barbrady: "...blue is blue?"
jacov: "awww, did i lose?"
Kyle: "I'm a Paladin, Cartman!!"
Cartman: "Jews can't be Paladins."
(At the council)
Jimmy: "That video could have been made by Sauron's evil f--forces."
Craig: "It could hold a mental spell of some kind."
Kevin: "Perhaps we could use it to strengthen our starcruisers."
Cartman: "Kevin, god-dammit."
or just any number of quotes from that episode.
Cartman: A what?
Kyle: An ail-nay ile-fay.
Cartman: What's that?
Kyle: Listen, aggot-fay! An ail-nay ile-fay so you can eak-bray out of ison-pray!
Stan: Yeah, you stupid umbass-day!
Cartman: Look, I'd love to eat a cake, you guys, but we can't take anything back to the cells from here.
Kyle: What?! They on't-day?! Why the ell-hay ot-nay?! It ook-tay our-fay hours to ake-bay this oddamn-gay ake-cay, and now we're otally-tay ewed-scray!
Stan: . . . Yeah.
Sorry, I dont have any jewish candy
Lets sing 'Kyles Mom's a stupid bitch' in D minor
Kyle: Cartman, you have such a fat ass, that when people walk down the street they go, 'God damn, that's a big, fat ass.
Cartman: No, they don't, you jealous weakling.
Passing Man: God damn, that's a big fat ass.
Cartman: Don't worry, Tweek. Your family can go on welfare. Kenny's family's on welafare and they're happy, isn't that right, Kenny?
Kenny: f*ck you.
Cartman: I've learned something, too: selling out is sweet because when you sell out, you get to make a lot of money, and when you have money, you don't have to hang out with a bunch of poor asses like you guys. Screw you guys, I'm going home.
Cartman: The poor kid passes it to the Jew, the Jew shoots. He misses! Proving once and for all that Jews cannot play hockey!
Kyle: Shut up Cartman! Your body is bigger than the goal!
Cartman: No, I just have a sweet hockey body.
Cartman: Only three more hours, sea people. Only three more hours and you can take me away from this crappy goddamn planet full of hippies.
Cartman: Kyle, I swear to God, if I didn't have a guy's hand up my butt right now, I would leap across the room and kick you in the nuts.
Stan: Hey, do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Cartman: What is that like finding Jesus or something?
Cartman: Dude, I'd be scared too. Your mom's a f*cking bitch.
Kyle: Don't call my mom a bitch - you fat f*ck.
Cartman: Don't call me fat you butt-fucking son of a bitch
Cartman: I used to think disabled people were here for my amusement.
Chief Running Water: Your mother is what we Indians call, 'Bear With Wide Canyon.'
Cartman: What do you mean?
CRW: She is 'Doe Who Cannot Keep Legs Together.'
CRW: Your mom's a slut.
Cartman: Naw dude, Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding.
Cartman: Now stop wasting Mel Gibson's time, you little pussy prick.
Stan: Don't take that tone with me, kid. I'll kick your ass.
Cartman: Yah. Well, I'd like to see you try. I'm, like, 6 feet tall.
Stan: Yah. Well, you sound like a little bitch to me.
Cartman: Bitch! Don't call me bitch, bitch!
Stan: Bring it on then, bitch!
Cartman: I already brung it, bitch. I brung it, opened it, and set it on the table, bitch.
Cartman: Well, I've been lickin' this carpet for 3 whole hours and I don't feel like a lesbian.
Cartman: Why is it that everything today has to do with things either going in or coming out of my ass?
Cartman: Shut up - you f*cking jew!!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the 'f word?'
Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.
Cartman: Handle it? For two billion dollars I could handle my Grandpa's balls dude.
Cartman: Damn, sh*t, respect my f*ckin' authority!
Sadaam Hussein: Ahhh!
Cartman: Yes (zaps him)!
Sadaam Hussein: Hey, you need to watch your mouth, brat!
Cartman: Dog sh*t Taco (Zaps him again)!
Sadaam Hussein: Quick Satan, do something!
Cartman: Try this on for size. Blood-drenched, frozen tampon popsicle!
Sadaam Hussein: Hey buddy, I know I was mean before, but don't worry, I can change!
Not. f*ck, sh*t, cock, ass, dildo, boner, bitch, pussy, butthole, Barbara Streisand!
Chef: Children, uh, what's the one thing that's more sacred to a man than anything else in the world?
Stan: Uh, bicycles?
Kyle: No, not ham, you fat f*ck!
Cartman: Screw you! It's ham, isn't it?
Officer Barbrady: You can't just lock 63 people in your basement.
Cartman: They're not people, they're hippies!
Cartman: Hippies.They're everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.
Mr. Garrison: Who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early '60's?
Cartman: A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods.
Mr. Garrison: Right. But who was the fattest, oldest skank on her period?
Cartman: You know the feeling when the huge dump you just took shoots back up your ass?
Stan: The note (from Wendy) says to meet her at Stark's Pond after school.
Kyle: Whoa, maybe you can kiss her.
Cartman: Or slip a little tongue.
Kenny: [mumbles] Or slide a finger up her pussy.
Kyle: I didn't know she had a cat.
Cartman: Well, I looked in my mom's closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000.
Cartman: You so much as TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants.
Stan: Jesus, Cartman.
Cartman: Well, I'm just sayn', man, seriously, don't mess with kitty, man.
Cartman: Mom--Kitty is being a dildo.
Mrs. Cartman: Well, I know a little kitty who is sleeping with Mommy tonight.
chocksondick: "concentration is the key to succeeding in my class"
cartman: "maybe we should send him to concentration camp, OH!"
Frank Hammond: Oh no, I haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant.
Frank Hammond: Oh my! I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938!
Kyle: [voicing Jennifer Lopez] No, no, please! This time I swear I won't make albums or movies.
Stan: That's what you said last time, but obviously we must now resort to more drastic measures. [uses magnifying glass to burn the doll]
Kyle: [voicing Jennifer Lopez] Oh God it burns! It bur-burns!
Stan: Scream for me, bitch!
I Iearned something today, and it's that America is our home team, and if you don't want to root for the home team then get the hell out of the stadium.
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