CARTMAN LOVERS vs CARTMAN HATERS

[andrew.cameron]

Their messages are not always good ones, they simply are.

What? That last sentence makes it sound like Kyle and Stan are good. I thought you said they were neutral.

Sorry about that. I meant the "they" after the comma in that last sentence to refer to the messages. I abuse pornouns a little too much because I have been an English major for WAY too long.

So it should read like this:

Stan and Kyle's messages are not always good ones, the messages simply exist.

[Cartman L.]

Yaeee!Us Cartman's lovers are ahead!!!!

[xwoman]

cartman lovesss

[cartman8213]

CARTMAN KICKS ASS HE OWNS THE HOUSE I MEAN HE KILLS AND HE STEALS HE THE BEST CHARECTER EVER IF I COULD BE HIM ID LOVE IT HES THE BEST!

Here's how to be like him:


1. Eat 30 times your original weight.

2. Begin talking like you have marshmallows packed tightly in your cheeks. When mastered, pack marshmalows tightly in your cheeks and always carry a bag of them with you.

3. Buy lots of red shirts, poly-stretch brown pants, Nazi costumes and dresses.

4. Get a haircut that makes you look like you're wearing a toupee. Dye it Feces Brown and cover it with a light blue wool cap.

5. Go to a pig hollering contets and learn to squeal.

6. Read and live by everthing Ann Coulter ever worte.

7. Use bacon fat for underarm deordorant.

8. Embrace bestiality.

9. Move back in with your mom and demand things. If unsuccessful, break her with guilt. If still unsucessful, kill her and get a crack whore.

10. Learn how to break into other people's homes.

11. Get a frontal lobotomy.

12. Sit on your ass, eat Poofs and watch TV all day until you have an evil scheme.

That was by far the most amusing post I have ever read here.

[Cartman's Top Enemy]

Yaeee!Us Cartman's lovers are ahead!!!!

Well, he's got enough ass to go around

[Total_Beefcake]

Stan is my favorite, but Cartman comes up second.

Cartman is sadistic, fat, and he has one of the dirtiest mouths I've ever seen. I'm a lot like him.

Yes, I enjoy seeing people in pain, and I'm a bit on the chubby side. And I'll cuss in front of anyone. So therefore, I love Cartman. Hands down. :3

[Nonni3000]

Cartman rox, what Cartman says is the truth.

[Cartman's Top Enemy]

Cartman rox, what Cartman says is the truth.

No, he waddles. If Asschins said the sky was green, would you believe it?

[butters489]

Eric Cartman is one of the greatest cartoon characters ever made. I can't help but like him!

[Nonni3000]

No, he waddles. If Asschins said the sky was green, would you believe it?

If Cartman would say it then yes. And please dont keep this argument up, Cartman's Worst Enemy vs Cartman's Biggest Fan, could go on forever.

[Oddjob]

Cartman is a bigot, he's horribly obese, he's an assh*le, and he literally does not know how to be kind or nice. But some things, you can't help but agree with him on. Sure he's a jackass, but-KYle's mom is, in fact, a big fat bitch. He voices opinions that we would if we had no sense of self preservation. If Cartman lived in a real town, he would probably be dead or severely wounded by way of a very angry person who just heard what he had to say about people of their specific religion/minority. He's like an old Bond villain, except without the cold ruthlessness, the skinny white cats, and a lot more swearing and blubber. You can't help but laugh at a character like that.

[Taranis_Music]

You people are f*cking idiots, it's a show get a life and stop hating a fictional character. Calling him fat and other stupid names suck ass "stinknutz" and "scrotum neck" isn't funny, it's just stupid and immature.

[Nonni3000]

w0rd.

[~*cartman'sfangirl*~]

... ya gotta love boards like this, there's never a dull moment XD

I love Cartman basically because he's manipulating, psychotic, sadistic assh*le. And though all those are bad qualities, I believe that's what makes him so funny- and it's because he's so funny that I'm such a Cartman lover. But if he was a real person and walked up to me and called me a whore, I'd definately smack him, because I've met way too many people like that and they annoy the sh*t out of me. But since he's not a real person but instead a cartoon character, I find it amusing to watch someone who just doesn't give a f*ck and does whatever the hell he feels like doing, no matter who he annoys along the way- and finds a way to make it hilarious. I love how a cartoon character can be such a badass, yet a total f.ag at the same time . And I do feel bad for the kids he rips on, but I just can't bring myself to hate him for his attitude.

And as for Cartman haters, I don't agree with you at all but I can't really hate you for your opinion. Because truthfully, having a deep hatred for a cartoon character can't be crazier than having deep love for a cartoon character. I mean, this is a peice of construction paper we're talking about... yet there are people who hate Cartman's guts and would probably love to see him die a slow and painful death, and other people (like me) who love him in a way no one should ever love a cartoon. It's f*cked up, but true and probably never going to change. The only really "normal" people are the ones who think of Cartman as a cartoon who has some funny - and not-so-funny - moments in the show, and not much beyond that. So it would be hypocritical for me to rip on haters for hating Cartman, but they still can annoy me... I can't help that, you guys.

... plus I used to be a Cartman hater (though not a hardcore hater), so i kinda still remember how it feels.

If I remember right, the topic for this board was something about the haters outnumbering the lovers... I thought the answer would be obvious, there wouldn't be so many episodes centered around him if he was hated more than loved. Also, I think I read a post on here about Stan, Kyle and Kenny being less important than Cartman... I think that even though overall Cartman is the favorite of the four boys, it doesn't mean the others aren't as important. They help keep the show going just like Cartman does, though sometimes it can be hard to tell since Cartman is usually the main focus of many of the episodes.

... and btw, if i repeated anything that had already been pointed out in a previous post (which i probably did), sorry- I'm in a lazy mood at the moment and didn't feel like reading all the posts before writing this one.

Fellow Cartman Lovers: A word of advice~ PLEASE don't just post over and over again "Cartman rocks he's the best he kicks ass ...etc." I agree with you, but simply posting random pointless sh*t like that isn't helping! C'mon, people!

[Stovepipe_Jam]

I'm not so serious about hating Cartman anymore. He's actually an okay character.... Of course if he was real I'd kick him in the balls.