I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

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polymorph
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby polymorph » Sat Dec 22, 2007 7:33 am

“Cartman, leave him alone,” Stan interrupted as he and Wendy approached the scene.

“Why should I do that?” Cartman said with a smug little grin spread across his face.

“Yeah Stan he’s the Anti-Christ dude,” Kyle Broflovski who was watching pointed out.

“Dude you’re Jewish why do you care?” Stan questioned his best friend.

“Even he can sense the vile doucheyness of this accursed homosexual,” Cartman said sounding very important.

“Cartman go away before I beat you to a pulp,” Stan ordered.

“Pffft fine let’s go Jew,” Cartman announced departing along with Kyle.

“Are you okay man?” Stan asked turning to Damien.

“I’m fine leave me alone,” Damien muttered.

“Look man I’m sure you have a reason for being…” Stan thought for a bit for the correct words. “A homosexual little emo bitch.” Damien looked at Stan both confused and offended. “You see awhile back Wendy here was being a little…” Stan paused as he saw his girlfriend giving him an evil glare while grinding her teeth. “Anyway the point is I was a…”

“homosexual little emo bitch,” Damien finished.”

“Exactly,” Stan agreed. “So I’m sure you aren’t just a little assh*le like a lot of the emo cock suckers out there.”

“Thanks,” Damien said.

“You know what I bet it’s your dad that’s pissing you off.”

“You’re right there.”

“You know what I think you should come over to my house and spend Christmas with the Marsh family.”

“Okay,” Damien said cheerfully.

“Okay see you,” Stan said heading off to the other corner of the playground dragging Wendy with him.

“What the hell was that about,” Wendy asked as soon as the couple had stopped.

“It all came to me in the blink of an eye,” Stan explained. “If he comes over for Christmas I can introduce him as my new friend and then I can spend Christmas with him, even though I’m actually spending Christmas with you.”

“Alright,” Wendy exclaimed hugging Stan, who quickly pushed away and puked in the opposite direction. “Well you’re getting better at holding it.”

“Yeah soon it will be gone forever,” Stan said wiping his mouth.

“Let’s hope. But I think there might be a problem a with your whole plan.”

“What?”

“Do think your dad will prefer the son of Satan to some girl?”

“I’m not sure, but we’ll find out soon enough.”



Meanwhile a certain Jewish child was having his own problems. Kyle sat picking at his food while his family were already half finished.

“Mom, Dad,” The Broflovski child began.

“Yes dear?” Shelia responded not looking up.

“Do you think that even though I’m Jewish I should be worried if the Anti-Christ is going to my school?”

“No I don’t think that’s anything to worry about,” Shelia answered.

“But he’s the incarnation of evils son,” Kyle protested.

“Only if your Christian.”

“So we can crucify another religions savior, but we can’t do any thing about their demons?”

“That’s right.”

“You don’t see a problem there?”

“Why would there be a problem?”

“Just forget about it,” Kyle said giving up.

“Okay bubee.”
Last edited by polymorph on Mon Dec 24, 2007 9:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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THeDidNotKillKenny
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby THeDidNotKillKenny » Sat Dec 22, 2007 3:31 pm

A ton of parts there are friggin hilarious!
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Kelly MacCornmac
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby Kelly MacCornmac » Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:51 pm

Our take on the boys reactions from Damien are different, but that's fine. I would like to see how this will all work out and...stuff. And a little error: “Why I not nice to Jews and there only a little bit better than the offspring of supreme evil.”

should be

"Why I am not..."
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby BRMBug » Mon Dec 24, 2007 10:30 am

I was just about to mention that. There's also a "too" instead of "to" in that last post.
“Do think your dad will prefer the son of Satan too some girl?”
I'm loving this btw.
polymorph
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby polymorph » Mon Dec 24, 2007 9:16 pm

Thank you all for pointing those out though spelling is not my prime concern(I always sucked at spelling tests).
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polymorph
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby polymorph » Wed Dec 26, 2007 10:43 am

New chapter for this wonderful fic that is going to go on longer than originaly intended just came up with to many great ideas so :chaos: HURRAY :chaos:
________________________
Chapter 3

Stan had left Damien outside his front door while he tried to talk to his parents. The nine year old began to approach his father who was sprawled on the coach gazing blankly at the T.V.

“Um dad,” Stan began trying to get his dad’s attention.

“Uh huh.”

“I’ve brought my new friend.”

“Oh,” Randy said waking up slightly. “So are you two horny for each other?” Stan’s dad asked bluntly.

“What? No it’s a he.”

“He might be a queer.”

“Even if he was I’m not” Stan replied clutching his sinuses.

“Yeah well how was I supposed to know you weren’t a homo.”

“How many openly gay nine year olds do you know?”

“There’s that Stotch boy.”

“Butters isn’t gay he’s just confused and manipulated.”

“Okay, but homosexuality aside. Who is your new little friend?”

“His name is Damien and he’s um…” Stan began.

“Well?” Randy urged.

“He’s the Anti-Christ,” Stan finished nervously.

“Oh well what could be more Christmassy than the Anti-Christ?” Randy stated cheerfully.

“Okay you need to stop with the alcohol,” Stan noted. “But for now it’s helping. ’Kay Damien you can come in,” The poof balled boy announced as the demon spawn stepped in.”

“Well hello there what’s your name?” Randy said as though Damien was three.

“Damien,” the Anti-Christ said unnerved by Mr. Marsh’s cheerfulness. “What’s wrong with your dad?” Damien whispered to his new friend.

“You really shouldn’t be the one asking me that,” Stan stated. “Come on you need to meet my mother and sister,” Stan insisted taking Damien into the kitchen where Sharon and Shelly were making cookies for the holidays. “Hey mom this is the depressed, suicidal, son of the Devil.”

“Why that’s nice why don’t you and your little friend go out and play. Dinner will be ready around six.”

“Thanks Mom,” Stan said leaving the room. “Wow that went disturbingly well,” He stated to his new friend.



On a not so festive street corner, a small Jewish boy stared into a puddle contemplating what he should do next. Kyle knew it was wrong to let the son of evil run amuck in his town. However, his religious beliefs told him not to get involved. The boy decided to go to the one place he always went when he was in a predicament like this; his best friend Stan.

It was not a long walk from the street he was on to the Marsh house. However, when he came to the familiar house he saw something that logic told him could not be real. Stan Marsh was having a friendly conversation with the beast that Kyle wanted to rid the world of. What was happening was Stan possessed confused, or perhaps something even worse had befallen his friend. The Broflovski child knew at that moment he could not trust Stan and that meant there was only one drastic option. Eric Theodore Cartman.
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Kelly MacCornmac
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby Kelly MacCornmac » Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:04 pm

What about Kenny? It's going pretty good, but your having Kyle overacting slightly. Aside of that, Kyle hasn't really trust Cartman...so how is that going to work out?
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby polymorph » Thu Dec 27, 2007 1:28 am

Kelly MacCornmac wrote:What about Kenny? It's going pretty good, but your having Kyle overacting slightly. Aside of that, Kyle hasn't really trust Cartman...so how is that going to work out?


Since Damien's last appearence Kyle has become more and more defined by his religon and so he is disturbed by the Anti-Christ's presence and he finds his parents opinion to be rather selfish. The deal with Cartman will be explained in the next chapter, but Kyle doesn't trust him he just feels there is no one else he can go to. As for Kenny I don't have anything major planned but I may have just come up with a nice little part for him.
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby AngusMcTavish » Thu Dec 27, 2007 7:02 am

I like how this is going so far.

One little thing: After Damien met Randy and asks Stan about him, instead of "You really shouldn't be the one asking me that"--it kinda sounds like he wants to answer someone else--maybe it should be more like "You really don't want know," or "Don't ask," or something.

Otherwise, that whole scene with the three was fantastic! His own dad thinking he's gay...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
BRMBug
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby BRMBug » Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:07 am

Oh my, I think Randy's moved on from hard liquor and started on the spliffs.

It's shaping up nicely. I can't wait to see where it goes next.
polymorph
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby polymorph » Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:16 am

AngusMcTavish wrote:I like how this is going so far.

One little thing: After Damien met Randy and asks Stan about him, instead of "You really shouldn't be the one asking me that"--it kinda sounds like he wants to answer someone else--maybe it should be more like "You really don't want know," or "Don't ask," or something.

Otherwise, that whole scene with the three was fantastic! His own dad thinking he's gay...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!


A couple of points
1: There will be no more lol on this thread without my permission, it's lame okay.
2: The line has to do with the irony that the son of the devil is asking Stan what's wrong with Randy.
3: Thanks a Ton!
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203177
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby 203177 » Thu Dec 27, 2007 8:30 pm

I like the whole thing. Please continue with it. :D

Code:
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My favorite sp characters: Bridon(he's so cute!)
Kyle,Stan, Kenny/Mysterion.

Fave ep: ESM Season 12,Sec fave: Butterballs Season 16
polymorph
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby polymorph » Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:45 am

Chapter 4

Kyle couldn’t believe he was doing this, he Kyle Broflovski noted Jew was going to Eric Cartman the biggest anti-Semite since Hitler himself for help. Shivers went down his spine as Kyle pushed the doorbell.

“Mom get the god damn door!” Cartman’s voice yelled from the other side of the door.

“I’m coming sweaty,” Cartman’s mom could be heard as she approached the door. “Oh hello, poopykins it’s one of your little friends.” Kyle walked in to see the fat child sitting on the couch playing video games.

“What do you want Jew fag?” Cartman asked the Jewish child not moving his eyes from his game.

“It’s about the Anti-Christ.”

“What about that little douche bag?” Cartman asked pausing his game and turning to face Kyle.

“I know it‘s not my business being Jewish and all but I really think he might just be evil incarnate and now he seems to have lured Stan into some demonic scheme and I still don‘t trust you but I don‘t know who else to turn to.”

“Ah I see,” Cartman acknowledged giving Kyle a sinister grin. “You want me to help you rid the earth of this slime to make up for Jesus Christ’s death at the hands of your vermin of ancestors.”

“That’s not it at all,” Kyle defended.

“It doesn’t matter why we want the same thing only that we do,” Cartman assured. “Maybe you aren’t a complete c*cksucker, maybe you’ve just been smeared with sh*t from the assh*les of the past and now you want to f*ck that little pussy Damien, so you can wipe the sh*t clean from your profile. It doesn’t matter why we are allies only that we are.”

“So what are we going to do?” Kyle asked slightly disturbed by Cartman’s imagery

“I always find the best way to destroy some is to make it so everyone else is against them and I know just how do that.”

“First I need you to star spreading rumors about are little hellion friend and then I will drive the point home with a nice little presentation. If of course he hasn’t already skipped town by then.”
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THeDidNotKillKenny
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby THeDidNotKillKenny » Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:14 pm

I like it!
BRMBug wrote:Every time I click on the title of this thread, I keep hoping the next thing I see is "...BOOBIES!!!"

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polymorph
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Re: I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Postby polymorph » Sat Jan 05, 2008 10:32 am

Chapter 5


Damien had been staying at his new friend Stan’s house for three days now. His father the prince of darkness had given hardly any care when he had been informed of his son’s plans for the holiday. However the thing that bugged the Anti-Christ wasn’t the neglect he was receiving from his father it was the attention his fellow classmates were giving him. The last time he was here he had to flip a table or burn a slide in order to get any recognition, but this time it seemed he couldn’t walk down the hall without hearing jibes from every student he passed. Stan and that Wendy girl he hung around with were the only children bearable to be around. Butters was friendly and all, but that kid had some major emotional issues that Damien didn’t want to discuss.

“Move out of the way freak,” Clyde said pushing past Damien walking through school hallway’s.

“Do have any idea who my father is,” Damien yelled after the brown haired child.

“Some guy who has sex with dead Iraqi dictators,” Clyde said blankly. Damien looked back at Clyde stunned as the boy turned around and headed back down the hall.

Kyle Broflovski watched the scene from while organizing his locker. “Hey look,” the Jew boy pointed out to Eric Cartman who was standing next to him.

“Killer,” Cartman noted in a mono-tone.

“The first part of your plan seems to be working,” Kyle told his semi-friend.

“Sweat,” Cartman noted still with little enthusiasm.

“I never asked exactly what is your presentation going to be?” Kyle asked.

“It, it’s going to be totally awesome,” Cartman answered somewhat nervous.

“Have you even started?” Kyle questioned in annoyance.

“Just trust me it’ll be really sweat. Okay, that’s all you need to know,” Cartman assured horridly shutting his locker and running off to class. Kyle simply rolled his eyes and followed suit.



It was later in the day and the once male Mrs. Garrison was having the class do their presentations.

“So Cartman how is your presentation going to work?” Kyle whispered to his friend.

“Trust me Kyle it will be awesome,” Carman continued to assure his friend nervously.

“Cartman you can’t just pull something out of your ass last minute,” Kyle whispered in annoyance.

“Firstly I’m not pulling something out of my ass last minute and secondly I could if I wanted to,” Cartman responded scribbling down ideas for a speech.

“Okay thank you Clyde piranha sure do leave interesting sex lives don’t they class,” Mrs. Garrison noted to an unresponsive class. “Okay next we’ll have…Eric,” Garrison announced as Cartman headed to the front of the class grumbling.
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