How Should Each Character Die?

[BigGuy101]

I wouldn't normally do this, but here I go. I ask you this. How should each South Park character die, your opinion?

Deaths I can think of so far:
Cartman = Type 2 Diabetes
Butters = AIDS; married a hot Swedish wife
Stan = Asthma Attack
Kyle = ???
Kenny = N/A
Wendy = Breast Cancer
Bebe = ???
Craig = ???
Token = ???
Clyde = ???
Timmy = ???
Jimmy = ???

[Ex1lepr0]

Stan-Asthma attack while out surfing
Kyle-Problems relating to his "borrowed" kidney
Cartman-Killed by a gang of black people on the streets of NYC
Kenny-When his mother dies
Wendy-Old age
Butters-Also of old age (he's the one I can most picture growing up to become successful out of the group)

[BRMBug]

Cartman = Type 2 Diabetes
Butters = AIDS; married a hot Swedish wife
Stan = Asthma Attack
Kyle = ???
Kenny = N/A
Wendy = ???

Cartman: Massive heart attack at 28.
Butters: Swimming with sharks on his 53rd birthday. Oddly enough he drowns.
Stan: Old age. I mean look at Grandpa Marvin. He's like 1000.
Kyle: Pops an aneurism while making a Mr. Hankey in his 60s.
Kenny: Becomes a window washer, his harness fails, and he falls off a building. This of course being years after his mom dies.
Wendy: Vageene cancer at 53. ...uhmm...

[BigGuy101]

Cartman = Type 2 Diabetes
Butters = AIDS; married a hot Swedish wife
Stan = Asthma Attack
Kyle = ???
Kenny = N/A
Wendy = ???

Cartman: Massive heart attack at 28.
Butters: Swimming with sharks on his 53rd birthday. Oddly enough he drowns.
Stan: Old age. I mean look at Grandpa Marvin. He's like 1000.
Kyle: Pops an aneurism while making a Mr. Hankey in his 60s.
Kenny: Becomes a window washer, his harness fails, and he falls off a building. This of course being years after his mom dies.
Wendy: Vageene cancer at 53. ...uhmm...

Are you forgetting that Kenny can't die. When the universe implodes upon itself, he'll still around.

[Ex1lepr0]

Cartman = Type 2 Diabetes
Butters = AIDS; married a hot Swedish wife
Stan = Asthma Attack
Kyle = ???
Kenny = N/A
Wendy = ???

Cartman: Massive heart attack at 28.
Butters: Swimming with sharks on his 53rd birthday. Oddly enough he drowns.
Stan: Old age. I mean look at Grandpa Marvin. He's like 1000.
Kyle: Pops an aneurism while making a Mr. Hankey in his 60s.
Kenny: Becomes a window washer, his harness fails, and he falls off a building. This of course being years after his mom dies.
Wendy: Vageene cancer at 53. ...uhmm...

Are you forgetting that Kenny can't die. When the universe implodes upon itself, he'll still around.

Don't forget that the reason he keeps coming back is because his mother keeps giving birth to him. Once she's dead, he's dead.

[mrgrayfish115]

Eric T. Cartman: A Jew shoots him.
Stanley Marsh: Takes a bullet for Wendy.
Kyle Broflovski: Cartman shoots him.
Kenneth J. McCormick: Saving his friends lives somehow.
Jimmy Valmer: Timmy accidently runs him over.
Timmy: Chokes, can't make any noise other than TIMMY!
Leapold "Butters" Scotch: Syphilis, other STD.
Wendy Testaburger: Suicide after Stan's death.
Token Black: KKK riot.
Tweek Tweak: Overdose of cocaine and methamphetamine.
Clyde Donovan: Suicide after parents death (he used to always cry)
Craig Tucker: Beaten to death by his dad.
Terrence Mephisto (Genetic Engineer's Son): Toxic Spill
Bebe Stevens: Suicide after Kyle's death.
Bradly Biggle: Killed in a Cthulu rematch.

I think that's all the named 4th graders, and I'm not gonna do every character.

[ramenbum]

lol

[southparkgirl19]

Stan: old age, everyone in his family apparently lives for a long time
Kyle: old age, i can't picture stan without kyle, they will die the same day
Kenny: i think it would be ironic if he also died of old age. (after his mother is dead of course)
Cartman: either a heart attack or a gang of Jews beat him to death.
Randy: over dose or drunk driving accident
Tweek: over dose

[The Silver Banana]

The goth kids: Old age... at ages ranging from 63 to 71.

[Gnomesane]

Token- Shot 12 times by police for DWB on his way home from grad school. "He was reaching for his waistband" says officer.
Butters- Killed trying to impress a girl by freeing a caged tiger after joining PETA in college
Stan- Lives to be 97 and becomes a successful TV host on a show that mocks the evening news.
Kenny- Can't die, goes insane after 433rd suicide attempt
Kyle- Dies of an inflamed urethra at 46
Cartman- Lives an outwardly successful life as a political adviser but is plagued by secret alcoholism & RX drug abuse; often travels out of the country to 'counsel' supple young boys. Dies from a combination of sleep apnea, poor circulation and heart disease.

On the show?

They should 're-run' the first episode, with the characters aware that they've done this before (again), then have the entire town nuked by the government to keep the Visitors secret.

[Samathou]

Stan: Gets knocked out
Kyle: Gets knocked out
Kenny: Gets knocked out (then ressurected after finding another woman to annoy to birth)
Cartman: Gets knocked out
Bebe: Gets knocked out
Wendy: Gets knocked out
Randy: Gets knocked out
Sharon: Gets knocked out
Gerald: Gets knocked out
Shelly: Gets knocked out
Sheila: Gets knocked out
Pip: Gets knocked out
Craig: Gets knocked out
Tweek: Gets knocked out
Other people: Get knocked out

[RichardV1150]

While your theories are all well and good, I would like to predict their deaths as of this moment in South Park history.

Eric: Chocking on wings at Raisins because all the girls there are too stupid to know something like the heimlich maneuver.

Kenny: He wouldn't die now unless his mother died of an untimely death, he would die randomly.

Stan: Suicide from the realization that he is alone in the world and everything is now sh*t because all his friends have now left him and his parents are divorced.

Kyle: If his kidney were to fail he would die a painful death with no new transplant.