Post a random Chuck Norris fact

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AngusMcTavish
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby AngusMcTavish » Sun Feb 10, 2008 12:35 am

Chuck Norris could do a one-punch Fatality to any Mortal Kombat character! No cheats, either!
Pip Tweek
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby Pip Tweek » Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:22 am

You could not beat Chuck Norris even in God Mode.

Chuck Norris went to Mount Rushmore and changed Lincoln's face to an exact likeness of his own face just as a joke. Then he took a picture of the "new" Mount Rushmore for posterity and then changed it back to Lincoln before anyone noticed.
AngusMcTavish
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby AngusMcTavish » Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:24 am

When Chuck Norris kicks you across the face, you don't really feel much of anything for the first two days, then it kicks in and you hurt like hell for a week!
BRMBug
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby BRMBug » Sun Feb 10, 2008 7:18 am

When Chuck goes fishing, he never takes a pole. The fish just fly into the boat at will.
marvel_freak_42
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:14 am

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
Thunderhorse
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby Thunderhorse » Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:34 pm

Once, Chuck Norris had a heart attack. His heart lost.

When Chuck Norris shadow boxes, his shadow loses.

Chuck Norris used to beat the sh*t out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

Chuck Norris once won the 1983 World Series of Poker with a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
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marvel_freak_42
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:44 pm

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
BRMBug
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Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:43 am

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby BRMBug » Tue Feb 12, 2008 8:44 pm

Some guys can open a beer bottle with their belly button. Chuck Norris can take the end off a keg with his torso.
marvel_freak_42
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:48 am

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
AngusMcTavish
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby AngusMcTavish » Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:50 am

What do you say to Chuck Norris if you should meet him on the street?

You couldn't. He'd run you over before you get the chance!

Next time, stay off the street! Use the sidewalk.
marvel_freak_42
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Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:55 pm

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:54 am

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
AngusMcTavish
Posts: 8959
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 6:52 am

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby AngusMcTavish » Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:12 am

^ Good one!

Chuck Norris has no weaknesses. He developed an immunity to every single thing under the sun at the age of two...

...days!
Thunderhorse
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby Thunderhorse » Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:29 pm

When Chuck Norris is giving you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have to live.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

There's no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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love*metal
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby love*metal » Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:12 pm

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
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AngusMcTavish
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby AngusMcTavish » Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:23 am

Chuck Norris runs a fighting tournament league, but does not participate himself.

It wouldn't be fair to the other competitors.

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