Cold Metal

Put your fan fiction here, and keep it nice.

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ShaneHaughey
Posts: 11192
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2004 8:36 pm

Postby ShaneHaughey » Fri Mar 09, 2007 6:00 am

That's when I make a makeshift flamethrower out of hairspray and a lighter, grab my handgun, and finally drive it out into the open by smashing that clock and it's evil contents with a bat.
That's how it's down here on the farm!
vexille
Posts: 641
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:23 pm

Postby vexille » Sun Mar 18, 2007 12:17 am

This is a good story and all, but how is it that the solar colonies are threatening to wage war against their birthworld, and main exporter of materials, just in order to achieve some degree of local autonomy? I mean if, and hopefully when, we begin colonising the planets and moons of our solar system into the next century, wouldn't those fledgling outposts of human civilization be so economically dependent on Earth, that thoughts of political independence would be extremely premature? I thought that Mars preparing to nuke the Earth was exceptionally over the top. Having had the materials to design warheads not withstanding, one would have thought the martian colonists would have put their materials to better use. Such as maintenance of their settlements, and working to "terraform" the martian atmosphere and landscape, so as to make it truely suitable for future habitability. I understand its just a story, but I hope our descendants aren't that stupid or crazy.
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Calix Meus Enebriens "My Cup Makes Me Drunk"
Kyle the Skeptic
Posts: 2226
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:06 pm

Postby Kyle the Skeptic » Sun Mar 18, 2007 2:26 am

It's implied that they're self-sufficient. There are plenty of other places to get raw materials other than importing them from Earth. They filter their own air and grow their own food, hence my mention of the arboretum and hydroponics level. Plus, in the age of fusion power, all it takes is some water for the hydrogen. I know I didn't go into that much specific detail about the intricacies of the sci-fi universe the story takes place in, but I wanted to focus on the atmosphere and character emotions. If I had stopped to explain how everything worked, it would have disrupted the flow.

Besides, I assumed it was obvious the colonies had developed to that stage if they were contemplating using violent means to secure their autonomy.
vexille
Posts: 641
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:23 pm

Postby vexille » Sun Mar 18, 2007 12:56 pm

I understand. But as it was set in the late twenty-first century, I wasn't certain that, realistically, we would have that many habitats across the solar system or, for that matter, be at the socio-economic stage to be considered sovereign entities. But we never know. Its been at least thirty-five years since we had men on the moon, so at that pace of development, we might or might not have the first temporary settlements on Mars until the 2080's. I would personally like to see our civilization enter a new golden age of space travel and extrasolar colonisation. To become the centre of a powerful and unfied human empire, but for too long, we've been treading water by going no further than our own orbit. I'm not trying to criticize your work here, you really have a gift for this sort of storytelling. I've always had a fascination with the idea of living beyond this world.
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Calix Meus Enebriens "My Cup Makes Me Drunk"
Adan1992
Posts: 42
Joined: Sat Oct 14, 2006 3:52 am

Postby Adan1992 » Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:44 pm

This is a very entertaining fic from what i've read of it. Though it doesn't seem to give out that horror feeling that I think you are trying to create. But as far as a nice action-packed fic goes, this is pretty good! :)
Kyle the Skeptic
Posts: 2226
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:06 pm

Postby Kyle the Skeptic » Mon Mar 19, 2007 2:53 am

I was hoping that the heavy focus on action wouldn't detract from the horror atmosphere, but I didn't see any reason to leave it out, since a lot of survival horror themed movies and games feature plenty of action as well. Regarding the horror genre itself, I'm also one of those desensitized people who finds it difficult to see how something in writing can be scary, so I was aiming for suspense coupled with a level of descriptive detail that can make people wince. Hardly anything in fiction scares me either.

Thanks for the responses. I'll try to do better when we get around to writing "The Dream Master".

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