The Worst Fanfic Ever...haha.

Put your fan fiction here, and keep it nice.

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203177
Posts: 6599
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 12:14 am

Postby 203177 » Mon Sep 17, 2007 1:13 am

its really good keep going please! :D




Code:
Image
My favorite sp characters: Bridon(he's so cute!)
Kyle,Stan, Kenny/Mysterion.

Fave ep: ESM Season 12,Sec fave: Butterballs Season 16
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Postby Edduyasha » Mon Sep 17, 2007 2:37 am

203177 wrote:its really good keep going please! :D




Code:
Image


Thanks...

^ ^;
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
marvel_freak_42
Posts: 1776
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:55 pm

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:30 pm

:D
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Postby Edduyasha » Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:03 am

marvel_freak_42 wrote::D


Meh...

^ ^;
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Postby Edduyasha » Sat Sep 22, 2007 9:59 pm

Chapter 19: The Town and The War

Kyle snarled as he rubbed at his bruised neck. He cracked his knuckles and turned to Stan and Kenny.

“How dare she! You’re not supposed to try to kill your own kid!” Kyle exclaimed to his friends.

“You gave her what she deserved, finally,” Stan told him, “After all those times she treated us badly…what you did back there was awesome.”

“Yeah,” Kenny chimed in.

The three boys ran down the back alley behind the stores on Main Street. They started to spray the Anarchy symbol all over the back walls of the stores, when Officer Barbrady strolled by.

“Uuuh…what’re you guys doin’?” he drawled.

“Aaaugh! Let’s get outta here!” Kenny yelled at his friends.

The trio of punks scurried down the Main Street alley and turned a corner onto another alley, where they came across Warblade and a small detachment of metalheads bearing both clique standards.

“I knew you’d come by here,” she said coolly, “What happened?”

“Well…Officer Barbrady almost caught us tagging the back alley…” Stan told her, nervously.

“Barbrady? Ha! He’s an idiot, you’re not gonna get busted by someone like him for what we’re doing,” she laughed, “What happened to Kyle this time?”

Kyle gave Warblade a weary look, “It was my mom.”

“She’s a bitch, isn’t she?” Warblade remarked glumly, as she packed some snow into a clump for a temporary ice pack.

Kyle nodded and took the clump of snow from Warblade. Kenny nodded in approval and went off to converse with the impatient metalheads.

“We’re setting up sentry posts around our turf now…” Warblade told them, “Our turf stretches from my house out to Stark’s Pond, and then to the outskirts of town, including most of your houses and Main Street.”

Warblade led them out to the borders of their turf, where they posted small groups of punks and metalheads for night watch…

The front of City Hall was packed with mobs of angry parents and townsfolk. The Mayor stepped out from City Hall to her podium and signaled the crowd to be silent.

“…I know…I know. Your children have gotten completely out of control and they’re wreaking havoc throughout the whole school, let alone the whole town. We will find a solution,” she told them.

“But what to do now?! Stanley vandalized our house and Kenny threw a rock at me!” Randy shouted.

“Rabble, rabble, rabble!!” the crowd joined in his protest.

“My son Kyle had the nerve to break my arm! The punks have to be punished somehow! They’re destroying all of South Park with their cult-like behavior!” Mrs. Broflovski cried, pointing enthusiastically at her left arm, hanging in a cast.

“Rabble, rabble, rabble!!”

“Look…we’ll do what we can about the children! Just standing here and going ‘Rabble, rabble, rabble’ won’t solve anything! We’ll put them in juvie or something! We will do what we can…” the Mayor tried to reassure the angry crowd.

Mrs. Broflovski took the podium, a fiery look in her eyes.

“We must destroy this disgrace they call a subculture! Now is the time we take action against the Punks!” she shouted out to the riled mass of people.

The mobs howled in agreement, and slowly dispersed to start taking aggressive action against the brewing clique war and the Punks…

Back at Cartman’s house, Katy and Cartman grew bored of sitting around in the living room and pigging out on junk food. They ambled outside, and greeted the waiting, loyal clique followers. The mass of children cheered, and brought forth two blindfolded figures tied up in rope.

“Katy! Look who we found lurking around your house!” Wendy shouted.

Craig, Clyde and Token carried the pair of struggling bodies over to Cartman and Katy. They dumped them unceremoniously at the social leaders’ feet and removed the blindfolds.

“Well, well. It looks like that skank Warblade’s kind…a punk and a metalhead,” Katy scowled, “Whatever shall we do with them…?”

“Kill the damn punks!” Cartman told her, with a hint of irritation in his voice.

“But…don’t you want to see them suffer first?” Craig asked, as he gave the squirming rival clique members the finger.

A cruel smile crossed Cartman’s face, as he drew a dagger from his coat.

“…We’re gonna have some fun before you die…you dirty liberal punk bastards…” he sneered at the unfortunate captives as he turned to head back into his house…
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
203177
Posts: 6599
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 12:14 am

Postby 203177 » Sun Sep 23, 2007 10:26 pm

its coming along very well keep it up! :)
My favorite sp characters: Bridon(he's so cute!)
Kyle,Stan, Kenny/Mysterion.

Fave ep: ESM Season 12,Sec fave: Butterballs Season 16
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Postby Edduyasha » Sun Sep 23, 2007 11:15 pm

203177 wrote:its coming along very well keep it up! :)


Thanks... I actually feel compelled to finish this. I've tried writing fanfictions before, and I pretty much gave up each time writer's block came around. I'm gonna finish it this time, no matter what.

^ ^;
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
203177
Posts: 6599
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 12:14 am

Postby 203177 » Mon Sep 24, 2007 10:48 pm

good for you! :D
My favorite sp characters: Bridon(he's so cute!)
Kyle,Stan, Kenny/Mysterion.

Fave ep: ESM Season 12,Sec fave: Butterballs Season 16
marvel_freak_42
Posts: 1776
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:55 pm

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Mon Sep 24, 2007 11:28 pm

Silent Bob says:

Image

I concur.

And yeah, I'm definitely finishing mine this time.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Postby Edduyasha » Tue Sep 25, 2007 12:39 am

marvel_freak_42 wrote:Silent Bob says:

Image

I concur.

And yeah, I'm definitely finishing mine this time.


Dude, Silent Bob rocks!

:mrgreen:

I wish you luck with your fanfic, too! Perhaps you can get it into the competition thread! I know I'm submitting this fanfic, and I'm working on another new concept right now...

@ 203177- Thanks...

^ ^;
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
marvel_freak_42
Posts: 1776
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:55 pm

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Tue Sep 25, 2007 3:54 pm

Edduyasha wrote:
marvel_freak_42 wrote:Silent Bob says:

Image

I concur.

And yeah, I'm definitely finishing mine this time.


Dude, Silent Bob rocks!

:mrgreen:

I wish you luck with your fanfic, too! Perhaps you can get it into the competition thread! I know I'm submitting this fanfic, and I'm working on another new concept right now...

@ 203177- Thanks...

^ ^;


Unless I can tackle that, school, work, and everything else in the next three months, it won't be entered. :cry: But I will finish it if it kills me, because I'm planning an Entourage parody fic after this one.

Oh, I just found another Jay and Silent Bob video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6q3T0gz6SA

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Postby Edduyasha » Wed Sep 26, 2007 3:17 am

marvel_freak_42 wrote:
Edduyasha wrote:
marvel_freak_42 wrote:Silent Bob says:

Image

I concur.

And yeah, I'm definitely finishing mine this time.


Dude, Silent Bob rocks!

:mrgreen:

I wish you luck with your fanfic, too! Perhaps you can get it into the competition thread! I know I'm submitting this fanfic, and I'm working on another new concept right now...

@ 203177- Thanks...

^ ^;


Unless I can tackle that, school, work, and everything else in the next three months, it won't be entered. :cry: But I will finish it if it kills me, because I'm planning an Entourage parody fic after this one.

Oh, I just found another Jay and Silent Bob video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6q3T0gz6SA

:lol: :lol: :lol:


Ah... Surprisingly, school hasn't taken a serious toll on me yet... There'll be that occasional night where all the teachers end up giving us tons of homework due the next day, but those have been few and far between lately...

Good luck with your fic, though!

Hehehe, funny video. That duo reminds me of a few friends of mine...

:cartmanlaugh:
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Edduyasha » Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:21 am

Chapter 20: Night by Hellfire

The paradoxically brilliant winter sunlight eventually gave way to the mellow glow of the setting sun behind the mountains. Warblade, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Warblade’s bandmate returned to the familiar back alley after they finished posting fellow clique members on night watch over their territory. They surveyed their followers- crowds of punks with metalhead groups interspersed in between. Many of them had broken up into small groups gathered around little communal bonfires for warmth.

“Now that that’s over with…” Warblade remarked, “Let’s just hang out for a while, eat, and talk for a bit before we get some shuteye.”

She tore open a bag of Cheesy Poofs and tossed it to Stan.

“Well…what do you guys wanna talk about?” she asked the boys.

“Hey, Warblade…where did you come from? What’s your family like?” Kenny asked her.

“Well…it’s a long story. Gather ‘round, you guys,” she told them, “Remember, I live two doors down from Kenny’s place? Well, that’s because my twin sister, Katy, and I live on our own there. We’re also on supposed welfare, just like Kenny.”

Kenny blushed red beneath his dirty orange parka, and Warblade winked at him. She looked around at the boys sitting around their own little fire, and continued the story.

“It wasn’t always that way. I came from a once-decent family. I don’t remember exactly how things changed so dramatically back then, but I know this much- my father left us for some obscure reason he never bothered to explain to me or my sister and mother…I reckon he was in the drug trade, but I’m not really sure… My mother tried to raise us on her own at first, but she eventually became…abusive… We decided to run her out, far away from our home...”

Kyle and Stan looked on in shock.

“But…you seem so…normal like the rest of us!” Stan exclaimed.

Warblade gave him a strangely understanding look, and went on.

“It took a while to run her out of town. We eventually came close to killing her with a Molotov cocktail, so she left us for good. That’s when things started to split between me and that slut of a sister of mine. I turned to music for solace, which led me to the Punk Rock subculture. They understood me and my situation, and they took me in right away as one of them. Now, I’m the leader of the Anarcho-Punk division of Punk Rock. My sister turned to parties and drugs. To tell you the truth, she’s a dirty stoner and a whore. That’s why we fight all the time.”

“That’s why we’re here now, isn’t it?” Kyle asked her, “We’re avenging the wrongs that her clique has done to us, and you’re fighting her for what she’s done to you?”

“Yes. I don’t mean to put your lives on the line for the sake of our fight-”

“No. Don’t feel bad, we joined the punks because we wanted to teach Cartman a lesson in respecting people who didn’t do anything wrong to him,” Kyle explained to Warblade.

“…Well- enough about me. It’s time you three new punks introduced yourselves to the other Punk and Metalhead leaders,” Warblade told them suddenly.

As if on cue, a group of scraggly looking elementary school students approached. They sat surrounding Warblade and stared curiously at Kenny, Stan, and Kyle.

“Well…the boy over on the left with neon orange hair is Tom, the leader of the cyberpunks. The boy sitting next to me would be Damien…don’t you guys know him?... Anyways, he leads the darker faction of the metalheads, including the Death metal and Black metal branches, amongst many other branches of metal divisions.”

“Argh. What are they doing here?” Damien snapped at Warblade, “They ridiculed me endlessly before, why should I trust them now?”

“Just follow along for now, Damien. Anyways…the girl sitting on the other side of me would be Julie, the leader of the other branches of the metalheads. Chris is the redhead sitting next to Julie; he’s the lead vocals in my band and the leader of the ska and skater punks…and of course you know Kenny, the drummer in my band…he’s the leader of the hardcore punks.”

The five other leaders looked over at Stan, Kyle, and Kenny. All of them nodded, except for Damien. Damien merely crossed his arms and scowled at the newbie punks.

“Damien, can’t you just forget about that incident? It was so long ago, back in third grade,” Kyle asked him.

“Yeah, we were stupid then,” Stan added, “It was really all Cartman’s fault anyways.”

Damien shrugged and finally nodded his head.

“Fine. I forgive you, as long as you help me get back at that stupid fat kid.”

Damien then turned to face Warblade. His hands twitched as the little fire the group sat in front of seemed to magnify several times in his piercing black eyes. Warblade noticed his uneasiness and turned her attention upon him.

“What is it, Damien?” she asked him.”

“I’ve been thinking…we don’t have the forces to fight against your sister and her bunch of filthy harlots. I want to bring in some help from home…y’know?...”

“If you’re talking about the demons under your control, then Hell no. You nearly destroyed the school cafeteria last time and you wrecked the playground…”

“You don’t have enough people or resources to fight, Warblade. Look at us- we live out here in the back alleys of the town. It is for our own good that I summon my forces-”

“I said no, and that’s final. I can’t risk pulling Armageddon on the world, Damien. All I want to do is to get rid of the Poppies.”

Damien stood abruptly and leaned face-to-face with Warblade. Warblade merely gave him an apathetic look, egging on his rage. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.

“I’m going to summon my forces, no matter what you think of it!”

“No. I won’t let you. It’s too risky.”

Warblade shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. She stood and looked Damien in the eyes. He took a step back, and stretched out his arms. His hands quavered and he shut his eyes, muttering something obscure. Kenny, Kyle and Stan looked on at the leaders, worriedly.

Suddenly, the bonfire the group of punks and metalheads had been sitting in front of exploded up into a pillar of flame. The scarlet flames flew at Warblade, and she shielded her face with her hands. Shadow-like figures rose from the violent flare-up, as the flames grew in intensity. Warblade stumbled back, the back of her hands and her cheeks charred black by the inferno, as the other children fled the raging flames.

The violent flames and winds died down as suddenly as they had appeared. Damien sighed, opened his eyes and let his arms fall to his sides. The punks and metalheads watched on in shock as Warblade sat on the still-hot ground, cringing from the fiery assault.

“…A-alright… You…win…Damien,” she stuttered, twitching from the pain inflicted by the sudden burns, “You…you can summon your demon forces to battle when the time comes, as long as you promise not to destroy the world while you’re at it.”

Damien nodded, and turned to the main groups of punks and metalheads. The children backed away, but he shook his head and beckoned them forward.

“Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day, everyone. Go to sleep…I’ll go out and watch with the other sentries tonight…” Damien told the pensive crowd.

The punks and metalheads, including all the leaders, took his advice. They scrambled for good sleeping spots against the stores’ back walls and near the bonfires, as light flurries began to descend from the cloud-darkened skies…
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
Indigo Rose
Posts: 579
Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:27 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Indigo Rose » Sun Oct 14, 2007 5:31 am

I've just read the entire thing, and it's very nice- especially for a first attempt! I do see a few cracks that could have gone smoother, and I'll be willing to give my advice if you would want to hear it.
"Now Kyle, don't fly too close to the sun, or it'll burn your wings, an- and you'll crash into the ocean!"

(Awkward silence)

"Butters Goddamnit!"
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Edduyasha » Sun Oct 14, 2007 5:54 am

Indigo Rose wrote:I've just read the entire thing, and it's very nice- especially for a first attempt! I do see a few cracks that could have gone smoother, and I'll be willing to give my advice if you would want to hear it.


Thanks...it just so happens that I'm working on some new chapters right now. I'll be very happy if you let me in on the advice...I'm all for it...seeing as I'm kinda new to writing fan-fictions...

^ ^;
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)

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