Thoughts on Regret, Death, and Kyle

Put your fan fiction here, and keep it nice.

Moderator: Big-Will

Posts: 1237
Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:47 am

Thoughts on Regret, Death, and Kyle

Postby crazyQH » Fri Dec 15, 2006 12:34 am

Alright, I've had the prologue for this written for quite a while, and recently I have started the other chapters, so I figure I now have enough content to actually post it on here. It's an angst/drama, so if you're not really into that, don't read it. Simple. It's Stan's POV, and the chapters that follow the prologue are what lead up to what Stan is describing happened in the prologue. Make sense?


It’s only now that I understand the human psyche, and how it affects our actions. Or maybe I’m wrong, maybe now it’s an even greater mystery to me than it ever was before. Now that I think about it, I never really gave one iota of thought towards how and why we think the things we do. That’s something Kyle would have done, Kyle would have contemplated his own thoughts until so many vague, twisted ideas ran askew in his ever pondering brain that he would become sleep deprived due to over thinking such a complex concept. However, I don’t think like Kyle. No one thinks the way Kyle did.

You see, I, Stan Marsh, could tell you honestly I was Kyle Broflovski’s best friend, and was as familiar with him as he was with himself. This brings me to a greater quarry, one that I have yet to resolve within the realm of my own conscious. How could a bond, no, a love for someone be so easily destroyed by a compulsive action, something done in a plight of confusion with little thought or regard of consequences. How, why do we do things on an ill thought-out whim that end up being profoundly devastating? Never before had I felt such a need to know the answer to such an obscure question. That’s more like something Kyle would have wondered, not me. Then again, I am not the same person I was before Kyle left, so I don’t think I can compare my present self to the way I was before. The way I was when I still had Kyle.

It’s truly amazing how dramatically a person can change their whole personality-their whole outlook on life, after losing someone close to them. Kyle was more than just a really close friend; he was a part of me. He was my morals, my company, and hell, the only other sane individual who would agree with my rationale when things got out of hand as they often did in out little mountain town of South Park. Why did he have to leave, why did he have to die on me? Didn’t he know I need him? He could have survived if he had just tried, but he just gave up. It’s his fault.

No, I can’t blame him. I don’t want to blame him, but I can’t stand to admit to myself that I am the one at fault here, even if it’s true. It’s punishment enough that he’s gone, why do I have to live with the guilt? God hates me, if he didn’t, he would have never allowed me to press that god-forsaken pistol into the heaving chest of Kyle Broflovski in the first place.

Somehow, everything prior to when I pulled the trigger is a blur. Only after I had committed the senseless act, had my rational, moral, and generally well-meaning side emerge from the caverns of my conscious to mock me for my foolish actions. By then, all I could do was stare at my best friend slowly lose grasp of any life left in him as his limp body lay awry in a deep red pool of his own blood. I was, and still am, unable to comprehend what would drive me to murder my best friend.

It’s now I think back to my original question. Why does our mind allow us to do things we will later regret? Why does it allow us to do the irrational, the immoral, and unintended? If Kyle were here, I’d ask him, I’m sure he would have a better answer than I do.
Posts: 1237
Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:47 am

Postby crazyQH » Fri Dec 15, 2006 12:38 am

Here's the first official chapter, unless you consider the prologue a chapter...
Chapter One-The Beginning of the End

Why is it when something goes wrong, everything else does as well? It’s Murphy’s Law, everything that can go wrong-will. It opens up a Pandora ’s Box, and then, nothing goes right, until we’re all frustrated out of our minds and being irrational.

It had been a Tuesday when the whole mess started. I heaved the door of the school’s entrance open, panting out of breath. I looked down the hall, and as I expected, there wasn’t a soul. Of course not, I was ten minutes late, but I was hoping there was someone else who had overslept and was just arriving at school.

I knew I was going to get some sort of a lecture, or an un-orthodox form of embarrassment for being late. Tardiness was one of Ms. Garrison’s pet peeves, and trust me, she’d let you know in the worst possible way. However, I don’t think Ms. Garrison was “all there,” if you know what I mean…

Staggering towards the door, I quickly tried to tidy myself. I had ran the whole way from my house, which was probably a more cumbersome distance than any kid with asthma should attempt in such a short period of time. I straightened the outer edge of my hat, bent over and tied my left shoe, which I had already tripped over twice, took a breath, and went over my best “Why I wasn’t in class on time” excuse in my head. I cracked the door, and braced myself. Time to feel Ms. Garrison’s wrath.

As I walked in, I slowly relaxed from the tense brace I was holding. By now I would have expected Ms. Garrison to have cracked her first of many smart ass comments; however, that’s not what I received when I entered.

She was quietly seated in the far corner of the classroom, her attention, as well as my classmates’, semi-focused on Mr. Mackey, who was amidst one of his speeches he gives when something important or tragic has happened.

He paused briefly upon my entering, then nodded as I slinked my way to my chair. I noticed Kyle’s chair was empty, which was not only odd, but disappointing, considering that I wanted to ask him what the hell Mr. Mackey was in there for.

I glanced around at the other kids, all of which stared in a daze at the tall, lanky man with the oversized head, and I wasn’t sure if they were actually interested in what he was saying or half asleep. I noticed Ms. Garrison didn’t even give me any form of justifying glance, and the fact she didn’t show any notice that I had violated one of her biggest rules, made me think whatever it was Mr. Mackey was discussing must have had some importance.

“What was done was intolerant, heartless, and not acceptable, m’kay? So children, if I hear that any of you do anything to offend, humiliate, or hurt another student again, I’ll see to it you receive a severe punishment, m’kay?”

I must have come in at the tail end of his lecture, because he turned to leave after receiving a nod of approval from Ms. Garrison. I was thankful for that, Mr. Mackey’s speeches had a tendency to not only be boring, but irrational. That seemed to be the trend with the adults in South Park though, and it was always my opinion that the kids were the voice of reason.

Ms. Garrison rose from her chair and assumed her normal spot at the black board. I tapped on Kenny’s shoulder, figuring he’d know what was going on.

“Dude, what was that about?” I asked.

“You didn’t know? A group of kids beat up Kyle last night, I hear he’s in pretty rough shape. I figured you’d have known that, considering you’re his best friend and all.”

It was like Kenny to be blunt about things, but I hoped he would have laid that on my a little more gently.

“What? Who? Who did that? Was it Cartman? I’ll kick this ass!”

“Well, actually, I heard it was Craig, Clyde, and Butters.”

“Butters?” I said shocked. “Why would Butters do that, he doesn’t even hang out with them. And why would any of them do that anyway?”

“I’m not sure, but I’ve heard them saying some pretty nasty stuff about him recently as well. Almost Cartman-esque. And it’s not just them, I’ve heard a lot of others talking trash about Kyle and I even heard rumors that he’s planning on bringing in a gun and shooting up the school. That’s a load of sh*t though…probably something Cartman made up. And what’s worse, people are actually believing this! You don’t believe them, right Stan?”

“Of course not!” I retaliated, almost offended that Kenny would even ask.

I knew people hadn’t been being very nice to Kyle, but it seemed to have escalated over the past few months. The fact that Kyle had actually been physically assaulted surprised me, and for what? Kyle hadn’t done anything but been his good old self, trying to do the right thing and staying true to his morals like he always had. Why he had been targeted was a mystery. Everyday, it seemed more and more people turned against him, and although I knew I was Kyle’s best friend, I hoped the pressure to turn against him wouldn’t affect me.

The duration of that day was interminable. I felt like time was dilated, minutes seeming to take hours. I desperately wanted to get out of school and head over to Kyle’s house. That’s all I could think of, and I prayed he wasn’t too physically or emotionally scarred. It’s true, he’d dealt with worse, but I wondered how much that kid could handle before he broke down into a dilapidated pile of shattered emotions.

Laying my head on my desk, my eyes stared glazed at the pencil I was rolling along its surface. The last thing I could focus on was one of Ms. Garrison’s arduous lectures, if she even was giving one; my mind was too preoccupied to notice. I had stopped looking at the clock a while ago, hoping that maybe if I didn’t focus on it time would go faster. It didn’t, and by the time the bell finally wrung, I had almost convinced myself that leaving school was an unrealizable dream, and that I was destined to sit at this desk for all of eternity.

I don’t think I’d ever gotten out of that school so quickly in my life. I ran out onto the streets, contemplating how I’d managed to start, and end, my school day by running, literally. I flew past the houses, and the pavement below me streaked under me in a grayish blob. The air was thin, as it always was, but I managed to maintain a run all the way until I made it to the door of the Broflovski residence. I knocked a couple times, and then let myself in, as I often did at Kyle’s house. I called for him once, and then worked my way up the stairs to his room. I tapped on his door lightly, hoping he wouldn’t be asleep.

“Kyle, Kyle? Are you in there?” After a pause, I heard movement and a very groggy, beat up Kyle opened the door.

“Hey Stan.” He said solemnly, looking down at his feet and shuffling them nervously.

“Are you okay? I heard you got into a fight yesterday.” I felt awkward for asking that question, as it was obvious Kyle was nothing near what I would consider “okay.” A long gash ran along his forehead to his ear, several stitches loosely laced the line of crusted blood. His right eye was almost swollen shut, and his hat had a tear on one of the flaps. He wasn’t wearing his coat, and another deep wound was exposed on his right arm.

“I’ve been better.” He responded softly, still looking at his feet.

“Are you going to be at school tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yeah, I guess…”

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then. Feel better dude.” I felt strange for leaving so quickly, but I could tell this was one of those cases where Kyle probably wanted to be left alone. I looked into Kyle’s eyes, gave him a half-hearted smile, and turned to leave. Again I made my way down the street towards my house, this time walking with my hands in my pockets. Seeing Kyle in such a rough shape disturbed me. Not only was he beat up physically, but something else seemed out of place. He had acted as if his spirit had been crushed by the cruelty of others. I promised myself I’d never do anything to hurt Kyle, ever. And if I had known what was to come, I would have kept that promise.
Posts: 1105
Joined: Wed Jul 05, 2006 3:12 am

Postby DevilAngel16 » Fri Dec 15, 2006 1:10 am

...That gave me goose bumps.

No, honestly, my heart is like, pounding right now. I'm...amazed.

To start off, the prologue was breathtaking. It was clever the way you began it in the present, and the first chapter was the flashback that would eventually lead up to the event in the prologue. So...let me get this straight. Stan murdered Kyle? D: The poor kid. Stan must've been suffering severe emotional issues to commit such an act. I can't wait to find out why he would even think about doing something like that. Perhaps he wanted to put Kyle out of his misery? Well, I'll wait and see what happens later in the story.

Also, let me just say, you have quite a diverse vocabulary, Dee. Seriously. You definitely have a descriptive way of explaining things. That's an excellent thing though, since it proves that you're intelligent and that you put a lot of thought into this.

Oh, and before I forget, I was just old are the boys in this fanfic? I know it may not even matter, but I'd just like to know. sum up this review: fantastic work so far, Dee. I've instantly fallen in love with this fanfic. I can't wait to read more. It already seems very, very deep, and I enjoy reading angst/drama stories occasionally. They always get me thinking, and they put me in a rather serious mood.

Absolutely beautiful so far. <3
Kyle the Skeptic
Posts: 2226
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:06 pm

Postby Kyle the Skeptic » Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:40 am

Is this the joint fic you're working on? Regardless, I have but one request. Please don't leave this unfinished. :)

The way you wrote the prologue reminds me of one of the psychological elements that I used in my own fic. When a person has recently lost someone close to them, they almost always refer to the one they lost in the present tense... That is unless they had something to do with the death, in which case they use the past tense; something I notice that Stan did in your prologue. In fact, the use of the past tense is one of the signs of a guilty conscience, i.e. the difference between, "He is my best friend," and, "He was my best friend."

I think I see where this is going though. If Kyle was the victim of bullying, it might drive him to the point of wanting to bring a weapon into school to exact revenge. In situations like this, the shooter usually has little regard for his own life. If Stan were to try and stand in his way, he'd probably have to stop Kyle by any means necessary.

Good so far, and as you often say, I don't have any criticism. Keep going!
Posts: 119
Joined: Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:20 am

Postby Wishful_Thinking » Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:58 pm

That gave me major goosebumps. It's a great story so far...please don't ever stop in the middle! I need to know why Stan killed Kyle :shock: I think I agree with Devil_angel, did Stan wanna put Kyle out of his misery??? Keep up with the great writing!
Posts: 2905
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:24 am

Postby iceiwynd » Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:30 am

Kyle the Skeptic wrote:Is this the joint fic you're working on?

Nah. I can't fully speak for Dee here, but I at least know that the first chapter/prologue (whatever it is) of our joint fic is gonna be quite a bit worse.

ANYWAYS. Dude, you know I love you/your writing/... your themes, but I have to get my slight grammar nitpicking out of the way. D: A couple of typos here and there, but I'm sure my stuff is littered with them, so I won't focus on that. Rather, the one thing you should probably fix is treating your dashes like hyphens. This is probably just a stylizing thing, but at least make the dashes two points (wrong--will), or put a space between the words (wrong - will), otherwise it seems like you're just joining the words.

ANYWAYS, that bit aside - oh, god, I'm so happy to see that you did decide to turn this into a whole fic. The prologue is already pretty freakin' sweet. I mean, it's got the sheer kind of total angst you and I love; how could I not adore it? It's deep, provocative, and all that good stuff. Not to mention insanely attention-grabbing. You kinda just nail it in there right at the end, which is always a sweet thing to do. Cliffhangers like that = best.

As for the first chapter dealie, yeah, whoa. I'm kinda with Ali in this on that I'm wondering what the primary age is for the kids in this fic, 'cause when I first read the prologue I definitely saw it as an older Stan speaking. Not bad with the writing of the maturity and such there at all, it's pretty good, and does better when you have Stan emphasize the fact that in the SP-universe, the kids really are a lot smarter.

The description is awesome. It's slow-paced at first but that's totally fitting, it creates an awesome mood of confusion and "what?" for this chapter, and also how it's just basically saying, "this is nothing yet." Whcih is, once again, always awesome. Always.

So yeah - the language used is also well put together. It's a nice flow and a sweet read and you've got a good control over your words (at least you do when writing :B). Sounds like you still have quite a bit more to go through (which I certainly do not doubt) and I'm really looking forward to reading through it and seeing what your mind's cooked up on it's own, because I'm positive I'll love it. Completely similar interests aside, you're writing well and it's a fantastic start.
Posts: 1237
Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:47 am

Postby crazyQH » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:42 am

Thanks for the positive feedback you guys. Seriously, I first read your reviews a couple days ago, and although I hadn't gotten around to replying to them until now, they certainly made my day. =) I'll respond more specifically to your reviews tomorrow, I'm too tired to tonight. XD

But, to answer your question regarding age, I actually didn't write this with any specific age in mind. So sure...I guess you could say they're older, that works for me. However, there is a scene that involves "recess" so it couldn't be past the 6th grade. I may go back and edit though so that it can apply to them being even older, possible 14/15?

Anyway, here's the next chapter for ya. :)


Chapter Two-Propagating Hatred

Change…those trees haven’t changed, the snow hasn’t changed, those mountains certainly haven’t changed, hell, even this seat hasn’t changed. Then why do us, as people, have to change, and why are we powerless to stop it? Who ever said change was a good thing was an optimist, which in essence, is a stupid person who just doesn’t know it yet.

I leaned my head against the back of the brown leather seat, staring blankly up into the tin ceiling of the bus. I wasn’t used to the silence, especially considering Kyle was sitting next to me. Well, I wouldn’t have actually called it “sitting,” as it was more of a discombobulated flop, his head pressed up awkwardly against the seat in front of us, his pupils floating around his eyes with no real intended focus, and his body slumped almost limp in a position that said, “I don’t care about my life anymore.”

“So...Kyle…we’re, uh, studying great philosophers today…that should be fun huh?” I wanted to smack myself; that was the best I could come up with to break the silence with my best friend? f*cking philosophers? True, Kyle did like that sort of thing, and I always figured he’d be the next great one, but still, I couldn’t help but feel like that was pretty lame.

“Yeah…sure.” Kyle said, or at least I think he said, I couldn’t tell, his voice was barely audible.

The bus ride was fairly uneventful, or at least it was until we made it to Craig’s bus stop. It hadn’t occurred to me that if he was one of the ones who attacked Kyle, this could get pretty nasty.

I watched as Craig scanned for an open seat. He glared at Kyle as he walked by, and I could tell he was inspecting his wounds, which were no where near healed and Kyle’s blood still crusted over the areas of stitches. It hadn’t even been two full days since he had gotten them, but it looked as Kyle had been run over by a lawnmower five minutes ago.

He and Clyde took a seat adjacent to Cartman and Butters, who were unfortunately right behind us. I peeked my head out into the aisle and glanced at the four boys, then turned forward again, and I placed my hand on Kyle’s shoulder.

The engine lurched, and the bus continued on it’s less than comfortable voyage down the old, rutted road. Behind us I heard discussion, and it wasn’t long before I figured out who and what it pertained to. I sat still, hoping Kyle wasn’t paying attention to the conversation which was fairly easy to distinguish, and I listened.

“So, Craig, Clyde, Butters, nice job.” Cartman said. “You really showed that sneaky Jew a lesson.”

“Oh boy did we! W-we opened up a can of, er, uh, whoopass.” Squawked an overly enthusiastic Butters.

“Great, first us, then the whole grade, and then the whole school! We’ll show Kyle that we don’t want him around.” Clyde sneered, with almost the same heartless enthusiasm of Cartman.

“Alright men, good work, we’ll meet again on the playground. Tell the other kids to meet us too. Under the trees by the east wall.” Cartman said. It was easy to tell he was the one who hatched the idea for this thing, and this thought made my blood boil. I knew Cartman hated Kyle, everyone knew that, (for what I’ll never know) but the fact that he was trying to make everyone feel the same reminded me of something Hitler would have done. Then again, Cartman was Hitler for all I was concerned. I redirected my attention from eavesdropping to look at Kyle, whom I noticed had a small tear streaming down one of his cheeks.

I so wanted to punch those fucktards behind us in the face, not only for the fact that they were basically propagating the idea of turning everyone against my best friend, but for having the audacity to talk about it when they knew for damn sure he could hear every word. They had succeeded in destroying Kyle’s spirit, and heaven be damned if I was going to allow it to happen again, and by the sounds of it, it was only going to get worse.

Like Tuesday, Wednesday went by extremely slow. Maybe not as slow, but it was pretty bad. More than anything I was afraid for Kyle, he’d had it bad enough already, and I was ready to help him if anyone gave him sh*t. This leads me to recess, where I knew Cartman would be having his little potluck.

Sure enough, Cartman met with Craig, Clyde, Butters, and now the majority of the boys from our class. Curiosity found me standing by the nearby wall, again, eavesdropping on the group. Kyle was in guidance office, so I didn’t have to worry about him. Time to figure out what was going on.

Standing on a picnic table, Cartman stood, overlooking the throng of kids, which was actually only about ten students, but by the manner in which the double chinned boy spoke, you wouldn’t have known.

“So. We all know why we’re here, and we all know what needs to be done.” Cartman declared, projecting his voice over the expanse of the audience with an awkward pivot of his head, which baffles me, considering I never knew he had a neck engulfed in the fat that gave him his “festively plumpness. “We are all here, because you have come to realize something I have known for a long time. That one amongst us, the one who goes by Kyle Broflofski, is not only a greedy, heartless, double crosser, but a danger to all of us and our families.”

The group of boys looked amongst each other, chattering, and swapping stories and rumors.

“Y-yeah…Eric said that Kyle is the one who stole all our lunch money the other day…then hid it in the boy’s bathroom. Luckily for us, Eric knew where it was. Thanks Eric for uh, getting us our money back…even if you only found half of it…” Butter’s stated. God he’s a dumbass…

“Yeah…and I heard he was going to bring in a bomb and blow himself and the rest of us up!” Token said over the din of nervous talking. I could see Cartman was more than pleased with what he had started, gleaming happily to himself, his ember eyes burning with evil intentions. I’m still not sure what kept me from running up to him and socking him a hard one across the face, but at the time I felt the need to lay low for the time being.

“Okay men.” Cartman spoke up. “It’s time we give Kyle what’s coming to him. This time, I want full weaponry assault, pocket knifes, baseball bats, and air-soft guns are permissible. I want you men to give him a good old fashion Jew thrashing. Tonight, meet me by Stark’s pond at 8:30, and bring your weapons.

“What makes you think Kyle will be there then?” Clyde asked.

“Oh, trust me, he’ll be there, I ‘ave a little scheme hatched, you don’t need to worry about that.”

I watched as Cartman’s minions dispersed from under the tree, each going off to enjoy the few remaining minutes of recess they had left. I was angry, sure, in fact, I don’t think there is a strong enough word to describe how royally pissed off I was, but at the moment, I was more perplexed than anything else. Did Cartman really feel that strongly against Kyle that he’d turn half the grade against him? I was just as confused as to how Cartman was going to get Kyle at Stark’s Pond by 8:30, and considering I didn’t know Cartman’s plan there wasn’t going to be much I could to do defer it. However, I did know one thing for sure. I’d be at Stark’s Pond at 8:30 too.
Last edited by crazyQH on Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:53 am, edited 2 times in total.
Posts: 1237
Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:47 am

Postby crazyQH » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:50 am

Here's chaptah' Three. (I don't know why, but I guess I like to enter chapters in pairs. =P)

Chapter Three-Blood Stains in the Snow

Life, the concept of life is a strange thing. People, made of flesh, bones, and blood, all materials formed by the arrangement of cells, somehow have a sort of force within then that allows people to experience consciousness, thoughts, and feelings. Maybe that’s what a spirit is, that force that gives you that connection to the world around you. Life is the essence of everything in theory, without it, there would be nothing. Then why do people try to hurt or end the life of others? What does that achieve?

I could see words. Words? Why was I seeing words? Groggily my eyelids opened, and I realized I was staring half awake into the pages of “The Odyssey,” which apparently made a better pillow than it did an engaging piece of literature. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, stretched, and glanced over my shoulder to window. It was dark, I must have dosed off for a couple hours. Shows how interesting Ms. Garrison’s homework is. I felt uneasy, as if I had forgotten something, or as if there was something I needed to do. As I stood up, the worst possible feeling hit me like a ton of bricks. My stomach writhed in my body, and I swear, my heart stopped for what couldn’t have been less than four seconds. Kyle…Stark’s Pond…f*ck….What if I was too late?

I knew turning to look at the clock could turn out to be devastating if I had indeed missed the crucial deadline. Pivoting slowly, my heart sank as my eyes locked onto the unassuming hands of my clock, which read 8:35. I could get there, but I’d have to haul ass. Maybe it wasn’t too late.

It’s times like these when I’m happy I typically never take off my coat and hat, even when I’m lounging around my house. Definitely saves time in critical situations such as this. I sprinted down the stairs, faster than I had the previous morning and even faster than I had that afternoon. The streets of South Park seemed empty, only scarcely illuminated by a few street lights that were few and far between, and the iridescent glow of the moon that cast a dim light over the desolate town. The sound of my feet smacking the pavement ricocheted off of the houses, although my body felt more like it was flying than running.

As I approached the pond and surrounding pasture, I saw nothing but the empty field, glowing softly with a fresh layer of white snow on its surface, and the luminous reflection of the moon which made the pond seem as if it were made glass. As I got closer, I could vaguely distinguish a group of people, crowed near the woods. The silhouettes indicated they were my age, and the sight of a singular silhouette than appeared larger than the rest left no doubt in my mind this was Cartman with his posse.

As I approached, anger built inside of me. Around the center of their huddle, I could see Kyle, who stood with his back against the tree, his chest heaving heavily, his eyes wide with terror. His hat lay several yards away, and his mass of red curls spewed over his face, and it was difficult to tell his hair apart from the streams of blood that ran astray across his forehead and cheeks. The boys, most of which were armed with switchblades, circled him, insulting him and throwing snow at him. Several of their knifes gleamed with freshly drawn blood in the moon light, and as I got closer, I saw large red patches in the snow. This wasn’t good.

“What the f*ck are you doing! Leave him the f*ck alone or I’ll shoot you!” I yelled. True, I didn’t have a gun, but it was dark, and I’d pulled a gun once or twice before, so who were they to think I was bluffing? The mob of boys scattered, throwing back a couple more chunks of ice and snow, one of which hit me in the cheek which I would later realize left a bruise.

However, that was a paper cut compared to the wounds I saw on Kyle. I grabbed his hat from the ground and ran up to him, looking over his injuries as he lay awry in the bloodstained snow. He looked at me best he could, tears streaming down his bride red cheeks. It was only now realized the extent of his injuries. Four long, deep gashes ran across his head, on his cheeks, forehead, and neck, and the stitches of his previous injury hung out, resembling an old warn doll that a dog had ripped to shreds. Both of his eyes were surrounded by large, blue circles, and were barely cracked open. His body itself was saturated in blood, and his coat was ripped open exposing large slashes to his upper body.

“Kyle!” I yelled, realizing I myself was crying. Instinct told me to take off my coat, which I promptly did and began to wrap it around his larger wounds on his body.

“Stan!” He cried. He burrowed his head in my body as he began to sob. I hugged him tightly, feeling his blood saturate my t-shirt.

“You’re ok now. They’re gone.” I told him. I so wished to be out of the snow, out of the cold, and uot of this misery. I had promised myself I’d never let anyone harm Kyle again, and I failed.
Kyle the Skeptic
Posts: 2226
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:06 pm

Postby Kyle the Skeptic » Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:04 am

A couple of questions that have come to mind.

First, why would Kyle have kept the first beating a secret? In fact, how could he have kept it a secret? His mother would surely flip out when she noticed his injuries, and he doesn't seem the type to keep it quiet. That isn't to say I haven't seen other authors use him this way, but I'd like to know what has happened to him over the years to change his personality to such an extent. Why would he suddenly become quiet and reserved?

Secondly, there's the way Cartman is used, and again, I've seen other authors do this too. Why would everyone just hang on his every word like that? As we know from episodes like "The Death of Eric Cartman" or "TSST", most of the other kids can't stand him, let alone go so far as to follow his marching orders. I think they'd sooner go back to picking on him, than become his henchmen. Again, how did this change come about?

But anyway, good chapter. I hope you get around to finishing this.
Posts: 1105
Joined: Wed Jul 05, 2006 3:12 am

Postby DevilAngel16 » Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:37 pm

Dee, seriously, you amaze me. This really is outstanding so far.

All I can say is poor Kyle! >< I wanna hug him right now. I wonder why he has to suffer so much abuse and bullying. Luckily, he has Stan to comfort and help him, but still, it's pretty serious. Kyle, or even Stan, should think about telling someone's parents or even Ms. Garrison or Mr. Mackey. After all, Mr. Mackey knew about the first beating, since he was lecturing the kids on it in the first chapter. I think Kyle should transfer schools or something...with Stan. XDD They should run away together.

...Okay, my fangirlishness is beginning to take over, so anyway...

Honestly, I can already tell that, at some point during this fic, I'm going to cry. I just know it. It'll probably be towards the end when Stan actually kills Kyle (that bastard...XD). I think I'm gonna have a box of tissues ready when I read this, just in case. ;D

Oh, and I just have to mention something, in response to KtS's review:

Kyle the Skeptic wrote:As we know from episodes like "The Death of Eric Cartman" or "TSST", most of the other kids can't stand him, let alone go so far as to follow his marching orders. I think they'd sooner go back to picking on him, than become his henchmen.

That's all true, but you're forgetting the fact that Cartman is a manipulator. If he really wanted to, he could get kids to follow and obey his every command, especially the gullible ones, like Butters. So, although the kids can't stand Cartman, if he persuades (or maybe even threatens) them somehow, they'll actually do what he says, whether they want to or not.

But anyway, fantastic job once again, Dee. I freaking love this fic. Please update it as soon as you can. I can't wait to read more. ^^
Posts: 1237
Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:47 am

Postby crazyQH » Sat Dec 23, 2006 5:01 pm

O_K! *tackles* Dude, where'd you go? Please try to come online more, K'? I think I remember hearing why you didn't come here anymore, but I don't remember. We miss you and your awesome fan fic writing abilities. :D

And the next couple chapters will be posted in a few days. As I said, I like to post chapters in pairs... :wink:
Posts: 495
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 4:04 am

Postby Orange_Kenny » Sat Dec 23, 2006 6:30 pm

Interesting method that is. Just remember that if you only post one chapter, don't beat yourself up about it. I use to post three chapters of a story I wrote, finished it in three days. Not a very good one but whateva.

And I have been without internet for quite some time. Come on AIM, we can chat!

As for Stories, I write still just not on South Park. While I am still a great BIG fan of South Park, I am writing my second novel at the moment.
Posts: 198
Joined: Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:50 pm

Postby Elrog » Sat Dec 23, 2006 10:15 pm

this is very good i love it but butters wouldn't ever hit anyone but cartman can scare people into believing him except of course with skuzzle-butt
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Dec 25, 2006 1:12 am

Postby smileydork182 » Mon Dec 25, 2006 1:20 am

I love this!!! I wonder when there will be more:)
Stan is love...
Posts: 1237
Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:47 am

Postby crazyQH » Tue Dec 26, 2006 3:10 am

smileydork182 wrote:I love this!!! I wonder when there will be more:)

Right now. ;)

Chapter 4-Trojan Horse

Rumors. They’re just rumors, that’s all they are, stupid figments of mistaken peoples’ imaginations that they feel the need to divulge to everyone. Then why can I see a small, persistent light of truth emanating from the cracks of this wall of lies? Besides, that’s all they are, lies, and there’s no truth to them, right?

I sighed, watching my breath hang lightly in the cold Colorado air and rise and dissipate. It was a typical day, or at least to most people in South Park. Except me. Well, and Kyle too, but he wasn’t accompanying me as I walked down the empty street that afternoon, recapping the recent events that had unfolded.

Kyle had found his way into the hospital after the incident on Wednesday. That night I had called 911, and had laid with him until the incompetent and impromptu paramedics arrived. I learned some things about mine and Kyle’s friendship that night, despite the fact that very few words were shared between us and Kyle was more or less unconscious. I realized that the very fabric of my sanity lies within the bond Kyle and I share. And that night, seeing him so close to death, I broke down. After Kyle was hauled away in the ambulance, something inside of me snapped. I thought I had lost my best friend, and such anger built inside of me, I swear I could have killed someone, right then and there. But that was Wednesday, and it was a new day.

I halted abruptly as I came to and intersection of roads. The last place anyone would have expected me to be heading would be Cartman’s house, and I myself was surprised I was allowing myself to go over there, but I had to get to the bottom of this. I just hope I didn’t kill him in the process.

I turned down his street, making a b-line for his house. This wasn’t going to be a peaceful confrontation by any means, but I was intent on getting to the bottom of this. This was the kid who had flipped the tables on my best friend’s life, and I knew I had to do something about this or it certainly wasn’t going to get better.

His house was just as inconspicuous as any other that street, and I thought it strange that no one would think that this particular house harbored someone so evil, he could be the next Hitler. I knocked firmly on the front door, telling myself I had to retrict myself enough to maintain some couth. After a moment, the door opened, and I stared into the eyes of the boy I had so much disdain for. At least I knew how to contain myself, that was something Kyle wasn’t as good at.

“Come in Stan…you’re just in time for Terrance and Phillip!” Cartman said with false enthusiasm. Cartman was a difficult character to read, but at least I knew to put no trust into his sincerity.

“No Cartman, this is more important that that.” I retaliated in a firm tone. “This is about Kyle”

“Ah…I see. Stan, sit down, there’s something I need to tell you about you’re little friend Kyle.”

I scowled a little, but sat down on the chair across from him. I had to stay focused, and I wasn’t going to leave until I had gotten through to this assh*le.

“You see Stan, everyone else has turned against Kyle because, well, they’ve come to realize something you’ve yet to. And, I know you’re not going to want to believe me, being Kyle’s best friend and all, but there’s a lot you don’t know about him.”

“What do you know that I don’t!” I shot back.

“Well, I hate to tell you this Stan, but Kyle, well, he uses you. Uses you because you’re popular, because you allow him to attach to you making himself look ‘cool.’ Hell, he’s a thief as well; he’s even stolen from you.”

“No, no that’s a load of sh*t. He would never. Not Kyle, he’s the most moral person I know!”

“O really?” the fat boy chuckled. “Maybe you’ll disagree when I show you this.”

Cartman reached behind him, taking a small green bound book from a shelf. I looked quizzically at the writing on the cover, which had the words “Kyle’s journal,” ornately adorning it.

“I didn’t want to have to show this to you Stan, but you leave me no choice. Here, read it, but I warn you, you may not like what you see.” Cartman said, hovering it lightly in front of my face. I looked at it, reluctant to take it. I didn’t think Kyle kept a journal, but I hesitantly grabbed it from Cartman and propped it open somewhere in the middle. I wouldn’t have bothered taking it, if the handwriting didn’t disturbingly resemble Kyle’s.

My eyes scanned the pages, which seemed harmless at first, but after further examination, they revealed something far more sinister than something I thought Kyle capable of producing. The particular page I happened to land upon read something like this,

December 2
Dear journal,

Today Stan and I went over to his house and played his Game Sphere. It was fun; it’s nice to know someone who has a game sphere. When he got up to go to the bathroom I snuck in his room and managed to take three PS2 games, about $52, and even some priceless pictures of him and Shelley. Ya never know when you may need some blackmail material. I hope to use that sometime in the future, I’m getting sick of Stan going around thinking he’s something special. He’s not, hell, I’m just as cool as him, he’ll find that out some day

I threw down the book and glared at Cartman. “You-you wrote that!” I yelled, trying to trust my own judgement. Something didn’t seem right about this.

“Oh-ho, you think so huh? Tell him then Stan, tell him you read his journal. See what he does.”

“I, No, it c-can’t be!” I shrieked. I didn’t believe it, I didn’t want to believe it, was I actually falling for this? I buried my face in my hands and started to cry. I still wasn’t sure what to think.

“Listen Stan,” he said, trying to assuage me. “I know this is hard for you, but you’re better off joining us. You don’t want that sneaky Jew, er, Kyle to keep taking advantage of you now do you?” He placed his fat hand on my back as I sobbed. “You’ll get used to it, trust me, you don’t need Kyle.”

I inhaled deeply, trying to regain my composure. “You’re, you’re sure about this Cartman? You promise to god he wrote that?” I asked, looking deeply into his eyes. Everything seemed so sudden, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to draw conclusions so quickly. However, something inside me wasn’t letting me doubt this.

“Yes…I’m sorry Stan, and I wish I could say otherwise.” He said.

Tears again filled my eyes as I broke down. Then Cartman did something I wasn’t expecting. He leaned over and hugged me. “It’s ok Stan, it’s ok,” he whispered.

“I, I need to go home and think.” I told Cartman after a few moments.

“That’s fine, do what you need to do.” He said calmly. Was…was that sympathy…from Cartman?

I turned to the door, wiping my eyes. “Thanks, Cartman.” I said, before turning to leave. Cartman simply smiled.

The town seemed different. The street that Kyle and I had played street hockey on countless times, the pond that we had spent many hours simply sitting next to and talking, and the movie theater that we had gone to together when our boredom finally reached its peak; all seemed different. All of those places that usually brought back fond memories now evoked thoughts of something different all together.

When I got home, I quickly made my way up to my room. I fell down on my bed, staring emptily at the ceiling. I couldn’t believe this was happening, just a day ago I had made every effort to save Kyle, but it was different.

I rolled onto my side and my eyes came into contact with a picture on my shelf next to my bed. It was a picture taken about a year ago, and in it, Kyle and I sat happily next to each other on the couch. Why couldn’t things go back to how they had been? Or had Kyle always been using me? I mean, the journal entry was dated no more than a month ago, but who knows how long it could have been going on before that?

I felt anger mixed with extreme despair building inside of me. I snatched the picture from the shelf, and without thinking, I ripped it into several pieces. I glared at the shredded memories on the floor. I cried, and boy did I cry. I felt a wave of nausea, and dry heaved a couple times before running to the bathroom and vomiting. There was part of me that still wanted to believe the whole thing was a lie, and that this was one of Cartman’s stupid schemes. Why couldn’t I believe that?

Return to “FanFics and Episode Ideas”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests