Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

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KrazyKenny
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby KrazyKenny » Sat May 24, 2008 6:14 pm

teh-lolrus____ yeah...I'm not going to say "I know how you feel" because I don't know what you're feeling or exactly what you're going through..but I have been in a place before where, even though I am are surrounded by people who care about me, I feel completly alone...and I just can't shake the feeling....and it still happens sometimes. There could be several different medical reasons for how you are feeling... and going to a doctor might be a good idea. Most likely how you're feeling will pass. You just have to hang in there and no matter what, no matter what happens to you, no matter how desperate you feel suicide isn't the answer.
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby teh-lolrus » Sat May 24, 2008 6:35 pm

KrazyKenny wrote:teh-lolrus____ yeah...I'm not going to say "I know how you feel" because I don't know what you're feeling or exactly what you're going through..but I have been in a place before where, even though I am are surrounded by people who care about me, I feel completly alone...and I just can't shake the feeling....and it still happens sometimes.

There could be several different medical reasons for how you are feeling... and going to a doctor might be a good idea. Most likely how you're feeling will pass. You just have to hang in there and no matter what, no matter what happens to you, no matter how desperate you feel suicide isn't the answer.


Ah, thanks for the empathy. Maybe lonliness is just a common part of life, painful as it may be. It seems like a lot of people, at least on the BBS, have dealt with this without taking a knife to their gut...hopefully, I'll grow a spine and learn to do that, too.

I told my mom about how I was feeling; she had a little spazz-out. It's pretty obvious she doesn't want me back on meds [those cost a lot anyhow...]. I don't want to go back on meds either, but that's up to the doctor to decide, if I actually do end up going to the doctor. I think my physical is coming up soon in about a month; I'll just ask about my tiredness, sensitivity to the sun and heat, and sudden mood swings and possible medical depression. Anyways, my mom suspects I'm not getting out enough and excercising enough to get rid of the depression [but I have so much work to do for school all the time! When will I find the time to work out?]; that's probably why I feel like crap all the time but I have no idea...

Wow...I realized how f*cked up I really am.

:shock:
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Pip Tweek
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby Pip Tweek » Sat May 24, 2008 7:59 pm

Telling your mom about it was a step in the right direction. No one can help you if you don't talk about it.

It would appear that if you're nearly suicidal, the cost of medication is a trivial matter. Do what you need to do to get yourself stable.
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby Blue Twilight » Sun May 25, 2008 2:06 am

@teh-lolrus... and everyone else who has talked about this, which is one of the hardest things people can do, but it helps:

You are not alone, and you never have been. Four years ago I was in a similar situation... I was surrounded by people who cared, but my life felt so incomplete because I felt so *detached* from them... not to mention I was in love with someone who refused to return it. But hurting yourself isn't the correct path... intentionally or unintentionally. I was diagnosed with anorexia late that year and had to be hospitalized for the first half of 2005.... and found out just how many people were affected by it. And I still haven't really fully gotten over the depression... or the eating disorder. According to the doctor, I'm dangerously close to being re-diagnosed, although this time it's more of a symptom of melancholic depression than a condition on its own in my case. And you're not fucked-up at all... it's all chemical imbalances in the brain, which is all out of your control. The best you can do is not focus on the depression, otherwise it will control you.

Anyway... enough about an area of my past that I'm *not* proud about. XD

Which is kind of why I'm not on meds-- meds can only do so much, but they won't change the situation. It's mainly up to you to pull yourself out and ask for support from the people you care for, and accept support and advice from those who give it.

People who don't have clinical depression don't realize how fortunate they are.

Pip Tweek wrote:
Telling your mom about it was a step in the right direction. No one can help you if you don't talk about it.

It would appear that if you're nearly suicidal, the cost of medication is a trivial matter. Do what you need to do to get yourself stable.


Exactly. The cost of meds is absolutely nothing compared to the emotional cost on all of the people who love you and care about you.
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teh-lolrus
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby teh-lolrus » Sun May 25, 2008 3:28 pm

Pip Tweek- I was lucky at the time I told my mom. She's really unpredictable- after she got back from my brother's piano concert; she bitched me out for a crapload of stuff and kicked me around for a bit because I was napping when they got back.

I guess I really shouldn't spazz over meds; I'm guessing we can handle the cost if it means stopping me from spiking myself on a stick or something.

BT- Ah. I wonder if detachment is a normal stage of life. Whether it is or not; I wouldn't know...all I know is that it's kinda...painful and lonely. I really hope the depression and anorexia gets better for you...it sounds like a lot to deal with [makes my situation pale in comparison, if you ask me- I ought not to be complaining :oops: ].

I think the last time I was on depression meds was for the chemical imbalances. The meds helped, but they kinda twisted my innards up a bit and made me want to sleep 24/7. Clinical depression sucks.

On a related note, have you heard on the news not too long ago the controversy over if depression and other mental disorders should be covered under health insurance? I say it should be; many people have no idea what the sufferers go through and they shouldn't be left out of the coverage...but that's just my two cents.
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cheesypoofs857
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby cheesypoofs857 » Mon May 26, 2008 12:10 am

Sorry if this post does not concern Lolrus's predicament, but while we're on the subject of depression, let me just point this out:

I noticed a lot of kids my age tend to gloat about how many mental disorders they have on the Internet. Honestly, is that really something to be proud of? Then they go on rebeling against their parents because they "just don't understand". They also reject God just because they are attracted to people of both genders and that there's no "scientific proof" that God exists. And the people they look up to! Ugh! What's so great about a self-centered transsexual and a hateful animal rights activist?

This isn't really a post about my problems, but.... OH GOD I CAN'T TALK LIKE THIS ANYMORE!

*sigh* Stupid kids. Makes me glad I have no social life at this time of year.
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby teh-lolrus » Mon May 26, 2008 12:38 am

cheesypoofs857 wrote:Sorry if this post does not concern Lolrus's predicament, but while we're on the subject of depression, let me just point this out:

I noticed a lot of kids my age tend to gloat about how many mental disorders they have on the Internet. Honestly, is that really something to be proud of? Then they go on rebeling against their parents because they "just don't understand". They also reject God just because they are attracted to people of both genders and that there's no "scientific proof" that God exists. And the people they look up to! Ugh! What's so great about a self-centered transsexual and a hateful animal rights activist?

This isn't really a post about my problems, but.... OH GOD I CAN'T TALK LIKE THIS ANYMORE!

*sigh* Stupid kids. Makes me glad I have no social life at this time of year.


...That [the fact that kids like bragging about supposed mental disorders] strikes me as weird, too. Mental disorders are definitely NOT something to brag about; it makes the real sufferers look like phonies and makes the disorder look like a simple breakdown more than anything else [and it's not, based on experience].

As far as parent rebellion goes, it's a proven normal stage in most, if not all, teenagers' lives. It's a time where people our age are trying to forge our own opinions, our own styles and path in life. It's normal that we'll clash against our parents' intrests- but to what degree that happens depends on how different the parent and child are on a said subject [I clash with my parents frequently over virtually everything but my watching of South Park and food].
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Pip Tweek
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby Pip Tweek » Mon May 26, 2008 2:14 am

The whole "parents just don't understand" thing is universal in our society.

teh-lolrus wrote:
...That [the fact that kids like bragging about supposed mental disorders] strikes me as weird, too. Mental disorders are definitely NOT something to brag about; it makes the real sufferers look like phonies and makes the disorder look like a simple breakdown more than anything else [and it's not, based on experience].


I totally agree with you on the real sufferer's point, but kids bragging about neuroses doesn't strike me as weird...

I looked up the term 'emo' on wikipedia and came across a somewhat relevant piece of information:

"In recent years the popular media has associated emo with a stereotype that includes being emotional, sensitive, shy, introverted, or angsty. It is also associated with depression, self-injury, and suicide."

Of course Wikipedia is not the definitive source of all information, but in this case, it's a good place to start. What can you say about it when there is an actual CULTURE associated with angst, depression, self-injury, and suicide?

And, lolrus, this is NOT in any way a dig at you; in your BBS signature you refer to yourself as 'emo' but obviously not in the aforementioned sense of the word. I just wanted to state that so as not to risk offending you.

My point is that, there is some aspect of our popular culture that associates angst/depression with loftier attributes like 'introspective,' 'artistic' etc. that goes back from Trent Reznor to Roger Waters to Vincent Van Gogh in the late 1800's.

So it makes sense that some kids would want to associate with these traits and form an identity around them.....but the people who brag about being that way are just morons.
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby Blue Twilight » Mon May 26, 2008 2:17 am

@Poofs: Sad but true. I think some people *do* feign having mental conditions or use something trivial as some excuse for their immaturity or stupid behaviour. And lolrus took the words right out of my mouth there-- mental disorders are absolutely nothing to brag about. The only reason I'm even bringing something like this up in this thread was because this forum seems very closely-knit, and it was in context with what others were saying. Only a few people offline know about it as well.

@lolrus: I hate to say it, but the feeling of incompleteness and emptiness is, in fact, a symptom of depression. Although a lot of people in their teens may feel a sense of detachment as they become more independent from their parents or caregivers, plus there's so many existing chemical changes, maybe it's just how you do feel.

And yes, things are improving, little by little. Although my appetite still goes as it pleases, I'm trying to put some weight on before going overseas so I'm not in danger of getting hospitalized over there, either.

Psychology Today wrote:Melancholic depression is often a synonym for severe depression, and it is far more common among those hospitalized for depression than among those in the community. Affected persons lack pleasure in almost all activities and do not react to pleasurable stimulation. They may experience extreme slowness of movement or agitation. Their depression is regularly worse in the morning and is accompanied by lack of appetite and weight loss.

Melancholic depressives may also ruminate over the same thoughts and experiences, and feel excessive guilt. Their depression takes on a life of its own: the more episodes they have, the more autonomous such episodes seem, less likely to be set off by stressful events.


That has described me to a T for the past year... or at least I hope it *had*. It's dissipating little by little, and hopefully a change of scenery in July will do some good. (: Plus spending more time with people helps as well.

@lolrus again: I think depression should be insured... it's not people's fault they have it; it is a medical condition. BUT there are people who might take advantage of it (then again, some people will take advantage of any kind of insurance they're given, so it's more of a general insurance-related issue). On the whole, you are right, there are people who have no idea what we go through and assume a "you're just being selfish, now go pull yourself together" mentality that only drives it further.

And no no no no no, you go ahead and vent if you need to, because talking helps, and seriously, my situation is improving so there's not much to worry about at the moment.

But anyway... I won't go any further about my condition(s) on a public forum. I'm just glad there's understanding people here, because I've seen people (both online and offline) simply tear others apart for less than this.
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Pip Tweek
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby Pip Tweek » Mon May 26, 2008 2:51 am

Blue Twilight wrote:
But anyway... I won't go any further about my condition(s) on a public forum. I'm just glad there's understanding people here, because I've seen people (both online and offline) simply tear others apart for less than this.


Yeah, it's a sad commentary on society. I think relating your own experience in support of another person is admirable, but if we take a step back, this IS a public forum, and it's based on South Park - there's only so far you can safely go into the 'off topic' personal stuff here. It's perfectly understandable for you not to elaborate on your experiences.

I just can't understand why, with the human condition being what it is, that, in general, we all act like life is perfect.
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby teh-lolrus » Mon May 26, 2008 9:24 pm

Pip Tweek- You know...I think you're right about my signature, and no, I'm not offended. I was thinking lately- is it even right for me to use labels? I've actually been pondering this at school not too long ago- what is it that compels teenagers to pick on a said stereotype? Do I even conform to a said stereotype? I know it's a fact that teenagers lump themselves into groups for acceptance and for the feeling of just fitting into society, but...to pick on someone for trying to fit in somewhere...is that right?

The way I believe...I don't think I really fit in anywhere in a defined group besides the 'artist' group. Is 'artist' even a group?

Anyhow, this sounds like a good time to change my signature...maybe throw in a link to my fan-fiction or something. After all, that is a bit outdated- I changed my signature back when I was extremely depressed in March, when I felt lumped into said group.

^ ^;

BT- Yeah, this is one of the places I feel secure enough to vent out this and that [of course, leaving out the really personal stuff for the sake of not getting hunted down in real life]; it's a good thing because I don't really have another way to get my feelings out besides talking on the phone with my boyfriend.

I'm proabably gonna get this checked out at a doctor on these depression symptoms- I mean, besides the weather, why else would I be so tired all the time? It seems like my feelings fit that 'melancholic depression' stuff, but I should probably call up my psychologist just to make sure and stuff.

People are naturally out for their own good; I'm sure some assh*les will take anything to their advantage... It's just sad that some people think depression is just a bunch of whine and it could actually make situations worse.

><

Pip Tweek- People who tell me to 'Oh, cheer up. Life is good.' piss me off. Can't they open their eyes and try to walk in my path? Another little thing that gets in the way of people understanding my situations, at least in real life, is the fact that Chinese traditions and customs are so different from American customs. People just don't realize that doing something may be okay in their culture...but it could get me kicked out in my culture.

:x

House Cleaning-

I hate it so f*cking much- especially washing the floor. It takes ages to do and there's so much f*cking furniture to move around. I threw out my back trying to move around all the chairs and tables and everything else with my parents. What did my little brother do? He sat around being a bitch about how he was tired from hanging out with his friends yesterday. What a little douche- I practically broke my back moving stuff around and he sat there watching TV and generally enjoying himself.

The actual washing-of-the-floor was quite the pain. It's no fun dragging a large, dripping mop across the floor, scrubbing it using every bit of arm strength left with a half-busted, rusting brush, and attempting to dry off the whole mess with a leaking vaccumn cleaner-thing that had to be emptied out every five square feet. It took practically all day and my dad got his toenail ripped off when the stupid vacuumn-thing fell over on his foot.

My arms are insanely tired, my hands are rubbed raw from using the crappy brush, my back is dead from all the furniture-moving, and my feet are still burning from the chemicals. What's more, I still have to start cleaning out my room after this. I hate cleaning!

I'm seriously getting a maid to do this sh*t after I get my own place to live- I'm horribly inadept at all household chores [except washing dishes- I'm a master at washing dishes] and I hate everything about cleaning and I really don't feel like being a f*cking stereotype housewife.

:x

My room still smells like chemicals.

:stanpuke:

M'kay, stupid rant over.
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gtaca2005
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby gtaca2005 » Mon May 26, 2008 10:50 pm

I used to keep my house really clean, but when everyone stopped helping, I just gave up, I refused to be their bitch. My mom and dad don't treat me like a slave, so I am very fortunate. They never even grounded me, or hit me, except when I told my mom to suck my dick. :shock: (Long story.)

Anyway, yeah, cleaning sucks ass, glad we have carpet. :lol:
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby superiorsavior » Tue May 27, 2008 12:25 am

LOLRUS: MAKE YOUR OWN GROUP! Be your own person and don't care what anyone else thinks. I try and be myself and guess what I have aproximately NO friends in real life, a lot of aquaintances but no one I see outside of school, but do I care? OK, i Sure do care so don't take my advice here. But I'd prefer to be true to myself and have no friends than do something, no, than BE someone, i didn't want to be. It's ok to feel bad about not being cliche, but eventually you'll find some people you can choose to be friends with, unlike the people who let others chose for them. Hopefully that's how it works. But do friends really matter? Try working hard and developing yourself, don't decide what to do because it's more 'emo' or it fits some immage or other you want to convey. I don't know what I'm trying to say here :p

People who don't have clinical depression don't realize how fortunate they are.

Sorry if this offends anyone but It's pissed me off for years. I believe there's ample evidence that some people's brains make them more sad over a loss than other people; however, the diagnosis of clinical depression is simply an observance of your behaviour, if i'm not mistaken, in most cases. People who don't have 'chemical imbalences' (simplified but basically what it is) which make them depressed at minor things may be diagnoses, and people who DO have such imballences may not be diagnosed as having them. People with the imballence, i feel sorry for, but don't use it as an excuse for your troubles, because you could (for all you know) be one of the (no-doubt large considering the human error involved in diagnosis) number of people without such an imballence diagnosed with the disorder. Act as those without such a diagnosis but with the same level of sorrow would be expected to. If meds help, take them, but as you've said, they generally don't. The side-effects will probably make you worse, and the hit-and-miss allocation of meds (if it's anything like the allocation of eppilepsy meds) will probably mean the first several sets are innefective or negatively effective (the suicide INDUCING effect noticed recently with SSRI inhibitors could be evidence of this if it's reliable) mean it's probably best to deal with those problems. It might be hard but at least you can try doing things that make you happy, avoid negative environments, try and put these bad emotions to good use. I usually stay happy when bad things happen to me and go completely ape-shit, or hate myself, because of comparitively minor annoyances, generally to other people, so I don't know what that says about me; I havn't ever seen a doctor so I don't have a diagnosis, so I can't say "IR DEPRESSED" and blame any bad emotions on that. I feel like killing myself just to get it over with, but am I depressed, clinically, NO! I don't have a little bit of paper saying i'm depressed, so clearly I'M NOT. Not that I don't feel sorry for those who're sad, i just feel sorry for sad people weather they're rational or not, however their brains are wired, sorrow is the same feeling.

My mom and dad don't treat me like a slave, so I am very fortunate.

My family. We have a super clean house, except the dining room (my BASE of operations) which has 5 coffee cups, three textbooks, my laptop, several foodstuffs, many stationry equipments, an A3 and 2 A4 pads of paper and multiple magazines and DVDs on it as well as a lifesized woollen sheep. My parents don't like me to bath or shower though :S

They also reject God just because they are attracted to people of both genders and that there's no "scientific proof" that God exists. And the people they look up to! Ugh! What's so great about a self-centered transsexual and a hateful animal rights activist?


Are you talking about me? While I admit it's stupid to become an athiest without thinking about the issue, it's equally stupid to come to the conclusion that the god of the Bible is god. There's a lot of good arguments for a god, from the order, apparent purpose and beauty in the universe and the fact that something had to cause the universe to be in the first place to the seeming existance of transidential morality (which don't sway me but I could be wrong), NONE OF THEM say anything more than there must be a creator, designor or sustainer. Saying he objects to this or that, or he chose this people or that people to be his 'special' people, requires blind faith to believe. If that makes people feel better, thinking their god will judge the wicked and could perform miraicles, fine, it just doesn't have any evidence for it. Don't use scripture as evidence, because many religions (truely contradictory ones at that) have scriptures which they claim are divinely inspired, from Alister Crowley's occultism to Scientology (I think they claim to be inspired...). You can't prove or disprove god by science, but as Dawkins said, that doesn't matter. It's best to be an agnostic but don't act like this god or that exists, because we can live without following these laws and rules which may or may not be true and we could never say are or are not. Unless it helps to follow them, but don't say there's any other basis than that you like those ruels. Sorry to rant like this but that was pretty offensive to mah beliefs (or lack therof) even though I agree that whiney 'don't persecute meeeeeee' emos who use the lack of evidence for god as proof he doesn't exist, are annoying as evangelists of other faiths. There IS enough evidence against the kind of god the Bible calls for, and it isn't scientific; it's the old yet still urefuted, without either limiting god in power or understanding or making him malicious, peoblem of evil. If he does exist, and made the evils in the world (even if he though free will was worth it) i don't want to spend eternity with him, i'd prefer to burn with the other 'siners' (problem of hell and judgment too).

I've seen as many of the alternative interpritations of the biblical passages dealing with homosexuality and bisexuality as I could hope to see, and while a lot of them are fairly convincing, some parts of the Bible (the reference in Jude) require twisting so much that it's impossible to say these parts don't show a condemnation of homosexuality without tearing away the divine origin of the book. It's impossible to say the early church fathers (Which some consider canonical) arn't againts homosexuality (as well as sex in general, the old prudes!), so for me at least, it is impossible to believe in the god of judeo/christianity and be attracted to others of the same sex. I know 'orientation' wasn't known about in ancient times (even by mosses and Paul?) but I think Mosses, on his past record of condemning the short-sighted and those with skin diseases, would condemn those with a genetic attraction. The LGBT church movment is annoying to me, because the church clearly wants to damn them to hell, so why worship from such a bible? Why not become Buddhists or something that's more accepting, and more moral and logical to boot? It doesn't bother me but surely they could campaign for rights in other areas?

I hate peter singer too (i assume that's the animal rights heartless bastard) but who's the transvestite? Not Dawkins or Hume? GAH! I be teh new kylikins :P
Last edited by superiorsavior on Tue May 27, 2008 12:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby Kelly MacCornmac » Tue May 27, 2008 12:27 am

I'm sorry that I've been gone for a few weeks, we had to get ready for my grad party.

My Arm: Okay...I got my shots last Wed, and still the arm is sore, bruised, and has two knots in it. The last at being about 2 weeks ago, on a Monday. My left arm was sore 2 days after getting the Mon. shot and I didn't even want to move it, it hurts even if it just rubs against clothing or flexes slightly. I skipped Wed/Fri shots (have to go twice a week) and went on Wed to get the shot.

Mom called them and told them my arm was sore and they told her to have me take beneryl (no good sleeping while driving, also sp). I told the nurse that the knot was still there, but she didn't even feel it to see if it's okay!

Then when I got my 2nd knot, mom called them again and they said it was because I was tenceing up! >< How in the world would it be a knot in the left but in the right if I'm tensing up? And couldn't they tell? Its so surprising that they want nothing to think it is thier fault. :roll:

Before Party
I had to do so much work. I had to get wood from the outhouse, burn it, get eveything that is out and put into the barn. Clean and move stuff so it looks nicer, clean my room (never got finished). Clean around the burn barrlel, and I think more. The day before was grad. and I had to work around the yard to.

School
Well...I skip out from most drama by not making friends at school, exept a few times. No one really tries to label me now because I typically ignore them. Espesially at lunch because my school somehow allows cell phones and electronics at lunch...meaning ds time...only good part in the day. After school, I typically lounge around until one of my parents come home and I do chores. Oh yea...don't have to worry about finals, already did them.


Other...
Well, I guess since this is the whining thread...I hate the heat, I can't stand more than 80's without sweating, and I would prefer to stay cool and go to Canada. Also, I'm bored...I should REALLY need to put my drawings up, just didn't quite have the chance yet...
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Re: Woe is Me- a whining/venting thread

Postby superiorsavior » Tue May 27, 2008 1:23 am

Well...I skip out from most drama by not making friends at school, exept a few times.

Reason no. 1 to be glad i have so few friends :P
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