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Jay C
Posts: 4299
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 4:33 pm

Postby Jay C » Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:08 pm

(2 months, 1 week and 2 days after ordering room service, James finally gives up hope of getting some 'f*cking service of room'. Since then, James has improved in all known ways of brilliance, including sense of humor, wittyness and overall pwnage. Standing up, he makes his way over to his suitcase, and pulls out a black suit, a white shirt, a red tie, fibrewire, black Gucci shoes, holster and his trusted SilverBallers. He dresses, slowly, then makes his way out of his room.)

"Paddy, age... 16... description... always wears a ski mask, black clothes. Now... Mr. Norinco... meet your death."

And with a swift movement, he slips out of his room, closing the door behind him and makes his way down the corridor.
Read my horrible webcomic you fat assh*le!
tweekedkenny
Posts: 647
Joined: Sun Mar 12, 2006 4:28 pm

Postby tweekedkenny » Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:25 pm

I manage to find a room. I walk into my room to find it is the host of a porno. Instead of complaining, I watch and get a complementary DVD of it from the director. After watching that, I unpack things. I pull out golf clubs, my iPod, a laptop, swimsuit, my band tees, my shorts, my shoes, a Big Mac, and Chewbacca. Me and Chewbacca then play ping-pong and swim in the pool. Sadly Chewbacca had to visit the Ewoks so I go back to my room and watch South park via internet on my laptop.
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EPAF
Posts: 1788
Joined: Wed May 17, 2006 6:29 pm

Postby EPAF » Mon Jul 17, 2006 6:36 pm

It's been about three or so minutes since I left my hotel room and I'm still walking through these hotel corridors; as if they last forever. As I'm walking, I'm miming the lyrics to the song that's currently playing on my iRiver; Fatboy Slim - Champion Sound.

"Excuse me, cleaning lady person." I say to (obviously) a cleaner who's in the corridor. "I was wondering if you could help me for a minute, I'm looking for someone who has a spare pair of embarrassingly large headphones. You wouldn't happen to have any would you?"
"NO! But I know someone who does."
"Who?"
"Some geezer from Liverpool I believe has some headphone thingys. I think his name was James. He should be down one of these corridors somewhere."
"Oh, OK, cheers mate.....errr...I mean mate..ress....or whatever."
"Oh lad, be careful, that guy has a pair of guns on him. I'd make sure not to piss him off."
"OK, cheers."

As I walk off, the thought of a guy with guns reminds me of the tune 'Kids With Guns'; at which I start singing the lyrics to it to myself.
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crazyQH wrote:Ok EPAF, I'm officially granting you the title of having the best dream ever.
bugzbunnie6
Posts: 1980
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:21 am

Postby bugzbunnie6 » Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:48 am

*Amber manages to reach the remote and turns on the cooking channel. There is a French chef on the television, showing how to fry... Goldfish!!*
I *Heart* You.
spazmagee
Posts: 771
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2005 12:21 am

Postby spazmagee » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:10 am

*karli smiles with pride at her Magic Marker masterpiece and holds it up for Amber to see* "Look! I drew a pony!" *the noise of the television gets karli's attention* "Aww... can you change it to Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends? Oh...wait... OH! I see what you're doing! Quick thinking."
thejew36
Posts: 126
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 10:25 pm

Postby thejew36 » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:11 am

Thejew36: "Nice hotel" all the time wondering how grandma had been able to afford sending me to this hotel just for our family reunion but it soon slipped my mind once i started to flip through the channels on tv and started watching one of my fav South Park episodes on Comedy Central "Scott Tenorman Must Die"
Kelly MacCornmac
Posts: 6142
Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2005 3:05 am

Postby Kelly MacCornmac » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:19 am

Kelly all the sudden finds the hotel full after the days she was gone. She came up to the counter and got the same room, 13th room on the 13th floor. She looks around and sees it packed full of people she did and didn't know. She desides to go to the stairs to her room.

Because she had no clue what was going on she got to her room and closed the door behind her. . .


Ok, I didn't read any of the posts above me after my last post here...
Causing havoc on the BBS one post at a time

Officially supports the de-perma of GTA, Mike, Cartman, and possibly others


SPU! Join it!
bugzbunnie6
Posts: 1980
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:21 am

Postby bugzbunnie6 » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:31 am

*Amber looks over at the drawing, and her eyes fill with tears* It's so... So... Beautiful!!!" *Amber then shakes her head, remembering what they have to do* "Hey, Fishy! Malachai! Can you come here for a minute?"
I *Heart* You.
spazmagee
Posts: 771
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2005 12:21 am

Postby spazmagee » Tue Jul 18, 2006 4:44 am

*Fishy and Malachai swim into the room. Their eyes widen as they see the Chef chop of fish. Karli continues to draw with magic markers*
megan*w
Posts: 908
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 6:42 pm

Postby megan*w » Tue Jul 18, 2006 7:05 am

*Megan walks into hotel and sees the bar*

Megan: Give me a shot of everything alcoholic you have.
Bar-man: How old are you?
Megan: 13
Bar-man: Ok, here you go.
Megan: Yay!!! I like this place!
bugzbunnie6
Posts: 1980
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:21 am

Postby bugzbunnie6 » Tue Jul 18, 2006 7:10 am

*Amber smiles* "I just thought that you'd like to see this, Malachai. Isn't it a great show?" *Amber hides the remote behind her back so he can't change it*
I *Heart* You.
spazmagee
Posts: 771
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2005 12:21 am

Postby spazmagee » Tue Jul 18, 2006 7:47 am

*Malachai and Fishy cry. For that was they're mommy! They run away from the television, Karli finishes her new drawing of a lovely princess* "Well, now that that's done, how do we get out of these ropes?"
Cedric Digsby
Posts: 291
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:15 am

Postby Cedric Digsby » Tue Jul 18, 2006 11:44 pm

In 2006, Cedric Digsby is convicted by a military court for a crime he did not commit. The charge? Using Arnold Schwarzenegger movie quotes in a restricted zone.

After exhausting all avenues of appeal and 37 Asian whores at the Trey Parker Memorial Brothel, Cedric is taken to prison. But this is no ordinary prison, it's cunningly disguised as a Hotel as part of a failed experimental prisoner rehabilitation program for the criminally stupid.

"Seems pleasant," muses Cedric, admiring the neo-Garrison architecture of the lobby. But he soon discovers that nearly all of the other inmates/guests are South Park fans who were slam-dunked at birth and have no discernible intelligence. One wing of inmates consists entirely of teenage girls capable only of chatting about fish and making childish drawings. Elsewhere, a Dutch girl takes gender-bending to a new level by trying to pitch a tent in a lift.

At the front desk, Cedric is asked to register for his cell, curiously referred to as a room. "Don't bother," he tells the clerk, "just have a bellhop carry my bags up."

"Sorry Sir," replies the clerk, "no bellhops in this hotel by order of Delition lest he succumb to temptation and his girlfriend leave him."

"The hell with it," says Cedric, "just show me to the bar."

Inside the bar, three repulsively drunk girls are using a Blind Hamster to destroy a grand piano. Nearby the piano is a statue of a pregnant penguin - apparently a former inmate who was raped by his crazed cellmate.

Ignoring the others, Cedric sits down alone and orders the first of many beers. Fortunately the slender barmaid is Japanese and willing to flirt in Indonesian sign-language.

Cedric asks to see a menu. "Sorry," says the barmaid, "but the only bar snacks are Stovepipe Jam Twinkies."

Cedric shudders and carries on drinking. Many hours later, he and the barmaid finally decide to head upstairs, pausing only to notice a masked suicide bomber entering the lobby. After a few seconds, Cedric realizes it's nobler to do nothing and allow the suicide bomber to rid the world of all these stupid South Park fans forever.

I love a happy ending.

Next Week: The BBS Brain Surgery Club.
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kenny'sdead233
Posts: 656
Joined: Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:37 am

Postby kenny'sdead233 » Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:54 am

after hearing the news that megan*w got drinks at the bar, i drop off my convo with my friend from school early and run at full speed to the bar.

me: can i have 3 beers please

bartender: sure... how old are you

me: uh 15??

Bartender laughs:wow i've heard of people lying about being older than they are, but never younger than they are!

me: dude i am 15

Bartender: sure sure

me: Give ME THE GODAMN BEER!!

Bartender: ok ok

i grab the beer and run back to my room and lock it.. time to experiment!!
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Jay C
Posts: 4299
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 4:33 pm

Postby Jay C » Wed Jul 19, 2006 12:00 pm

James reaches the door to room #410 (While quietly cursing his space bar.) and pulls out one of his SilverBallers. He quickly screws on a chrome silencer and loosens his tie slightly. Behind the door was possibly one of the most dangerous people in the world. Devon 'Paddy' Norinco.
"Here's your breakfast you f*cking rat." James mumbles before opening the door, with a keycard he had stolen from a now choked cleaning lady. He closes the shut but sees just an empty bed with no sign of occupation.
"Oh great." He says, putting his gun away and leaving the room.
Last edited by Jay C on Wed Jul 19, 2006 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Read my horrible webcomic you fat assh*le!

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