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I break your neck and burn your body.

Mr. Flibble is very cross...

I just caught a strange otherworldly virus, and I channel my newfound powers through my penguin puppet. You see both our eyes glowing red, and that's all you're able to see before you're disintegrated.

There's one you can appreciate.

I cut the tendons in your arms with Mr.knify-wifey, so you can't move, put you in the toilet and drown you in my pee-pee!

I rip off your eyelids very slowly and painfully before dousing them with gasoline and putting my cigarette out with them. Your eyes melt and you run around in pain, before I get tired of laughing at that sight and just shoot you in the head.

I force a whole bottle of bleach down your gullet and watch you melt. I then shovel up all that fleshy goo and stuff it on top of your garbage can load. I set up a video camera nearby, just so I can see the look on your trash collector's face when he opens the lid.

I fly you to Ireland to meet me... you kill yourself within the day.

Phooey, I got one up on you! I get you airfare to the US, but your plane lands in one of the dry counties in Utah! You end up taking your own life out of frustration.

I touch you in the neck with my scary bony fingernail.

Ooh, thanks, man! I had the worst itch right...bleah!

As my spirit leaves my mortal body, I find my way up your nose and into your brain. There I find the center of your nervous system and control that finger to cut deep into your stomach and rip upwards, gutting you like a fish. You plop to the ground in a dead, chunk-laden heap, and I soon leave your body looking for more people to "assist suicide."

I leave a coppy of Mario with a small child living in the same world as you. The corruption instilled by that game's cruelty to Koopas FORCES the kid to buy a pair of iron boots and stomp you half to death when he's older (12). As you lay battered and bleeding, I drive the ambulance to pick you up and run you over, not killing you but leaving a HUGE gash, which I promply blow and insert my Zelda cartridge deep inside, ramming it through your still beating heart. You my good sir, are now no moar!

As you are taking the first sip of your morning coffee, I steady the crosshairs on your head and slowly squeeze the trigger from two miles away. You spill your coffee and jump up just in time to miss the
308. bullet that barely misses your skull. I sigh, then press the button that intiates plan b. Which means a 1,000 ton smart bomb homes in on your heat signature and blows everything within a 250 meter radius to hell.

You're asleep quick jerk of the of the neck, never feel a thing.

I knock you out and draw loads of anti-arabic pictures all over you, then air lift you to Al-Queda central/the white house. Alternartively, I tell the antideformation league you said a naughty word. Others will do the torture/killing.

I knock you out and dress you up to look like Bin Laden (even with a fake beard.) I take a small American flag (that you can hold in one hand) and burn it a bit and then blow it out. Then I write the words "Death To America" and "Jesus is dead / Allah is God" on your back. Then I put a copy of the Koran in your other hand and we go for a ride to Alabama.

It's Saturday night at 10:00 and we reach a country bar out in some backwoods hick town . The place is wall-to-wall rednecks and hillbillys drinking heavily. You're still unconscious, so I drag your body up to the front door, Walk up to the bar, dragging you behind me.

I approach the biggest and stupidest looking guy I can find and say in a southern accent, "I caught this here sumbitch terrist tryin' to blow up your pickup! I punched the dirty sumbitch out and figgered maybe you and your boys would like to have at this terrist pile o' crap. Well, gotta run. See ya."

Then I run out the door and drive north.

I tie a chainsaw to a ceiling fan and turn them both on, then shove you in the room until I hear one bloody thwack and splatter. We then go to a hospital where you are nearly saved but a simple unsanitized scalpel infects your heart with some rare unkown disease and you die of heart infection.

No offense.