What Are Your Favorite South Park Quotes?

[JerWu17]

I have a lot of quotes that I like, but only 1 has the distinction of making me laugh so hard that I choked on my own spit:

Uriel: No! There is another. A Japanese boy did make it to Level 59.
Michael: Are you stupid Uriel? Japanese people don't have souls!

-Best Friends Forever

[203177]

"you know that feeling when you crap you just took goes back inside your ass NO I'M NOT ALRIGHT!"

"there's no sand in my vagina!"

"hey don't make fun of my diabetes!"

"dad i was just messing around."

"i assure you i am not high."

"i promise you, i'm not going to ruin your plan, i'll just walk away."

"yep, if i had wheels, id be a wagon."

[Spinneh]

Stan : "Why would God let Kenny die, Chef? Why? Kenny's my friend. Why can't God take someone else's friend?"

Chef : "Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God, Stan. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand?"

Stan : "But then, why does God give us anything to start with?"

Chef : "Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then you would have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power."

[Ex1lepr0]

"Fools, who do you think was the one person who bet on Jesus? Me!! Now I get to take all your hard-earned money!"-Satan
"Am I the last sane person on Earth?"-Mr. Garrison's dad
"I'm not just certain. I'm HIV positive"-Cartman
"Bible, Wrath of Khan, What's the difference?"-Stan
"Two Daddies! Two Daddies!"-Mr. Garrison
"But it's me Satan, Steve Irwin"-Steve Irwin
"Wow, that's a pretty good trick"-Tweek
"God Damn Mongorians! Stop trying to break down my city wall!"

[203177]

"f*cking yatzee again, seriously?"

"f*ck off dad."

'move it profile!"

"ignore."

"i'll show them f*cking obscene!"

"we got a turd in the punch bowl."

[bigirish777]

Cartman: "Token, go get your bass guitar!"
Token: "I don't have a bass guitar."
Cartman: "Token, your family is black! You have to have a bass guitar!"

*shows up with bass*

Token: "Turns out we did have a bass guitar"
Cartman: "I told you Token, now give me a smooth bass line."
Token: "Cartman, I can't play bass."
Cartman: "Token, you're black. YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY BASS!"

*Token busts out a badass bass line*

Token: "Ah dammit"

[goodcfella]

Towelie- Oh yea well you're all a bunch of towels.

Towelie- Hey does anyone wanna have sex with a towel?

Canadians - I'm not your guy buddy, I'm not your buddy friend...

Mr. Garrison - I'mma go get me some Pune Tang

Tweek's Dad - Here calm down Tweek... Have some coffee.

The Situation - You don't understand, its a Jersey thing!

Mr Wok - Everybody wants to tear down my schitty woll!

Mr Marsh - Stan... Sttttaaaaaaaan... Daddy's dying. Get me a beer.

Too many funny ass quotes to remember. Matt and Trey have a way with words!

[203177]

"were super heros! not the f*cking girl scouts!"

"ashooollllles!"

"she f*cked me on my brithday, she f*cked me on xmas!"

"your a lawfin?"

"cartman your hear by declared a full fledged retard."

"f*ck you fatass you guys are assh*les."

"well at least we have assh*les your dumb girl."

[SouthPark4Eva32]

You can't make a gay dog do straight tricks-Chef

Screw you guys-Cartman

Snooki want smush smush- snooki

Turds-Shelly

OMG you killed kenny-Stan

You asturd-kyle

Dang you mongolians!-City wok guy

I fuking hate you jimmy-nathan

I have to be poor has you kenny-cartman

Thats the 3rd strike kyle. Your a ginger, a jew and a jersey-cartman

[darkalexxx]

You go to hell! You go to hell and die! - Mr. Garrison

Holy f*ck Dude - Cartman

We have no choice, Butters! We have to lock you away so even I can't find you. - Cartman
Where? - Butters
Look, there's an old refrigerator! - Cartman

Look, mr. Dog, it's another survivor! And it's a lady! That means we can repopulate the entire earth! Yippie!

[KingHaysey]

Jesus christ monkey balls - Randy Marsh

But mummmmmmmmmmm - Cartman

Oh Hamburgers! - Butters

Just gunna get a little bit of cancer Stan - Randy Marsh

Thats it! thats the melody to funky town - Towelie

Don't forget to bring a towel - Towelie

I suffer from alcoholism. Its pretty bad - Randy Marsh

[203177]

"i just startled myself."

"im sooo startled!"

"giniea pirate!"

"uh you guys are dumb."

[Heils1578]

I would have to say that the newest episode, everything Cartman said was really funny! Poor Kyle having to get a mouthful of fart in his mouth though!

[broseph_lala]

Cartman: Can you at least take me to a grease monkey so I can at least get lubed up before you f**k me. Or at at least a little courtesy lick. How about a little courtesy lick next time you try to f**k me?

Cartman: Can I at least borrow some of your lipstick mom? Because I at least want to look pretty the next time you f**k me.

[RabuPep]

"I'm not just sure---I'm HIV positive." -Cartman
"Where is my homework?! I am fre-aking ouu~~~t!" -Clyde
"SHABLAGOO!" -Bradley
"MINT BERRY CRRRUNCH!" -Bradley
"Right-o." -Pip
"Aw, hamburgers!" -Butters
"Goddamit Kevin." -Cartman
"RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAIII!" -Cartman
"JESUS CHRIST!" -Tweek
"GAH!" -Tweek
"Maybe they're planning to kill us!!" -Tweek
"You, sir, mocked Cartman before, but now here you are seeking amswers! Now, damn you, let him speak!" -Clyde
"*insert muffled profanity*" -Kenny

And then the one instance in Guitar Queer-O:
Kyle: I don't need you anymore.
Stan: I know... I need you.

And in Follow That Egg:
Kyle: Stan, do you really think my hat is stupid?
Stan: As a matter of fact, it is the nicest hat that I have ever known.

Also, in Cartman Sucks:
Bradley: Butters...I... I think I like you!
Butters: Well, I like you, too, Bradley!
Bradley: You like like me?!
Butters: Well, sure! I like like you a lot lot! *laughs*

Tonsil Trouble:
Guy: --These two friends--
Kyle: We are NOT friends.
Guy: ... These two LOVERS...
I have lots of favorites, and I'm sure I didn't even remember them all. xD