"The Armstand Farm, three miles." Kyle said as they past a road sign. It had
been five days since they talked to the pit lord, now they had renewed hope of
escaping, but not a whole lot of it still, and even less after the passing time
"Think we can find some food at the farm?" Cartman said, eating canned
beets as they walked.
"I doubt it, probably all burned down by now." Stan said as he ate some
bullet-hard corn from a can.
"Wow, what is that?" Kyle said, squinting ahead. The sun was going down
and the land in front of them became harder and harder to see.
"It looks like tall grass." Stan said as he walked past the idle Kyle.
"No, it looks too thick to be grass..." He quickened his pace. "It
almost looks like corn!"
"Corn? What the hell would corn be doing out here? Shouldn't it have
burned along with the world?" Cartman said as he started to catch up to the
"If it is, then we can stock up on it!" Kenny said. "Wait you guys."
They all stopped and looked back at Kenny, who picked up a sign on the
ground. It read "Beware Mr. Scare-head"
"Mr. Scare-head? Sounds like a badly thought out cartoon show." Cartman
said, looking over Kenny's shoulder.
"Aw, dude, that means we probably shouldn't be going into the crop."
Stan hesitated, "We've had bad omens like this before and they always end up
with some kind of thing trying to kill us.
"Yeah Stan's right, we need to go around it, if that's the case." Kyle
said, but then looked around them. "Dude, what the f*ck?"
As they all looked around, they noticed the corn seemed to come closer
around them, now they were no more than ten yards away from it.
"I thought we were farther away." Kyle, completely weirded out, looked
"Guys, lets just turn back..." Stan said, all of them agreeing. But
they were immediately halted, when they found that there was corn behind them.
The cornfield had somehow reached all around them. Before they knew it, they
were surrounded on all sides. "Holy sh*t dude. This is bad!"
"Come on!" Kyle said, grabbing Stan's machette and chopping through the
corn, making a path.
"Dude! No! Don't harm the corn! Mr. Scare-head might get angry!" Kenny
shouted, looking around them.
"Well we're not getting anywhere just standing around to wait for him
now are w-" He was suddenly interrupted by the distant sound of dry chopping.
They all shifted their eyes nervously.
"Oh sh*t," Stan whispered as quietly as he could. "Do not make a
They all froze in place for a time, listening to chopping, and then
foot steps. Then there was an eerie silence that none of them could stand for
much longer. At length, a very skinny, long leg appeared above them. It had to
be more than fifteen feet long as it easily stepped over the huge gap in the
middle of the corn field. The thing at the top was very hard to see, but they
saw that he carried a very long scythe, in which he used to harvest his fields.
Then he revealed that he had a jack-o-lantern head, with green glowing eyes and
mouth with a straw hat on top. When it finally stepped across the gap, its
other leg stepped as well. He didn't even see the children, he was too
intoxicated by his work. He loved his crops, and he would work there forever if
he possibly could. Once he stepped across, he took one more long, lengthy step,
then another, and another, until he was a good distance away.
"Hooooly sh*t dude..." Stan whispered, staring along with the others.
"I've seen some f*cking weird things while I've been here, but for some reason,
that has to be the f*cking weirdest thing..." He said, looking at the others,
who he assumed didn't hear him.
"Come on guys, we need to get out of here." Stan said, and they all
turned around with him, but they all halted as the tall Mr. Scare-head stood
in front of them, staring down at them with his jack-o-lantern head grinning
its eternal smirk. It let out a burst of guffawing, causing the children to
scream. Then he pulled back his scythe, ready to swing.
"Run!" Kyle said, and they all ran back, going in between the stocks of
corn. As they did, they tried to keep track of where each of them were going,
but soon they lost each other, but kept running, because they could hear the
lunatic pumpkin head running after them.
Cartman finally stopped, catching his breath. He looked back, not
seeing Mr. Scare-head. But suddenly, the blade came down right in front of his
face, instantly making him flinch, and run back a few steps. The blade followed
him, and almost clipped off the puff ball on his hat.
"Gah! You bastard!" He yelled as he ran away from the two legs he saw.
Then, as he ran, Mr. Scare-head breathed in, wheezing very loud, and letting
off a huge smog of glowing green smoke. The smoke caught up to Cartman fast,
and knocked him in the head, making him fly forward, through the corn in front
of him, making him yelp in pain as they slapped him in the face. He finally hit
the ground, and his hand slapped into something hard on the ground. He looked
up and saw that his hand was on the handle of a sledge hammer, lying in the
middle of the field. He saw one of the legs come down behind him, and that was
all he needed. He quickly picked up the sledge hammer with both hands, and
spun around to gain momentum, and bashed the head of the hammer into the skinny
leg, shattering it and causing Mr. Scare-head to scream, and lose his balance.
As Mr. Scare-head fell to the side, Cartman threw the sledge hammer, and missed
the tall man, but kept running anyway.
"Haha! Take that you hippie!" Cartman yelled back.
"Cartman!" Kenny said, sounding very close to Cartman. "Is that you?"
"Kenny! Follow my voice!" He shouted, then finally saw Kenny's orange
reflection in the moon light. "There you are! Come on, we need to hurry!"
"Where's Kyle and Stan?" Kenny looked around.
"I don't know but if we don't hurry, that bastard could get back up!
Let's go!" Cartman began to run along with Kenny. At length, they saw clearly,
and realized a hill was close to them, a hill marking the end of the cornfield.
"Quick! To that hill! We can get on top of it and signal the others!"
Kenny shouted, keeping near Cartman. But they suddenly heard a loud rustling
in the corn behind them. They both turned around, expecting to see Stan and
Kyle, but instead what they saw was something of a stick flying in the hair, a
very long stick, that spread out his leg and half leg out and raised up his
scythe as he came down directly where Kenny and Cartman were.
"Jesus Christ!" Cartman ran and dodged out of the way.
Kenny took out his Remington Rand and shot Mr. Scare-head in the face
as he came down, blowing two green holes in his forehead. But as he did, the
blade still fell on him, slicing into the right of his chest.
"Kenny!" Cartman shouted and ran to him, catching him as he fell.
"Kenny are you alright?"
"Yeah dude, I've had worse, come on we can still make it." Kenny said
as they ran, Kenny leaning onto Cartman as a crutch.
As Kenny's eyes tried to shut, Cartman shook him a little, using the
pain to keep Kenny conscious. "Damnit, Kenny! Don't die on me! We're almost
Finally they came to a clearing, and saw that the hill had a cave at
the bottom of it. "Come on! We'll be safe in that cave!"
As they entered the cave, Mr. Scare-head, acting as a spider, crawled
out of the cornfield.
"Ah, son of a bitch!" Cartman said, deeper into the cave, noticing
something was at the end. "What is that?"
He turned his attention back to Kenny as he pulled out his gun and shot
at the monster entering the cave. As Cartman pulled Kenny back farther, he
noticed that a lever was at the end of the cave.
"Hold him off, Kenny! I'm gonna go pull that lever!"
"Hurry!" Kenny said, firing off the last two rounds in his clip, and
sliding it out, putting in his last clip.
Cartman ran down the cave's tunnel, as he got closer he noticed a sign
at the bottom of the lever, the sign read "SARNON."
As the creature endured the holes being shot into his face, he crawled
closer to Kenny, his blade being raised slowly as he approached. Kenny finally
pulled out the stops and fired continuously at the creature, wasting ten
bullets in twenty seconds, causing an enormous chunk of skin to fall off of
the monster's head, and green ooze began to drop down. But he still approached
Kenny, raising his blade up, and struck down, but was pulled back suddenly,
his blade striking just between Kenny's leg, barely missing by an inch.
Mr.Scare-head looked behind him to see that Kyle and Stan pulled hard at his
leg, dragging him out of the cave. However, they pulled too hard, and gave the
creature a clear shot straight at Stan's head. He took the chance immediately
and sliced at it with great accuracy and speed. But then he noticed that it
As Cartman pulled the lever, the Scythe was eaten away immediately, but
so was Mr. Scare-head, and then the ground, and then the cave, and then the
corn field broke apart. All of it broke apart, and everything floated upward.
Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman began to float up, and all of them looked in
horror, as they saw a giant hole in the red sky. The red began to darken, and
reality became SARNON... but what was SARNON?
The end of all things
Why disappear? What are we doing?
Where are we all going?
Will we be happy?
Questions? What else should I ask?
They walk to the hole now
The end of all things
Reft of chance and matter
We went too far
Time dies now
Start? Forgot the meaning
The hole grows stronger
It's not black
It's our color, we made it
We should be proud
Maybe it's a cloud
It deepens like one
And carries like one
I near it, It becomes clear
It's not a hole
It's not even the end of all things
It's not a cloud
It's not us
Answer? Are you sure?
The answer will kill me
It's not death
It's more than that
"What?" Stan said in a daze. He opened his eyes, and then gasped as he saw the
most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life of nine years. The sky
was blue. The clouds were white. He looked beside his head to see tall, green
luscious grass. He leaned his head up to feel the wind press against his face.
And he didn't believe it was happening. "Wake up!" He shouted at himself. And
then he heard the others stir.
"What the hell?" Kyle said, looking around him, and then looking at
Stan. "Holy f*cking sh*t! Is this real?! It can't be!" All of his endorphens
were released at that moment, his skin tingled, and his eyes saw the brightest
colors he had ever seen in his life. "OH MY GOD! We're HOME! f*ck YEAH!"
"YES DUDE! YES YES!" Cartman said as he got up and lifted his fists up
in the air "YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!" Cartman shouted out toward the trees and the
melting snow that showed green grass. "Kenny?" He looked around and then saw
Kenny get up as well, looking to see that his side no longer had a gash in it.
"Alright!" Kenny said, dancing around along with the others. They loved
every single thing about that moment, and everything that was around them.
It was all so wonderful, they danced to their hearts' content, and then
went home, eating the finest foods they could have imagined, even if they were
simple TV dinners. The next days were the best in their entire lives. But they
soon found that they did not remember why everything was so fantastic and
surreal. What had happened to them? Why in the hell were they so damn happy?
None of it was answered for them, and none of them cared anymore. Soon life
turned back to normal, although all of them saw the colors a little brighter
for the rest of their lives.
Thank you all for your kind reviews, your responses, and your reading pleasure.
I am so glad that this has gotten such great fandom among all of you in this
message board, and I hope that this story will live with the rest of you
forever, even though there is a very slight chance of that happening .
Thank you all, and Happy Holidays!
© South Park is the property of Matt Stone and Trey Parker, all other
characters and creatures were created by me.
SARNON was written by me one year ago in my Senior English Class when I got
Orange_Kenny wrote:Wow, I'm a little disappointed that only two people replied to the last chapter
I've been busy lately
Good story though, I just read the last chapter, I really did love the whole thing, you are very creative.
SAC Leader: You mean like a chocolate candy?
Darth Chef: No, I mean my balls!!
Kelly MacCornmac wrote:the story was great..but i dont know there seems there is something missing...somethings cartman says dont sound like cartman...unless if he was getting something in retrun(sorry 4 being a critic)...but yes it is a good story i liked it it got better with each ch.
True, but I thought that those conditions would humble anyone.
im really sorry 4 being a critic ealier i just cant stop being a stupid critic even though i know what i am critising is good, in fact i mostly critisise stuff that is good...with some exeptions, but not ur story it was great probbally better than i wrote on my fic, which is a fic with 8 chs so far (im trying 2 advertse this alomst evrywhere i post so sorry ) ...but y did cartman sav kenny anyway...and if time did went back y did kenny still hav his hood down? should it b up...arg just can stop critising 4 nothing can i? i hat being the critic and i defentaally dont want 2 b one so again sorry
sorry 4 any spelling errors im 2 lazy 2 fix them
and Kenny didn't have his hood down, I just didn't want to have "hmmph mmpphmpphm" to where no one could understand him. And I wanted to have Cartman save him to show that they pulled together through this whole ordeal. But everything turns back to normal in the end.
Well, good job anyway.
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