Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...SeaMan

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praiseSeaman
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Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:24 pm

Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...SeaMan

Postby praiseSeaman » Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:03 am

I'm sick and tired of people making fun of my prophet...the one True deity.

And it's SeaMan...not Semen! All praise be upon him. Ass slalom ilick'em

(and if you don't respect and beware all those who 'believe' in my Bronze Age retarded, worn out, irrelevant myth...watch out because although my prophet SeaMan can't actually do anything himself...all us nut-jobs who 'believe' in him are willing to do the dirty work for him. We're not unique that way, look into history to see that there have always been religious nuts like us across all the religions. And NO it doesn't matter to us that it's now the 21'st Century and we know how the world really works, how belief systems are in the brain...not supernatural, and that science has answered what we used to attribute to the gods...or Gods. None of our society's present day intelligence matters, because I and others believe in the one True deity...SeaMan. All praise be upon him. Ass slalom ilick'em)
praiseSeaman
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:24 pm

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby praiseSeaman » Sat Apr 17, 2010 1:36 am

...and don't forget SeaMan's partner Swallow, part of the holy trinity, he's fluttering around everywhere, seeing everything...kinda like a ghost...a holy ghost.

SeaMan and Swallow. Praise be upon them. Ass slalom ilick'em
praiseSeaman
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:24 pm

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby praiseSeaman » Sat Apr 17, 2010 2:05 am

CONVERT NOW!!!

Those who wish to learn more about the SeaMan faith can buy my books, attend my weekly services, pay a 10% income tithe...but it's totally worth it because ONLY with the SeaMan faith can we guarantee you everlasting life, escape from the tortuous depths of "hell-ocean", and assure you eternal happiness and peace. Don't you want to be on the right side? Can you risk NOT knowing SeaMan as your own personal savior?

Join the one True faith, and as always, praise SeaMan. All praise be upon him. Ass slalom ilick'em
Last edited by praiseSeaman on Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Niels0827
Posts: 4302
Joined: Sat Jul 03, 2004 5:51 am

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby Niels0827 » Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:01 am

Tell you what, friend...

I'll convert to the SeaMan faith if you convert to Offlineism. To learn more and get started, press Alt+F4 now. :)
praiseSeaman
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:24 pm

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby praiseSeaman » Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:38 am

SeaMan forgives the skeptics and the sarcastic...but you'll still rot in 'hell-ocean' unless you accept him into your heart as the one and only...The Way, The Truth, The Sea-Life.

SeaMan: all praise be upon him. Ass slalom ilick'em
ShaneHaughey
Posts: 11192
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2004 8:36 pm

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby ShaneHaughey » Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:43 am

Or you can join Marshism!
We have puppies and we kill the f*ck out of our enemies.
For the Holy Marsh! Death to the Vile Lard!
That's how it's down here on the farm!
praiseSeaman
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:24 pm

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby praiseSeaman » Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:53 am

ShaneHaughey wrote:Or you can join Marshism!
We have puppies and we kill the f*ck out of our enemies.
For the Holy Marsh! Death to the Vile Lard!



Hahahah, silly Marshists, they're the first to end up in 'hell-ocean'! Turn from your sinful ways and recognize the True prophet. SeaMan. All praise be upon him. Ass slalom ilick'em
zzyzx 1
Posts: 4887
Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:20 am

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby zzyzx 1 » Sat Apr 17, 2010 4:14 am

Why does your one True deity allow me to take fish from his ocean and swim in his seas? Answer: Because he knows that my deity is stronger than your deity and I am commanded by my deity to fish and swim :mrgreen:
Wii fit man
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Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:10 pm

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby Wii fit man » Sat Apr 17, 2010 4:27 am

I believe it is "semen".
effses: Austin confirmed for turbo homosexual
Niels0827
Posts: 4302
Joined: Sat Jul 03, 2004 5:51 am

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby Niels0827 » Sat Apr 17, 2010 4:30 am

Wii fit man wrote:I believe it is "semen".


No?
It's an obvious play on the character of the Super Best Friends.
ShaneHaughey
Posts: 11192
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2004 8:36 pm

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby ShaneHaughey » Sat Apr 17, 2010 4:32 am

Niels0827 wrote:
Wii fit man wrote:I believe it is "semen".


No?
It's an obvious play on the character of the Super Best Friends.

And WFM's post was in the same vein.
That's how it's down here on the farm!
praiseSeaman
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:24 pm

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby praiseSeaman » Sat Apr 17, 2010 5:08 am

zzyzx 1 wrote:Why does your one True deity allow me to take fish from his ocean and swim in his seas? :mrgreen:


Simple my child, it is BECAUSE the fish even exist in their own perfect divine form, and because the oceans are perfect unchanging masterpieces...this is all the more evidence of the True Creator and Intelligent Designer. His benevolence allows you to fish and swim in his creations. If he didn't allow these things you couldn't penetrate the water with your bodies, your fishing lines, or your nets. That's how great our God is!!! Praise the prophet SeaMan for showing us The Way and helping us de-bunk all other religions, science, evolution and human intelligence. All praise be upon him. Ass slalom ilick'em
praiseSeaman
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:24 pm

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby praiseSeaman » Sat Apr 17, 2010 5:17 am

Wii fit man wrote:I believe it is "semen".


And it's SeaMan, not SEMEN!!! Pray to Swallow and you'll know the truth! (you blasphemous heathens)

(And yes, I also counsel all our followers to pray to Swallow, SeaMan is coming!)

All praise be upon him. Ass slalom ilick'em
zzyzx 1
Posts: 4887
Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:20 am

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby zzyzx 1 » Sat Apr 17, 2010 5:52 am

praiseSeaman wrote:
zzyzx 1 wrote:Why does your one True deity allow me to take fish from his ocean and swim in his seas? :mrgreen:


Simple my child, it is BECAUSE the fish even exist in their own perfect divine form, and because the oceans are perfect unchanging masterpieces...this is all the more evidence of the True Creator and Intelligent Designer. His benevolence allows you to fish and swim in his creations. If he didn't allow these things you couldn't penetrate the water with your bodies, your fishing lines, or your nets. That's how great our God is!!! Praise the prophet SeaMan for showing us The Way and helping us de-bunk all other religions, science, evolution and human intelligence. All praise be upon him. Ass slalom ilick'em


One day I was swimming in your deity's ocean, and it was bright and sunny out so I had my sunglasses on. Your deity sent a big wave over my head, and your deity took my sunglasses away. Why did he do that? Does your deity not have a way to get his own sunglasses, or is he a thief and needed to steal mine? Or did he take my sunglasses to give to some fish to wear? What gives your deity the right to take my sunglasses?
praiseSeaman
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:24 pm

Re: Stop making fun of my prophet...the one True deity...Sea

Postby praiseSeaman » Sat Apr 17, 2010 6:03 am

zzyzx 1 wrote:
One day I was swimming in your deity's ocean, and it was bright and sunny out so I had my sunglasses on. Your deity sent a big wave over my head, and your deity took my sunglasses away. Why did he do that? Does your deity not have a way to get his own sunglasses, or is he a thief and needed to steal mine? Or did he take my sunglasses to give to some fish to wear? What gives your deity the right to take my sunglasses?



The deity works in strange and mysterious ways. Don't question his wisdom or motives. And don't weep for your sunglasses. Maybe they are waiting for you when you come home to Him.

Pray to Swallow, SeaMan is coming!

All praise be upon him. Ass slalom ilick'em

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