Kyle Dies - The Final Chapter

Put your fan fiction here, and keep it nice.

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Kyle the Skeptic
Posts: 2226
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:06 pm

Postby Kyle the Skeptic » Sun Apr 22, 2007 1:06 am

Well, since people are still reading this, I've gone back and made the corrections I had come up with to this version of it as well. I've corrected the grammar on the chapters where I wasn't able to get a beta-reader, and I made sure the doctor's name is spelled correctly.

And thanks for the reviews.
O'Brien
Posts: 549
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2007 9:05 pm

Postby O'Brien » Sun Apr 22, 2007 5:25 am

I found this story to be a good read. In particular I liked how you made those Goth kids actually care for their own, essentially humanizing them so that they're more than mere sterotypes. The main boys were all well-done too. My only tiny gripe is that I had to read the reference post to figure out who Carl and Isaac were, but that's no biggie really. So good job. :)
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Every step back a step foward.
Every failure an extra opportunity for success.
Every day of defeat a victory!
Cartmansgurl15
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:11 pm

Postby Cartmansgurl15 » Sun Apr 22, 2007 7:21 pm

Holy sh*t! That was awesome! I am working on my own fan fic and I think that was super-ultra sweet! Dude, you got talent. Write more stories!
Grizim
Posts: 1093
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 9:57 pm

Postby Grizim » Sun May 13, 2007 10:00 pm

I read it again, paying closer attention to it this time. Generally an impressive fanfic. I can write stories, but not fan fiction because I can't adapt to styles very well, or at least not as well as this. It truly deserves a solid 10/10.

Not to sound too show-offy with music theory, but you can't strum chords on a bass guitar. You should change "chords" to "notes". I know, it's a very minor problem that I'm picking at, but I have OCD so I tend to magnify little things like this.
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As enjoyable as abuse.
Kyle the Skeptic
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Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:06 pm

Postby Kyle the Skeptic » Mon May 14, 2007 1:17 am

No problem. I've gone back and edited chapters 7 and 8.
OMGTKKauthoritah
Posts: 38
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2007 9:04 pm

Postby OMGTKKauthoritah » Mon May 14, 2007 8:43 pm

Um, actually, you can strum chords on the bass. It's just not too common. It's been done by Cannibal Corpse before. The late Cliff Burton of Metallica did it too. And I have definitely heard Suffocation's bassist playing chords in one of their songs.

In fact, here's a section of a bass tab for Suffocation's "Tomes of Acrimony" to prove it.

Code: Select all

                                                         1.
    W          Q  H    E E   W          Q  H    S E.
||-----------|-------------|----------|----------------||
||o----------|-9-----------|----------|-9-------------o||
||o----------|-7-----------|----------|-7-------------o||
||--0--------|-0-------0-0-|-0--------|-0-------0-0----||


  2.
  Q  H    Q
|--------------|
|-9------------|
|-7------------|
|-0-------0----|


And have I reviewed this one yet? Well, in case I haven't, I really like this one a lot. This seems to have been your first novelized fic, and you pulled it off excellently. 10/10.
Grizim
Posts: 1093
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 9:57 pm

Postby Grizim » Tue May 15, 2007 2:39 am

I knew Metallica did it, but there aren't enough good-sounding bass chords to construct the entire "I'm A Jew" song, especially without any overdrive (and I don't know why the hell someone would use overdrive to play a song like "I'm A Jew") and as you said, it's very uncommon. Almost as uncommon as putting tape on a harmonica and playing it that way (LOL, even though I'm guilty for doing it for fun).
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As enjoyable as abuse.
Kenny914
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2007 10:23 pm

It is awsome

Postby Kenny914 » Tue May 15, 2007 3:51 am

Your fanfic is so great. It is the first fanfic I ever read. I am also glad there are some Kyle fans out there other than me. I give your fanfic a 10 out of 10. And for a idea for another fan fic here is a idia. Cartman finds out that somehow he is Jewish. I dont care if you use is(infact I would like you to make a fanfic of it because I cant wright fanfics).





Kenny914
My favorite characters of South Park are, Stan,Kyle,Wendy,Jesus,Jimbo,Terrace,Phillip,
Ned,and Kenny.[img] http://www.stansdad.com/data/userbars/userbar_Blue.png[/img]
Kyle the Skeptic
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Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:06 pm

Postby Kyle the Skeptic » Tue May 15, 2007 4:32 am

Thanks for the review. However the idea you mentioned has already been suggested hundreds of times and done to death.
Kenny914
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2007 10:23 pm

crap

Postby Kenny914 » Tue May 15, 2007 12:33 pm

Damit why cant I ever come up with original ideas.
My favorite characters of South Park are, Stan,Kyle,Wendy,Jesus,Jimbo,Terrace,Phillip,
Ned,and Kenny.[img] http://www.stansdad.com/data/userbars/userbar_Blue.png[/img]
!Kristen!
Posts: 24
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 5:30 am

Postby !Kristen! » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:47 am

Wow... just wow. This is definately one of my favourites, I've read it three times now. It's so good, very, very well done!
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S-O-U-T-H-P-A-R-K
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Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 4:30 am

Postby S-O-U-T-H-P-A-R-K » Sat Jul 14, 2007 6:13 am

Nice story
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Kyle the Skeptic
Posts: 2226
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:06 pm

Postby Kyle the Skeptic » Sat Jul 14, 2007 6:51 pm

Hey, thanks! I didn't know people were still reading this.
stanandkylefan
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Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:06 pm

Postby stanandkylefan » Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:13 pm

Mr_Jefferson_killed_Kenny wrote:Awesome. :]
yeah that was awesome
Nommel
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Joined: Sun Aug 20, 2006 8:37 pm

Postby Nommel » Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:18 am

*insert sycophantic compliment here*

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