Ignore any spelling errors, etc. I just wrote stuff down as I though of it, so some things may have to be read between the lines.
Feel free to reply, again, I've never done anything like this, I just thought it would be a funny storyline.
PETA Bread (working title)
Episode starts with the four boys watching crab fisherman on TV, then they switch to whale wars, then they switch to Meerkat manner, then see a PETA commercial. The commercial is basically calling them killers/murderers for eating animals. Commercial jumps from a family eating, to animals crying/howling before they are turned to food.
Cartman is making wisecracks the entire time, but Kyle is affixed to the television, almost has an epiphany; he needs to help the animals of the Earth, or, as PETA says, they will all become extinct… in the next 27 years and 14 days. Fine print and speed reader at end of commercial says give or take a few millennia, along with some other interesting facts.
At the end of the commercial Kyle proclaims that he is the chosen one, the one who was put on this earth to free the animals. Cartman then makes jokes, comparing him to Jesus the jews (chosen people), Kyle corrects Cartman and explains he will be more like Noah, not moses.
Kyles grand plan is to start by freeing all the animals in South Park, then spreading outward, to the rest of the country, and the world. He tries to call Peta to help get some funding, but he keeps on hearing recorded phone messages about not eating fish, as they have faces, and not to wear fur. If you do you wear fur, they will find you and throw paint on you…. na na na na na na.
So he can't get the help of PETA, he enlists Stan, Cartman, and Kenny, Butters to help in in his quest. The other's think it's a noble idea, but Cartman only agrees to do it if Kyle builds an arc and never returns to South Park. Kyle says that if succeeds in freeing the animals in South Park, his work won't be done until the entire Earth's animals are free, and he predicts he'll try to save them until his last dying breath. Cartman agrees to help.
So once the "gathering" starts, before the pets are stolen (that's how they free the animals-- they steal them from their owners), it shows how much the families love them, and are interacting with them. They are really like people to them, treated much better than they would if they were free on their own. Before the animals are snatched, one family is prepared to give their old dog it's medicine, to prevent it's agonizing pain. One family is about to feed the animal. One family is singing to the dog as it sleeps. The families show how much they REALLY love their animals. When the owner's are not looking, the kid steal them. They tempt the animals with food and sexy pictures of other animals.
The animals are then stolen from their loving families, and placed into large cages, behind Starks Pond. These are the holding pens. The boys try to keep "like animals" together, but during the night, a few "accidents" happen. There are also a few fish pools, but chemicals leeching from the old plastic seem to cause a chain reaction fish mutation. If these fish are released, they will be vulnerable to native grasses and fishes in the pond, rendering the species completely useless.
The town is going crazy, thinking there is a cult that is using their animals for sacrifice. They suspect vampires, and at night go out in search of whomever is stealing their animals. They are so enraged, that ordinary people who have no good reason for being out at night, "such as it's a nice night to take a walk," the mob fights them (or violently beats them and has them prove to them they are not vampires by denouncing the vampire race). All bloodied, the mob moves on. If they kill the person, they are not a vampire. After they beat to death a human, they shout, "SAVE THE ANIMALS" and "ANIMAL RIGHTS."
### The point of the violence is to show that these people would do anything for their pets/animals, but wouldn't hesitate to pummel a human over lesser acts ###
So back to the boys, they have found some really mangy animals, rabid raccoons, etc. They have all these animals in large cages. But they forgot food, and the little they had, snacks, chips, cookies, Cartman has been eating for himself. Kyle would say "go feed the wolves." Cartman would go and wave some food in front of the wolves, then eat it himself. He' walk away by saying, good wolf.. or good <insert animal here>. The animals would see him coming and take swipes at him, he would hit them with a twizler, or beef stick, then take a bite of it. he makes jokes like "I don't know how Noah did it", and "that guy Noah must have been a saint." maybe better jokes....
So now the animals are really getting restless, they are starting to fight. The boys realize something has gone terribly wrong. The mob is making it's way to Starks Pond, mad as hell, beating anyone in their path. They boys see parents coming from one side, and see the animals starting to fight from the other. They all throw their hands up in the air and go hide behind the bushes.
The mob gets there, sees their animals, it cuts to each person crying, talking to their pets and saying how much they missed them. As the mob approaches to get their pets, the animals reach the breaking point. They start fighting each other, they break out of cages, and start killing each other. The animals are coming straight for the mob. The mob can't move back any farther, as Starks Pond is right behind them. The animals lunge for the mob (what's left of the animals that weren't killed during the animal fight). And the mob must now club and beat to death their own pets. One guy says "FiFi, I missed you" and the Poodle bites the owner in the balls. His wife has to club FiFi to death. This happens for several of the pet owners.
When all is said and done, it is a blood bath. People are crying, some animals are limping away; it's a mess. The boys come out from behind the bushes and are in shock and awe at what happened. Out of the blue, a car pulls up quickly, breaks, and a PETA rep comes out with a suitcase and a lawyer, and agrees to help Kyle start an ad campaign. In unison, the boys shout f*ck PETA! Then the last surveying wolf jumps out of the bushes and kills the PETA guys.
At the end of the show, you see a PETA ad, but with the wisdom of the boys, as they explain that is a life cycle, a food chain, and basically you don't f*ck with it.
By Bryan Los (furi0usbee)
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