Stan: Mr. Harrison said that I should be followng Heavenly Father's plan, and I don't even know what that is.
Randy: [rises and moves towards the front door] All right, that does it!
Sharon: Where are you going?
Randy: I'm gonna go have a talk with this "Mr. Harrison." [grabs his coat from the coat rack and puts it on] If he thinks he can fill my son's head with wacko religious crap, he's wrong! [drinks the last of his beer]
Sharon: Randy, don't cause trouble.
Randy: Let me handle this, Sharon. You gotta put these cult people in their place or else they never stop! I'm gonna go kick this Mr. Garrison's ass! [exits and slams the door shut, but quickly returns] This, Mr. Garrison is, is a white guy, right?
Randy: [confidence restored] Yeah, I'm gonna go kick his ass! [slams the door]
"A haiku is just like a normal American poem except it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid."
"Oh no! Not Santa's balls!"
"Dammit, monster, I ain't givin you no treefiddy."
Fave ep: ESM Season 12,Sec fave: Butterballs Season 16
Stan: Yeah, how'd you know?
Randy: That's how I met your mother.
And in the episode where everyone was self-exploding by holding in their farts, Randy was able to solve the mystery because:
"I am a geologist"
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