Family Guy quotes

[triplemultiplex]

Brian: I hate to say I told you so but...Yeeeaaaah, in you f*cken face mother f*cker! I'm, I'm sorry about that.

I thought that's what it was too, but the second curse isn't censored on the DVD or when they play it on Adult Swim. Brian says, "In your f*ckin' face, dickwad!"

[aristottlesdeathwish]

Stewy: Look at this Fatty! I bet you cant even find your penis can you fatty!?

[Cartman_91]

Peter: You know what I haven't had in awhile? Big League Chew

[Rualya]

Quagmire: So what happened to you? Where you in an accident or something?

Seamen (he has wood pegs for arms and legs) : No, me father was a tree.

[Rualya]

Lois: Com on Stewie, here come's the plan.

Stewie: Damn you, damn the broccoli, and...

*hits broccoli away*

Stewie:... and damn the Wright Brothers!

[Cartman_91]

Brian: Quagmire isn't there an o in country?

Quagmire: Nope

Stewie: So can we go in your Winnabego

Quagmire: You mean wanna bang yo

[x[L*Kay]x]

I refuse to check the rest of the thread so:
Stewie-
Lois
Lois
Lois
Lois
Lois
Mom
Mom
Mom
Mom
Mommy
Mommy
Mommy
Momma
Momma
Momma
Ma
Ma
Ma
Ma
Mum
Mum
Mum
Mummy
Mummy
Mumma
Mumma
Mumma
Mumma
Lois-
WHAT?!
Stewie-
Hi. *Giggles*


That is so my ringtone. Will add more quote later, I bought a poster from Woolworths today, it is so darn sweet.

[triplemultiplex]

Anna rules!
'because I kick all the bad guys in their jewels!
Anna won.
Thanks to my gamma ray atomic gun.

Dance and shout,
he's the world's greatest ninja
there's no doubt.

Though they tried to defeat me,
they can all just freakin' eat me.
'because he blew all of us away!

In the planet of Siam
there's no one as tough as I am
just as surely as Paul Lind was gay!

[vexille]

"Heh heh. Yes. Die die die. I have everything. And you have nothing...." Peter Griffin gleefully observing gladiatorial combat between a couple of mice.



Police Officer: Excuse me sir, I'm trying to locate a possessed child. Have you seen anyone who looks like this?

Peter: Yeah. Thats my son. He's actually in the Mini-Mart right now. He'll be out any second.
[Lois nudges him angrily]
Eh-eh... I mean no. No I haven't seen him before.

Officer (suspiciously): Hmm. What was the last thing you said?

Peter: I'm saying that baby in the picture is my son. He's traveling with family, so as to avoid being caught by police like you. [Lois slaps him frustratedly again]

Peter: Eh-eh I mean I was reminding you what a nice tie you have on.

Officer: I...love this tie [looks pleased with himself]. Alright, you folks take care now [walks off].

[AngusMcTavish]

Peter: All right, here's a little tune inspired by one of the great legends of the Old West. (plays guitar)

Well, there once were two cowboys
All alone out on the trail,
And they discovered
They could sleep with another male.
Now they're having gay sex.
Cowboy gay sex.
Sodomay-hee...
(Come on, everybody!)
Sodomay-hee...
Sodomay-hee...!

(Sodomy.)

Note: Adult Swim replaces "gay" with "butt," as I found out last night.

[triplemultiplex]

^^

Yeah you gotta watch the Adult Swim repeats because they keep things in that FOX makes 'em take out. Which is how they'll be on the DVD.

[BRMBug]

I saw the picture, remembered the episode, and just couldn't help myself.

[calligraphy]

STEWIE: We haven't had sex.
GIRLFRIEND: SEX? How can you say that? Do you even know what sex IS?!
STEWIE: That's off the subject -- um -- a... a type of cake?

LIL' PETER: Now make like a siamese twin and split. And... then one of you die.

[triplemultiplex]

Here's a FOX deleted scene from "Meet the Quagmires":

(a guy is trying to pick a fight with Brian in 1984)

80's guy: "Alright, name the time and place!"

Brian: "Okay. Top of the World Trade Center, 8 am, September 11th, 2001."

80's guy: "Okay, your on! You think I'll forget, but I won't!"

[Blue Twilight]

(Brian has just taught Stewie how to ballroom dance.)
Stewie: I love you!
Brian: O.O WHAT?
Stewie: Uh... uh... olive juice.
Brian: Olive juice?
Stewie (whispering): Olive juice you, too!

Cracks me up every time.