The New Kids Part I(My First FanFic)

Put your fan fiction here, and keep it nice.

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Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:55 am

In your face whoever doubted me! HAHA! I'm cooler than you haha. (Not you master ed, you're cool too and whoever else was on my side!) :cartmanlaugh:
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Postby ShaneHaughey » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:08 am

Hmm....well, it is your first time and the grammar and spelling is fine. I guess continue, even though I'm not a fan of this story at all. Maybe your second or third stories will have a marked improvement.
That's how it's down here on the farm!
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. . . . .

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:20 am

Maybe, maybe not. But the next story I write is a story I wrote when I was a teenager and it stars Kenny. Since I was 9 when South Park first came out I have been watching the show. The story is poorly written and it hasn't a better story line than this one.
Last edited by KylezGirl4Ever on Mon May 15, 2006 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: . . . . .

Postby ShaneHaughey » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:22 am

KylezGirl4Ever wrote:Maybe, maybe not. But the next story I write is a story I wrote when I was a teenager and it stars Kenny. Since I was 9 when South Park first came out I have been watching the show. The story is poorly written but it is a better story line than this one.

If it is poorly written then don't release it. Edit it and such before you do.
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Postby Stovepipe_Jam » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:44 am

Show it to another author like me or O_K. :wink: We will have a look and tell you any mistakes you make okay?
master ed
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Postby master ed » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:53 am

Jeez S_J, nobody says okay any more, haven't u heard, everyone says m'kay. great writing !!!
Last edited by master ed on Tue Jul 04, 2006 2:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Chapter 4:

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Sat May 06, 2006 3:32 am

Chapter 4:

Tweek slowly walked up the steps to the huge house. He knocked on the door. Nobody came to it. He looked back at his friends back in the bushes. He rang the doorbell. It took a few minutes before someone answered the door. It was Abrina.

"Oh, hello." Was all that she had to say.

"I'm Tw-Tweek." Tweek twitched.

"Umm, OK. Come in, I guess."

Tweek walked into the large house. There seemed to be an adult party in the room. There was loud music, lots of poles in the middle of the room, and a bunch of couches. Tweek looked around. He saw lots of young adults, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and stuff that was too adult-ish to explain. Tweek saw Celia kissing come guy that was way over her age, and Dereck who was sniffing some powder from a straw. He didn't want to look back into the crowd to see the parents.

"Who are you here to see?" Abrina yelled over the crowd.

"You!" Tweek pointed at her. She motioned for him to follow her. She led him upstairs. She led him into a room, with two bodyguards standing outside the door. She whispered something into their ears, before she went in the room.

The room was magnificent. It was most likely hers. There was a huge flat screen TV, a high-tech computer, a VCR, a DVD player, a nintendo system, shelves were piled with books, and in view was an iPod, a cellphone, a pager, a blackberry, and a labtop. No wonder this room was guarded.

There were red walls, and a black carpet.

"So, what are you here for? Are you stealing something?" Abrina seemed like she asked this question every day.

"No, this is a-a dare. I wonder when I'm supposed to go. Maybe I should go now."

"No, no; please stay. No guy in South Park ever talks to me. Only this guy named Kyle. I think. Do you wanna' play a game on my Nintendo System?" She begged Tweek.

"OK." Tweek agreed.

"Do you like the game Halo 2?"

Last edited by KylezGirl4Ever on Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Here . . .

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Sat May 06, 2006 3:58 am

This link includes pictures of Abrina, Celia, and Dereck.

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Postby MixStan » Sat May 06, 2006 2:11 pm

Keep up the good work.
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Chapter 5:

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Mon May 15, 2006 8:51 pm

Chapter 5:

Tweek had been beaten in Halo, Halo 2, and many other video games by this Abrina girl. Infact, he had even made her swear not to tell anyone. They now both sat on the couch watching 'Friends'. Abrina laughed at a stupid thing Ross did.

"You like 'Friends'?" Implied Tweek.

"Whatever, it's better than that 'Terrance and Phillip' show." Abrina answered.

Tweek blushed.

Abrina got up from the couch of her very own room. She walked over to the window.

"Tweek?" She asked in a very serious tone.

"Wh-what?" Tweek twitched.

"Why the hell are there boys hiding out in the hedges of the side yard?"

"Oh my god! I'd nearly forgotten! Maybe I should go now." Tweek headed for the door.

"Oh no! That wasn't an invitation to leave. I want to invite them up! I have no friends here in South Park, nor anywhere. Please tell them to come up!" Abrina begged him.

"OK." Tweek agreed. He continued on to the door, but Abrina caught him by the arm.

"There's still a party downstairs, don't go down. I'll call from my window!" Abrina advised. She opened the window and called out. Slowly, one by one, each boy climbed up a ladder, but when Cartman came, Abrina slammed the window down before he could get in. She turned around to face everyone. She faced Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Tweek, Butters, Pip, Craig, Clyde, Token, James, and Jason.

"Well, hello." Was all she had to say.

The boys were much too in awe to say anything. The first thing they stared at was Abrina, then her high-tech room. The first one to speak was Token.

"Wow, even my family hasn't enough money for a Blackberry."

The other remarks spilled out of everyone, and in 10 minutes everyone was occupied. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny sat talking to Abrina, Craig and Clyde played on her Xbox 360, Pip watched 'Friends', Butters and Tweek sat head to head listening to Abrina's iPod, Token fiddled with her Blackberry, and James and Jason played on a small pool table.

"So, why's your family so rich?" Asked Stan.

"It's a long story." Abrina admitted.

"We'll be here for a while, we have time." Kyle said.

"OK. Here it goes.My dad's a drug dealer,he gets around $100,000 a week from smugglers, robbers, foreigners, and drug addicts. My mom is a stripper, and a prostitude; no explanations needed there, yet she makes around $100,000 too." Abrina sighs.

"That wasn't too long." Stan smiled.

Tweek, who had been eavesdropping, said. "Why were your brother and sister down at the a-adult party?"

"Oh yeah, my siblings. You see, my sister follows in my mothers steps, and my brother in my fathers. My sister is a total slut, and she gets paid for stuff. Not sex, yet, but she charges five bucks every half hour of either cuddling, kissing, and making out. It's pretty disgusting. And then my brother is a drug addict. He's all of those names - a junky, a druggy. He is an addict." Abrina sighs once more.

"How did all of this happen?" Stan asked in horror.

"Once it was 'Bring Your Kid To Work' day back in New York. My sister went with my mother, brother with father. I went with my best friends' mothers place with her. Anyway, my sister saw my mothers work and automatically decided that was her future job. My brother, however, thought drug dealing the most awful thing. When my dad showed Dereck what marajuana smelled like, he sniffed to hard, and had actually taken the damn drug. Then of course he got addicted, and so on."

"Whoa, that's pretty f*cked up right there." Stan muttered.

"I'm used to it." Abrina laughed.
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Chapter 6:

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Wed May 17, 2006 2:59 am

Chapter 6:

It's the next day at school. Abrina is sitting and eating lunch with the guys. The rest of the girls are in a corner talking and eating. Abrina walks by the girls to go outside.

"*COUGH* SLUT *COUGH*" Bebe coughed while Abrina passed.


The rest of the girls do this as Abrina passes, either 'coughing' the word: slut, whore, skank, or a word (such as major) in front of each word. Even Abrina's sister did this.

Abrina turned to them. "How am I a slut?" She questioned.

"Everyone knows a bunch of the boys went over to your house. And there was party there, we know." Bebe answered.

"Yeah they did. They're really cool. They all just hung out. And the party was my mom's." Abrina answered truthfully, then turned to her sister. "And you, how would you like to tell them what you do for a living? Then who'd be the real slut?"

Celia blushed, then said. "Whatever sis',"

"But not just that," Bebe continued. "You are always showing off your good looks, your hooters, and your ass."

"WHAT?" Abrina yells.

"You heard me, biatch."

"I wear loose jeans, a loose T-Shirt, and a regular jacket. And trust me, I would wear tighter stuff but I'm too skinny for most good clothes."

"True." Celia piped up.

"And I wear absolutely no makeup, I hate my platinum blonde hair, I wish it wasn't so wavy and healthy and everything! Look at how tight my sisters clothes are, how much makeup she's wearing, and how you can see loads of gel in her hair."

"Forget about her, we're talking about you. So, how many boyfriends do you have now?" Bebe tried to continue, but was interuppted by Celia.

"Don't talk about that stuff to her." She whispers.

"Shut up." Bebe says airily. "Maybe you have 100 boyfriends? Is that the minimum? It must be because-" But no one will ever know why the minimum was 100 in Bebe's mind. In a flash she was attacked, knocked over and being beaten up.
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Chapter 7:

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Wed May 17, 2006 9:38 pm

Chapter 7:

Everyone was gathered around the scene. Bebe was on the ground, and Dereck was on Bebe. He was beating her up. She screamed and yelped with every punch or kick he gave her. Finally, Dereck broke off, standing over her.

"Nobody talks to my sister that. At least this one anyway." Dereck said, putting his arm around Abrina. "If I catch you talking like that to her again, I'll kick your ass way more than I just did. You're lucky Abrina held her anger in and didn't beat you up before I did. She once fought Puff Diddy's gang and won!"

"Yeah right, Celia, is that true?" Amy said, turning to Celia.

"Yeah, it actually is." She looked a bit ashamed.

"Oh yeah, and here's what Celia does for a living. She pays five bucks every half hour to any boy (she even once did a girl), who will cuddle, kiss, or make out with her. How's that for slut?" Dereck said, walking away with Abrina still under his arm.


It's at Heidi's house. Amy, Bebe, and Wendy are over. Bebe had a few bandages around her. Wendy looked a bit guilty.

"What's the matter, Wendy?" Said Amy.

"I what you guys said about Abrina was mean." Wendy looked up from the ground. She had been the only girl at the table who hadn't 'coughed'. "I mean, Bebe, you're more of a slut than her. She isn't even any sort of slut."

"Whatever, Wendy." Bebe used the same airilyness she had with Celia earlier that day.

"Did you know that usually when you hate someone it means you're jealous?" Wendy remarked, and looks back at the ground.

"Of course we're jealous Wendy. All the mean things we said about her aren't true, none of them! I know that she wears no makeup, that her natural hair color is platinum blonde, that her hair is always wavy, that her clothes aren't tight at all! I know she doesn't show anything off! I just hate her!" Bebe told Wendy.

"But what did she ever do to you?" Wendy asked.

"Nothing whatsoever. I just hate that she's so-so-so-so perfect! She's good at all the subjects, she's really athletic, she's skinny, she's curvy, and she's really pretty. What girl in their right mind wouldn't be jealous of her?" Bebe exclaimed.

"Me." Muttered Wendy.

"Even Amy and Heidi are jealous, right guys?" Bebe turned to them.

"Yeah." They replied in perfect unison.

"I can't believe you're not jealous!" Bebe yelled, flopping onto Heidi's couch.

"Never mind that! She never did anything to you!" Wendy yelled back.

"Weirdo. Get out of Heidi's house right now!" Yelled Bebe.

"You guys aren't invited to my party this weekend!" Wendy shouted.

"Whatever it's not like it's your birthday party!" Bebe yelled.

Wendy stormed out the door. She walked for quite a while, until she reached a huge mansion, beside her boyfriends mansion.

She walked up to the door step. She rang the door bell. A very pretty lady answered the door.

"Oh, umm, hi. I'm here to see Abrina." Wendy looked up at the woman.

"Oh! I see, Abrina's locked herself in her room again. She does that when she's upset. Second time in a week she's done it. If you could get her out, I'll pay you." The woman said in a gentle voice.

"OK." Wendy said. She was led up to the second floor. She was then led to a door. The woman left. Wendy knocked on the door.

"Abrina?" Wendy called out.

"What?" She heard a voice from the inside of the door say.

"It's Wendy,"

"What do you want? To tell me I'm a slut all over again?"

"No, no. I understand you. I don't think you're a slut at all. I talked to Bebe and the others. They're just jealous of you."

"I'm used to that. But in New York everyone who is jealous of me tries to be better. They never succeed. But the jealous South Park girls make fun of me. None of the things they said about me are true."

"I know they're not. And my mother is a seamstress in her spare time. She could make your clothes fit."


"Yeah." Wendy listened to the silence one the door. Then she heard the lock turn and then there stood Abrina.

"You can come in now." She said.

Wendy entered the room. "I want to invite you to a party of mine this weekend.


Wendy told Abrina all about the party, then they talked for a while. Soon it was time for Wendy to leave, and as the was leaving, the pretty mother slipped her a ten dollar bill.

Wendy was glad. She had just ditched a mean friend, and gathered a nice one.
Last edited by KylezGirl4Ever on Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Chapter 8:

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Sun Jul 02, 2006 6:31 pm

Chapter 8:

Now that all of her clothes fit, thanks to Wendy's mother; Abrina didn't feel as comfortable around guys as much as she did. She even took her bodyguard around most places. One day, when she was in her room, playing a video game on her XBox 360, there was a knock on her door. Stan a Kyle stood before her.

"Oh; hi. Come in." She said promptly.

The two boys walked in. She crossed her arms over her chest and sat down. She was doing this to hide her features.

"Uhh, what's up?" She said, nervously.

The boys just stared. Finally, Kyle piped up:

"We were just wondering if you wanted to come throw rocks at cars." He said very lamely.

"Want a tour of my house?" Abrina said, getting up and walknig to the closet.

"Isn't that the door over that way?" Stan asked, pointing to the door out to the hall.

"Yep." Abrina said, opening the closet doors, revealing a huge space, filled with around 10 dozen small screens. She sat in a large chair. She pointed out each room.

Suddenly, a fat, black figure leaped onto her lap. She stroked what appeared to be a cat.

"This is Rebel. She's two years old. She's mine." Abrina stated blankly.

Rebel was completely black and shiny, with golden eyes. She wore a red collar, with a real gold coin-like tab, with 'Rebel' written on it in black Calligraphy. On the red fabric were black diamonds.

"How much is that collar worth?" Kyle asked, dumbfoundedly.

"Well, each of the diamonds are worth 5,000 dollars, the gold tab was about one thousand, so around $51,000." Abrina said, stroking the cat.

Each of the boys jaws' dropped.

"sh*t, man!" Stan said after a few moments had passed.

The door to Abrina's room opened, and in stormed Celia.

"Abrina, where the hell is my garnet necklace? Dereck found his diamond necklace, and you're wearing your pearl necklace. I-" Celia stopped in mid-sentence when she saw the boys.

Abrina closed the closet doors before her sister saw the 120 screens.

"Your necklace is in your top drawer, in the glass case with a heart on it." Abrina got Celia out of her room.

"We each have a necklace of our birthstone." She smiled at the three boys.

"Really? When were you born?" Kyle asked her.

"June 6." Abrina smiled more.

"What time?" Stan turned to her.

"Exactly 6:00AM." Abrina smirked.

Stan's eyes went wide. "We have to go."

"No we don't." Kyle angered at Stan.

"Yes, we do." Stan gave Kyle a look that said 'Shut up and go along or I'll break your balls.'

Kyle nodded his head in agreement; "Oh yeah, see you later Abrina."


Stan and Kyle walk outside the house, and once they were out of Abrina's houses view, Kyle turned on Stan and asked:

"What's your problem Stan?"

Stan slowly said: "June 6, 6:00AM makes: 666."
Last edited by KylezGirl4Ever on Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby DownWithCalifornia » Mon Jul 03, 2006 4:53 am

Oohhh. NOW this is getting interesting... :twisted:
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Chapter 9:

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:58 pm

Chapter 9:

The boys avoided Abrina the next day at school. Or at least they tried to. Finally at lunch she rushed over to them and sat down.

"What are you guys trying to do?" She leaned across the table and looked into Stan's eyes, then Kyle's. She ignored Cartman.

Stan gulped. Kyle looked hard into the depths of her deep blue eyes. He then looked away. Those weren't the eyes of evil. How could he be sure, though?

"Ummm. I don't know. Uhhh. You see . . ." Kyle stuttered.

"We, uh, just . . . err. I just . . ." Stan trailed off.

Abrina's eyes hardened. They then softened. She bit her lip. She looked at all the other tables. "Whatever." And then she walked away. She sat down beside Token.

"Stan, I have an idea. Well, you know how all omens have 666 carved into the back of their necks?" Stan nodded. "Well, if we somehow get to the back of her neck, we can find out!" Kyle seemed happy.

"One question, how?" Stan asked.

"Somehow." Kyle answered. And then he told Stan the plan.


Abrina knocked on Wendy's door, holding her pyjamas, sleeping bag, pillow, EpiPen, and cellphone. Wendy answered.

"Oh hello Abrina. Come in." Wendy smiled.

Abrina walked in, and looked around. A bunch of girls from school were there. They all stared at her with evil eyes. All except Wendy.

"Well, everyone's here, what do you want to play?" Wendy asked Abrina.

"Let them decide." Abrina said indicating to everyone else.

Truth or Dare was about to win over Light As A Feather; Stiff As A Board.

"Which one do you want to play?" Wendy asked, being friendly.

"Neither," Abrina blankly said, not taking her eyes off the ground.

"Well, what do you want to play? Make up your mind or we'll make it up for you. Hurry up. Can you decide any slower?" One of the girls asked harshly.

Abrina hated being talked to like this. "I want to play Bloody Mary." She said, taking her eyes off the ground and looking at the girl who had said that.

"What the hell is that?" Said one of the girls. "God, you people from New York are so weird."

Abrina walked over to the curtains, and closed them. She turned off the light and walked over to the mirror. She sang the Bloody Mary chant. All of the girls reluctantly sat down. They all waited for a couple minutes.

"Abrina?" Wendy's voice asked.

No answer. Suddenly everyone screamed. A pair of red eyes were floating in the middle of the room. They heard a thump. The girl who had been so harsh towards Abrina screamed and yelled:

"Ahh! Who the frick just scratched my back?" A few other girls shrieked and shouted similar things. Abrina turned the lights back on and all of the girls ran into the bathroom except her and Wendy.

Once the girls were all out of earshot, Wendy and Abrina broke out in fits of laughter.

"That was sweet," Wendy said through quiet laughs.

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