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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:15 am
by marvel_freak_42
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:19 am
by AngusMcTavish
What would Chuck Norris do
If he was here right now?
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Chuck Norris would do!

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:20 am
by marvel_freak_42
AngusMcTavish wrote:What would Chuck Norris do
If he was here right now?
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Chuck Norris would do!


Oh damn! :D

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:36 pm
by Pip Tweek
marvel_freak_42 wrote:Chuck Norris can divide by zero.


I love that one.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity - twice!

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:55 am
by marvel_freak_42
Jesus walked on water... Chuck Norris walked on Jesus.

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:07 am
by AngusMcTavish
Chuck also answers to "Boris Norris."

But not very well.

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:21 am
by marvel_freak_42
There is no "ctrl" key on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck is always in control.

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:29 am
by AngusMcTavish
Chuck Norris for President!

Forget the Democrats. Forget the Republicans. He's his own party!

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:42 pm
by marvel_freak_42
AngusMcTavish wrote:Chuck Norris for President!

Forget the Democrats. Forget the Republicans. He's his own party!


Like Dick Cheney's his own branch?

Chuck Norris can't do pushups, because he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down.

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 10:35 pm
by Thunderhorse
AngusMcTavish wrote:Chuck Norris for President!

Forget the Democrats. Forget the Republicans. He's his own party!


Contrary to popular belief, The government of the United States is not a Democracy, it's a Chucktatorship.

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:12 am
by Pip Tweek
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:24 am
by Thunderhorse
Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete.

Chuck Norris can make a Snowman with rain.

Some leading hand sanitizers claim to be able to kill %99.9 of germs. Chuck Norris can kill %100 of anything he wants to.

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:34 am
by Pip Tweek
God created the Universe in six days. Chuck Norris created a larger, more complex universe in three days just to piss God off.

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 3:32 am
by AngusMcTavish
Get crapped on by a bird? Give Chuck Norris a call, and he'll bring you back that bird, roasted the way you like it.

Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 5:16 am
by BRMBug
Chuck Norris doesn't need Burger King. He can have it his way anywhere he damn well pleases.

...Yeah, that seems slightly weak.


Oh, get this; I was sleeping yesterday with my clock radio tuned to The Ticket, and the Rangers had a press conference to announce that Nolan Ryan had been hired on as club president. Well, I dreamed that I was at a press conference for Chuck Norris, and the Board operator for the show carrying the press conference was there recording it using an old tape recorder. I was there trying to record it using a boombox, but I couldn't figure out how to use it, and kept turning on the radio. Everyone kept giving me dirty looks, and I was afraid that Chuck was going to leap over the podium and kick my ass for interrupting.