South Park Pilot info and history plus script

[datadragon]

I. South Park History 1. Who's responsible for this?
Blame it all on Trey Parker and Matt Stone! Well, them and the crew. Trey and Matt created the whole South Park idea in 1995, but that's discussed later. Here's some info on the two: Trey Parker-Originally a student of music, director Trey Parker transferred from the prestigious Berklee School of Music to Colorado University to study film, and it was there he gave birth to his twisted brainchild "Cannibal: The Musical". Parker not only wrote, produced, directed and played the leading role in the film, but also wrote the songs and collaborated on the score. He is 27.
Matt Stone-He worked on "Cannibal: The Musical" with Trey. The two of them both grew up in South Park, CO.
2. Where can I watch South Park?
In the US you can tune in to South Park every Wednesday at 10:00 PM (both coasts) on Comedy Central. In the UK, Sky One shows South Park every Sunday at 11:00pm and Mondays at 10:00pm. If you don't have satellite/digital/cable, Channel 4 will be showing the second series sometime in Spring 1999.
3. How did South Park originate?
In December of 1995, Brian Graden, then a Fox TV exec with a taste for edgy material, wanted to send out a video holiday card. He remembered a demented fable called "The Spirit of Christmas" animated with construction paper and sick jokes by two broke twentysomethings in his stable of eccentric talent. He paid them to do an upgraded version of the twisted little 'toon - in which Santa Claus and Jesus kung-fu fight each other while foulmouthed youngsters cheer them on - and sent tapes all over Hollywood. George Clooney got on and made copies for 150 of his close personal friends. bootlegs spread to New York, Silicon Valley, the Internet. The band Tool showed "Spirit" between sets. The absence of credits on the video only added to its underground mystique.
Two and a half years later, "The Spirit of Christmas" has made its inexorable way to the mainstream as South Park, an animated series starting next month on Comedy Central. The series' creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, are no longer broke. Before accepting Comedy Central's offer, they turned down development deals by almost every major studio: New Line, Warner Brothers, DreamWorks. One producer offered them "Barney: The Movie," a ludicrous assignment for the two guys responsible for the darkest Christmas cartoon ever made. But it's a mark of how fast they've gone from nobodies who couldn't get their phone calls returned to two of the hottest "creatives" in Hollywood. As Parker says, "It's been quite a ride."
4. What is the Spirit of Christmas(soxmas)?
I think we already answered that one, but what the hell. The Spirit of Christmas, also known as SOXMAS, is an underground, or "bootleg" if you will, cartoon created by Trey and Matt. It contains Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, and Stan, just like the series. The cartoon featured Jesus and Santa Claus fighting because they thought that each of them were ruining "The Spirit of Christmas". Jesus thought it was about celebrating his birth, while Santa thought it was for giving. I can't say anymore without giving it away. But hell, here's the dialogue. Skip this if you don't want to ruin it for yourself.
5. What is the script for SOXMAS?
[Music. Scene Snowy hill.] Kids: We wish you a merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas-- Stan: What? wait a minute.
Kyle: What?
Stan: Aren't you Jewish, Kyle?
Kyle: Yeah, I think so.
Stan: Dude, Jewish people don't celebrate Christmas.
Kyle: What?
Stan: You're supposed to sing Hanukkah songs!
Kyle: "Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, Dreidel dreidel dreidel--" Stan: That's a stupid song.
Cartman: Yeah, Hanukkah sucks.
Kyle: Don't you oppress me, fat boy.
Cartman: Don't call me fat, buttfucker.
Kyle: Then don't belittle my people you f*ckin' fatass!
Cartman: Goddammit don't call me fat you buttfuckin' son-of-a-bitch!
[Jesus floats down from the sky.] Kyle: What the-- Kenny: (zips up hood) Jesus: Behold my glory.
Stan: Holy sh*t, it's Jesus!
Cartman: What are you doing in South Park, Jesus?
Jesus: I come seeking...retribution.
Stan: *gasp* He's come to kill you coz you're Jewish, Kyle!
Kyle: Oh, f*ck! I'm sorry, Jesus. Don't kill me.
Jesus: Nay, fear not. I love All My Children.
Kyle: *whew* Jesus: Tomorrow is my birthday. Yet all is not right.
Stan: Your birthday is on Christmas? That sucks, dude.
Jesus: I must find a place called "The Mall".
Kyle: Well we can take you to the mall, Jesus.
Stan: Yeah! It's over this way.
[Kyle and Kenny exit] Cartman: *ugh* Goddammit, you stepped on my foot you pigf*cker.
Stan: Dude, don't say pigf*cker in front of Jesus.
[Stan exits] Cartman: Eh, f*ck you.
[Scene: Buildings. Music.] Stan: Here we are Jesus, South Park Mall. Who are you looking for?
Jesus: Him!
Santa: Ho ho ho. We meet again, Jesus.
Jesus: You have blemished the meaning of Christmas for the last time, Kringle.
Santa: I bring happiness and love to children all over the world.
Jesus: Christmas is for celebrating my birth.
Santa: Christmas is for giving.
Jesus: I'm here to put an end to your blasphemy.
Santa: This time we finish it. [stands] There can be only one.
Stan: Dude, this is pretty f*cked up right here.
[Jesus and Santa fight] Kids: Go Santa! [Jesus looks at them] Uh, go Jesus!
[Jesus and Santa fight more, Mortal Kombat style.] Kyle: Oh my god! They killed Kenny!
Jesus: Boys, help me put an end to him once and for all.
Santa: No, boys, help me, so that I can put an end to him.
Jesus: God is watching you, boys. You know who to help.
Santa: Stan, remember the choo-choo when you were three?
Jesus: I died for your sins, boys. Don't forget that.
Stan: I don't know what to do, dude. Who should we help?
Cartman: I say we help Santa Claus.
Kyle: Eh, you're just saying that because he brings you candy.
Cartman: Hey! I don't need to take that kinda sh*t from a Jew.
Kyle: You're such a fat f*ck, Cartman, that when you walk down the street people go GODDAMMIT that kid's a BIG FAT f*ck.
Cartman: Oh yeah? Well listen up...
Santa: Buttfuckin...
Kyle: I'm not the buttfucker, you're the buttfucker...
Stan: Wait, wait, just a second. Now we've got to think here. Now let's see. What would Brian Boitano do?
Cartman: Yeah. What would Brian Boitano do?
[Music. Brian Boitano appears.] Brian: Did someone say my name?
Cartman: Brian Boitano!
Kyle: What incredible irony!
Cartman: Yeah, it's Brian Boitano!
Brian: What's going on, kids?
Stan: Okay, Brian? Who would you help in a fight, Jesus or Santa Claus?
Brian: Kids...you shouldn't think of things like that. This is the one time of year when we all try to get along, no matter what we believe in. This is the season just to be good to each other. Bi-eee!
[Brian skates away.] Jesus: You f*ckin' pussy!
Santa: C'mere! Come on!
Stan: Hey, Jesus! You have to understand that Santa is keeping the spirit of your birthday alive by bringing happiness and joy.
Kyle: Yeah. And Santa, you need to remember that if it weren't for Jesus, this day wouldn't even exist!
Santa: You're right kids. I'm sorry Jesus.
Jesus: No, no. It's me who should be sorry. I've been a right bastard. I'm sorry Kringle.
Ssant: Thank you boys.
Jesus: Yeah, thank you boys. Come on, Kringle, I'll buy you an Orange Smoothie.
Santa: Oooo!
Stan: *whew* That sucked.
Kyle: Yeah, but just think. Today we actually met--we actually spoke--to _the_ Brian Boitano.
Stan:Yeah. And you know? I think I learned something today, it doesn't matter if you're Christian or Jewish or Atheist or Hindu. Christmas still is about one very important thing: Cartman: Yeah, ham.
Stan: No not ham, you fat f*ck!
Cartman: f*ck you!
Stan: Christmas is about something much more important.
Kyle: What?
Stan: Presents.
Kyle: Ah.
Stan: Don't you see, Kyle? Presents.
Kyle: Hey man, if you're Jewish you get presents for eight days.
Stan: Wow, really? Count me in.
Cartman: Yeah, I'll be a Jew too.
Kids: [leaving] "Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, Dreidel dreidel dreidel, With dreidel I will play!", [Sign: "El Fin". Blackout.] II. The Characters 1. Eric Cartman a. Likes- He likes cheesy poofs, Chocolate Chicken Pot Pie, and lying. Generally, he loves to eat.
b. Dislikes- He doesn't like being called fat, or at sometimes "His little friends".
c. Quirks- Cartman walks weird. In the pilot, he farted fire but that was because he had a probe up his ass.
d. Catch Phrases- "Kickass" and "I'm not fat, I'm big boned!" In the pilot he seemed to say, "Ow my ass!" a lot.
e. Role- Cartman is the fat kid, and he is teased about it constantly.
f. Attire- Blue Hat w/yellow puff, Red shirt, black pants.
g. Voice- Trey Parker 2. Kenny a. Likes- Hunting, talking dirty b. Dislikes- Being killed c. Quirks- Dies in every episode, sometimes more than once. Hard to understand because his voice is muffled by his hood.
d. Catch Phrases- None(but he likes to talk about perverted things. ) e. Role- The poor kid, unintelligent except when it comes to perverted issues. Dies every episode.
f. Attire- A brown hooded jacket g. Voice- Matt Stone 3. Kyle a. Likes- Though he does not show it, he is fond of his brother Ike. He likes foul language as well.
b. Dislikes- Aliens, Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat c. Quirks- Intelligence d. Catch Phrases- "Kick the baby" e. Role- The smart kid, seems to be the least clueless. The leader of the gang. He is also Jewish, and is teased about it, but is not sure what it means.
f. Attire- Black hat that covers ears, orange shirt, black pants, black mittens.
g. Voice- Matt Stone 4. Stan a. Likes- Wendy Testaburger, farting.
b. Dislikes- At some times Cartman c. Quirks- throws up whenever Wendy Testaburger talks to him.
d. Catch Phrases- None e. Role- The cute kid. He likes Wendy.
f. Attire- Blue and red hat, red puff, brown jacket, black pants g. Voice- Trey Parker 5. Minor Characters Chef: Voiced by Issac Hayes, Chef breaks into R + B songs with sexually explicit lyrics to help kids. Attire: usually an apron, normally reading "Chef". Catch Phrase: "Gotta help the children. . .".Drives a Town and Country. Moved to South Park from Florida due to the numerous alien sightings in South Park(he believes in them 100%).
Wendy Testaburger: The girl Stan likes. He throws up whenever she talks to him. She doesn't seem to care to much. She wears a beret. Catch Phrase: "Ewww."
Mrs. Cartman: Cartman's mom. Feeds Cartman anything. Overprotective. She is also somewhat braindead.
Pip: Pip is an English kid who appeared in the uncensored pilot. No one likes him. He can be seen in Episode 101 "Cartman gets an anal probe" as the kid who Cartman farts on and then runs around the room screaming.
Jimbo: Stan's uncle who enjoys hunting. Loves beer.
Ned: Jimbo's war friend, his voice is computerized. He's gotta use the cancer kazoo.
Ms. Crabtree: The bus driver, seems to yell a lot. Motto is "Shut up and Sit Down".
Officer Barbrady: An incompetent cop who is indenial. Motto is "To Patronize and Annoy".
Nurse McSchwartz: The school nurse who fixes everything with antiseptic and a bandaid.
The Fifth Graders: Bullies to the four kids.
Ike: Kyle's little brother, he is shaped like a football and has a mouth that goes all the way around his head. The result: the top half of his hangs in the middle of nowhere as he speaks.
Mr. Garrison: The schoolteacher who does all of his yelling through his alter-ego hand puppet, Mr. Hat. Incompetent.
III. Frequently Asked Questions 1. Who performs the main theme and what are the lyrics?
A. Primus, who just released their "Brown Album" perfomed it along with Les Claypool.
2. What is the Jesus Vs. Santa episode? Has it aired on TV?
A. The "Jesus Vs. Santa" episode is The Spirit Of Christmas! It has never aired on TV. Copies are available all over the Internet.
3. Where can I get some merchandise?
A. Two T-shirts are available at http://www.comedycentral.com/store. One is black, has Cartman on the front and reads @#$%!(Back: Kids say the darndest things), and the other is white and has a pic and reads "Oh My God! They Killed Kenny!"
4. Is it true that Shaft plays Chef?
A. No. Issac Hayes plays Chef, not Shaft. Issac Hayes wrote the theme for Shaft.
5. Is a premium network going to show an unedited version of the show?
A. They're aren't plans to, but keep your mind open to rumors.
6. Are there really cheesy poofs?
A. In real life? No. Go get some Cheetos and make believe.
7. I don't get the references to pussy in the pilot. Can you explain it to me.
A. (Sorry for the offensive slang) The first reference is in the cafeteria, and Wendy invites Stan to Stark's Pond after school. Kyle says, "Maybe you can kiss her", Cartman blurts, "Or slip her the tongue", and Kenny mumbles. Then Stan says, "How do you know she has a cat", and then Kenny starts to laugh. Then they all pick up on it. Pussy? Cat? Get it?
The second isn't actually a reference to puss, but it's when Cartman's cat is bugging him for some pie. Cartman yells to his mom, "Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!", and his mom replies, "Well then I know a certain kitty kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight!". The joke there is that if the cat was a dildo, then the mom would use it. Get it?
8. Is Kenny really talking?
A. Yeah! As someone said in the Comedy Central list, "Put your ear to the speaker until your brain adapts to the muffled voice. Use your imagination." You can also get an PalmPilot e-text of "What Kenny Says..." from http://come.to/grim-reaper 9. Where can I talk with other South Park fans?
A.You can join the Comedy Central South Park mailing list at http://www.comedycentral.com/southpark/booster/. Directions are there.
10. Is that Wendy Testaburger in The Spirit of Christmas sitting on Santa's lap?
A. One would assume so, huh? It's her if you think in terms of appearence, but no actual proof is given.
11. Does Kenny die in every episode?
A. Yep, sometimes multiple times per episode. At one point in an episode one of the kids actually says to him after his death, "Hey Kenny! Lookin' good!"
12. Where the hell can I get the SOXMAS?
A. The official distribution site of course! http://www.math.uiuc.edu/~tskirvin/soxmas/ Go to a mirror site there. It's a hefty 50 megs and might take awhile to download.
13. What are the lyrics to the theme song?
A. The lyrics are: Les Claypool: I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time Stan and Kyle: Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation Les Claypool :Goin' Down to South Park, gonna see if I can unwind Cartman: Ample parking day or night, people spouting "Howdy Neighbor!"
Les Claypool: Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind.
Kenny: I like girlies with titties, I like girlies with vaginas.
Les Claypool: Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine.

[Big-Will]

All good stuff, but why are you posting this stuff now? There are Web sites and wiki pages dedicated to this stuff already, and you're only up to Season 2.

[Raymond455]

Good Stuff..

[TheOneThatKnocks]

im gonna try some sort of karaoke with this now