Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

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M00ndragon69
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby M00ndragon69 » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:38 am

Man, I am sorry to hear that Marvel Freak..Families shouldn't treat eachother like that. Your dad needs to realize that how he is treating you is wrong, and he needs to stop dealing with things by getting drunk.
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CartmanMills
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby CartmanMills » Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:40 am

I ain't going to judge you, Marvel Freak. Heck, I have a very tension-filled relationship with my brother which has gotten way out of control on several occasions and the best thing to do is step back. I'm not talking about from fighting, just your dad. For the time being. Believe me, your dad should back off now but, if he doesn't, back off. Because two things will happen if you don't; you'll hurt him or he'll hurt you. In the heat of the moment, bad things happen. You won't mean to but in that split second, you'll react out of sheer anger. Never good.
Mr. Hat_DX27
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby Mr. Hat_DX27 » Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:16 pm

marvel_freak_42 wrote:My vent, very VERY recent:

Okay, so only about a few hours ago,, I get this call from my dad saying he wants to just sit and talk to me for Easter. Well, although we're never on the best of terms with one another, I figured, well, I'm his son and I should do what I can to maintain a good relationship. Well, when I go over to his house, it turns out he's f*cking hammered as hell (my only guess is because his girlfriend wanted to spend Easter with her kids and he didn't know how to take it) and I can't make out a good 60% of the sh*t he's saying. Well, he goes into his room and to lie down for a bit, and before he said that he said to make some brownies (well, he's drunk of course, so I don't want to waste the stuff to make brownies with and have him say to me next time "Why'd you waste the brownies for?" when he's sober.) Anyway, when he gets up after about twenty minutes (I stayed 'cause I didn't want to be rude and take off), he says to me "Why the f*ck didn't you make the brownies?" Before I could say anything, he just says "You're a little f*cking assh*le" and some other drunken bullsh*t. When I finally given him my explanation, he says "So what? I'm your father!" My response: "But you were drunk when you said it." Him: "So? I'm right. You're the f*cking kid, I'm the adult, so I'm always right." Me: "Well, that's it, I'm not spending my Easter Sunday with a drunken self-righteous hypocrite with a stupid f*cking superiority complex." And he grabs me by the arm and says "Hey, don't you walk away from me! You wouldn't do that to your mother, would you? Think about that!"

It was in that moment that I punched him.

Now, I'm f*cking heated to the core, and start yelling saying how he changed more than I did after my mom died, and the sh*t I've done isn't half as bad as the crap he's doing still, and how just because he's an adult it doesn't mean he's right, and so on. So, now, here I am, sitting here at my aunt's, waiting to go to the Easter dinner with my family in forty minutes.

......dude...that's not cool. Your father really needs to be put in his place, seriously. Even if you weren't his kid that's totally uncalled for, especially that last remark. Man, some people just shouldn't have kids. I'm really sorry to hear that dude. :(
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:08 pm

CartmanMills wrote:I ain't going to judge you, Marvel Freak. Heck, I have a very tension-filled relationship with my brother which has gotten way out of control on several occasions and the best thing to do is step back. I'm not talking about from fighting, just your dad. For the time being. Believe me, your dad should back off now but, if he doesn't, back off. Because two things will happen if you don't; you'll hurt him or he'll hurt you. In the heat of the moment, bad things happen. You won't mean to but in that split second, you'll react out of sheer anger. Never good.


Well, I feel like a complete jackass because I did what I did, even though he did what HE did. I mean, he's my dad, and there's no doubt in my mind that I love him to death, but he needs to stop what's he's doing first if anything. He's not really a bad guy, and yeah, punching him most likely wasn't the best way to resolve the issue, and I'll admit that I was wrong for doing it, but at least I can admit I'm wrong. He can't; he's too proud or some other sh*t I can't think of. I can only hope I didn't burn too many bridges. :(
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CartmanMills
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby CartmanMills » Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:47 pm

Don't. You were probably right to, he was way out of line talking like he did. I'm just saying that, for both your sakes, you might want to sort of take a time out with him. I've hit my brother on occasion when he's made a few remarks that were out of line - he always apologises for them after. I guess it just takes a punch to make someone go "Oops. Shouldn't have done that." :P
teh-lolrus
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby teh-lolrus » Tue Mar 25, 2008 1:01 am

CartmanMills wrote:Don't. You were probably right to, he was way out of line talking like he did. I'm just saying that, for both your sakes, you might want to sort of take a time out with him. I've hit my brother on occasion when he's made a few remarks that were out of line - he always apologises for them after. I guess it just takes a punch to make someone go "Oops. Shouldn't have done that." :P


I agree. Sometimes, conflict heals over time. I guess you can try to fix things with your dad (worry about the drinking problem first and foremost) after both of you back down.

I just recently let go of a grudge I held for the majority of last year between a [former] friend. We got into some huge arguement, and it took him saving my artwork from a downpour a few weeks ago for my forgiveness. It'll come naturally one day; I never thought I would've forgiven him after our friendship fell out. I'm pretty sure something good might happen someday and things will get better for you, MF. Good luck with your dad.

Boyfriend Troubles [update]-

I saw him at school today; the cut he was talking about wasn't as bad as I imagined. He showed me in the hall today when no one was around; it was a rather long scratch across his belly and a few surface cuts on his wrists. I'm so glad the blade didn't go in that deep, that would've been horrible... It's just...he's still extremely depressed and I'm still worried about him. I don't want him to do it again, and I just don't know what to do to cheer him up or something.

:cry:

I'm so scared... I hope he'll call me in a bit. Maybe I should call him to check up on how he's doing now...
._.
SouthParkSoul
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby SouthParkSoul » Tue Mar 25, 2008 1:15 am

This probably won't help, but I had to right a report on suicide, and according to them, you shoul worry if he starts to:


Appearing depressed or sad most of the time.
(Untreated depression is the number one cause for suicide.)


Feeling hopeless.


Expressing hopelessness.


Withdrawing from family and friends.


Sleeping too much or too little.


Feeling tired most of the time.


Gaining or losing a significant amount of weight.


Making statements such as these:

"I can't go on any longer."


"I hate this life."


"There's no point to this stupid life."


"Everyone would be better off without me."


"Life is not worth living."


"Nothing matters anymore."


"I don't care about anything anymore."


"I want to die."


--And any mention of suicide--


Writing notes or poems about suicide or death.


Acting compulsively.


Losing interest in most activities.


Giving away prized possessions.


Writing a will.


No sense of humor.


Facing a perceived "humiliating" situation.


Facing a perceived "failure."


Feeling excessive guilt or shame.


Acting irrationally.


Being preoccupied with death or dying.


Behaving recklessly.


Irritability


Frequently complaining about headaches, stomachaches, etc.

Neglecting personal appearance.


A dramatic change in personal appearance.


A dramatic change in personality.


Performing poorly at work or in school.


Abusing alcohol or drugs.


Inability to concentrate.

It should be noted that some people who die by suicide do not show any suicide warning signs. Many people hide their depression because there is still a strong social stigma against mental illness. Also, many people believe that they will be perceived as weak, so they also hide their depression.

But most people do show suicide warning signs, so we need to be aware of what the suicide warning signs are, and try to spot them in people. If we do see someone exhibiting suicide warning signs, we need to do everything that we can to help them.


I really don't know what else to say to help. :cry: New experience for me. (Last time I cried over anything was at my grandmother's funeral. I didn't know her too well, regretted that.) I'd say talk to someone who's only emotion isn't dry humor and anger. (Not me)
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teh-lolrus
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby teh-lolrus » Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:04 am

^ Thanks for the concern anyhow. It's rather...I dunno, it seems the tables have turned on me. My boyfriend convinced me a number to times to pull through and keep living during my depression relapses every year (somehow, it always ends up being the worst at the start of Spring- this year...last year...the year before...could it be seasonal? But, I digress.).

Maybe it's time for me to help him. Thing is, I don't know how to help people. I've even heard around the school and town that I'm a soul-less bastard. I wouldn't be surprised; I was never good at cheering people up and supporting them. It's just...I don't think I've ever learned how. I mean...my boyfriend knows that I love him and everything else...we promised each other that we wouldn't leave each other, even if things got this bad...but it's so hard to see him act so...depressed and hopeless.

Ugh. I just don't know what to do if I really lost him. He actually cares for me, and not just emotionally. He brought me food when my parents did that little starvation stunt, he made sure he could take me in if I ever got kicked out... What will I do without someone to lean on and cry with?

:cry:
._.
BRMBug
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby BRMBug » Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:34 am

CartmanMills wrote:Don't. You were probably right to, he was way out of line talking like he did. I'm just saying that, for both your sakes, you might want to sort of take a time out with him. I've hit my brother on occasion when he's made a few remarks that were out of line - he always apologises for them after. I guess it just takes a punch to make someone go "Oops. Shouldn't have done that." :P

I agree.

Lolrus, I just don't know what to say. I just wish I had something helpful to say right now but I just don't. Sorreh.
Butterslover21
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby Butterslover21 » Tue Mar 25, 2008 4:08 pm

can somebody help me? i have trouble controlling my emotions. whenever i get in serious trouble, i start crying and i can't stop. i also start to think that i'm a terrible, dishonest person. and i know it's bad to bottle your feelings up, but i think that's what i do all the time. i usually don't express my anger, but lately i've been letting it out and yelling at my friends. i take medicine that makes me happy, and it works... for two hours. but i don't tell my parents. i just want somebody to help me and actually care about my problems.

god, i'm not sure if i should even be telling you guys this...

( for those of you that at least sort-of know me, i'm pissed at my mom right now so i'm not as cheery as usual.)
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superiorsavior
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby superiorsavior » Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:58 pm

I'm glad my family are relitively peaceful having read all these posts. Boring lives rule :)

Butterslover21 wrote:i have trouble controlling my emotions. whenever i get in serious trouble, i start crying and i can't stop. i also start to think that i'm a terrible, dishonest person.

Don't worry, it's normal to feel that way. Well, when I say normal, I still have trouble controling my emotions. Just today I exploded at a shop assistant and then started crying, because she said I was too young to buy a can of red bull (i'm 17.5 years old! It's red bull! I had NO sleep!) but I explode all the time for no reason. DON'T get too dependant on medication! The side effects of legal drugs like Haldol can be just as bad as the side effects of the illegal happy pills like Cocane. I usually try breathing deeply, always being round friends (who'll try to calm me down when I fly off the handle) and always carry something to chew/drink, so I can drink it or chew harder when stressed. I started doing elaberate practical jokes a few years back which seems to have helped me avoid any major mental breakdowns.

teh lolrus wrote: was never good at cheering people up and supporting them. It's just...I don't think I've ever learned how

This is probably bad advice (i've never had major problems in my family life and never been good at cheering people up) but the best way to learn a new skill like cheering someone up is to practice it. Even if you don't think you're going to offer much help to your boyfriend, at least try to get him some emotional support, the most you can give. As for specifics, I have no idea... Remind him that he's all you've got, that might make him a little sadder but it could stop him killing himself, if he thinks you'll go too if he does? It sounds like you're both still in love, so the only way you could loose him is if he did anything that drastic, so stick close to him as much as possible. Try to get him some other friends, or something, to watch him when you're not there.

southparksoul wrote:suicide warning signs

I show way too many of those signs. It's like the scientologists... before I read that, i thought I was a happy person, now, I think I need help! Well, happy for this board...

marvel_freak_42 wrote:Stuff about your family

That is some seriously scary stuff. I couldn't immagine anything like that happening in my family, so I can't give much advice. Try to leave him as many bridges for appology open as possible, but don't appologise too quickly or for too much. Um, hang in there...

south park soul wrote:My younger cousin is (proly) a klansmen

I'm a KKK member! As a practical joke (listening Butters21?) I sort of sent them and a bunch of other extremist organisations donations, and I got to join the Klan and the Catholic league. More of a random thing than a rant, it's just the kind of thing I do to stave off getting pissed at people. Treat life like the joke it is :)

On the home front I'm failing my maths (2 exams on the 15th March!), Chemistry (got an E for the first exam, next one at beginning of June) and biology (a joke too far led to paper being disqualified, so resit needed) leaving me with an uncertain accademic future. As I've got few RL friends, my skool is my life, so that's a big faliure. Mum crashed her car (no one hurt) so I can't get to school tomorrow or the day after probs. Drank WAY too much caffine (2 cokes, 3/4 litre of Red Bull and 4 coffees and some chocolate) today so can't sleep or type strait. Oh, and I just got banned from another forum I frequent :(
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Butterslover21
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby Butterslover21 » Wed Mar 26, 2008 12:51 am

thanks for the help, superior. i'm glad you care. :D
honk if you're f*cking steve carell (cause i really wish i was!)

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teh-lolrus
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby teh-lolrus » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:45 am

BRMBug- That's alright. I guess we all have to pull through and go on, even when things get sh*tty.

Butterslover21- Emotion control? I'm not very good at it myself; I usually have to push it down at school (where most of it boils up... ><) but I find listening to aggressive music, writing (even venting it all out online like I do here on the BBS), and drawing out your feelings helps some. After the emotion passes, you can hide your drawings and writings, especially if they're really f*cked up (like mine). I hope it helps a bit...

superiorsavior- It's not that bad of advice, you know. I'll try to do that on my free time (after these 66 notecards to finish for the notoriously tedious AP Gov class). He knows I'd probably off myself a week or two after he's...gone, so I can try that if his depression flares up again. It's worked on me when things got bad. I dunno. He's got a group of buddies I hang out with (...sadly, he's lacking in close friends unlike me- I've got a few, although most are perpetually busy with schoolwork), so I guess I'll ask them to be watchdogs.

...And yes, we have a good relationship. We've been going out for nearly two and a half years; word has it our relationship's the longest one on record at our school, according to the Senior class (who keep track of strange things like this)...

Other [Minor] Problems/Boyfriend Trouble [update]-

My cough still won't go away, and it's extremely annoying. I think I got it from my CG teacher, he's had it bad for a while, too.

There’s something flying around my house and sucking out my blood. I woke up two nights ago at about 4 AM to scratch bug bites all over my leg- eight in all. Ugh. They itch so bad…

I have such a bad habit of spazzing out- literally- over my grades. I had a nasty spazz attack about getting my AP English research report (that I whined about earlier somewhere) grade back; it came out to be a decent 90%. My last major spazz-out was during the Physics exam; that scared the other kids shitless... Could it be my lack of sleep?

AP Gov is driving me insane. The teacher tells us we have 66 notecards due...two days before the due date. These things are tedious to do- we need definitions, related terms, and analysis on how it's related to the government. Bleh. I'm pulling an all-nighter tonight to get as much as possible done. It's not hard, but it's time-consuming. We also have this huge test next week and a normal test this Friday...

I still have English homework to do...and I have to work on these notecards. Ack! Maybe I can BS it and get away with it like my report.

My boyfriend seems to be less suicidal now, but I can tell he's still depressed. He's extremely quiet now and sometimes, he's on the verge of tears. I was afraid he was going to break down crying in AP Gov class today (not good...he would've aggravated the teacher, who can stir up some drama in a nanosecond). He hasn't been sleeping, either- there are dark circles under his eyes and he called me at 3 AM last night saying that he couldn't sleep... I hope he'll just hang on. One of these days, I'll find a way to make him happier without pushing him over the edge...

…The BBS just shitted out on me with some weird SQL error, so this reply is rather delayed… Great job, stupid server.
._.
AngusMcTavish
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby AngusMcTavish » Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:00 am

Okay, I'm probably the last person any of you would expect to have a real worry, but for the last couple of days, something has been troubling me, and it's not on my own behalf.

During the weekend, my girlfriend's mother had to undergo an operation. It went well, but she started hurting a couple of days later. She had to go back to the hospital yesterday, and while they say she made it through okay and was able to go back home the same day, I just couldn't help but wonder:

Why didn't they keep her overnight after the operation? Isn't that a standard procedure??

My gf's parents have both been really good to me ever since I met 'em, so I'm really hoping she pulls through okay. I really don't know how the rest of the family would cope if...

Well, I really shouldn't mention things like that, but you know what I mean.

I'll check in on them tomorrow and see how she's doing.
randomcolors5
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby randomcolors5 » Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:10 pm

i can't find my old post so screw it. my little cousin(she just turned two) almost broke her foot yesterday.
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