The Extreme Avenger League VS. Coon and Friends.
Chapter 1: Origins
Down in the depths of the Marshes house, the basement to be exact. Five boys sat around a long table. All around the basement was fake cardboard computers, and other cardboard machines. The five boys who sat at the table wore different super hero costumes.
On the right side, one of the boys was known as The Human Kite. His costume resembled the name well. Beside him sat a black boy, wearing all parts made out of Tupperware. He also went by the same name of what he wore. On the left side of the table sat 3 other boys. A boy with most of his face well hidden, an M on his shirt, and his underwear over his pants. He is known as Mysterion. To the right of him, sat what seemed to be a giant piece of metal covered with swords and some barbed wire. With only a face hole to let you know someone was inside. He was known as Iron Maiden. To the right of Mysterion, sat a boy dressed up to resemble a Mosquito. His superhero named matched what he resembled.
The 5 superhero sat around waiting. Just then a door was heard closing from above. A boy with short black hair, wearing goggles and a belt with various power tools around it headed down the stairs. He was known as Toolshed. In his hands he held a big white board. He then took lead at the front of the table.
"Fellow members of The Extreme Avenger League" He began. "Recently we have been working hard to get rid of all the crime in South Park, and with the help of Mosquito's mom's Lemon Squares!" A satisfied buzzing noise is heard as Toolshed puts up the white board he was holding which shows the words CRIME RATE IN SOUTH PARK with a red arrow steadily going to down and eventually flat lining at the bottom.
Toolshed then continued on his speech. "We have managed to raise over 10,000 dollars to stopping crime! We have installed security devices all over stores and banks in South Park to insure people can't steal with out the police knowing. Gotten all hookers, sluts, and drug dealers reported to the police and arrested. And finally... stopped all the littering in the town.
Various "Yeahs!" and "Woohoos" and a quick "Timmy!" were heard as the superheros celebrated this. The Human Kite then rose to speak.
"So now that we have eliminated all the crime in South Park, what do we do?"
All the Superheros sat around puzzled thinking of what to do next.
"Buzz we could play black ops for a bit!" Mosquito suggested.
"Yeah that would be fun, we deserve a little break after all this work." Tupperware agreed.
Toolshed then spoke. "Agreed, we have done are work and now lets go kill some god damn Nazi zombies!" All the boys rose from their seats.
The Human Kite let out a quick "Hell yeah!" as they headed up the stairs.
Across the town a little bit in the depths of the Cartman family's house, well in their basement to be exact. An over weight boy dressed to resemble a raccoon faced away from a table of 6 other children around his age. 4 of them had a mug in front of them. They we're all dressed up in costumes as well.
"My fellow villains.." The raspy voice of The Coon began to speak. "I have gather you all here today to.."
"Sorry I'm late!" A boy said breathing heavily as he ran down the stairs. He was dressed up in red shirt with white sleeves. In the middle of the shirt was a magnet. In each hand he held two magnets as well. His pants had a same kind of magnet pattern, red at the top with white cuffs at the bottom. For head wear he wore a helmet that covered a lot of his face, also with a magnet like pattern. The Coon put his hand over his face slightly annoyed. The boy quickly rushed to take his seat, and then sighed a few times to calm him self down and then looked over to The Coon.
The Coon let out an annoyed sigh and then began again. "My fellow super villains. This group known as The Extreme F*ggot League! Has erased all the crime in South Park. All the wrong doings GONE! And I for one will not stand for this bullsh*t! That is why I have assembled you, the most evil minds South Park has to offer." The Coon looked around the table at the group of villains, and began to name them off. "Magneteo" The Coon said as he looked at him for a few seconds, then changed his glance to another of his Villains.
"War Machine." War Machine wore a standard world war two Nazi Helmet. A little bit of brown hair showed from underneath. His face was a little deformed. He also wore straps of ammo across his chest with no shirt, he was much skinnier then the others at the table as well. He wore a pair of Cargo pants with a military design over his deformed legs, and held two machine guns in each hand, and His eyes we're a deep evil looking red.
"Poison" The Coon said as be looked over to another villain. This boy was covered in an all black suit from head to toe. Only having two cuts over the eyes in the mask in triangular form, and a rip over the mouth part so he could speak. His eyes also we're a deep red.
Magneteo looked around noticing that some of the others in the room had red eyes. He felt alarmed inside but manged to keep it cool on the outside. He was also to scared to interrupt Cartman again to ask what was going on.
"The Darkened Knight." The Coon said as he once again looked over too another villain. This villain was slightly shorter then the others. He wore a cooking pot on his head with chain mail welded on to the top of it so it went down covering his face. The red glow of his eyes could still be seen through it though. He wore a piece of sheet metal bent around his body. The same thing for his upper arms and legs. For his lower arms and legs he had metal plates covering the front.
"And finally.. Murder Girl." The Coon said changing his glance to the only female in the room. She had pure black hair which covered one eye complete and a little of the other. It was slightly spiky on the sides. She wore a white tank top that seemed to be stained with blood and jeans which were ripped in various places, and a belt that seemed to have two gun holsters. She also had a katana on her back, and like the others she had bright red evil eyes.
The Coon began to speak again after glancing over his new evil team. "And you villains are gonna help me des.."
"Uhh, you forgot about me and General Disarray Eric." Professor Chaos said softly. Upon hearing the last word of this sentance, The Coon slammed his fist into Professor Chaos's Face Knocking him out of his chair and on to the hard basement floor.
"You don't f*cking know who I am you f*cking dipshit! I'm not Eric I'm The Coon, f*ck!" The Coon heavily breathed for a few seconds and then calmed down. General Disarray helped Professor Chaos back into his seat.
"I-I'm sorry Coon.." Professor Chaos said weakly as he rubbed the side of his face.
"You better be Chaos" The coon said with a dark serious tone. "Or I'll slice your f*cking balls off." Professor Chaos then nervously looked down at his pants. The Coon then began to speak again. "Alright my team of super villains, it's time for us to bring crime and hate back to this town! I used to think being good got you somewhere, but it doesn't. All it may get you is a f*cking medal or something. But being evil.." A dark grin came to The Coons face. "Being Evil gets you whatever the f*ck you want. Money, Gold, POWER! We can have it all.
First we will start by taking control of this town, and eliminate The Extreme Avenger League, and then take over the whole World." As The Coon ended this statement, he clenched his fist then quickly undid so because his claws dug into his hand. "Awwh Dammit, f*ck!"
End of chapter one
The Coon came back down stairs with four band aids on his hands, from the stupid mistake he made a two minutes prior. He walked over to the front of the table and looked at his team of evil doers. 4 of them with bright red glowing eyes. An evil grin crossed The Coons face.
"Alright Coon and friends, it's time for us to bring the crime rate in this town back up, and undo everything those assh*les have done!" The Coon looked around the table and then pointed a claw at The Darkened Night.
"You and War Machine go rob some stores. I've heard they got better protection now, but that should be no problem for War Machines new crutches." War Machine and The Darkened Knight got out of their seats, and headed for the stairs of the basement.
"We shall do thy bidding." Said The Darkened Knight in a really low evil voice.
"Ye-ye-yeah, we're gonna fu-fu-fuck sh*t up!" War Machine responded after. The two of them both then headed up the stairs and out the door.
"YOU!" The Coon yelled as he pointed to the villain Poison. "Are gonna get all the hookers and dudes too ugly to have girlfriends out of the jail."
"How do I do that?" Poison asked in a voice that had the same kinda rasp as Mysterion only slightly lower.
"With this of course." The Coon then reached into his back pocket, and threw over a key ring with tons of keys on it to Poison. "Stopped all the crime in the city? Pff I stole these from the jail."
"Then why didn't you just unlock them your self when you were there?" Poison questioned.
"Because.. uh, Just do what I say!"
Poison rose from his seat, and went up the basement stairs, and out the door.
"Alright Megneteo. You are gonna go to a wine store, steal like 4 bottles, then take these rags," The Coon then held up about 5 white rags. "stuff them in the bottle, and then set the tip on fire and then chuck it in another store! Like the pet store, or K-mart or, some sh*t like that."
"You want me to burn down a pet store?! No way, no way!" Magneteo said in a paniced voice.
The Coon put his hand on his head, and closed his eyes. Then let out a deep sigh. "Alright Murder Girl, its up to you." The Coon then threw the rags over to her. She smiled, and with out a word took them, and headed up the stairs. Magneteo started looking around the room panicked.
"Hey uh, Coon? How come everybody but me, General Disarray, and Megneteo have red glowing eyes?" Professor Chaos questioned.
"Oh that's very simple I've turned them actually evil."
"Well how'd you do that?"
"Well Chaos I found this super awesome ordering website online. You can order anything, and I, well I ordered this evil little serum." The Coon got up and slowly walked over to a table off to the right of the room. He took a coffee pot off a burner, and poured it into a mug. He then took a little red vile and poured it in the coffee. He then began walking back with the coffee mug in hand. "You see Chaos, most of the kids at school I asked to join my evil group said no. Forcing me to have to come up with my own plan to make them join, and as you can tell it worked perfectly."
"How'd you get everyone here?" General Disarray said in his nasally voice.
"Well I told everyone if they came here I'd give them 50 dollars, because I was lonely, but That was a f*cking lie. I told them I wanna play super villains, but my assh*le friends don't wanna play. So with the work of my fake bribe they all showed up, and if you look at the table. You can see those 4 mugs, and guess what I put in those 4 mugs. This evil serum" The Coon held up the vile.
Magneto then jumped up in alarm. "Gah you don't wanna play you, you, you, actually wanna turn this town back into a crime uh, town!"
The Coon slowly walked over to him, and put his arm around him causing Magneteo to flinch a little. "Magneteo, why don't you drink this?"
"No way, no way! You just told me it was evil serum!"
"It's coffee." The Coon said in a flat voice, and with in a second Magneteo took the mug and drank it all in a second.
"Oh god, what have I don.." Magneteo stopped talking mid sentence, and then his eyes turned the same bright red as the others.
The Coon smiled with evil delight. "Now Magneteo be a pal and, go do some B and E's. Take and break whatever the f*ck you like"
"Alright Coon." Magneteo responded sounding more dark and raspy, and less then panicky like before.
He as the others headed up the stairs, and out the door.
"Hey coon how come me and General Disarray didn't get any of that stuff?"
"Well Chaos I thought you were evil enough but if you want some.."
"YEAH I wanna be as evil as I can be!"
The Coon briefly snicked "Well alright then Chaos!" The Coon smiled then headed off to the same table as before got a mug and hid behind a piece of cardboard set up like a fake computer.
"Uh Er- Uh I mean Coon why are you going back there?"
"Because Chaos this is where i keep the extra serum I'm just adding it to your drink now." The Coon snicked once again. After about 20 seconds he came back and gave Professor Chaos the mug.
"Oh boy I'm gonna be super evil." With out thinking Professor Chaos began to chug it then stopped, and spat it out. He coughed a few times as The Coon burst out into full on laughing. "Ewwww that was pee."
"Ahahaha sorry chaos little super villain joke you know, But" The Coon quickly snicked one last time "But enough playing around, it's time to assign you two your evil duty."
"And what is our evil duty?" General Disarray asked as Professor Chaos put the mug down on the floor.
"See those garbage bags over there? Take them and litter up the whole town."
"OKAY!" Professor Chaos said happily as he, and General Disarray took two bags each, and went up the stairs like everyone before them.
The Coon let out a sigh, and then smiled. "Cool now I've got all these assh*les to do my work for me." He walked back over to the head of the table and sat in his chair. "Get ready Extreme Avenger League all your work is about to be undone."
End of Chapter 2
The basement door at the Marshes swung open, as the 6 superheros returns from playing Black Ops. The Human Kite was quick to comment on Mysterions performance.
"Mysterion, you did terrible today."
"Yeah, you died over and over." Toolshed added
Mysterion let out a sigh "Don't worry I'm use to it." A sentence only he would understand correctly.
Just then a sudden beeping was heard through The Extreme Avenger League's base, and red lights began to flash. All the boys looked around confused. They had not heard this in a long time. Without a word Toolshed quickly ran over to a giant 60 inch flat screen TV on the wall. Above it had a cheep cardboard sign that said Extreme Avenger League emergence screen. Toolshed quickly turned on the TV. The other superheros gathered behind him as a news report came on.
"Tom, I'm standing out here, and its just terrible Tom."
"Terrible? What the heck's going on bzzz." Mosquito asked, with a worried look upon his face.
"Shh and we'll find out!" Toolshed responded.
The TV showed a store camera in grainy black and white. The camera showed the store being held up by a kid dressed in mostly metal, and another kid looked like a solider in a way.
The kid dressed mostly in metal was looting various thing from the store as the one with machine gun crutches held up the clerk.
On the tape, the voice of one of the villains holding up the store let out a threat to the clerk. "You, better give us the fu-fu-fu-fucking money or else you're scre-screbehh- screwed!"
The clerk nervously responded. "Well, you are on camera, so the cops will be here soon!."
"Ye-ye-Yeah?" War Machine, aimed one of his machine gun crunches at the camera and shot it. The TV faded to static. The Extreme Avenger League stood in shock to what they just saw.
The news reporter continued on. "There have also been reports of Breaking and entering from all over town, security camera's being smashed, and litter has been showing up everywhere Tom. South Park seems to have a crew of super villains causing havoc.
The only question now, is who will save us. Back to you Tom."
The Extreme Avenger League Stood around. Toolshed then got a determined look to his face.
"We have to stop this guys! A group of evil is undoing everything we have worked to stop!"
"Toolshed is right, we worked so hard on ridding crime and now it's on the rise!" The Human Kite added.
"Alright let's get out there, and stop those criminals!" Tupperware agreed.
The group was quick to head outside the base and out the door.
"So where do we go first?" The Human Kite questioned?
Toolshed though for a second . "A few blocks down from here, is where that corner store was being robbed. If we can make it fast enough, we can stop them while in action!"
"Timmy!" Iron Maiden let out in agreement.
The group quick ran down a few blocks, but as they turned down a street they stopped in horror. A girl was lighting a Molotov cocktail. She then threw it directly into the South Park animal shelter. Burning animals began running out of the shelter.
"Dude!" Toolshed, screamed in shock.
This caught her attention, as she looked over at the superheros. She let out a dark evil smile, and threw another one into another building. The superheros stood in shock. She pulled out another one. Quickly glanced at it, and then threw it in their direction. They all dove out of the way, barley avoiding the exploding Molotov, that left a pile of fire around them.
"Holy sh*t, who the f*ck is that?" Toolshed said breathing heavily as he pulled him self off the ground.
Mysterion got up sanding beside him. "I have no idea, but shes clearly got the upper hand on us."
The two looked up at the roof of a building. She now stood upon it.
"Stop you crazy bitch!" Mysterion, yelled at her. While looking at her, he noticed the bright evil red colour coming from the one of her eyes that was showing.
She smiled at him then threw the last cocktail right over the superheros into a Country Kitchen Buffet. After this action, she quickly ran off out of sight from the top of the buildings.
The superheros looked around horrified to what they just witness. Flaming buildings and dead burning animals lie all over the street.
"We're not dealing with any run of the mill Villians here." Mysterion said.
"Did you see her eyes buzzzz, they we're all bright and red!" Mosquito, said as him and the other superheros gathered behind Toolshed and Mysterion.
"Yeah we noticed." Toolshed responded.
"How the hell are we gonna stop these villains!" The Human Kite, questioned.
"It's gonna be a tough job." Mysterion responded. "But I think we can handle this."
"Mysterion's right! We've dealt with bigger problems than this." Toolshed reminded them.
"You're right, and we still have that store to get to." The Human Kite reminded everyone.
"That's right Human Kite! Extreme Avenger League, Lets go!"
The team was quickly was quickly on the run again. They only had two blocks to go. They ran all the way to the store, and stopped dead in their tracks when they entered. The Store clerk lie dead hanging over the counter with thousands of bullet holes in him. The store was smashed up, and various things were stolen. The superheros stood in shock. The previous encounter they had before had caused then to be to late to the scene.
"Guys, this is gonna be a lot harder then we thought.."
Toolshed, said as he looked at a smashed up camera they had previously installed in the store.
End of Chapter 3
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