Family Guy quotes

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goddamit
Posts: 128
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 10:00 pm

Postby goddamit » Sun Oct 02, 2005 3:18 am

treefiddy_350 wrote:EDIT: Here are some clips you will enjoy (click below)
take on me parody
Dan Rather
Bad coupon, you must already what this is.
part 2
Theres more but I'll post'em later.
[img]http://www.punkasspunk.com/videolog/20050308/Family_Guy_%5BFamily_Guy_Viewer_Mail_1%5D_(2002)_5.jpg[/img]



Thanks there,heres a quote from the dan rather one

(Stewie on couch watching tv)
Dan Rather:Good evening im Dan Rather,and tonight on SSSBS newss ss s Ssseven SSSSaudi Sssoldiers SSSodimized Sseveral of Ssadams SSSSouthern Sssettlements Sssquatters sss SSSSSSS(hissing sound continues as steam blows out his right ear,producer picks him up and sits him down on another chair)
I'm Dan Rather
proud member of Cartman's Army:respect our ATHORITAH!
member of the stan society
goddamit
Posts: 128
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 10:00 pm

Postby goddamit » Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:01 am

Announcer:Live is Channel 5 action News,with Tom Tucker,Diaine Simmons,and black-you-weather meteorologist,Ollie Williams.
Tom:Good evening im Tom Tucker.
Diaine:And im Diaine Simmons
Tom:Could we talk about something besides yourself Diaine?
Diaine:excuse me?
Tom:Great.
Diaine:meanwhile,authorities act in on a tip,search the masrhlands near the fox point hurricane barrier for what they believe to be the remains of reputed mobster Big Fat Paulie.The authorities were disappointed to find not the remains of Big Fat Paulie,instead the remains of the day a boring merchant ivory film starring Sir Anthony Hopkins.
Tom:Hmm,funny how they could have confused that.Coming up,why your next trip to a salad bar might be your last.But first,asian reporter Trisha Takanowa(cant spell)is live at the red carpet.
Trisha:Tom,tonight the stars are out,for a speical sneak preview for a striaght to dvd feature that will soon be in the $3.99 bin at your local car wash.And here comes two family guy guest stars,Drew Barrymore and her date.
Pressman1:Hey Koolaid!
Koolaid:OHHH YEAA
Pressman1:THings going well with Drew?
Koolaid:OHHH YEAA
Drew:We have so much fun,and he keeps my tounge really red(shows tounge)see?
Cleveland:hey thank ya'll for coming out,dont forget to check out my clothesline CCBrown,available at many retail outlets,got ya'll in here.
Trisha:And here are the stars of tonights show,the Griffin FAmily.
Brian:whoa whats this a party?hehe,howd yall get in my room?Hi im Brian.
Chris:Um,i rode backwards in the limo so actually my underwear is going the right way hahaha.
Presswoman1:Stewie Stewie good to have you back!
Stewie:Good to be back!especially after brief florid into politics didnt work out.(Saddam type Stewie statue knocked down by iraqies.U.S. troops find Stewie in his own Saddam-like spiderhole.)
Politicain:Ladies and gentelemen,we got em.
Crowd:YAY!
Pressmen2:Stewie im from tv guide!hows it fell like to be the youngest actor in hollywood?
Stewie:well it feels like about seven figures a year which feels pretty good.
Presswoman:Stewie,Stewie,im from the L.A. times,can you tell us are you working on any new projects?
Stewie:Well yes i jsut did an episode of accoring to Jim,im the comic relief.
Pressman3:Stewie,do you have any idea if FOX has plans to bring back futurama?
Stewie:What magazine are you from?
Pressman3:Entertiantment Weekly.
Stewie:(jumps up and cracks his neck)
Lois:(falls on floor)lucky theres a family guy,HEEHEYYYY everybody!
Peter:Im sorry im so sorry there was booze in the carI'm(cut off by lois)
Lois:Hahaha,WEEEEE!
Peter:Oh god Lois,for christs sake take it easy.
Lois:When i heard,when i heard that we were gonna be in a movie i was like f*ck YEA!
Peter:Alright ok ya know what lets just try and walk stright here huh?just ju....
(lois falls down)
Peter:Lois get up oh god Lois!
Lois:GET ON!!
Peter:Cmon Lois get up!im not gonna get on.Im not ge-g- L-L-Lois im,you get up.
Lois:Peter..
Peter:what?
Lois:geeet on.
Peter:Son of a bitch.IM REALLY SORRY EVERYBODY
(Lois pukes)
Peter:UH OH,alright oh god ya know what lets get inside cmon cmon.
proud member of Cartman's Army:respect our ATHORITAH!
member of the stan society
triplemultiplex
Posts: 6124
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:24 am

Postby triplemultiplex » Tue Oct 04, 2005 5:35 pm

Stewie: "I know you're not putting that rock up from here. You ain't got no J.
(stewie trips the opposing player)

Other player: "Yo man, that's trippin'!"

Stewie: "Brother please, you're the one who's trippin'! Go on, cry home to yo mama, she waitin' for ya!"

Other player: "Now don't make me put my size 13's up yo nary ass!"

Stewie: "I don't sweat! You bring it on, bitch! Now how ya gonna act?"
(opposing player walks away)

Stewie: "Pssh, bring that trash in here. This is my house!"
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triplemultiplex
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Postby triplemultiplex » Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:27 am

Not gonna let this one die just yet; BUMP.

Peter finds a bible in the nightstand at a hotel:
"Hey Lois, look at me; I'm a Christian!"

--

Stewie: "You know Lois, this might almost pass as a servicable banana pudding, but without cinnamon, it's just another one of your wretched cullinary abortions! (he throws it to the ground) Now clean it up!!"

(it might've been something other than cinnamon, but I can't remember it right now)
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IneedBoutTREEFIDDY
Posts: 3384
Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 6:55 pm

Postby IneedBoutTREEFIDDY » Tue Oct 11, 2005 1:20 am

Peter:"Where in the bible does it say that a man can't jack off in the privacy of his neighbor's den while his neighbor is at work because I don't own a DVD player? Well, I don't know where it says it because the bible is way too long to read."
Setting the standard since 1852
AngusMcTavish
Posts: 8959
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 6:52 am

Postby AngusMcTavish » Tue Oct 11, 2005 5:13 am

Peter, upon discovering Joe's handicap: Holy crip, he's a crapple!
triplemultiplex
Posts: 6124
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:24 am

Postby triplemultiplex » Tue Oct 11, 2005 3:16 pm

IneedBoutTREEFIDDY wrote:Peter:"Where in the bible does it say that a man can't jack off in the privacy of his neighbor's den while his neighbor is at work because I don't own a DVD player? Well, I don't know where it says it because the bible is way too long to read."


I believe Peter referred to jacking off as "firing off a few knuckle children". Much funnier.
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IneedBoutTREEFIDDY
Posts: 3384
Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 6:55 pm

Postby IneedBoutTREEFIDDY » Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:30 pm

^that's what I thought but I wasn't sure exactly what he said, so I just put jack off(that's what he meant anyway)
Setting the standard since 1852
triplemultiplex
Posts: 6124
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:24 am

Postby triplemultiplex » Sun Oct 16, 2005 12:26 am

Brian recounts his experiences in the Peace Corp.:
"This one time we got so baked, we wound up eating all the food the World Health Organization airlifted in. Man, those villagers were so pissed! They tried to chase us, but lemme just say, thank God for polio."

--

Villager: "Oh my, Chris, we can see your genitals!"

Chris: "Ahh!"

Villagers laugh, "Just kidding, everyone's genitals are hanging out."
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IneedBoutTREEFIDDY
Posts: 3384
Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 6:55 pm

Postby IneedBoutTREEFIDDY » Sun Oct 16, 2005 5:48 pm

Peter:"but I don't think we've ever had a volcano."

Salesman:well, don't you think we're over do for one"

Peter:"Touche, salesman"
Setting the standard since 1852
vexille
Posts: 641
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:23 pm

Postby vexille » Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:15 pm

"I'm not drunk, I've just got a speech impediment. (vomits) And a stomach virus. (Falls off barstool) And an inner ear infection".
Image
Calix Meus Enebriens "My Cup Makes Me Drunk"
rabidpenguin
Posts: 97
Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2005 9:35 pm

Postby rabidpenguin » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:26 pm

Lois:I love you
Peter:And I love you Lou Gossett Jr.
missycartman
Posts: 7287
Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2003 1:06 am

Postby missycartman » Fri Oct 21, 2005 12:30 pm

British fans will be pleased to know that Family Guy & American Dad starts tomorrow on BBC2 starting from 10pm

They're showing Family Guy ~The Thin White Line :D


Lois: So how was your day?
Brian: My day? Un-freakin' believable. First we nailed this bastard who had the gall to hide his stuff in his daughter's doll--HER DOLL for God's sake! Where's the line anymore? Well, I got news for ya, it's not even on the radar screen! The days of decency and virtue are gone, honey, BAM, freakin' evaporated like a dingy stinkin' mudpuddle. One day you see your reflection in it and the next day it's a, it's a damn oil spot on your cracked driveway, staring back at you, mocking you, knowing the perverted truths that rot in the pit of your soul. That's how my freakin' day was!
bartman1089
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:51 am

Postby bartman1089 » Sun Oct 23, 2005 2:29 am

Luke Perry With Peter Griffin
Nipple Orange Juice
BEST SCENE EVER!!![/img][/code]
>There's a message in my alpha-bits. It says ooooo!
>Those are cheerios.
triplemultiplex
Posts: 6124
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:24 am

Postby triplemultiplex » Sun Oct 23, 2005 4:16 pm

Peter: "Oh, pardon me for thinking a microphone stand at a comedy club should tell a joke or two. I guess I'm just old fashioned that way."

Later on...
"If there was a stupid and ugly contest, you guys would all win. ...Or lose, which ever's funnier."
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