Kyle's Online Girlfriend

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Andy Marsh
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 8:32 am

Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby Andy Marsh » Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:43 am

PLOT: Kyle gets an online girlfriend, much to the ridicule of Cartman.

Please read and comment! That'd be sweet.

Stan, Kyle and Kenny are standing at the bus stop.

STAN
So Kyle, are you still talking to that Lyndal girl?

KYLE
Shh! Keep it down! Here comes Cartman.

Cartman walks up to the gang.

CARTMAN
Keep what down? What are you guys talking about?

STAN
Oh... nothing.

CARTMAN
Wait, no, can I guess? Kyle has aids.

KYLE
Yes, Cartman, I have aids. That's what we were talking about. Now let's change the subject.

CARTMAN
Damnit, you guys! Tell me!

KYLE
F*ck you.

CARTMAN
Kenny, tell me and I'll let you use my Internet! Porn, Kenny! Porn!

KENNY
*Kyle has an online girlfriend!*

KYLE
Damnit, Kenny!

CARTMAN
HA! An online girlfriend?! What a loser! She's probably some eighty year old guy!

KYLE
She is not!

CARTMAN
She's probably Chris Hanson!

KYLE
How can I be a pedofile?! I'm only eight years old! Just SHUT UP, Cartman! We go on webcam and everything! She only lives a few towns over and we're meeting next week anyway so just SHUT THE F*CK UP! I'm sick of your bullsh*t! Just let this one go!

CARTMAN
*Sigh* Fine.

Cut to Cartman ringing the doorbell of Kyle's house, that afternoon.

SHEILA
(Answering the door) Oh, hello, Eric. I'm guessing you want to see Kyle?

CARTMAN
No, actually, I... wanted to see YOU.

SHEILA
Oh? Well come in!

She lets Cartman in and they both sit on the couch.

CARTMAN
I'm sure you're aware of the dangers young children get exposed to online.

SHEILA
Yes, I am! Why?

CARTMAN
It's your son, Kyle. Has he... been spending an unsual amount of time on the Internet recently?

SHEILA
Why yes, he has! He's been on it more than ever!

CARTMAN
*Sigh* I don't know how to break this to you, but... Kyle's been chatting to a complete stranger, and... they even plan to meet next week.

SHEILA
What what what?!?!

CARTMAN
It's true. Even search Kyle's computer for the chat logs.

SHEILA
(Running out of the room) KYLE!!!

CARTMAN
(To himself) Heh heh. Sweet.

That night, Kyle is sitting at his desk, head down, crying. Stan walks in through the door.

STAN
Kyle?

KYLE
(Sitting up) *Sniff* Oh, hey, Stan.

STAN
Are you okay?

KYLE
No... my parents found out about Lyndal. I'm not allowed to go on the Internet anymore unless I'm being supervised!

STAN
Wow. That sucks.

KYLE
It's not even that! I can never talk to Lyndal again! I know it sounds stupid, Stan, but... but I LOVED her! (A tear rolls down his cheek) It was like I knew her in real life! We went on cam every time we talked... we sent each other voice clips... we shared EVERYTHING! We had been chatting for over a YEAR! Every day for a YEAR! And now... now she's GONE!

STAN
...How did your parents find out?

KYLE
*Sniff* I don't know. Must have seen me talking to her I guess.

STAN
Yeah...

KYLE
Why?

STAN
Nothing...

KYLE
(Pauses) Oh, Goddamnit! CARTMAN?!

STAN
I tried to stop him! But you know how he is!

KYLE
I can't believe he did this to me! HE'S DEAD! Seriously, Stan! (Running out of the room) I DON'T EVEN CARE IF I GO TO F*CKING PRISON FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! I'M GONNA KILL HIM!!!

STAN
Oh, Goddamnit...

Scene: Cartman's bedroom, the next morning. Cartman wakes up, every limb tied with rope to each corner of his bed.

CARTMAN
What the hell!??!?! What's going on?!?!?

KYLE
(Appearing beside him, holding a knife) Hello, Cartman.

CARTMAN
Kyle! Untie me, damnit!

KYLE
I don't think so. It's time to make you pay. It's time to make you pay for EVERYTHING you've done!

CARTMAN
Kyle, seriously, untie me. (Notices the knife) Uh... you're not gonna actually USE that on me, are you?

KYLE
No, what I have for you is MUCH worse. (Pulls out a remote and aims it at a TV, which is placed at the end of the bed) Enjoy, fatass.

He presses Play and a film starts playing.

CARTMAN
No... no! NOT DISASTER MOVIE!!!

KYLE
WATCH IT, BITCH! Watch every last second!

Cartman throws up.

KYLE
Kickass.
SouthParks#1Fan
Posts: 336
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 11:32 am

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby SouthParks#1Fan » Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:21 pm

This is a really good fanfic, well done seriously. A+++++++++. The reason it made me laugh and the reason why i liked it is coz' i could imagine the whole thing happening..ur a legend *applause*
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Andy Marsh
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 8:32 am

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby Andy Marsh » Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:59 am

Hi! Wow, thanks heaps! Good on ya.
Simplify
Posts: 16
Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:24 am

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby Simplify » Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:40 am

Awesome dude. Good job!
I could totally see that happening in a real episode. =)

But that would be funny if you put family guy on the tv since cartman hates it. but other then that it was very good. 5/5
ned15
Posts: 6352
Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2008 10:32 pm

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby ned15 » Sun Oct 19, 2008 2:54 pm

Simplify wrote:But that would be funny if you put family guy on the tv since cartman hates it. but other then that it was very good. 5/5


that's exactly what i thought when i read it that he would show him family guy. other than that very nice :D
"you musn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."
eames
GetToTheChopper
Posts: 28
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:13 pm

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby GetToTheChopper » Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:45 am

good job! that was very funny. :)
I would love to see it continued. but if not it's still really good.
007Stan
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:38 pm

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby 007Stan » Fri Nov 07, 2008 11:17 pm

It be nice if you made hippies hug him he hates hippies more than family guy!
203177
Posts: 6599
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 12:14 am

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby 203177 » Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:40 pm

Oh nice! :)
My favorite sp characters: Bridon(he's so cute!)
Kyle,Stan, Kenny/Mysterion.

Fave ep: ESM Season 12,Sec fave: Butterballs Season 16
michael the kickass
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:55 am

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby michael the kickass » Fri Nov 21, 2008 7:29 am

it was good but like with many fanfics it lacked hum0r by that i mean it needs m0re lawls g00d luck in the next 0ne
kaizokuai
Posts: 38
Joined: Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:24 am

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby kaizokuai » Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:25 am

OH MY GOD XDDDD

This is so perfect, it's unbelievable. You can always count on Kyle to get an online girlfriend, am I right?

Even though cough Kyle totally coughcough loves Stan COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH

Update soon, this is amazing. <3
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homeless
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:29 pm

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby homeless » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:40 pm

yooooooooo..
its awsum...
kill cartmn lolz..NOT!!!
hes mah favo lolz..

keep writtin n and update soon lolz..

ze3.!
Kenny Lover
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby Kenny Lover » Wed Jan 21, 2009 7:41 pm

This made me ROFL so much i almost pissed my pants.
I think they should make an episode with this scene.
BTW the 'Hippie Hug Torture' thing its awesome.
Great job man, A (insert 1,000,000 +'s here).
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TOTAL_BRUTAL
Posts: 529
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:41 am

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby TOTAL_BRUTAL » Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:51 am

That is f*cking awesome. :lol:

I could definitely see that happening in an actual episode.
Kelly MacCornmac
Posts: 6142
Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2005 3:05 am

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby Kelly MacCornmac » Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:15 am

It would have been nice to see what happened before Kyle got the online girlfriend, and how he knew her, that and I think that his mother could have used alternative tactics instead of outright pulling the plug per se. Also, it would have been nice to see the gradual attraction to the online girl. Kyle has a few way around it too. But I'll leave it all up to you.
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shalashaska1
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:14 pm

Re: Kyle's Online Girlfriend

Postby shalashaska1 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:38 pm

good plot but alot of things you had the boys say was lame if they wrote it it could be better then the last 6 episodes

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