Kennys Crush "Episode 1."

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Kenny's_Girl
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Kennys Crush "Episode 1."

Postby Kenny's_Girl » Tue Sep 18, 2007 12:43 am

Episode 1 "Kenny's Gal" -

Its was 8pm at night. Kenny was walking down the street. He looked up at the night sky thinking of he's life, Looking into this one star, he invisioned Kelly. Kenny looked down at he's shoes. he walked 5 miles with he's head down looking at the grown. After 15 minuets, he looke's up and notices a Girl With Straight Bleach Blonde hair, and a Black T Shirt with a White Heart in the middle of her shirt, and it looked like she was wearing Black eyeliner and black eye shadow and pink Lip Gloss, and she had ripped Jeans. She had a Suit case with her, kenny could hear yellings of a man inside the old, diry house, saying

Dude: You get out of my f*cking House you Little Bitch!!!

Girl: I HATE YOU BOB! I HATE YOU!! then she opened the gate that leads into her home, and ran out. she ran behind a dirty alley and stoped and just feel to her knees crying. She put her hands over her face, after a minute or two, she saw a shadow coming, she just sat there, waiting too see who it was. Kenny walked up too her and asked

Kenny: Whats Wrong?(Muffled)

Girl: Who are you??

Kenny: Kenny... Kenny McCormick. Whats yours?(Muffled)

Girl: Kelsey Montorogi.

They stare blankley at each other's eyes. Kenny helps her up.
Kelsey: Thanks....

Kenny: You have pretty Blue eyes Kelsey.(Muffled)

Kelsey: Your Pretty Hot Kenny

after a momment of silence of looking into each other eyes. Kenny heres he's name echoing from a distence.
Keeenyy?Keeeeenyyyy?Keeeenyyyy? Kelsey lookes at kenny

Kelsey: Who's calling for you?

Kenny hears He's friends voices.
Kenny: oh... its my friends Eric,Kyle, and Stan.(Muffled)

Kyle: Hey dude, who are you talking too?

Kenny: Her name is....(Muffled)
Cartman interupts
Cartman: A bitch, from the east part of this

Stan: Theres just a box to the left of her.

cartman: Exactlly, the Point.

Kelsey: Shut the f*ck up Kunt!

Cartman: What did you call me!? Am i going to hav't to slap a bitch?!
Kelsey: What are you Talking about fatty!?

Cartman Pimped slap Kelsey across her mouth.
Kelsey Falls down to her kness, and she lookes like she was about too cry. Kenny gets pissed, and throws he's gloves on the floor, and pulles down hes hoody.
Cartman: What the hell are you doing, Kenny?

Kenny: Kicking your Big, Fat ASS!

Kenny punches Eric in the face, and kickes him in the balls, and pushed him onto the ground. Kelsey gased at Kenny, looking at he's pretty blue eyes, Thick Blond Spikey Hair, and Dimples. Kelsey walks up too Kenny and Puts her hand on he's warm, gentle, face, and slowly move's toward Kenny's lips. While Stan and Kyle standing there whatching, and cartman pased out on the alley ground, Kelsey was moving her finger all around Kenny's body slowly, and softly, and ammerges him and kisses Kenny. Kenny closed he's eyes to enjoy that kiss, after a few minutes, Kelsey slipes her Tounge into kennys mouth. Kelsey opened one eye to see what was poking her leg. Kenny had a Boner. Kelsey Rubbed her legg gentally against he's boner, Stan and Kyle left, and cartman still Knocked out, Kelsey asked Kenny if he knew how to head. And of coarse kenny said

Kenny: Ill give it a try! :twisted:


I hoped you guys liked it. Dont be to HARSH, this is my 1st FanFic Post. THNXS for reading!! :D

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
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candies
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Re: Kennys Crush "Episode 1."

Postby candies » Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:16 am

Kenny's_Girl wrote:Episode 1 "Kenny's Gal" -

Its was 8pm at night. Kenny was walking down the street. He looked up at the night sky thinking of he's life, Looking into this one star, he invisioned Kelly. Kenny looked down at he's shoes. he walked 5 miles with he's head down looking at the grown. After 15 minuets, he looke's up and notices a Girl With Straight Bleach Blonde hair, and a Black T Shirt with a White Heart in the middle of her shirt, and it looked like she was wearing Black eyeliner and black eye shadow and pink Lip Gloss, and she had ripped Jeans. She had a Suit case with her, kenny could hear yellings of a man inside the old, diry house, saying

Dude: You get out of my f*cking House you Little Bitch!!!

Girl: I HATE YOU BOB! I HATE YOU!! then she opened the gate that leads into her home, and ran out. she ran behind a dirty alley and stoped and just feel to her knees crying. She put her hands over her face, after a minute or two, she saw a shadow coming, she just sat there, waiting too see who it was. Kenny walked up too her and asked

Kenny: Whats Wrong?(Muffled)

Girl: Who are you??

Kenny: Kenny... Kenny McCormick. Whats yours?(Muffled)

Girl: Kelsey Montorogi.

They stare blankley at each other's eyes. Kenny helps her up.
Kelsey: Thanks....

Kenny: You have pretty Blue eyes Kelsey.(Muffled)

Kelsey: Your Pretty Hot Kenny

after a momment of silence of looking into each other eyes. Kenny heres he's name echoing from a distence.
Keeenyy?Keeeeenyyyy?Keeeenyyyy? Kelsey lookes at kenny

Kelsey: Who's calling for you?

Kenny hears He's friends voices.
Kenny: oh... its my friends Eric,Kyle, and Stan.(Muffled)

Kyle: Hey dude, who are you talking too?

Kenny: Her name is....(Muffled)
Cartman interupts
Cartman: A bitch, from the east part of this

Stan: Theres just a box to the left of her.

cartman: Exactlly, the Point.

Kelsey: Shut the f*ck up Kunt!

Cartman: What did you call me!? Am i going to hav't to slap a bitch?!
Kelsey: What are you Talking about fatty!?

Cartman Pimped slap Kelsey across her mouth.
Kelsey Falls down to her kness, and she lookes like she was about too cry. Kenny gets pissed, and throws he's gloves on the floor, and pulles down hes hoody.
Cartman: What the hell are you doing, Kenny?

Kenny: Kicking your Big, Fat ASS!

Kenny punches Eric in the face, and kickes him in the balls, and pushed him onto the ground. Kelsey gased at Kenny, looking at he's pretty blue eyes, Thick Blond Spikey Hair, and Dimples. Kelsey walks up too Kenny and Puts her hand on he's warm, gentle, face, and slowly move's toward Kenny's lips. While Stan and Kyle standing there whatching, and cartman pased out on the alley ground, Kelsey was moving her finger all around Kenny's body slowly, and softly, and ammerges him and kisses Kenny. Kenny closed he's eyes to enjoy that kiss, after a few minutes, Kelsey slipes her Tounge into kennys mouth. Kelsey opened one eye to see what was poking her leg. Kenny had a Boner. Kelsey Rubbed her legg gentally against he's boner, Stan and Kyle left, and cartman still Knocked out, Kelsey asked Kenny if he knew how to head. And of coarse kenny said

Kenny: Ill give it a try! :twisted:


I hoped you guys liked it. Dont be to HARSH, this is my 1st FanFic Post. THNXS for reading!! :D

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Hmm. Could I suggest that you quite missing some grammars and you peculiarly need to checked your spelling. Anyways, nice story of Kenny's crush.
Xandir: And the important we are together, Draw toge--(Gets hit by the head)

Mr.Garrison: You go to Hell, You go to Hell and you die!
SuperMaids
Posts: 760
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 4:35 am

Postby SuperMaids » Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:45 am

dONt LisTn To Hm Grmmr anD spELInG donT counT 4 Much in FIcs anymOER than Mary Sues do, so for a first fic this is pretty darn good.
Nice and violent, with good descriptions and more than enough humour, even if the plot has been 'done' before, it's still AOKish,
polymorph
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Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:57 pm

Postby polymorph » Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:56 am

Is that the end?
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Kenny's_Girl
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Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 2:05 am

Postby Kenny's_Girl » Tue Sep 18, 2007 2:28 am

well, yes thats the end of that episode. the next episode will come next Monday. And i promise that the grammer and Punchuation is going to be ALOT more better then this episode.

Hint: the next one is probably going to be about Kyle, or Stan and Wendy

Put 8) if you want a Kyle Episode/Story.

or

put this :o if you want a Stan and Wendy episode/Story.

:)
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Guess_Who_I_Am_Not
Posts: 414
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 6:23 pm

Postby Guess_Who_I_Am_Not » Tue Sep 18, 2007 11:22 pm

Your grammar is terrible, and you're completely out of character. Your jokes are bad, too. Mine are so much better. My jokes kick ass. But you can't have them. I'm so modest. I kick ass.

JK. It's not the worst thing ever, but it could use work. Try writing more detail into what you have. :)
albino.black.sheep wrote:My cat ran away with an extra strong mint on his head.

xx_emuteeth_xx wrote:shut up douche im not retaded
candies
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Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2006 6:37 am

Postby candies » Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:02 am

Guess_Who_I_Am_Not wrote:Your grammar is terrible, and you're completely out of character. Your jokes are bad, too. Mine are so much better. My jokes kick ass. But you can't have them. I'm so modest. I kick ass.

JK. It's not the worst thing ever, but it could use work. Try writing more detail into what you have. :)
Yea, you should write more details of the main story. You're a pretty good author as a beginner.
Xandir: And the important we are together, Draw toge--(Gets hit by the head)

Mr.Garrison: You go to Hell, You go to Hell and you die!
Edduyasha
Posts: 2709
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:55 pm

Postby Edduyasha » Wed Sep 19, 2007 11:15 am

Guess_Who_I_Am_Not wrote:Your grammar is terrible, and you're completely out of character. Your jokes are bad, too. Mine are so much better. My jokes kick ass. But you can't have them. I'm so modest. I kick ass.

JK. It's not the worst thing ever, but it could use work. Try writing more detail into what you have. :)


Edduyasha seconds this...

Yes, I'm kinda lazy right now, but that's my opinion summarized by someone else, so yeah.
Goodbye, cruel world...
I'm leaving you today
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Goodbye, all you people
There's nothing you can say
To make me change my mind...
Goodbye...


- Pink Floyd (The Wall, 1979)
marvel_freak_42
Posts: 1776
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:55 pm

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Wed Sep 19, 2007 8:01 pm

Guess_Who_I_Am_Not wrote:Your grammar is terrible, and you're completely out of character. Your jokes are bad, too. Mine are so much better. My jokes kick ass. But you can't have them. I'm so modest. I kick ass.

JK. It's not the worst thing ever, but it could use work. Try writing more detail into what you have. :)


Damn, there are more people reading yours than mine!

Like G_W_I_A_N said, go into a little more detail. It's not bad.
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Kyle the Skeptic
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Postby Kyle the Skeptic » Thu Sep 20, 2007 12:54 am

I honestly can't tell whether or not some of those mistakes were done deliberately. :?
Kenny's_Girl wrote:Put 8) if you want a Kyle Episode/Story.

or

put this :o if you want a Stan and Wendy episode/Story.

:)

I'll put an :assface: to indicate that it might be worthwhile to go back and fix the grammar, and then an :unhoodedkenny: to indicate the story's lack of originality. Seriously, it's quite crude as it is, although nothing a fair deal of effort and a good proofreader can't fix.
candies
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Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2006 6:37 am

Postby candies » Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:25 am

Kyle the Skeptic wrote:I honestly can't tell whether or not some of those mistakes were done deliberately. :?
Kenny's_Girl wrote:Put 8) if you want a Kyle Episode/Story.

or

put this :o if you want a Stan and Wendy episode/Story.

:)

I'll put an :assface: to indicate that it might be worthwhile to go back and fix the grammar, and then an :unhoodedkenny: to indicate the story's lack of originality. Seriously, it's quite crude as it is, although nothing a fair deal of effort and a good proofreader can't fix.
Or maybe she need a Beta-Reader that could fix her grammar and spelling with the whole story.....if she wanted to.
Xandir: And the important we are together, Draw toge--(Gets hit by the head)

Mr.Garrison: You go to Hell, You go to Hell and you die!
SuperMaids
Posts: 760
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 4:35 am

Postby SuperMaids » Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:24 am

Why does everyone think this fic's so MEH just because it has the worst spelling and grammer on (this tiny part of) the net? It's not like they've of them have ever counted for anything in a fanfic, all that matters is how good the story is and how much detail's in the descriptions.
Unfortuantly for this (great first try at a) fic.
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203177
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Postby 203177 » Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:05 pm

yeah its good! But try and improve on the grammar a bit more



Code:
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My favorite sp characters: Bridon(he's so cute!)
Kyle,Stan, Kenny/Mysterion.

Fave ep: ESM Season 12,Sec fave: Butterballs Season 16
Kenny's_Girl
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 2:05 am

Postby Kenny's_Girl » Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:57 pm

okay! i will fix the Grammer and story Plot and Spelling for you guys. :)

Thanks for your Replys! :D

And i wrote another story! :)

Its about ???? and ?????

Cant wait to Post it :P

Thanks Guys For reading:)!!
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Guess_Who_I_Am_Not
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Postby Guess_Who_I_Am_Not » Fri Sep 21, 2007 10:32 pm

you're welcome
albino.black.sheep wrote:My cat ran away with an extra strong mint on his head.

xx_emuteeth_xx wrote:shut up douche im not retaded

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