Family Guy quotes

[sunfl0wer]

Man to host: Can I say hi to my friend?
Host: Uh, sure.
Man: Hey Jesus!
*Jesus watching tv*
Jesus: No way!
*phone rings*
Jesus: Hello. I know, I saw!

[marvel_freak_42]

Meg: Could you tell Chris to stop drawing me with a pig's body?

Chris: DON'T CENSOR ME!!!

[sunfl0wer]

Lois: You are going to Meg's play and that's that.
Peter: Is that that now, Mrs. That's-that?
Lois: If you're gonna shoot me you might wanna tie your shoe laces first.
Peter: (looks down)
Lois: (attacks Peter when he looks down) Now are you gonna go to Meg's play or not?!
Peter: Yeeees!
Lois: YOU LIKE EATING RED CARPET TOUGH GUY?!
Peter: Yeeee-heees!
Lois: SAY YOU LIKE EATING RED CARPET!
Peter: I like eating red carpet!
Quagmire: (outside, falls down) Giggity.

[stupidrandy]

Stewie talking to a old whore
Stewie- "So, how is it down there...?? Just like throwing hotdogs down a hallway, huh?

[AngusMcTavish]

^ Speaking of hot dogs, here's one of last night's quotes from Meg, going into her room with a full pack of franks:

"I'm going to pretend you are the New York Knicks."

+

[marvel_freak_42]

Brian: "'Quagmire's Cross Country Tour.' Isn't there an 'O' in 'country?"

Quagmire: "Nope."

[triplemultiplex]

^ Speaking of hot dogs, here's one of last night's quotes from Meg, going into her room with a full pack of franks:

"I'm going to pretend you are the New York Knicks."

Callback:
"Well, see you guys later. I gotta go buy hot dogs. We keep running out for some reason."

----

"Well, we hope you've enjoyed this look back at the first 100 episodes of Family Guy. Here's to the next 100. And hopefully we won't get canceled for two and half f*cking years in the middle again."

[AngusMcTavish]

Court scene, as Peter is found guilty:

Peter: Oh no!
Brian: Oh no!
Chris: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!
Kool-Aid Man (crashing thru wall): OH YEAAH!! (looks about, goes back thru hole)
Judge: Okay, would you all please stop saying "Oh no" in my courtroom? That f***ing Kool-Aid guy's just gonna keep coming back.

[marvel_freak_42]

Peter: Gays don't vomit. They're a very clean people. And they've been that way ever since they came to this country from France.

[sunfl0wer]

Peter: Yeah, uh, it's actually a pretty funny story, uh, true story. Uh, Brian and I walked into your house and, uh, she was with some guy going BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM...!

Brian: Uh, Peter, uh, maybe, uh...

Peter: Hang on, I'm not done. BAM-BAM-BAM! And then she's all, "Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!" BAM-BAM-BAM! You want to take it from here, Bamm-Bamm?

Bamm-Bamm: BAM-BAM, BAM-BAM-BAM! You want to take it from here, Emeril?

Emeril: BAM!

[marvel_freak_42]

Stewie: (waking up to watch Brian licking himself) Aah! What are you doing?

Brian: I'm cleaning myself.

Stewie: You were clean fifteen minutes ago, now you're just on vacation.

[AngusMcTavish]

Peter (to a Mafia Don): So what, you want me to whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? 'Cause I'm married.

[polymorph]

The only Family Guy quote that I even bother remembering.

Testicles... that is all

[BRMBug]

http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episode ... 1b09f30027

[AngusMcTavish]

Peter (on planning Stewie's birthday party): All I got is that big-ass pinata.

(we see the pinata, shaped like a human butt)

Brian: I hope candy comes out of that.

---------------------------------------------------

(God, at a bar, lights a woman's cigarette by pointing at it and casting a lightning bolt.)

Woman: Wow.

God: Maaaagic fingers...(points at her, another lightning bolt evaporates her!)

God: Jesus Christ!

Jesus (entering bar): Yeah?

God: Get in the Escalade; we're outta here! (they leave in a hurry)