I'll go first....
Yo mama's so nasty she got fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job
Yo moma's so fat, when she stood on weighing scales, it said, to be continued!
Yo mama's so ugly she tried to enter an ugly contest but the judges turned her away because Professionals wern't allowed
Yo moma's so fat, when there was an all-you-can-eat buffet, they had to install speed bumps.
Yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her driving licence
Yo mama's so old she knew the dead sea when it was just ill
Yo mama's so fat, she puts jam on her asprin
Yo mama's so old she sat behing Moses in 3rd grade
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