The clique drama never ends, I tell you. It's so f*cking stupid. It's been getting worse and worse. I'm not sure if it started with her, but...I'll just call her Cuntface. Y'see, appearently, she's one of the most popular girls at school. She saw me hanging around one of her boys (who happens to be one of the closer friends of mine, I've known him since 3rd grade) and she told me off about a bunch of things and called me some insanely racist sh*t. Hey, it's not like he's going out with her or anything, and he was talking to me right then, not her. That bitch, doesn't she understand that my friend and I were in the middle of a conversation and that I have the right to talk to my friends? I had to hold back from punching her f*cking makeup-encased mug over and over; she's one of those assh*le sluts who cheats her way into NHS and everything else and gets along with the assh*le administrators extremely well. I hope she'll get AIDs and die a horrible death.
I think the anti-lolrus* sentiment is going aroud with the other girls in my grade. I found some really nasty sh*t scrawled across the restroom walls about me in Sharpie. What did I do to piss them all off? Is it the fact that I hardly talk to most of the girls in my grade? I'm not even going to bother reporting this vandalism- they won't do anything about it and I don't know who wrote it anyways. I mean, it's not the usual- [insert name here] sucks. It's stuff featuring my name, a bunch of swear words, and other things such as 'dirty chink' and 'runty emo skank'. I hope whoever was behind this crap gets nuked.
Worst of all, it's gonna leave a sh*tty reputation about me for years, even though I didn't do anything.
*Anti-lolrus: I'm just going by that here, I'm not allowed to say my name online.
Meh. The drama with my family has gone away, pretty much. I'm just stressed and insecure. I've put on even more weight (hence my hesitance to post my picture on that one thread, unless it was an older picture from before the past two months). I'm also chronically tired and bad tempered lately and people are telling me strange things about why I'm like that. My parents told me it could be leukemia; one of their friend's kids had chronic fatigue and it turned out to be leukemia and it's scaring the sh*t out of me, although my weariness is probably not because of that...
I've been spazzing out and I've just been weird lately. It's probably all the crap going on at school, but I'm not sure. Maybe I should get my tiredness checked out by the doctor again.
Yeah, sure. Blame it on the emo bitch girlfriend. It's not my fault or his fault. Like I've said earlier in some other thread, it's the way the teacher grades the blasted thing. She's insane. The last time I checked, the week after I helped him study, he got a better grade than usual on the test. I let him copy off my notecards. I practically got him the good scores on his homework, and this is the thanks I get?
Their stupid 'can't talk past 10 P.M.- ever' rule pisses the f*ck out of me, too. It's so stupid. My parents have their fair share of weird rules, granted, but this one takes the cake. How come they enforce it now and not when we started going out? We used to talk until the wee hours of the morning back then. My parents didn't (and still don't) care and neither should his.
= = =
I have a shitload of homework this weekend. Tch. I'm so pissed...I've got a College Trig test on Monday night, a Physics test first thing Tuesday morning, and an AP Gov test Tuesday afternoon that will make or break my grade. How the Hell am I supposed to study for all that, and finish up a whole research report and annotated bibliorgraphy?
= = =
Clique drama persists as usual. Some little freshman cunts decide to trip me up for no reason in the lunch line. Suffice to say, it led to a bunch of people making me the school laughingstock. The next time I see those sluts, I'll mangle them up so bad...
Am I really that ugly and out of place? Anyways, I'm tired and cranky...
Edit: Aww, I knew it. I scared everyone away with all my bitching. I should go crawl under my bed in shame or something. Maybe I ought to cut my throat to save everyone the trouble and hassle of putting up with my sh*t.
teh-lolrus wrote:My boyfriend's parents are being assh*les. They're blaming his bad grades in AP Government on me.
He should have gone (back) to regular Government class when he had the chance. Prolly too late now to do anything about the grade. Live and learn.
Big-Will wrote:Live and learn.
And then get Luvs! LOL
wrote that sh*t on the bathroom wall about you is f*ck those bitches. Highschool ends. It may seem like never will and you will always be stuck there, but that is not the case..I don't know how old you are, but eventually you will graduate and have a much better life..And maybe the same thing will happen to those bitches that happened to the bitches who picked on me in highschool. They will get pregnant early, before they graduate, and miss out on alot of cool things. They won't get to go to college, or make new friends, or discover new things about themselves, they will be stuck raising a bunch of kids and going after their assh*le ex boyfriends for child support. That is what happens to popular cunts, they might have a great time in high school, but it is in high school that they f*ck up the rest of their lives because they are too dumb to see the people they are trying to impress aren't worth impressing..And they don't realize that high school ends, and when it ends no one is going to care how "cool" they were back in the day..
This is how stupid it was: I was in a French class with friends and such and we had the usual banter bullsh*t. In the process, we developed a little game of 'what did you f*ck?' I told him I f*cked his mother and my friend turned round saying I f*cked his cat called Sniggles. I made a few cracks about it, acting like it was true. It was all jokes...
...Until this dickhead in the class, who had an absolute grudge against me since day one, told all his friends. And they told all their friends. It went from being funny to people branding me a cat rapist. And, because I was so nice, I let it go. Bad, bad decision. I ended up having that haunt me for years until I left Wales. Being insulted by people who didn't know f*ck all. There was never any truth in it - but it was just kids being kids. I was so miserable.
I ended up stewing over it for months, wanting to explode. I did end up exploding - but at the wrong person. I was wound up in French class to the point where my friend threw a pencil at my head, just as a joke. My response? I threw a chair right towards his head. It barely missed. Yeah.. after that, I got branded a psycho. Right timing, wrong person.
I turned from a bubbly happy personality into a real tempercase that would have probably killed someone had I not moved to Glasgow at the last second - problems at home, problems at school, I was a disaster waiting to happen. Once I moved, I mellowed out but had a shell around me for two years in my new school.
But I developed a very bad temper which has nearly thrown me out of school twice and it crops on on occasion in arguements with the brother. I'd use the excuse that it was my mother's side that I developed the temper, but - no.. it was the constant bullying and treatment of people who I considered my friends.
One piece of advice I can give you is to definately show your not someone to be pushed around - yeah, violence isn't the answer, blahblahblah. But in a society like this? I wouldn't rule it out. But only use it when absolutely necessary - if someone physically harms you, spreads rumours about you and so forth. Once you do, people usually back off because they don't want anymore trouble and will cease all that.
I hope you solve your school troubles - believe me, I know how hard it is. It's a f*cking bitch.
marvel_freak_42 wrote: I feel like a assh*le today so you die.
Professer Chaos: Where I go destruction will follow!
However, all's not well anymore in my social life. I'm still a depressed bitch in dire need to get raped by the most metal assh*le in my school. My best friend has abandoned me for those airwolfing Twilight fansluts. One of my friends whom I've known since second grade has lost interest in all the things we use to like. now we have absolutely nothing in common. As for my blond whore of a friend? Ha! She's too busy sucking her ginger boyfriend's cawk. But I've finally noticed all of this a while ago when I checked my MySpace. I wasn't on it in quite a while, so.....yeah.
In the end, I have no social life anymore. All of my best friends have left me for some much better friends. Why would they need me if all I do is bring them down? Then again, that's just how I am.
What the hell did I do to them anyway?! It's not my fault I'm always sad and miserable. Blame my assh*le parents for divorcing and ruining my life! All these family issues are the sourse of my misery, you know!
Aw well. It doesn't matter. At least I have my computer and cats.
Someone wrote:Lies! None of the guys on here have seen real women!
And sometimes, your childhood friends find you again.
I think you should get a LiveJournal...those things are great for emotional venting such as this. I probably would have went insane by now without one of those goddamn things. XD
@cheesypoofs: Can't say my offline social life is the best thing ever myself, but I guess my own natural nervousness and past-life experience have contributed in many ways. All the people I knew years ago just aren't there anymore, and I've been going to this new school for about a year and a half though and I still haven't really completely found a place in the many groups of people I've interacted with that I can really call my own...not yet anyway. I have friends at my new school, just not a static group of friends. Guess this is what I get for abruptly switching schools half-way through high school, especially since my old school was in a completely different city, but i didn't really have a choice in that little decision. Your situation may be different than mine, but I do know how it is to have a failing social life.
I might make my own little rant post in a bit.
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M00ndragon69- Thanks for the advice. I try to keep it in my head, but things have a bad tendency to get forced out of there with all the schoolwork I get. I'll just try my best to keep my head out of things and wait it out, however hard it might be. I've got...one school year and four months left until I'm gone from there for good.
CartmanMills- Thanks for the advice, and I'm glad to hear you're out of the woods with that stuff now. About the violence- I've fought some of those kids before. They're physical pushovers (that's saying something, I'm rather scrawny compared to the other kids, save for my belly and ass), but they get away with everything and I usually get ratted out or caught for fighting. It's small wonder I wasn't kicked out of school yet (considering my other friends were kicked out for more minor offenses, like dress code). I guess it's my grades that are keeping me on the douchebag administrators' decent side, though I do have to admit they hate my whole family...
buttersandikerule- I doubt it. You're rather friendly here, at least.
cheesypoofs857- Ah, severe depression. I know how it feels; I had it early last year really bad. It relapses from time to time (I'm just barely getting over another month-long bout, see the earlier posts on this thread). Don't worry, you'll be able to hang on and pull through. Just try not to OD on drugs, that really sucks. As for your friends, I'd try for some solitude or talking to the loners at school. Good luck with that stuff.
Big-Will (second post)- True. I haven't quite reached adulthood yet, but I can attest to fading memories of friends and making new buddies (through strange ways such as...uh...racial similariites- yes, Asians are rather in short supply all over my county ). I can also agree with finding friends all over again- I lost touch with one of my elementary school friends over middle school (we only wrote one letter to each other for quite a while) and we met again (and now are hanging out a lot) in high school.
Mr. Hat_DX27- Aww, thanks... Sometimes, you just wonder 'why me', though. I guess it's just a fact of life that some people carry around bad luck. Anyhow...I'm not ugly? I've heard too much lately, and the famiiy complaints that 'you're fat' isn't helping much, though that's another story. On the LJ thing...? Thanks for the suggestion, but I've heard about some crazy drama that goes on there, so I'm a bit wary as of now.
They threatened me with suspension but I knew they wouldn't go through with it because my classwork was good. They believed my story and ended up giving him real sh*t for what happened (my teacher who broke it up believed me, headteacher believed me) - I was never bothered again.
In that situation, they believed me. But they still gave me hell for not telling them - which I refused to do. I was 17 nearly 18 at the time and refused to be bullied. It does have it's price though - was nearly suspended a second time for a seperate incident with another fella that ended up really putting me in the sh*t. My temper got the best of me. It feels really good sticking up for yourself but it leaves you thinking that any incident of that case calls for physical action - and that just isn't the case.
In my last school, I got into a situation like that and the guy involved (had provoked me and physically threatened me) got off scott free whereas I was threatened with suspension unless I guaranteed there would be no more repercussions. The arguement was, heck, that I had been physical first. What bollocks.
What worked for me was to be intimidating whenever something like that occured - you find some writing about you? Go to that person, get in their face and tell them to back off or you'll do it for them. People like that HATE intimidation - it just doesn't go. If they hit or grass you up, your clearly suggest that you were merely warning them that you didn't want to see any writing. I know it sounds ridiculous but if you clearly show that your a problem which you won't back down, they won't go near you or say ANYTHING because they realize that you'll know and will do something about it.
That works for girls, guys and whoever. Most people hate the idea of confrontation and will thrive off you doing nothing and walking away - simply make yourself a threat when that happens again. Don't get physical but don't be soft either. I'd say tell your teachers and such but it didn't work for me - what worked for me was being imposing if I was faced with any sh*t. Trust me.. if your a problem they don't want, they won't persue it.
The schools only want to throw out constant troublemakers and people who are a real problem in class - that's why, twice, I was saved from suspension. Don't worry - if you absolutely must get involved, never worry about the actions of the school. Usually, telling your story will get them to side with you instead of the person who's complaining.
March Break is over, and damn it’s been a rather mediocre one at that. Very early on in the week my dad ended up getting quite sick (yay for hyperparathyroidism-related fuckups plus other random health problems), so that’s been keeping me worried for a while, though he has been getting better and should be out of the hospital in a few days. Still, it was a crappy way to start the week. I got to go up there and see him today and he’s looking pretty good, but I’ve heard some unsettling during the week, but I don’t feel like getting into detail here.
It’s things like that, plus drama between other friends of mine, both on and offline, that makes me wonder why they have to have such big problems where my problems are normally petty and not-so-bad. I think the thing that bugs me the most is that, as much as I’d love to, it doesn’t really feel like I can do anything for them, and it bothers the hell out of me because I hate seeing my friends down in it while I’m over here wondering what to do. While I do greatly appreciate the things I have, I can’t help but think that sometimes I’m too fortunate for my own good, and am less than deserving. There are a few people I know who often talk to me about their own problems and all I really can do is listen, and while that might be good enough for them, I still wish that I could do something more to make stuff suck less for them. There are some times where I just feel so f*cking useless, gah! I know fairness is a lost concept in this day and age, but it still makes me sad.
(That’s actually part of my LJ post for tonight )
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