(The Playground. Butters is eating an apple.)
Butters: (singing) Loo loo loo, I’ve got some apples…Loo loo loo, you’ve got some too…
(Cartman walks up, smiling.)
Cartman: H-Hey Butters...(snickers, holds up a straw.) I just lost a tooth, and i-it fell in this straw…so, can you suck my tooth out of this straw?
Butters: Sure, Eric! (takes the straw.)
(Stan and Kyle walk over.)
Stan: What did you do now, fatass?
Cartman: Heheh, I told Butters to suck that straw, (whispers) but it’s really filled with marijuana! (laughs)
Kyle: Cartman, you can’t trick Butters into smoking marijuana!
Cartman: Well it looks like I just did, Jew.
Butters: (eyes red) Dude, this tooth just wont come out, Eric…(looks at hand) W-Woah…
(Later, in class.)
Mr. Garrison: And that’s the meaning of life. Now, class, I want you to-Butters, what the hell are you doing?
(Cartman starts laughing.)
Butters: (Using a pencil eraser on his desk.) I dunno, teacher…I guess I…W-Woah, Eric, you are SO fat…
Cartman: (stops laughing.) W-What did you say?
Butters: I said your fat! (pukes) Woah, it’s like a rainbow…
Mr. Garrison: Butters, are you high?!
Butters: (poking vomit) It’s all squishy…
(Principals Office. Cartman and Butters are in chairs. Butters is still high.)
Cartman: I’m sooory, Principal Victoria…
Principal: And what do you have to say for yourself, Butters?
Butters: Your glasses are huuuge…
Principal: (taking the marijuana joint from Butters) I’ll be taking this!
Butters: B-But I’ve got to get out the tooth, the fat troll said so…
Cartman: Goddamnit Butters, stop calling me fat!
Butters: Oh god, he’s back!
Principal: Butters, I’m sending you home for the day. You can have your marijuana back at the end of the week.
Butters: What’s marijuana…?
Principal: And Eric, your suspended for two weeks!
Principal: You can’t come into school for two weeks!
Cartman: So whats the punishment?
Principal: That is the punishment!
Cartman: So your punishing me by keeping me out of school?
Cartman: (faking sadness.) B-But Principal Victoria, what about all my lessons?
Principal: I’m sorry Eric, but that’s that. (sigh) Butters, what are you doing?
Butters: (wearing Cartman’s hat.) I don’t remember…
Cartman: (grabs his hat.) Butters, that’s mine!
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