How will the SP kids die?

Discuss South Park characters with all your friends, buddies and guys.

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Postby Kenny+Pip » Sat Sep 09, 2006 7:56 am

Stan:Dies of age
Kyle:Tortured by Cartman who is the next Hitler!
Cartman:Explodes after eating all you can eat 4 times.
Kenny:Commits suicide after all his friends are dead.
Timmy:Dies of being handicaped.(They dont last long.)
Jimmy:The same as Timmy
Pip:Gets shot after joning the english army trying to defeat cartmans army
Wendy:Dies of aids
Butters:Dies of cancer
Clyed:Dies of heppititus B
Tweek:Dies of drinking too much coffe
Craig:Dies of depression after his middle finger gets cut off!
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Postby EPAF » Sat Sep 09, 2006 11:32 am

Stan: Aged 79; commits suicide and jumps off a cliff on the West Coast of America due to the fact that none of his friends are alive and he's the only one left. That plus Stan becoming unable to live alone anymore.

Kyle: Aged 52; takes a bullet to the chest/heart in Los Angeles; thus saving Stan from getting shot by some mysterious hitman. One of the reasons why Stan kills himself 27 years later.

Cartman: Aged 29; gets shot by an angry Butters back in South Park(of all people) after a prank goes horribly wrong and kills Butters' parents along with the destruction of his home and all his belongings.

Kenny: Aged 78; out of nowhere, a giant Monty Python-like foot comes and squashes him. But unaware to everybody, Kenny just gets reincarnated as a younger self 2 years later. (with him being his 9 year old self again) Upon returning to Earth, he realises Stan has killed himself thinking he was the only one left alive. Kenny tries to kill himself time after time but keeps returning back as his 9 year old self everytime. Realising he'll never die permantly, Kenny leaves South Park and goes off on his own to an unknown destination. No one ever sees him again.

Butters: Aged 54; kills himself with a Magnum revolver that he was given by his employer after he realises he can't go on with the guilt that he accidently killed Kyle instead of another person. Although he didn't know at the time that he was supposed to actually kill Stan. Either way, he would have killed himself because of the guilt. During his past life decade, he's been a changed person and was hired as a Hitman by a secret American Government.

Tweek: Aged 63; dies of a heart attack. Doctors say an overloaded level of stress, worry, fear, anger and caffeine caused him to get several types of cancer; including Lung Cancer and Head Cancer. :lol:

Pip: Aged 41; gets KIA'd (Killed In Action) in Iraq (YEP, that stupid war will still be taking place by then) after being assigned the General leader of a British squadron to take out a resistance fort in Southern Iraq. Unfortunately the whole thing was a trick and all troops in the squad get killed.

^ I like to get creative through a story-style means. :D
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Postby ShaneHaughey » Mon Sep 11, 2006 12:13 am

Stan- As a member of the Army Rangers, he fights in the Northern European War in Sweden. He earns a Silver Star and during the First Treaty, he and his unit are transferred to the Pacific to prepare for an expected war with China. A month after he arrives, the Chinese attack. Stan and his company are transferred to Taiwan days before and assist the Taiwanesse in their defense. They are still overwhelmed, but Stan and his allies lead a three month war against the occupation. He is captured and tortured, and finally taken back to China before the Allies can re-take the Island nation. Stan dies in captivity and is never recovered at the age of 30.
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Postby UnkieHerb » Wed Sep 13, 2006 4:33 pm

Stan: Will end up exactly like Grandpa Marsh and evtually die of old age several decades after everyone else.

Kyle: He'll die of some disease, obviously.

Cartman: The U.S government will asassinate him in a bid to behead the We Hate Jew Rats anti-semetic cult.

Kenny: He'll keep on dying and coming back forever.
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Postby jawmht » Sat Sep 16, 2006 9:53 pm

Stan - Joins a cult and ends up in a mass suicide.

Kyle - Killed by angry man........For giving him AIDS

Cartman - Execution for killing Kenny

Kenny - Killed by Cartmen for a heart transplant

Butters - Jumped of building when Cartman told him to
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Postby redant11 » Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:23 am

kenny will never stay dead. he becomes alive again the next morning :unhoodedkenny:
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Postby blagardson » Fri Sep 29, 2006 12:45 am

Stan: old age at 92
Kyle: sucide of deppresion from stans death at 93
Cartman: heart attack at 50
Kenny: will keep on being resurected
Butters:Beaten to death by his dad at 19, right before he finishes college.
Tweek: underpants gnomes murder him at age 27
Timmy: his whellchair battery dies on a train track at 68
Jimmy: Someone throws a knife at him during his comedy act at age 89
Damien: embarresed by having a gay dad at 99
Satan: smited by jesus at 666
Wendy: will realize she never should have broken up with stan and commits sucide at 93
Clyde: raped by martin jefferson at 67
Craig:goes to mr.mackey office one too many times and is murderd at 10
Token: KKK at 58
Pip: people forget about him and he fades away
Last edited by blagardson on Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby matts_diva_bitch » Fri Sep 29, 2006 1:05 am

Stan: Dies of old age because he's so bloody normal.
Kyle: He lives forever because he's a jew, they live forever.
Cartman: Either dies of obeseity or Kyle eventually accidently kills him during a final showdown.
Kenny: Heart attack in the Playboy mansion, he sees too many naked women at once.
Timmy: His wife kills him because she can't stand him say 'TIMMAH!' so much.
Jimmy: Drug addiction.
Wendy: Kyle kills her for breaking Stan's heart. She dies at age 15.
Butters: Falls down a well and is never found.
Tweek: Eventually his ADD gets so bad he becomes deathly ill, he becomes really depressed and dies of caffine pill addiction.
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Postby misscutiepie1330 » Fri Sep 29, 2006 1:22 am

Stan: Dies of a fatal asthma attack. He dies at twenty.
Kyle: Dies of a broken heart because Stan died before him and he can't stand life without him.
Cartman: This ones a bit different.......His mom murders him because she is so god damn tired of his whining.
Kenny: Got shot by an angry dude because he caught Kenny making sweet love with his wife in his bed. A while after Kenny gets killed, the girl finds out that she's pregnant with Kenny's son\daughter (a little Jerry Springer\Maury for ya)
Tweek: Exploded because of the pressure and stress of working, fatherhood, husbandhood (I'll just call it that) and drank way too much coffee.
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Postby p0h3r » Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:27 am

1. Stan will be robbed and killed in the age of 34 by Kenny who becames a Serial Killer

2. Kyle becames a drug-addict (like many other happy children). He will die through OD.

3. Cartman's heart will stop at the age of 50 after he kills Kenny.
(Butters informs Cartman about that and then Kenny kill Butters)
4. Kenny knows that he will die and when he lose all friends he just shot himself with Sniper Rifle of Dragunov (SVD).

All other people died after nuclear blast, created by Giant Fart of Terrance and Phillip after 2 years
About f**king time
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Postby *Towlie* » Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:26 pm

they will die of old age :)
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Postby Sasa42 » Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:43 pm

I can't believe ass cancer hasn't been mentioned.
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Postby *Towlie* » Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:49 pm

no they will get killed by old people :lol:
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Postby Cerisa_Roz » Thu Oct 05, 2006 9:04 pm

Ooh..morbid! Hmm..let's see. Not all of these are my serious opinions, but stuff that I'm making up here as I go along..

Stan: I agree he'd probably be the 'last one standing', that is, besides Kenny. Not that he knows that, though. He eventually dies of old age, believing that he was the last of the four to go.

Kyle: Hate to say it, but I can see him biting it at a young age. Either by a disease or some 'unfortunate accident' engineered by Cartman, or a combination of the two. There's always the last laugh though when-

Cartman: Appears to get away with all his crimes and looks to be living a 'kick-ass' life. That is, until he dies on the toilet after a combination heart attack/sh*tting his intestines out from a disease he contracted from eating a bad burrito in the hospital ward of deathly-ill patients that Kyle was stationed at.

Either that, or Stan's son, or an illegitimate child of Kyle's that never got to meet his father, or both (in a teamup) go to take him down, only to get bored and leave. Cartman, wanting to finish the fight, ends up throwing a tantrum and getting crushed by falling through the floor and having the old rickety house they were facing off in come down on him.

Kenny: Appears to be killed off early on, though unbeknownst to Stan and the others, continues his cycle of living/dying, though his aging process has slowed down (leaving him looking to be somewhere in his late teens/early 20s or so). During Stan's last days alive, he reveals himself, only to be brushed off because he doesn't look to be 'Kenny's true age'. He realizes the irony of being the last boy standing, and leaves to start his OWN adventure with three other guys. Thus ends the 'old' South Park and a new legacy begins..

Wendy: Dies in her '30s, cause believed to be a brain aneurysm. She's survived by her two young children.

Tweek: Is driven insane by the deaths of his friends over the years, until he 'frees' himself by committing suicide in a drug overdose.

Jimmy: Ran over by a wheelchair-delivery truck while trying to tell one of his jokes and not getting out of the street, despite the warnings of his friends

Butters: He actually lives into his late '60s, though his mind is pretty scarred by all the events and he's left shaken by all his friends (and buds Pip and Tweek) 'abandoning' him. A heart attack eventually claims him.

Pip: Dies sometime in his '40s in a bus accident

Bebe: Somewhere in her '50s, cancer.

Timmy: Drives his wheelchair into a lake. Or was he pushed?

That's all for now..
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Postby Czul_kitty » Mon Oct 09, 2006 7:53 pm

Stan :stanpuke: : Falls out of a tree, breaks his back, causing his friends to decide that he would be happier dead than paralysed.
Kyle...hmm no Kyle smilies, oh well: Racked with guilt after deciding to kill Stan, he takes an overdose of LSD and dies.
Cartman :cartmanevillaugh: : He will die of heart disease and go to hell, where he will meet Hitler, try to make friends with him, but Hitler will kill him. Of course as he's already dead, he'll just go back to hell. This will happen every day.
Kenny :unhoodedkenny: : Kenny will fall in love with a serial killer, who will then murder him and use his hair to stuff a pillow.

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