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Edduyasha
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Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Edduyasha » Mon Nov 12, 2007 12:35 pm

^ Thanks, you guys. I'll probably be kicking this into high gear really soon, I'm going to try to get most, if not all, of it done by the entry deadline for the Fanfic Competition.

:wink:
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
polymorph
Posts: 1007
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:57 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby polymorph » Sun Nov 25, 2007 1:35 am

Like it seems to be building up to an epic climax.
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Rasputin, bring in the bucket of soapy frogs and remove his trousers
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Edduyasha » Sun Nov 25, 2007 1:37 am

polymorph wrote:Like it seems to be building up to an epic climax.


Thanks...yes, you guessed right. I'm working on the next few chapters as of this post; writer's block is no fun at all...

><

I have the end and epilogue planned out, but I'm still working with some issues in the middle part, which I'm writing now...
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Edduyasha » Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:57 am

Chapter 22: Morning of the Macabre

Stan awakened, yawned, and stretched out his arms and legs as he surveyed his surroundings. The alley was covered lightly by a thin layer of snowflakes, lit by the fading moonlight. Warblade was already awake and skittering about, waking up some of their comrades for morning watch. He shivered and sighed, watching his breath escape like a puff of steam into the frigid air.

Kyle and Kenny woke and started to brush the thin layer of snow off of their clothes. They looked around, wearily, as the subtle glow of the sunrise illuminated their countenances. Their peaceful morning was broken by one of the groups of punks who were assigned night watch; they had just burst into the back alley shouting something about a brutal execution.

“Oy! You guys!” one of the punks yelled, “Those sick bastards…you wouldn’t believe what they did to one of us!”

“Yeah! Unbelievable! I didn’t know they were that twisted!” another shouted, his voice cracking with anger.

Damien and his group of night watch metalheads marched stiffly into the other end of the back alley. They dragged behind them a large bloodied rug; leaving behind a trail of crimson as they proceeded to speak with Warblade. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny looked over in horror at the strangely silent metalhead group.

“Warblade…what do you make of this?” Damien asked her.

“What…what is that? Is that what I think it is?” she stuttered, fury and shock mingled in her voice.

The metalheads brought forward their bloody burden and laid it before her. Warblade stepped back in shock, as she realized what it was.

“No…no way…” she muttered under her breath.

Damien nodded slowly. His followers backed away slowly in reverence in a circle around Warblade and the corpse lying in front of her.

“It was one of our thrash-brethren,” one of the metalheads sighed, “They took his head and left the body in the woods.”

“That’s the body!” the other night watch group shouted, “We saw them kill the thrash metalhead!”

Stan, Kenny, and Kyle joined the growing mass of pensive punks and metalheads to take a closer look at the partially-frozen corpse. The punk night watch group pushed through the growing crowd to meet with Warblade.

“Give me a full report,” Warblade commanded them.

“We were stationed at Stark’s Pond, right?” the leader began, “Right about sunset, the crowd of poppies over at your house gathered all around the front porch. Katy and the fat kid brought out the metalhead and one of our punks. The fat kid pushed the metalhead onto the ground, Katy kicked him in the stomach, and the fat bastard knocked him out. Then, he stabbed the metalhead right in the heart; the bloodshed was unbelievable! The rest of the crowd took his dead body into the woods, and after perhaps half an hour, they went back to the house with their clique banner. They had cut off the head from the body and mounted it onto the banner, blood still dripping off the stump of the neck!”

“Those…those sick freaks! Even I know that’s against formal clique-war rules!” Warblade cried, “We…we need to get back at them today! That metalhead didn’t deserve such a brutal death, and there’s still a fellow punk in captivity!”

“Cartman did that?!” Stan exclaimed, “He…he actually murdered that metalhead? I know he doesn’t have a conscience and all, but he actually killed someone?”

“That’s…that’s just…messed up!” Kyle added, “I thought he just hated me, but he went through with killing someone he didn’t really know? I…I don’t believe it.”

The crowd of punks and metalheads looked towards Warblade, waiting for instructions. She shook her head and addressed them with a blank look in her eyes.

“We’ll have a burial service for an hour now, and then half of you will go gather weapons and make Molotov cocktails to defend our turf. The other half of you will follow me out to the town square to make sure those f*cking poppies don’t take the main part of town.”

The crowd carried the body out to the foot of the mountain closest to town. Warblade took a crucifix from one of the death-metal followers and placed it on the headless body’s chest. She kneeled, whispered a prayer, and laid the body in the hastily dug grave.

“He wouldn’t have died in vain,” she sighed, “He may have been the first to die for our cause, but we will win for sure. I know it.”

Kenny, Kyle, and Stan approached the grave to offer their respects. They took a closer look at the damage on the body that Cartman had inflicted. The stump where the head was once attached glistened with frozen over blood, and the shirt had been slashed. The torso was encrusted with dried blood, and the limbs showed signs of trauma.

“That f*cking fatass…” Kyle muttered, “We have to get him back now, it was so screwed up for him to actually go and murder someone!”

“If he’s got the nerve to kill some random person he didn’t know, think of what he’ll do to us!” Kenny burst out.

“Then we’ll have to beat him first,” Stan muttered, reproach in his voice.

The crowds dispersed to go about their assigned tasks, making impromptu long-ranged weapons in the back alley. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny followed Warblade and her group of punks to the town square, to start fortifying their defenses.
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Edduyasha » Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:54 am

I know this is really out of character for Cartman, but I did it for dramatic effect.

= = =

Chapter 23: Sweet Leaf (Part 1)

Cartman looked out from Katy’s house. He stood upon the roof and watched the mobs of children party on and on in the frosty front yard, dancing around in the warm glow of the sunrise around the clique banner. Clyde grabbed the standard and raised it up high into the air.

“Death to punks and metalheads!” he shouted, “Kill them all! They’re a disgrace to all of society! They’re worse than terrorists!”

The partying mob of children howled their approval as they watched the blood drip slowly down the hair on the lifeless head of the rival clique member. Cartman laughed, and shouted at the crowd. The jovial clique followers turned to face him, cheering rambunctiously. He sneered and raised his dagger high into the air, stained with crimson blood from the night’s execution. The ever-brightening sunlight glinted off the deadly blade.

“Let’s go kill some more of them,” he shouted to the masses, “I’m sure they’ll retaliate after what we did to that bastard metalhead.”

Cartman leapt off the roof with surprising limberness into the snow. He stood and the crowd lifted him up atop their heads in complete reverence. Katy waited on the street for the children to gather around. She surveyed the crowd, as she gnawed on a marijuana joint. She coughed and spat.

“Move it, you lazy f*cks,” she snapped at them, “We’re heading out to the town square today; we just got info about those dirty bastard punks going there to claim the area for themselves.”

Katy looked up at Cartman, who was practically surfing the crowd of clique members. He stared back and jumped from atop the crowd onto the frozen pavement. Katy laughed, starting to get high on her weed.

“Boy…Cartman, was it?” she sniggered, “It seems that the lesser followers under me love your attitude.”

Cartman shrugged arrogantly.

“Ha. They’ve learned to Respect mah Authoritah!” he declared proudly.

“That’s nice…” Katy drawled, “You want a joint? I’ve got a few on me…”

Cartman glared at her. Apparently, she doesn’t know that only filthy hippies and punk bastards smoke pot…he thought to himself. He held his instinctive violent tendencies back, and continued walking down the road, leading the devoted crowds.

“Aww…come on! A little bit won’t kill you…”

“No. You’re getting stoned anyways. You can’t think straight, you b*tch. You’re getting high already.”

“Dude…how could you not take this…sweet leaf? It’s…great…”

Katy stumbled, intoxicated from the cannabis smoke. Her dark brown eyes started to glaze over hypnotically, as her body gradually fell victim to the drug’s psycho-somatic effects. Cartman grabbed a hold of her by her shoulders and shook her forcefully.

“Damn it, b*tch! Stop being stoned!” he shouted at her.

Katy seemed to snap out of the drug-induced daze. She shook her head a few times and scowled.

“I still don’t get what you have against pot…” she muttered, “Well…I am the leader around here. If I want you to smoke pot, then you’d better do it when I ask you to; I can kick you out of this popular group of mine if I wanted to...”
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Edduyasha » Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:55 am

Chapter 23: Sweet Leaf (Part 2)

Cartman seemed taken aback. His expression exhibited a perplexing mixture of anger, dismay, and cowardice. I don’t want to be kicked out of this group…I have to kill off that nasty Jew and his punk friends…but how will I do it without Katy and her group’s help?... he mused…I need all the blind devotion of all the others, but I have to smoke pot so they’ll listen to me like they do Katy…? He eyed Katy with vexation, and his question seemed to be instantly answered right there and then.

Katy handed him a joint of marijuana and a lighter. She stared at him expectantly, with arms crossed across her chest.

“Well, take it. You smoke it just like anything else,” she told him, matter-of-factly.

Cartman rolled his eyes and took the weed and lighter from Katy.

“Go on, smoke it,” she commanded.

He lowered his head and stared at the joint in his hand. Cartman flipped on the lighter, revealing a tiny little flame in the chilly morning air. Unwillingly, he held the joint up to his mouth and lit the end of the joint.

“Oooh!!” the children gasped as they watched their leader inhale the wafting cannabis smoke.

Cartman coughed and wheezed. He narrowed his eyes in surprise, as he gradually adjusted to the scent of the pot smoke. Katy stared at him expectantly.

“Well…?”she started.

“It’s…not as bad as I first thought,” he told her, as he redirected his concentration to finishing the partially-smoked joint.

The pungent smoke floated around his face like a cloud of Death, as he sniffed the plant-derived scent emitting from the end of the spliff. Cartman shook his head in confusion.

How…how am I actually enjoying this? I hate potheads…yet I think I like…smoking pot…he thought to himself.

“Look at Cartman, you guys,” Clyde whispered to his friends, “His eyes are turning red and he’s kinda twitchy. He almost reminds me of a fat Tweek.”

“Where is Tweek?” Craig asked the others.

“I think he joined the punks…go figure. I bet they’re kicking him around in a mosh pit these days…” Token answered him.

The boys shrugged and laughed, as their leaders headed towards the town square to fight the punks…
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
polymorph
Posts: 1007
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:57 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby polymorph » Sun Nov 25, 2007 5:34 am

Good chapters, in the end I think as long as it's evil and/or selfish it's in character for Cartman. Intrested in what fatso's next move will be.
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Rasputin, bring in the bucket of soapy frogs and remove his trousers
Edduyasha
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Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Edduyasha » Sun Nov 25, 2007 5:40 am

polymorph wrote:Good chapters, in the end I think as long as it's evil and/or selfish it's in character for Cartman. Intrested in what fatso's next move will be.


Thanks...

I'm working on another part right now...I think the writer's block has gone away, though I doubt the quality of the chapters I'm working on now...

^ ^;
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Edduyasha » Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:54 am

Chapter 24: The Three-Way Fight (Part 1)

Shelia stood in the town square, facing the mob of angry citizens. She surveyed the crowd and waited impatiently for silence.

“This is it!” she cried, “We found out that the two cliques will come here to fight for the town square! Now we can destroy the punks- those disgraces to society! We have all of the parents and town authorities behind us, supporting us in getting rid of those twisted, unruly children!”

The people cheered and waved their picket signs around. They stood and looked about at the police force deployed to defend the town square.

“Randy…do you think this will work?” Sharon Marsh asked her husband, “I’ve heard about how savage those punks can be, and…Stan…I’m worried that he’s going to get hurt.”

Randy grasped her by the shoulder and reassured her, “It’s for the best, Sharon…”

Mrs. Broflovski started another statement to the single-minded crowd of adults when she was cut off by a large pebble whizzing a few inches from her face. She turned her head to face Kyle, Stan, and Kenny flanking a scruffy punk girl with shaggy black hair and a scarlet shirt with the Anarchy symbol on it.

“Hey, b*tch! Get outta the way, we have some business to take care of with a group of some other bastards! Stop wasting our time!” the punk girl shouted.

Shelia raised her right hand into a fist, threateningly.

“This is South Park Police Department,” the group of officers surrounding the townspeople ordered, “Do not move any closer to the town square. You Punk Rock followers aren’t allowed in this town. Stand back or we’ll arrest you.”

“F*ck you!” the girl yelled.

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny sneered. Stan pulled out a pistol from under his coat, while Kenny and Kyle stood close by, wielding switchblades. Warblade cracked her knuckles and drew her Warlock guitar blade from off her back. She held the two-handed weapon in front of her, pointing it straight at the mass of townspeople.

“Is that a guitar?” Ms. Cartman asked the other parents.

“I think it’s one of those ‘Warlock’ guitars the Goth kids talk about”, Mr. Broflovski answered, “Her guitar has blades sticking out of it, though.”

“Where did our son get that gun?!” Mrs. Marsh exclaimed in shock.

Warblade stepped forward and swung her bladed guitar, driving back the assembly of townspeople. The police officers rushed to the front to defend the crowd.

“Ha! You think that’s gonna stop us? You’re a bunch of good-for-nothing incompetent bastards who couldn’t defend yourself from a few children!” Warblade laughed.

She whistled, and a small detachment of punks-the other ones that went with her to fight instead of fortify their turf- ambushed the crowd from behind a large drift of snow. The punks rose from the immense masses of snow, throwing rocks, broken glass, and anything they could find on the side of the road. The cops turned their attention to the unruly kids throwing random objects at the townspeople, while the townspeople ran about, screaming their heads off. Warblade charged ahead and jumped at Mrs. Broflovski, swinging her weapon through the chilly air. Mrs. Broflovski stepped back and threw a roundhouse punch with her right arm. Warblade staggered back, holding her cheek and spitting blood.

Stan opened fire at the police officers, bringing down two of them with fountains of gore spewing out of their backs. His eyes gleamed demonically, glittering with the passion for bloodshed and revenge. Kyle tackled a straggler from the mob of townspeople and slashed his victim’s throat mercilessly. Kenny snuck up upon an unknowing officer and shanked him in the stomach, spraying him with scarlet droplets of fresh blood...
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Edduyasha » Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:56 am

Chapter 24: The Three-Way Fight (Part 2)

Warblade snarled and shook the pain off from her face. She dashed forward, when she felt something slash by her head. A few strands of her pitch-black hair floated to the ground, and a short throwing knife lodged into another person’s back, still quivering ever so slightly. She spun around in fury and directed her anger upon her attacker.

Cartman stood in front of his own mob, eyes red-veined and twitching. He twirled another throwing knife between his fingers and threw it high up into the air. The blade glinted with the sunlight reflecting off the serrated edge; it flipped over a number of times before Cartman caught it between his index and middle fingers. He aimed and hurled it at Warblade.

She dove out of the way, rolled across the bloodied snow and swore. Katy stepped out from behind Cartman and lunged at Warblade with a broken beer bottle. Warblade blocked her advance and parried with a few short swipes from her bladed guitar.

“Oy! Forget the bastards that have to do with Kyle’s mom! The Poppies are here!” Warblade cried to the other punks.

The punks, heeding their leader’s command, withdrew from attacking the townspeople and advanced on the much larger rival clique. They engaged the other group in mortal combat, felling numerous rivals with all sorts of weapons and injuring many, many more on each side. As the two factions battled on, the townspeople and police force regrouped to try to chase off the punks and restrain the other mob of children.

Warblade emerged from the maelstrom of warring children and townspeople. A bloody scratch adorned her forehead, accompanied by an ugly bruise on her cheek from her scuffle with Mrs. Broflovski. She stumbled out of the violent mob, panting heavily.

“Retreat! We’re completely outnumbered!” she shouted at her followers as she broke off towards the back alley, dragging her bloodied bladed guitar behind her.

Kyle grunted and pushed a group of Poppies aside, knife flying about in deadly arcs. Stan and Kenny joined him and followed the fleeing group of punks…
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
Indigo Rose
Posts: 579
Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:27 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby Indigo Rose » Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:40 pm

Glad to see you writing again! It seemed like Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were a bit too quick to fight, but otherwise it was good. Keep it up!
"Now Kyle, don't fly too close to the sun, or it'll burn your wings, an- and you'll crash into the ocean!"

(Awkward silence)

"Butters Goddamnit!"
203177
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Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 12:14 am

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby 203177 » Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:47 pm

nice fanfic keep writing as much as you can! :D


Code:
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My favorite sp characters: Bridon(he's so cute!)
Kyle,Stan, Kenny/Mysterion.

Fave ep: ESM Season 12,Sec fave: Butterballs Season 16
polymorph
Posts: 1007
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:57 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby polymorph » Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:59 am

That is big fat Oprah tits right there.
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Rasputin, bring in the bucket of soapy frogs and remove his trousers
THeDidNotKillKenny
Posts: 76
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2007 1:17 am

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby THeDidNotKillKenny » Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:59 pm

Awesome!
BRMBug wrote:Every time I click on the title of this thread, I keep hoping the next thing I see is "...BOOBIES!!!"

BRMBug wrote:...How the hell can you write on a condom?
marvel_freak_42
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Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:55 pm

Re: South Park- Factions (first fanfic)

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:20 pm

Did you miss me? No? Eh...

I didn't have a lot of time to catch up, but what I read was pretty good. Keep writing, of course.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings

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