Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

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Ichben
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Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby Ichben » Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:11 am

Masturbation has been a problem for me for a long, long time. I want to stop the addiction. I want the pain to go away so I can stop masturbating and live my life in peace because for years now my life has been anything but peaceful. It has been nothing but bad for as long as I can remember and being in this bad place is no fun at all. The place where the clown screams my name over and over again on a speaker phone in my closet. Driving me f*cking crazy, driving me incredibly mad!!!

"Come out Ichben!!! Come on and play boy! It's time for your medicine my little peach pot...it's time for your f*cking bath!!!" says Pennywise. He screams my name over and over again until it hurts, until my heart starts to break into a million little pieces and bleed in a million little lies.

I masturbate to keep the pain away, it's the only way I can sleep at night because sleeping has been hard for me recently. The constant chatter of the clown has grown louder over the years. The whispers, the taunts, the dirty noises. It's all so bad and disgustingly gross. He just won't shut the f*ck up. He won't leave me alone because he's a part of me and he's a part of my f*cking mind and he won't go away.

"Come on boy let me rub ya sonny. I wanna make ya all warm and nice. I want to blow you like a balloon and see how high you float. Because in the end, we all float boy, we all do..." says Pennywise. Part of me is dirty because part of me wants this bad and I know this is bad and I won't do it because they are watching, the thought police are watching me and they are watching me act very very bad.

They know I think bad thoughts and they know I have been bad. "It's the clown" I tell them, "it's the clown that's making me do this, the clown is making me masterbate BAD!!!" They ignore my cries and tell me to go to the room of no darkness, the room of horror and time.

"No, no, anywhere but there" I say, "Anywhere but room 101" The thought police remain silent, motionless, lifeless. All these years I thought they were trying to help me get away from the clown. The people I thought were my protectors, my friends, my comrades in arms, I thought they loved me the way a big brother should love his younger brother. The way a brother should love his friend. Now I know the truth, all of their kindness was a lie.

"Your moment of weakness was a sin" says a petite lady dressed in tight green military clothes. "LIAR" I scream. She looks at me with pity, takes my hand and leads me to a mirror. What I see takes my breath away. I look in the mirror and see a man at war with himself. A man in a constant battle with his mind and his soul. The man in the mirror, the man in the glass is barely a man at all, he..."IT"...is something entirely different, something entirely new and old at the same time. The thing in the mirror laughs loud and ugly. I can't stand it, I can't bare to watch.

I step away from the mirror. I move away from the glass trying my best to understand what has happen to me and what I saw. Was this the result of the masterbation? Am I committing a sin by performing the act? Is the clown killing me softly? Is he killing me slow. Or is it the fault of the thought police. Always telling me what I should do or should say or should act? Always on my back like a monkey with no guile?? People please tell me I beg? Is what I am doing a sin? Is it killing my soul? And will it kill yours?
Zazaban
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby Zazaban » Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:52 am

No, no it is not. Now have fun.
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Big-Will
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby Big-Will » Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:13 am

The official Catholic position is that it is still a sin, and so it is still bad for your soul, but in practice, masturbation only prevents the propagation of mankind, which is not a bad idea when you have 7 billion souls walking around on the planet now, and it's no more worse for your soul than marijuana is for your body.

But your fixation with clowns is far more disturbing than masturbation could ever be. Go see a psychiatrist.
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kfgg
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby kfgg » Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:45 am

Masturbate, fine. We all do it whether we admit it or not

You must be hallucinating. There's no clown. You need to speak to someone now. I'm guessing you're European. Call 112 right now!
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triplemultiplex
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby triplemultiplex » Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:24 pm

Was that for real or some sort of darkly humorous creative writing sample?
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Mopie
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby Mopie » Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:25 pm

this sounds like something that would be on coast to coast AM. Yeah i know i got the tin foil out.
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GeminiShamrock
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby GeminiShamrock » Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:40 pm

I don't know. All I know is the world is saved thanks to...Mint Berry Crunch?! The hell?!
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Ichben
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby Ichben » Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:29 pm

triplemultiplex wrote:Was that for real or some sort of darkly humorous creative writing sample?


Tell me this Mr. Shamrock...Is the Lion King still the King of the jungle when the jungle is filled with flames!!???

Answer that question and you shall have your answer. Good luck my young comrade, good luck and good day...

Ichben Einberliner
Ichben
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby Ichben » Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:32 pm

Big-Will wrote:The official Catholic position is that it is still a sin, and so it is still bad for your soul, but in practice, masturbation only prevents the propagation of mankind, which is not a bad idea when you have 7 billion souls walking around on the planet now, and it's no more worse for your soul than marijuana is for your body.

But your fixation with clowns is far more disturbing than masturbation could ever be. Go see a psychiatrist.


I've tried to see a psychiatrist Mr. Will, but the problem is the psychiatrist didn't want to see me. How do you talk to someone who doesn't want to see? How do you listen to someone who doesn't care to hear?

Ichben Einberliner
kfgg
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby kfgg » Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:12 am

You need to find someone who WILL. Not everybody accepts patients. Believe me. Been there.
Stan and Kyle :)
Niels0827
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby Niels0827 » Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:19 am

Switch to atheism or agnosticism. Problem solved, sir.

By the way, fan fiction doesn't go in 'off-topic discussion'.
Ichben
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby Ichben » Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:04 am

kfgg wrote:You need to find someone who WILL. Not everybody accepts patients. Believe me. Been there.


Why can't you be my psychiatrist? Why can't you be my friend in need? Why can't this be a place of healing and love for all???

Ichben Einberliner
Pip Tweek
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby Pip Tweek » Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:21 am

Ichben wrote:
Ichben Einberliner


So, you're a jelly donut?

Maybe I'm jaded, but I don't really find this stuff all that funny. IMO If you're going to make it as a gimmick poster here, you need better material. But don't give up, you've got fresh energy.
BRMBug
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby BRMBug » Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:46 am

As someone who faps often and frequently, I'm not really worried about it m'self. I'm going to hell for faaar worse shit anyway.
zzyzx 1
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Re: Is masturbation a sin? Is it bad for your soul?

Postby zzyzx 1 » Sat Mar 05, 2011 4:46 am

Ichben wrote:Why can't you be my psychiatrist? Why can't you be my friend in need? Why can't this be a place of healing and love for all???


Have you tried the Naked Therapist? No Joke: Therapy starts at $150 per hour:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/0 ... 30887.html

Warning: PG pics of the therapist:

http://sarahwhitelive.com/jm-darling

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