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I think it's time to introduce you to my friend, Mister Bonestripper


God I love me the hell out of that movie.

I bite you and you turn into a sasquatch, then people hunt you down and you make a very nice rug by the fire.

I throw you off a cliff, but to be more creative, I kill you by tying a rope around your neck and onto a tree, and THEN throwing you off a cliff.

Drown you in a huge bowl of tomatosoup

I give you AIDS and indigestion. Then I tie you up with a string made of bats, which itch you until you use your tongue to attack your brain from the inside. Now brain damaged, you're very suggestive, and I convince you to turn yourself into breast implants and surgically insert yourself into George Bush.

I make you OD with chop sticks.

I go insane from reading KKA's post, and start wildly swinging knives, machetes, and other random sharp objects in your general direction. Should you get died, :/ your fault.

I drown you with a super soaker haha

Death by chocolate. Genetically engineered chocolate, spliced with piranhas!