=5 wrote:Wasn't the sister thing just a lie to Pharoph, depraved in itself but not incest...


No, Abraham and Sarah had the same father, Terah. They are 1/2 siblings, so it really wasn't a lie; they are brother and sister AND man and wife; they mislead Pharoh by not telling him about the married part.
Pip Tweek
Posts: 5101
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:15 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby Pip Tweek » Sun Sep 19, 2010 2:45 am

Image


No One blasphemes like Space Moose.
Last edited by Pip Tweek on Sun Sep 19, 2010 2:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
M00ndragon69
Posts: 9593
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2003 4:32 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby M00ndragon69 » Sun Sep 19, 2010 5:06 am

You know what..Screw drawing Muhamadd, why not draw comic strips of these stories instead? It would be more fun. Drawing boobs is a lot of fun..LOL
Image
Big-Will
Board Moderator
Posts: 18818
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 8:57 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby Big-Will » Sun Sep 19, 2010 5:20 am

It has been said that nothing in porn could match the Bible - it is the most pornographic book ever written.

That's probably false though, :lol:
The South Park Scriptorium
The South Park Scriptorium on Facebook

Favorite Character: Butters
Need to look for something on the board? Use the search links below: US version
BRMBug
Posts: 18534
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:43 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby BRMBug » Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:29 am

Wow.
Just_Jackie
Posts: 1409
Joined: Sat May 26, 2007 1:38 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby Just_Jackie » Sun Sep 19, 2010 9:23 am

BRMBug wrote:Wow.


LOL Now I should get a medal.
Reiska
Posts: 149
Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 4:46 pm

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby Reiska » Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:48 pm

Beside all rape, incest and sodomy in bible, any god that kills a planetful of flora & fauna with a flood just because two people excercised their free will given to them by that same god according to the fairytale, and yet pretends to be a highest love of all deserves nothing but a healthy kick out of heaven of whaever it is where such mass murdering monstrosity resides and a quick death & eternal oblivion.
" They must find it difficult...

Those who have taken authority as the truth rather than truth as the authority. "
Big-Will
Board Moderator
Posts: 18818
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 8:57 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby Big-Will » Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:17 pm

Reiska wrote:...any god that kills a planetful of flora & fauna with a flood just because two people excercised their free will given to them by that same god...

You have two stories confused here.
1. God kicked those two people out because they did what he explicitly told them not to do. Sure, they exercised their free will, but that wasn't gonna happen without some consequences, and so that couple was kicked out of the Garden of Eden.
2. God killed a plethora of flora and fauna because a whole lot of people, not just a couple, decided to exercise their free will wrongly. But the flora recovered on its own, and anywhere between two and seven of each fauna that was on the earth was on the ark. Sea and air fauna didn't have to worry about drowning, so the fish stayed in the sea, and the birds could take off and land on the ark as they wished.
The South Park Scriptorium
The South Park Scriptorium on Facebook

Favorite Character: Butters
Need to look for something on the board? Use the search links below: US version
VACOOLA
Posts: 666
Joined: Wed Oct 14, 2009 4:55 pm

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby VACOOLA » Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:25 pm

Reiska wrote:Beside all rape, incest and sodomy in bible, any god that kills a planetful of flora & fauna with a flood just because two people excercised their free will given to them by that same god according to the fairytale, and yet pretends to be a highest love of all deserves nothing but a healthy kick out of heaven of whaever it is where such mass murdering monstrosity resides and a quick death & eternal oblivion.

EXCELLENT!!!

Nothing to add.

Image
Reiska
Posts: 149
Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 4:46 pm

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby Reiska » Mon Sep 20, 2010 1:52 pm

Big-Will wrote:You have two stories confused here.
1. God kicked those two people out because they did what he explicitly told them not to do. Sure, they exercised their free will, but that wasn't gonna happen without some consequences, and so that couple was kicked out of the Garden of Eden.

2. God killed a plethora of flora and fauna because a whole lot of people, not just a couple, decided to exercise their free will wrongly. But the flora recovered on its own, and anywhere between two and seven of each fauna that was on the earth was on the ark. Sea and air fauna didn't have to worry about drowning, so the fish stayed in the sea, and the birds could take off and land on the ark as they wished.


I'm not mixing or compairing these two, just pointing out with clear evidence based on reason and logic how sick mass murderer this " god " is. Thats why i wrote "beside all ".


Big-Will wrote:God killed a plethora of flora and fauna because a whole lot of people, not just a couple, decided to exercise their free will wrongly.


Millions of innocent animal and human victims. If this god is omnipotent, why did it kill all those innocents ?

What kind of a sick maniac gives a free will and then massacres it's children if they decide to act " wrong " ??

And by what does this kind of mass murderer pretend to anyone that it is a highest father of love ???


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

This wise man says it much better than i. May he rest in peace and since he was so honest, i know he will.
" They must find it difficult...

Those who have taken authority as the truth rather than truth as the authority. "
Big-Will
Board Moderator
Posts: 18818
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 8:57 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby Big-Will » Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:24 pm

Reiska wrote:Millions of innocent animal and human victims. If this god is omnipotent, why did it kill all those innocents ?

Do you throw out a whole batch of anything when only a few parts go bad? Do you not recall whole car lines when a problem is found with some of the vehicles in those lines? As for the animals, like I said before, he made provisions for their ongoing propagation.

Also, it's rather hard to rain on just the guilty. God was working through natural processes in the Deluge.

Reiska wrote:What kind of a sick maniac gives a free will and then massacres it's children if they decide to act " wrong " ??

Someone who expects his children to use their brains properly. I suppose it's too bad he has no one to answer to, or there wouldn't be all this massacring. And the better question is, why could he murder all his children when they didn't have nuclear weapons, but not now when they do have them?

Reiska wrote:And by what does this kind of mass murderer pretend to anyone that it is a highest father of love ???

That's for him to answer, if he exists. I can't answer that question for him. Since he doesn't exist for you, there's no answer at all.

Reiska wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

This wise man says it much better than i. May he rest in peace and since he was so honest, i know he will.

On that we can agree. :)
The South Park Scriptorium
The South Park Scriptorium on Facebook

Favorite Character: Butters
Need to look for something on the board? Use the search links below: US version
2+2=5
Posts: 317
Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:32 am

Re: The 6 Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible

Postby 2+2=5 » Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:55 pm

This isn't the place to rage against the heavens; here we praise the prime example of prehistoric porno called the Bible ;)
SuperMaids/superiorsavior/PIPaul strikes again...because he forgot his Passover. Again.

Return to “Off Topic Discussion”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests