That f*cking Island- A joint story with you!

Put your fan fiction here, and keep it nice.

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ShaneHaughey
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That f*cking Island- A joint story with you!

Postby ShaneHaughey » Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:57 pm

I had a good idea, but alas I have time not. The idea is that the kids are involved in some sort of airplane crash- whatever disaster you want, really- and are stranded on an remote island in the pacific.
Now, why is there no story here? Because anyone can write a part. My only rules are that they must be longer than one sentence, must stay on topic, and you may only post once an hour. Fair rules, it seems. So, let us begin, eh? I'll lay down the geography.

(A satellite image of the island. It is shaped like a hand balled into a fist, save two fingers which are out in a claw-like fashion. A river runs into the island through the claw-like fingers into a lake in the middle of the island. It is flanked to the east by a single, long mountain range which stretches straight into the sea, ending in a massive cliff. To the west it starts out much the same, except another mountain range juts out about three-fourths of the way through, heading south west. Both end about three-hundred yards away from the ocean. The south of the river is a jungle most of the way, stopping short not just of the seam, but of a cave system which extends dozens of meters underground. North of the river lies a small forest, much less dense than the one south. It stops abruptly and leads back into the ocean. There are two shallow sandbars which extend straight towards the claws of the hand, which extend further out into the ocean. The entire Island is covered with vegetation, and the squawks of wild birds, the roars of strange beasts and the flames of a new crash can be heard and seen across the Island, which measures about 14.5 miles by 10.)
(Welcome to Isle Del Fucko.)
That's how it's down here on the farm!
Naivok
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Postby Naivok » Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:06 pm

Butters hobbles out of the flames. He looks around for the other kids but can't seem to find them anywhere. Realizing that no one else is around, Butters drops his pants and begins playing with himself.
Darth Chef: Hello there children, how would you like to suck on my chocolate salty balls.

SAC Leader: You mean like a chocolate candy?

Darth Chef: No, I mean my balls!!
M00ndragon69
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Postby M00ndragon69 » Wed Dec 07, 2005 10:53 pm

" Butters, what the f*ck are you doing?!!!!!"

Butters quickly pulled his pants up, and looked behind him. It was none other than Cartman.

"Gee Eric, I am glad to see you. I thought I was the only one who survived the crash."

"Shut up Butters.."
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Unhooded Kenny
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Postby Unhooded Kenny » Thu Dec 08, 2005 7:37 am

Then Kenny came out of the wreckege holding his coat, or what was left of it, in his arms. His coat got charred because he had to fan the flames with it so he and the others could get out safely.

Kenny- The fire is out, I think everyone is safe.

Then Stan and Kyle come out of the wreckage followed by Tweek.

Tweek- Why did the pilot eject himself and leave us up there? Ahhhh, it's way too much pressure being a pilot.

Stan- Without you, Tweek, we may have all been killed.

Kyle- and don't forget Kenny for putting out the fire.

Kenny- Luckily I had to go to the bathroom real bad.

Cartman- Oh great now I have Kenny's pee all over me!
AngusMcTavish
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Postby AngusMcTavish » Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:01 am

Stan: So, now what do we do?

Kyle: Well, they never taught us about island survival in school, but I think the first thing we ought to do is search the plane for any emergency provisions. We need enough food, water and any other supplies to last us a while.

Cartman: Uhh, emergency food??

Kyle (slowly turning around to face Cartman): What--did--you--do--fat--boy?!

Cartman: Uhh, well...I...got hungry on the trip???

Tweek: AAH! He's gonna kill us all!

Cartman: Oh, shut up, Tweek. At least we have plenty of water out nyar.

Kyle: No, that's ocean water. We need it fresh and clean, or did you polish that off as well, you piece of manatee sh*t?!
ShaneHaughey
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Postby ShaneHaughey » Mon Dec 12, 2005 11:34 pm

Butters: H-Hey, shouldn't we look for other survivors?
(Cartman thinks thoughtfully, then smiles.)
Cartman- (Smiling) Yes, let's look for survivors.
(They start walking into the wreckage, looking for both twitching limbs and food.)

(Across the Island. A body is washed up on the beach. From the perspective of the person, we see their eyes open.)
Person- Ughhh.....where am I?
(We see that it is Wendy. She is pretty torn up and bloody. She looks around her and sees that she is on an Island of some sort.)
Wendy- What the....? At least I survived the crash....but where is everyone else?
That's how it's down here on the farm!
M00ndragon69
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Postby M00ndragon69 » Mon Dec 12, 2005 11:49 pm

Meanwhile, Cartman and Butters were walking around the beach. While Butters searched through the wreckage that had washed up, Cartman was turning over a plan in his mind..If he was going to be stuck in this f*cking island for who knows how long, damn it, he wasn't going to be bossed around by Stan and Kyle..f*ck that, no, he was going to be incharge. He was going to have authoritah.
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AngusMcTavish
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Postby AngusMcTavish » Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:16 am

As Cartman plots, Kyle, Stan and Tweek start grabbing sticks, logs, anything they can find to form a "HELP" message for any passing boats, planes, whatever. It doesn't take that long for the three of them, and they take a moment to see if they formed it right.

Stan: Let's see here...yeah, there's the H...E...L...P...A...G...H...???

Kyle: Helpagh? What's that?

Tweek: AGH!

Stan and Kyle look at Tweek, then each other, and start laughing.

Kyle: Thanks, Tweek. After Cartman, I needed the laugh!

Stan: Yeah! Come on, let's fix the message.
Unhooded Kenny
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Postby Unhooded Kenny » Wed Dec 14, 2005 7:33 am

Meanwhile Kenny went looking for coconuts along the beach and he notices Wendy lying there.

Kenny- Hey Wendy!

Wendy- Hey, who are you?

Kenny- I'm Kenny. Don't you recognize me?

Wendy- Of course I do. I'm used to seeing you with your hood on.

Kenny- well my coat is history now, so I guess you'll have to get used to seeing me this way.

Wendy- I don't mind. I have a thing for blond boys. And are there any other survivors?

Kenny- Yeah come with me.
Agaath95
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Postby Agaath95 » Wed Dec 14, 2005 12:58 pm

Back at the place where Stan, Kyle and Tweek wrote the message in the sand. The boys are sitting in the shadow of a large tree,waiting for Kenny.

Stan: So...how long will it take before anyone finds us?

Kyle: I-I don't know.. But I’m sure they’ll send a search party after us…soon..

Tweek: Agh! We're all gonna die here!

Stan: (stands up) Well, we can't just sit on our asses all day! It’s time to do something!

Kyle: Stan’s right! Like I said earlier today: We need food. Since Lardbutt ate all the food left on the plane we have to search for it ourselves. Any volunteers? ( he looks from Stan to Tweek) Tweek, why don’t you go look for food?

Tweek: Me!? Oh God! That’s way too much pressure!

Stan: Don’t worry dude, I’ll go with you.

Kyle: Allright, I’ll wait here for Kenny.

As Stan and Tweek disappear in the forest, Kyle sits down on the ground. The heat makes him drowsy, and soon he falls asleep. After what seems like hours he is woken up by the sound of a breaking twig….
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ShaneHaughey
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Postby ShaneHaughey » Fri Dec 16, 2005 10:32 pm

(The middle of the Island, just south of the lake in-between the two mountain ranges. Another part of the plane is there, part of it is still on fire.)
Person- (Groans) oh, sh*t.....
(Someone moves out of it and falls down. It is Clyde, his left leg immobile.)
Clyde- motherf*cker....anyone else out there?!
(There are a few scattered groans from the wreckage. Clyde stands up, leaning against a tree as he moves toward the wreckage.)
(A scope. The sights are on Clyde's neck. We came into focus and see the gunman; white, no older than 20. He wears tattered clothing. Besides him are two more men, little difference exists between them. They both carry WWII vintage rifles, M1Garands. The man with the sniper rifle nods to the others, who bolt back into the forest....)

(The jungle. A small party of the Islanders, also armed with Rifles, are near a small clearing, big enough for a tent. Stan and Tweek come into view.)
Tweek- Gah! How are we supposed to find food here?
Stan- Look in the trees. I'm sure there is fruit or, I dunno, stuff up there.
Tweek- But what if there is some kind of vicious predator, waiting to end my life! Jesus Christ!
Stan- (Angry) Stop it Tweek. Let's just stay c-
(Two men pop out in front of Stan, Rifles pointed at him. Two more form behind Tweek, and one more on each of their sides.)
Man- Get down, boy-man!
Stan- Boy-man?
(The man fires a bullet that bounces off near Stan's foot.)
Stan- (As he falls down to the ground as ordered) Okay, I'm the boy-man.
Man#2- Sun-haired kid, down!
(Tweek does as told as the Islanders pull out ropes and tie Stan and Tweek up quickly. They then start to drag them off, two men pointing Rifles at Stan and Tweek as they are moved.)

(Kyle wakes up, startled by the sound of the twig. He looks around, but sees nothing. He wipes his eyes and yawns, but is cut short when strong hands come from behind. One has control of his neck, the other is wrapped around his mouth.)
Man- Boy-man, you no make noise when I release, grotch? Yea?
(Kyle nods feverishly. Two more men come from both sides and point their guns at Cartman, who is still unaware that anything is going on. The man lets go.)
Kyle- (Knowing what the men have in mind) Cartman, look out!
(Cartman looks in time to duck as two shots whiz close by him. The man gets angry and slams a large rock over Kyle's head and drags him off. Cartman is in the wreckage. The two other men go back into the jungle, already having wasted two bullets......)
That's how it's down here on the farm!
Naivok
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Postby Naivok » Sat Dec 17, 2005 4:24 pm

Butters: What the heck was that?! Where did everybody go? STAN!? KYLE?! ERIC?! hmm
perfect
*begins rubbing his hands together sinisterly*
*walks over to the side of a cliff, and pulls on a loose rock, the side of the cliff then flips around revealing a secret passage*
*Butters disappears into the passage*
*A few minutes later Professor Chaos emerges from the cliff and begins laughing as sinisterly as possible.*

Butters: Now, time to unleash my ultimate plan!

*Dramatic camera zoom on Prof. Chaos face*
Darth Chef: Hello there children, how would you like to suck on my chocolate salty balls.

SAC Leader: You mean like a chocolate candy?

Darth Chef: No, I mean my balls!!
ChaosKenny
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Postby ChaosKenny » Sat Dec 24, 2005 7:59 am

Kenny and Wendy walk together to where Stan and Kyle were.

Kenny: Where is everyone?

Cartman then climbs out from the wreckage.

Cartman: Kenny,where the hell are the coconuts you poor piece of sh*t.

Kenny: I didn't find coconuts but I found Wendy.

Cartman stares at the bloody,beat up Wendy.

Cartman: Is that really Wendy?
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AngusMcTavish
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Postby AngusMcTavish » Thu Dec 29, 2005 1:04 am

Wendy (sarcasm): "Is that really Wendy?" No, it's Tyra Banks--YES, IT'S ME, you fat retard!

Kenny: I heard some commotion just going into the bushes over there. (points to where Kyle was and notices drag marks) Uh oh, that's not good. Cartman, did you see anybody drag any of us away?

Cartman: Hell, no! If I'm told to watch out for anything, I'm going to where it's safe!

Wendy: Well, that figures.

Kenny: Okay, let's just settle down! It's obvious we're not alone here. We'd better stay close and try to find the others. And maybe whoever else is on the island left a clue around here.
juggaloblaine
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Postby juggaloblaine » Thu Dec 29, 2005 1:09 pm

(After walking a while and finding no one Kenny breaks the silence)

Kenny:Wheres the bathroom? I've gotta take a sh*t
Cartman:Nowhere we have to build one
(After Wendy,Cartman and Kenny bulid a decent stall Kenny runs in and takes a dump)
Kenny:Ahhh (farts) wait a sec theres no tiolet paper in here!
Wendy:I'll go find some leaves
(Wendy comes back with leaves)
Wendy:Here Kenny
Kenny:Thanks..uh oh theres also no flusher looks like were gonna have an outhouse
Cartman:Great now I've gotta look at poor sh*t when ever I go to the bathroom!
Wendy:Shut up Cartman
Kenny:Lets camp here tonight Cartman set up camp
Cartman:No
Wendy:Do it fat boy!
Cartman:Ok
Wendy:Hey Kenny can I speak with you over there
Kenny:Sure
(They walk a little ways)
Kenny:So wha-
(Wendy kisses Kenny)
Wendy I told you I had a thing for blonds
.....What......

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