Random person: yeah right. Like people even read your story
Me: Hey, that was my last ounce of self confidence that you just took away! I'm going to go buy a huge bucket of ice cream, and eat it all while I tell myself what a fat cow I am
Right. On with the story.
"So are we friends again Stan?" Kyle said, squirming slightly in his chair.
"I-" but before Stan could answer, a high pitched sound that sounded like hava nagila in German, or Deutsch or whatever you call that Nazi languge (ok fine fine not all people who speak that language are Nazis....yeah right I was just playing!). Stan fell to the ground, clutching his ears, moaning in pain while Kyle sat there unfazed. Just as quickly as the signal had come, it left.
"Dude, what the hell was that?" Kyle asked
"Don't you dude me, you filthy Jew"
"Stan, what the f*ck is going on? Are you ok?"
"Cartman" the boys said simultaneuosly as Stan marched out the door, leaving Kyle still tied to the chair.
"Why me god? Why do things like this always happen to me?" Kyle said, as he started hopping his way home, still still stuck to his chair.
The strrets of southpark were in flames. All the Jewish businesses like Moses' Deli and Silverstein's bank were broken into, the wwindows shattered. All the citizens of South Park ere throwing rocks and shouting at every Jew they could find. By th time Kyle got home, he was sure that he had been hit in the head so many times that he was dumber than Pairs Hilton, then realized that thats pretty much impossible.
"Mom, Dad, I'm home!" Kyle shouted as he hopped through his front door.
"Kyle, bubbe, I was so worried about you, what with all the anti semetism that's been happening around here, we have to leave south park-"
"Have my ears decieved me, or did the old fat Jewish bitch just say that you're leaving south park?"
"What what what!?"
"Cartman don't call my mom a bitch!"
"Well, Kyle, your mother can be bit of a bich at times. Your fat friend's got a point." Kyle's dad said nervously
"We'll talk about this later, Gerald."
"Back to the subject of your plans on leaving South park. I think its best you have a seat."
"Well the couches are right over here-"
"Oh, no thank you. Your couches are probably infested with Jew. I don't want to get sick. Hans, Hugo, chair please."
Kyle's parents sit on the couch while Kyles hops over next to them, still tied to the chair.
Two German men bring Cartman a chair.
Just as Cartman sat down, Ike came down the stairs.
"Well, well. If it isn't the racist, obese boy who has not fatherly figure in his life and so therefore takes his hate out on minorities such as hippies and Jews and creates elaborate, larger than life schemes to eliminate them to prove how he does in fact have testosterone and is not a mommy's boy, but his plans aways fail in the end leaving him worse off than he was in the fist place, feeling that maybe he is just a fag who doesn't know how to be a real man-"
"Hey ike want to play Kick the baby?"
"You know what? Just forget it okay. None of this could happen in real life okay. I mean really, you Kyle should go to juvie or something, I mean who the hell would kick a baby? whoe the hell does that. I mean, none of this could really happen. An 13 year old boy couldnt start a neo nazi revolution by building a machine that sends out a signal making all non Jews who hear it anti-semetic! And this sort of things have happened in past episodes too! None of this stuff would happen!"
"Ike, go to your room for questioning the reality of this show and taking away any of the authors self confidnce that was left over. from a previous incident that can be viewed at the beginning of this entry"
"So as I was saying," Cartman continued.
"You're not going anywhere." Cartman draws a gun, pointing it at the family.
"Lead me to your Jew gold."
And that's all for now. Promise I'll try to be quicker with updating!
"What?" Kyle said in disbelief
"You heard me Jew, I said lead me to your Jewgold."
"We don't have any Jewgold, there's no such thing!"
"Oh yeah Kyle, then what do you call this?" Cartman Walks up the door post where he sees a small metal box (this is on the door actual of most jewish homes, no joke, ask your jew homes about it). Cartman grabs the box and gold pours out from the wall.
"Umm, I'd call it- Agh! get your hands off my Jewgold!" Kyle breaks loose from his chair and attacks Cartman, so do kyles parents, but they are stopped by cartman's german servants.
"Ugh, Hans, Hugo, get the f*cking Jew off me!"
"You'll never take me alive! Never-" Kyle screams. Hans and Hugo take out two machetes.
"Umm never mind. I'll go. Aww goddmmit don't knock me out again-"
Kyle woke up in the back of a white truck, his hands and feet bound, and noticed a sign taped to the wall.
You are now being transported to a concentration camp. I have seperated you from your parents. I cannot guarntee that they are alive. The Jews at your mom's concentration camp probably ate that fat bitch because they have no other food. And since I have no doubt that you in fact, will die, I will tell you my evil plan.
I have activated a machine called the GoddammJEWminator5000
This device turns people into antisemites, which is why everyone suddenly hates you as you have found out. Since everyone hates you, I will steal all your Jewgold, become rich earning 10 million dollars, Do not even try to fight me by destroying the GoddamJEWminator5000 which is in my room since god wants me to destroy the Jews and earn $10 million.
"Do not curse the master!" A man in a German accent shouted as Kyle was thrown out of the truck
"Where th f*ck am I?" Kyle said looking at the barbwire walls around him.
"Velcome to Camp Cartman, Kyle Broflovski, the Master said to make your stay here extra 'enjoyable'. Teehee"
"Dude, you have got to work on your evil laugh, you sound like a f*cking chipmmunk who inhaled helium.
i_kick_ass wrote:Kenny comes and goes...he'll be back again before the end of the story though, promise. bringing him back to life and then killing him again gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
. . . humm . . . I guess you would kill him huh? I did that in my first fanfic....anyways I think it is a good story with a pretty good plot, I want to see where this is heading.
Kenny comes and goes...he'll be back again before the end of the story though, promise. bringing him back to life and then killing him again gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
[color] . . . humm . . . I guess you would kill him huh? I did that in my first fanfic....anyways I think it is a good story with a pretty good plot, I want to see where this is heading.[/color]
well, Ive already killed kenny twice with his own jacket, so I proably will kill him again, just cause it gives me fuzzies
Oh, and I can't wait to see where this is heading either
hey, don't roll your eyes at me! I saw that! I was just, uh, joking?
And to moowiggle- you a'ight man you a'ight. i like to think that i am a gangsta G man, except im like so f*cking white and my hair is like bright red, so i think it is illegal to be a gangsta with red hair, o by the way tht is a f*cking awsome name, moowiggle i give you an officially unofficial kick ass award
Ok, so unto the story
"I can't help it! my father vas very drunk that nite! it vas dark! he didnt know it vas chipmunk!" the german man said
"Ok, into the velcoming vagon room for you"
But before Kyle can say 'what the f*ck' he is thrown into a room with a large, dark video screen. He stares at the screen expectantly, waiting for the worst to come, and come it does as the screen flickers to life. A video starts to play:
VELCOME TO KAMP KARTMAN (flash on screen)
"Why hello there," (talking with german accent)
Kyle just swear
"If you're wondering why you're here, no doubt it is because you are a disturbance to the Master. Anyways, you are here at Kamp Kartman is not important. but all you need to know, is what's going on here at Kamp Kartman!" Cheap transtion effect, before appears at Kamp Kartman, with a whole bunch of Rabbis fighting over a piece of gefilte fish, and a whole bunch of other Jews on the ground suffering or working.
Suddenly, the screen went black before lighting back up to reveal the back of the head of a black haired man seated on a chair.
"Well well Kyle. I've been expecting you." the man in the chair with the black mustach said as he swung around, grunting slightly due to his weight, petting a certain Mr Kitty on his lap.
"Cartman!" Kyle shouted angrily at the screen.
"Yes, yes kyle. Way to point the obvious. I am indeed cartman. Right now I am communicating with you through a video monitor from an undisclosed location-" at that moment Mrs. Cartman peaks her head into the room
"Eric, sweetie, I need you to stay up here in your room for a little bit, mommy has her special friend over again-"
"Aww goddammit mom!"
"And I'm worried about how often you've been using that video camera, I think its best I take it away for a little bit-"
"But Mooooooom! I'm busy reigning my ultimate doom upon Kyle and the rest of the Jews before I take over the wooorrrllld!"
"Sweetie, mommy and her friend need to borrow the camera for a little bit"
"Okay Eric, you can have the camera until your finished. And here's the Shnitzel you asked for" Mrs Cartman places shnitzel down and leaves.
Mr Kitty starts to sniff at the Shnitzel
"No kitty, this is my weiner shnitzle!" Mr Kitty jumps off cartmans lap and runs away"
Jesus Christ...By the way, do you like what I've done with the hair, Jew? I think the black adds a certain 'dictatory' effect. But that's just what I think, I mean, i think your oppinion counts too kyle because i really care what you think. I mean, I need a little feed back from the little people such as yourself."
"Scot Tenorman sell you pubes again cartman? Using them as hair on your head, good one fatass!"
"AH! Godammit Kyle! I'll have you know, that my hair is authentic dictatorship hair! I shaved it off of Hitlers dead head..and maybe a little off the balls, too."
"Sick to the mind of an untrue dictator! You don't know the balls it takes to be a true dictator. Or the pubes. Respect my authoritah Kyle you stupid Jew, goddammit. Anyways, back to me. I had expected you to be dead by now Kyle, but much to my dismay, you are not. so now if you would kindly bash your head against the wall until-"
"You've got to be f*cking kidding me, cartman. I'm not gonna do that, and theres no possible way you can make me."
Cartman stares at Kyle for a moment before saying "Oh really, Kyle?"
"Um, Yeah really."
"Well if that's so..." Cartman wanders offscreen for a moment.
"Hit it, Vincent!" Cartman says from offscreen. A blonde german man in the corner in a purple tank switches on a stereo. 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' or some other, better song you can think of, starts blasting before cartman returns onscreen with his normal hair, dressed in a drag queen outfit-you can be creative and come up with your own to help fulfill your sick little fantasies about little boys in 7th grade. Hehe. Eew.
Cartman begins to dance to the music, and is about to take off his top when-
"I'll right all right! Ill do it!" Kyle screams, and with that he runs straight into the wall, knocked out cold.
Yeah. That's really it. That's all. Swear. So I guess that about wraps it up here. Um, yeah.
I like your start though...it made me laugh.
By the way, my students loved South Park, and that is what we had in common. Funny stuff, but they were nuts. I love to write, and 7th graders are great muses. Have fun with the topic, you have a lot to work with, with that age group.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest