*Kenny* I never knew you like me Wendy.
*Kenny kisses Wendy back*
*Kenny and Wendy start making out*
*Cartman* Oh my god,this is great.Who the f*ck am I supposed to talk to.
*Kenny pauses for a second*
*Kenny* Cartman you fatass,no one cares about you!
*Kenny and Wendy continue to make out*
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Kenny: I guess she wasn't lying when she said she had a thing for blonds...
*Wendy wakes up*
Wendy: Good morni-- what the hell?!
Kenny: It seems I got under your bra. And everything else.
*Wendy slaps Kenny in the face*
Cartman: What the HELL is going on?! Why didn't I get any action?
Kenny: Because you're a fat piece of sh*t, and you didn't even notice us!
Cartman: Well, I got so bored, I went looking around the island. Plus, I found someone to talk to...
*Cartman points to a guy with a rifle*
Kenny: What's he saying?
Cartman: Search me. I don't speak...uh...(to rifleman) What're you saying?
Rifleman: (shouts in own tongue and motions the three to get moving towards a deeper part of the jungle)
Kenny: Whoa! Okay, dude. Just calm down. Just let me find our clothes and...(rifleman whaps him with a burlap sack)
Rifleman: (continues shouting and motioning)
All start walking into jungle, first Wendy, then Kenny, Cartman and Rifleman.
Kenny: Cartman, where did you find this guy?
Cartman: He found me, are you kidding?
Wendy: Great! I'm stranded, I'm naked, and I'm probably about to be shot or cooked or...(sobs) I don't even want to know!!!
Kenny: Easy, Wendy. Maybe we'll find the others and they'll have an escape plan. (looks down a bit as they continue walking, thinking) Man, what a back bumper on her!
Wendy: That was way a long time ago, wasn't it?
Kenny: It was eight years ago. I'll never forget Kelly, my first crush.
Wendy: Whatever happened to her anyway?
Kenny: I dunno, we just drifted apart like you and Stan.
Wendy: Oh, I hope he's OK!
Cartman: And I hope they have chicken wings.
Kenny: You could probably last a year without food!
Cartman: Hey, why haven't you put your clothes back on?
Wendy: It's freakin' 101 degrees! To you, it should feel about 500!
Cartman: Damnit, now you reminded me! *sweats bullets*
Kenny, whispering to Wendy: Goddamn, he's so stupid, he forgot he was hot...
*Rifleman shoots Cartman near his feet, saying "Dance, fat kid!" in foreign dialect*
Cartman: Ahh!! Well, I've had enough. Screw you guys, I'm going back to the beach!
*Cartman runs back towards the beach, and the rifleman pursues*
Kenny: Wanna hump again?
Wendy: Why not?
*Kenny and Wendy start sexing each other*
Rifleman continues shouting and shooting.
Cartman: Son of...whoa! (trips, regains his feet and gets back up to speed) Where the hell is Butters?!
Meanwhile, in the secret cave, Butters, as Professor Chaos, is about to put his plan together...
Clyde: Oh my god!
He covers his eyes.
Clyde: Sorry. I really didn't see anything.
Kenny: Just relax, it's only a little teenage sex. What happened to your leg?
Clyde: I hurt it. I think it may be broken. I don't think I can move anymore.
Kenny: You can't? Hey, I have an idea. We need your clothes to cover up so we can find the others. We don't want them to see us with no clothes on.
Clyde: Then I'll be naked.
Wendy: Just hide in the cave over there and no one will see you.
Clyde: OK, but please come back with the others and clothes.
Clyde takes off all his clothes. Wendy takes Clyde's coat, shoes and pants, and Kenny takes Clyde's skivvies, socks and T-shirt. Then Kenny and Wendy disappear into the forest with Clyde's clothes on.
The naked Clyde limps into the cave and finds Professer Chaos in there.
Kenny: I love you Wendy
Wendy: I love you Kenny
Kenny: I don't care how long we stay here as long as I'm with you
Kenny: This has been one of the most magical nights of my life you are everything to me Wendy I've just always been to scared to say it
Wendy: I've always felt this way about you also I've also been to scared but I'm not anymore I love you Kenny
Kenny: I love you Wendy
(They gaze into eatch others eyes)
Meanwhile, in the cave...
Clyde (getting up and dusting himself off): Oh...what the hell? How did I get down here? And where is here???
A shadow begins to loom over Clyde, who turns to see Professor Chaos staring at him and smiling.
Chaos: Hello, intruder. Welcome to your doom!
Clyde: You gotta be kidding me...
Butters: Oh hamburgers! I guess you're right. I don't even have General Disaray with me. But I still have a sinister plan. Maybe you can help me!
Clyde: Help you?
Clyde: What do you want me to do? I have a bad leg and Kenny and Wendy have taken my clothes.
Cartman: Kyle? (Turns to gunman) Oh, no you don't! No one messes with him but ME, got it?!
Gunman shouts in his foreign tongue and points to a wooden figure just above Kyle's head. It wields a real machete.
Kyle (weakly): Cartman...you gotta...get outta here...
Cartman (to gunman): Oh, I get it. You want us to bow down to your supposed greatness, and if we don't, you'll sacrifice one of us to some "Great Spirit" with a corny name, right? Who's the statue, then? Something stupid like Uwi Uwa'a or...
Gunman cocks his rifle and holds it up to Cartman's forehead.
Cartman (nervous): Uh, maybe not...(gets forced to kneel next to Kyle as gunman prepares another rope)
Kyle: KENNY, WENDY! STAY AWAY! THEY WILL TIE YOU UP IF YOU COME OVER HERE!
Kenny: Oh sh*t. We have to try and help them!
(Kenny and Wendy run to help Cartman, Kyle and Stan but get captured by gunman)
Stan: Wait. Why are you two wearing Clyde's clothes?
Wendy: Oh. Well.... um....
Kenny: We had sex!
Stan: WHAT?! WENDY?! NO! KENNY, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
Wendy: Well, we aren't really girlfriend and boyfriend anymore. You haven't made out with me in like three months.
Stan: You little whore! I swear Kenny, I'm gonna make sure that guy shoots you!
Kyle: Calm down Stan. What they did was horrible, but you did break up.
Stan: BUT! BUT! But.......
Kyle: This is more boring than the time I was in the insane assylum!
Stan: OH! I HATE YOUI WENDY!
Kenny: I swear, Stan! If I new you'd feel uncomfortable about it, I wouldn't have done it.
Stan: I'm sorry Kenny. You're right, Kyle. I'm over-reacting.
(MEANWHILE IN THE CAVE)
PC: My secret plan is to throw a suprise party for Kyle. We've been on the island for a while now, and I think he forgot his birthday's tomorrow. Luckily I had a calendar in my pocket when we crashed.
Clyde: I see.................. And how is that evil?
PC: I dunno, but it's fun to pretend it is.
Clyde: Okay, but it's gonna be hard.
LITTLE DO CLYDE AND BUTTERS KNOW, KYLE IS CURRENTLY ABOUT TO BE BEHEADED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAVE. WHO WILL SaVE HIM?
Unbeknownst to anyone, the creature that has been following Kenny and Wendy is still behind them. We see through its eyes that it is first fixed on the two, but it looks side to side from them to the other kids, and a little bit on the gunmen. Light growls emit, unheard by anyone.
The main gunman then drops his rifle, pulls out a machete and proceeds to eye his captors. He licks his lips and begins to raise his weapon to eye level, first to Stan, then Kyle, then Cartman.
The creature watches patiently.
The gunman raises his machete higher, just above Kyle's head and utters a hateful command in his dialect.
The creature springs into action, passing Kenny and Wendy and right at the knife-wielding psychopath...
jimmyhoffa1 wrote:Mr. Spock: Captain, I'm detecting significant seismic activity in the proximity of William Golding's grave.
Wasn't that spam? Anyway.....
*The creature turns around and looks at Kyle hungily. Kyle nervously throws him a piece of fish he'd been saving in his pocket in case they needed it. He hoped to God it was better than human meat. The creature, a full-grown mountain lion, ate it and purred at the children. Just then Clyde and Butters come from the cave and follow all the noise. They enter the scene through a pair of bushes, which Clyde hides in, being naked....*
Kenny: Oh, Clyde! You can have your clothes back! The gunman the mountainlion killed was holding them.
*They all exchange clothes*
Kyle: This mountain lion will definitely be great protection. What should we name him?
Cartman: No! You stupid Jew, we're leaving him. I don't trust him.
Kyle: You don't trustr anybody but yourself. Let's vote. If you want to keep him, yell "YAY!" if not, yell "NAY!"
Everybody but Cartman: Yay!
Cartman: Nay-- Oh my god.... What are we all going to listen to that Jew? Well, guess what? He stole that fish from our campfire last night.
Kyle: No you liar! I caught it myself!
Cartman: He told me if I told you he'd kill me!
Wendy: Kyle, how could you?
Stan: But... Kyle... I thought you were our friend.....
Kenny: I never trusted you, you Bastard! Come on, everybody let's leave Kyle and his stupid mountain lion.
Butters: But I was gonna...your birthday...but....oh hamburgers!
Clyde: You son of a B*tch!
OOS(Out of story): I like creating tension!
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