Stanley Marsh: And the Stoned Philosopher.

Put your fan fiction here, and keep it nice.

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Chapter 2:

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:26 am

Chapter 2:

9 YEARS LATER . . . . .

Stanley woke up to the sound of feet running up and down the stairs on top of the cupboard of which he lived. He heard whoever was running up and down the stairs yelling:

"Get up! Get up you gaywad!" Cartman was yelling.

"Stop it fatass, you're going to fall through the stairs!" Said Stanley, looking at the ceiling, which was starting to wear away from Cartman's daily wake up calls. And sure enough, Cartman was suddenly flailing through the air, out of the whole that had just recently formed in Stan's cupboard's ceiling.

"Look what you did, you f*cking fatass!" Stan bellowed at Cartman.

"Mo-om, Stanley broke the ceiling,and is trying to blame me." Cartman whined and opened the cupboard door.

"What? What the f*ck do you mean? You're the one who just broke through my ceiling, you fat piece of sh*t!" Stanley yelled.

Aunt Petunia entered the room. "Stanley, what did you just say?"

"He called me a fat p-piece of sh*t." Cartman pretended to cry.

"You WHAT?" Yelled Aunt Petunia in Stanley's face.


Uncle Vernon entered the crowded cupboard. "Did I just hear you say that Eric is FAT?" He bellowed.

"YES! NOW ALL OF YOU, GET OUT OF MY F*CKING ROOM!" Yelled Stanley. The three other people shuffled out of the room. Stanley heard Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia discussing not to feed him for a week. He looked up at the hole in his ceiling. "F*cking fatass." He mumbled to himself.

Cartman suddenly appeared looking through the hole at him, holding a water gun.

"Stop!" Stanley said, horrified. Cartman pointed the gun at Stanley's crotch, then squirting. It got all over Stanley's pants.

Suddenly Cartman yelled: "Mo-om, Stanley had a little accident."

Stanley hated his life.
Last edited by KylezGirl4Ever on Wed May 03, 2006 8:52 pm, edited 3 times in total.
master ed
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Postby master ed » Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:13 pm

its alright, but i really dont think that harry potter and south park mix. u gotta create ur own story and not just make a copy of Rowlings. Think of something original its not like u have to get an idea right away it could take a couple days. I really dont wanna see this coming anymore (sorry) :(
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Postby i_kick_ass » Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:05 pm

yes, i agree that your fanfic is a bit too much like harry potter rather than south park. I honestly love harry potter. i know you've already started your story, but maybe you could make it a bit like 'Woodland Critter Christmas' and have Stan thinking this whole thing is totally gay and have everyone else be totally into the story, but don't end it with cartman being the narrator if you do decide to do that. But then I guess it would go from copying Harry Potter too much to maybe copying actual episodes of South Park too much. Well, just a suggestion.
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Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:02 pm

I'm just trying to get you guys in the HP mood. Next chapter is totally un-Harry-Potter-like.
master ed
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Postby master ed » Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:31 pm

no i mean i dont like stan as harry or any of that. dont make them represent characters. make a new one and send me the idea first
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Postby MissingOctober » Mon Apr 24, 2006 6:05 pm

I just caught glimpses of it. It sounds good, the idea, it really does, but just make it more SP. Give it some comedy. Try to draw into the SP mood. Let them rip on each other. X D Lol.
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Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Mon Apr 24, 2006 10:25 pm

OK I will. I just can't now because it's hard to type; I fractured my left hand. This little paragraph has taken five minutes.
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Chapter 3:

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Sat Apr 29, 2006 9:38 pm

Chapter 3:

Stanley was making breakfast for the family.

"So I assume you're having 5,000 slices of bacon, fatass?" Stanley turned to Cartman.

"Mo-om, Stanley called me fat." Cartman turned to Aunt Petunia.

"I was just telling him the truth!" Stanley screamed before his aunt could say anything.

"He's just big-boned!" Aunt Petunia shouted.

"An elephant is big-boned, a pig is big-boned. Cartman is FAT!" Stanley shouted back. "And so is Uncle Vernon! I f*cking hate this family!"

"Now Stanley -- "

"Shut up you skanky bitch! Get out of my face!" Stanley ran for it. He slid through the slightly open door, outside.

He ran for hours. Finally, it was nightfall. He lay down on the country-grass. He was out of Private Drive. He was out of town. He was in the country.

Out of nowhere in the sky a bright light appeared. It was coming closer, and when only a few feet from Stanley, he realized it was a motorcycle. It was flying.

"Dude, something's pretty f*cked up right here." He said. The cycle landed. An overweight man got off.

"There ya' are Stan. Been looking for ya'." The man said.

"Who the hell are you?" Stanley said, terrified.

"Nevermind that now, the important subject is you. You're a wizard Stanley. You can do magic." The man told him. Stanley's eyes shone with delight.

"All right! Am I a magician?"

"Not quite, but you can do neat stuff."


"You were just cast a spell at Private Drive." The man said. "I've been watching you."

"What kind of spell?" Stanley asked, amazed.

"It's called spazmaticco. You can imagine what that does."
Last edited by KylezGirl4Ever on Tue Jul 04, 2006 7:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby master ed » Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:31 am

I still don't like it, sorry. Make your own thing. Don't use Harry Potter stuff.
Last edited by master ed on Tue Jul 04, 2006 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Chapter 4:

Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Tue Jul 04, 2006 4:51 pm

Chapter 4:

After being told that he was a wizard, Stanley and this Chef headed back to Private Drive. Chef knocked on the door. Aunt Petunia answered.

"Ahhhh!" She screamed and ran behind Uncle Vernon who was now approaching the door.

Chef was by far taller than Vernon, but Vernon almost reached the plumpness of Chef.

"Who are you? And what are you doing with my nephew?" Uncle Vernon stood on his tipi-toes to look into Chef's eyes, but was still more than a head below eyelevel.

"I'm Chef," Chef held out a greasy hand.

Uncle Vernon shuddered at the greasy hand and pushed it away.

"Oh, you're nephew's a wizard." Chef said absent mindedly.

"WHAT?" Uncle Vernon roared.

"YOU'RE NEPHEW'S A WIZARD." Chef leaned towards Vernon.

"I heard you, I just am in complete shock!" Uncle Vernon gave a sheepish laugh.

"Oh. Well, off to Pig Pimples." Chef turned around, but was caught on the arm by Stanley.

"Huh? What's Pig Pimples?"

"The school for Wizards."

"Oh. Why's it called Pig Pimples?"

"Dunno," Chef pulled a bag of Cheesy Poofs out of his knap-sack, opened it and began eating a few, making the orange powder wipe off on his greasy hands.

Eric ran out from behind Aunt Petunia, up to Chef. "My Cheesy Poofs! Give me my Cheesy Poofs!"

"These are mine! Bug off you ass rash!" Chef turned away from Eric, but he jumped up and tried to grab the bag.

"Respect ma' authoritah!" He jumped up and down trying to grab the bag. He spotted Stanley. He stopped. He walked over to Stanley, grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pointed a finger at Chef. "Who the hell is that Black Jew over there?"

Stanley said - still being lifted an inch or two off the ground - "He's not Jewish!"

"Tell me!" Eric roared, sounding much like Uncle Vernon.

"No!" Stanley yelled.

Eric dropped Stanley; who lost balance and fell.

"Let's go, Stan." Chef grabbed Stanley by the hand and dragged him away from Private Drive.

Stan, Stanley thought. I like that name; Stan.
Last edited by KylezGirl4Ever on Tue Jul 04, 2006 5:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Kyle the Skeptic » Tue Jul 04, 2006 5:09 pm

I'm sorry but this just seems a little too awkward to work as is. I like how you included Cartman as Stan's fat spoiled cousin, but as for the other Dursleys you should have simply used analogous SP characters rather than Vernon or Petunia. Also Rob Reiner is NOT the best choice for Hagrid. For one thing Rob Reiner was a villain in the "Butt Out" episode. I really hope you change him for someone else, even if it ends up being Chef; after all before he got brainwashed (and subsequently killed) Chef was primarily the large jolly mentor type in the boys' lives. He would make a perfect Hagrid type character IMO.

I'm guessing you're going to have Kyle as Stan's redhaired friend. Wendy would probably make a good Hermione, since she is one of the top students in class. I know Butters would make a good Neville, since everything bad always happens to him. :D
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Postby KylezGirl4Ever » Tue Jul 04, 2006 5:12 pm

I'm off to make the changes. :)
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Postby MixStan » Tue Jul 04, 2006 5:27 pm

No offense, I don't like. I totally HATE Harry Potter! But since your doing to the first book, I'll give it a chance. I only like the first Harry Potter and hated the other ones. I'll just give it a chance.
Last edited by MixStan on Tue Jul 04, 2006 5:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Trent.Boyett » Tue Jul 04, 2006 5:27 pm

this is a titz BBS; well kinda
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Postby DownWithCalifornia » Tue Jul 04, 2006 6:52 pm

Well, I'm a humungo HP fan and I love it. F*cking funny. Cartman is PERFECT for the role of Dudley, a fat and spoilt brat. I like the part with Cartman, Chef, and the Cheesy Poofs. :lol:

Oh, I just noticed. "A fat and spoilt brat." Rhymage!
Last edited by DownWithCalifornia on Tue Jul 04, 2006 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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