"And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

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"And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby JVM » Sun May 15, 2011 11:53 pm

This is a murder mystery fic, and I'm trying hard to keep it, well, a mystery. I tried to give all twenty-something characters some kind of small role, and picked characters from all eras of South Park. This is a send-up of Agatha Christie's novels as well as the Family Guy episode "And Then There Were Fewer".

All of the characters are twenty-nine years old as of this fic so yes, they are married and have families. Yes, it is unrealistic for all the kids to have married fellow fourth grade students BUT I could not make -everyone- single, and it would have been just as pointless in my opinion to create and develop an entire set of extra original characters just to play the spouses. Try not to let it turn you off.

Note there will be some OOC due to the passed years, the murderer and his manipulations. Most of this I will try to explain. Try not to cringe!


Dearest Friend,

It has been quite a while since I have seen any of you. It is nearly impossible to believe the fourth grade was twenty years ago now... I have seen a few of you since then and rarely on the best of terms. As school and life passed by I allowed myself to be blinded and betrayed the trust of many of you. I've stepped on a lot of people to keep my family on top around here. I have no excuse for such outrageous behavior besides simply that I was young and stupid. I did not understand how much control money has on people's lives when they do not have it. I did not understand what it was like to be poor, or normal. I thought all that mattered was money and that money lead to happiness. Needless to say, I was incorrect.

This letter would be too long if I listed all of my offenses, or my actions, but what lead to my reformation was three years ago when I ran into my ex-girlfriend Heidi Elizabeth Turner. We dated for a brief period at the end of High School, but our relationship died young. Although I was not troubled - alas, I was perfectly fine with the outcome, when we met again I noticed how she had changed. No longer was she the arrogant, selfish girl I had known - no she had fallen into hard times and reformed her ways. She was kind, and sweet. To my surprise as I pursued her, she changed me as well and lead me to become better. And that, friends, is why I would like to attone for my sins toward all of you over the years.

I own a rather luxurious mansion located on a small island off the coast of California, with more than enough rooms to house each of you. I would like to invite each and everyone of you and your families to this mansion for the weekend of March 25-27th, 2011 to attend a banquet dinner in the honor of each of you. It's the least I can do with my wealth to make up to each of you the ways I've nearly ruined and destroyed your lives.

Your's Truly,

Token Richard Black
South Park is a platform for Matt and Trey's social commentary and satire; there is no canon and these characters only serve as tools for self-expression. Don't get attached.
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Re: "And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby JVM » Thu May 19, 2011 7:18 am

Chapter I

"Really? Token wants to atone, huh? 'bout time after what that bastard pulled at our wedding!" Tamara Michelle Warner-McCormick was an attractive woman of roughly thirty years, with sandy brown hair, currently in a red short-sleeved top and jean shorts. Her brown eyes cynically stared toward her husband of seven years as he sat across from her at the kitchen table, a small letter sitting quietly in the middle. She didn't like it. She didn't like him. She barely knew Token and her one experience with him was nothing short of disaster.

"Relax Tam-Tam, I think it would be a fun little getaway. I mean, maybe Token's really changed. He was a great bud as a kid." replied Kenneth James McCormick, better known by the moniker of Kenny, an adult man who wore an orange hoodie in an almost childish fashion, with messy blonde hair and blue eyes that could strike into the heart of truly any woman. He still had the same demeanor as well - he was an optimist, a big believer in the good that lies inside everyone - sometimes still, his wife thought he put too much emphasis on the good inside people.

"I really don't know, Ken, I mean after what he did on our wedding night..." Tammy turned away slightly, crossing her arms, "He almost got us arrested over nothing!" She refused to put her trust in someone she barely knew.

"We were not arrested, dear, as a detective, I know a few things about this protocol. He filed a report." Kenny clarified as if scolding a young child who didn't know what she was talking about.

Tammy turned away, crossing her arms, "Ken, I'm just not sure about this. It doesn't seem like such a good idea. I mean, an isolated mansion in California?" Kenny placed a hand on her back, and her eyes fixated on her husband again.

"Babe, come on..."

"No Ken. I really don't think it's a good idea. It's too... too... I don't know... I mean... what about Jake and Rachel?" she motioned towards the children. They were not in the kitchen, but were visible across the hallway in the play room. Jake was only eight, playing with a green toy dinosaur. He had inherited his father's fashion sense and wore a blue parka. One could hear muffled roars from his mouth - he had a strong sense of imagination. His older sister, Rachel, was nearing her eleventh birthday, wearing a green T-shirt, with long hair like her mother's, but the blonde color of her father. She was reading in the corner, quietly by herself, but keeping a responsible eye on her brother.

"Maybe we just shouldn't bring the kids, honey. We can find someone to watch them." Kenny advised, worried for the sake of their children as well. It didn't seem safe - he felt there was no danger for himself or his wife, but somehow he felt it was better to leave the children.

"Awh Ken, you sure we should go?" Tammy said, eyes more open to the idea of going now. Kenny figured it was her maternal instincts again. Despite the family's low budget, she had been a great mother as far as Kenny cared, not to mention a fine wife.

"Tell you what, babe." he smiled, "Stan called and wanted to meet up with me and some of the guys at Tweek Bros. Coffee. I'll talk to them and see if anyone else is going. There's safety in numbers, sweetie - if a bunch of us go, I'm sure Token won't pull any sh*t." Kenny gave his wife a reassuring smile, and as soon as their eyes met, she could not help but smile back, and suddenly the decision was made.


Gwendolyn 'Wendy' Marie Testaburger-Marsh left South Park City Hall, shrugging as she brought her coat on over her shoulders - the new Administration had been secretive, aides guarding every door. Such intimidation was not intended, but the new Mayor had political enemies and insisted on only the best protection possible. Few were permitted within those guarded walls, and Wendy was one of few. Wendy nodded at both guards as she left the building. She was twenty-nine, with silky black hair well past her shoulders and soft, subtle facial features, her earthly brown eyes now at peace.

She was soon joined by a shorter girl with brown hair, wearing a green shirt with a purple skirt, who looked a bit dusty. "Evening Wendy." she smiled.

"Hello Karen." Wendy greeted with a smile, "How's it being secretary to the Mayor?" The two had become friends over the years, her and the youngest McCormick. She'd helped Karen acquire her job in City Hall - it took quite some leverage, but Karen was now the Mayor's secretary, which was a much more comfortable position than one could guess.

"It's not a bad job at all! Going home, eh?" Karen liked Wendy - she had become somewhat of a big sister to her over time.

"Well I would stop and buy groceries but Stan offered to take care of food tonight, and the kids aren't getting along well lately." Wendy shrugged, "Something about stealing each other's stuff, and Terrance and Phillip... if you ask me the show's had a pretty steep decline in quality."

"Yeah, it's all fart jokes now, no substance." Karen sighed, "I totally feel you, dude." There was a loud ringing suddenly, "Your phone." Karen mumbled under her breath. In record time, Wendy drew her phone,

"Hello?" Wendy answered the phone quickly.

"Hey there, Ms. Marsh! How's helping run the most f*cked up place on Earth going?" came Kenny McCormick's cheerful, gruff voice. Wendy smiled - Kenny always injected a little happiness and optimism into the day, no matter how dreary it had been otherwise.

"Just swell, Kenny. How are you and Tammy?" she said dryly, with an air of professionalism to her voice - it seemed more she was speaking to a colleague than a close friend.

"We got an awful interestin' letter from a Mr. Token Black." Kenny's voice and tone remained firmly casual in nature - this was not a business call, why should he treat it like one?

"You too?" Wendy's tone had completely vanished, replaced with confusion and a hint of fear. She wasn't comfortable with this subject - no, she was worried and scared of Token and the possibility he was back.

"Seems Heidi taught him gentleness and he wants to make nice." Kenny explained quickly, recalling it from his memory.

"Heidi Turner? She was the biggest bitch in the entire High School! That's the biggest load of crap I've heard since last Christmas when Mr. Hankey sang for everyone." Wendy wasn't lying - Heidi had been almost like Cartman in her selfishness.

"Exactly, the story doesn't check out at first... but think about it. We haven't seen Token in a good three years. He did a lot of sh*t, but it's been a while, he really could have changed." Kenny's optimism returned - he, for one, was sure Token had changed. Wendy was not so sure, but memories and sympathy of the African-American boy she'd once been linked with floooded her mind.

"Well, he was a really nice boy back in the fourth grade... you know what, I think me and Stan may be attending after all." Wendy finally said after a moment of thought.

"We'll be there too then. Safety in numbers. I'll speak to you soon, Wendy, but I best get going." Kenny replied.

"Be safe, Detective." replied Wendy as she hung up and returned the phone to her purse, "Sorry Karen. You were saying?"


The lightening crackled fierce that evening.

The South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch was an enormous hotel-like structure built countless decades before the town itself, perched on a mountain and surrounded by dead trees and a long, metal fence. Within the confines of the building, Dr. Terrance A. Mephesto presided over the laboratory table, tearing apart the small animal before him with a scalpel - it seemed cruel but he knew he was helping it. The genetic defects of the small creature prevented it from running fast - the new legs would definitely improve it's quality of life. Such is the life of a genetic engineer.

Terrance had a pair of ghoulish brown eyebrows and piercing, icy eyes, wearing the same purple suit and orange overalls he often did, now his father's hat adorning his head. The genetic prodigy was quite suddenly interrupted by his lab assistant, "Yes, son?" he asked, having successfully detached the back legs from the animal. Alphonse II was very much his father's son - but he had inherited his mother's blonde hair and blue eyes as well as her pleseant facial features. But he held himself quite high and had an undying loyalty to his father - and to science.

"Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski are here for their pot-bellied elephant."

"Ah, yes, my most prized creation..." Terrance smirked as he answered the door, glad to have the Broflovski boy eating out of his hands. He hated Kyle dearly, but he had learned not to be too quick to remind the Jewish man that, and now he triumphantly could say Kyle was the one coming to him for help. "Hello Kyle."

Kyle Broflovski at twenty-nine was a looker. Auburn curls spilled out like a mop over is head, tamed under a fedora. His earthly brown eyes observed every detail of the Mephesto residence, as he wore a dark green suit with an orange tie. Next to him stood his petite wife, Rebecca. Once home-schooled and socially inept, she had learned psychology and sociology in her older years, and now was considered the most intelligent mind in the town. Something a respected scientist such as Terrance took great offense to. But having the smartest two people at his door in town, asking him for his services, was more than a pleasure - and he would not disappoint. The bushy-haired wife then said eloquently, "Hullo Doctor. Your wife called and informed us the pot-bellied elephant was indeed a success."

"Remind me to thank Elizabeth. Yes, it was. They said pig and elephant DNA just won't splice but I don't take no for an answer." Terrance grinned as he lead them to a cage, the small elephant leaving it. It was true - Terrance never took no for an answer when it came to his engineering. Nothing couldn't be solved, or caused by Science. All one needed was knowledge, a little money, and the right tools. Terrance had access to all of these in abundunce.

"It looks like a fine specimen." said Kyle with a smile at his childhood dream come true, inspecting the creature, "Why does it have two asses?"

"Oh, nevermind that, just a clause from my father's will." Terrance answered quickly.

"We'll take him. How's seven dollars sound?" Kyle offered, hoping to give the engineer his money's worth. He couldn't quite say he trusted Terrance Mephesto, but he felt a tie to the man, somehow. The old rivals stood there was Kyle took out his wallet, but Terrance's eyes narrowed.

"Seven dollars and forty nine cents."


Kevin J. Stoley was a man past thirty years, black moppy hair spilled on his head, brown eyes focused on the ham and cheese sandwhich in his hands. The Secience Fiction fan of his youth had become a meek, passive journalist, wearing a light blue jacket with red trim over a green T-shirt as he munched on lunch with his co-worker, the famous blue-eyed blonde bombshell Bebe Stevens, wearing a red suit and skirt with a pink undershirt, "So how's the weather look today, Bebe?" he asked.

"Fair, a little cloudy, Stormy weekend coming up ahead." Bebe said almost automatically. She may have been hired for her looks, but she had gotten genuinely good at her job. She, for one, was enjoying a salad - she had to watch her figure.

"I see." Kevin replied. This was little different than his elementary days, eating lunch with an attractive girl. That breathtaking redhead had since become his wife. Bebe was merely a friend who sometimes was eye candy. Still, the situation was similar regardless.

"How's things your side of the world, Stoley?" she asked, a hint of sarcasm in her reply. Bebe and Kevin had maintained a nice friendship since High School. Bebe had pretended to be Kevin's girlfriend once to keep his mom quiet, in fact - the plan failed pretty miserably, with Kevin's mother dissecting Bebe like a frog until she revealed the truth.

"Oh, you know, same old." Kevin mumbled as he downed another bite of bread and ham. He couldn't taste cheese that time. "Red's waiting to strike another deal after the last disaster, and Alan's taking after me in all the wrong ways."

"Get a letter... from, uh, Token?" A pause. Just the saying of the name was enough to cause both to look with caution. Their eyes looked in the opposite direction of themselves before returning to each other. Their shared anxiety softened slightly.

"I admit I have." Kevin said quietly, not enthusiastic at memories of Token's actions toward them. Token had quickly become cold and emotionless toward everyone in his early twenties, and his wealth and influence put him in the perfect place to be a tyrant over his old schoolmates.

"Inviting your family to the mansion?" Bebe said quizzically, "Cali? Whole weekend?" Bebe didn't like the idea of this at all - she wanted to stay home, eat ice cream and watch General Hospital - but alas, this wasn't in the cards for her.

"Yeah, I'm not sure about taking them. You and Clyde going?" Kevin asked. He had already made up his mind on going himself, but he wasn't sure whether he was so ready to bring his family into it.

"I think so... Clyde's very eager to go and catch up with his old friend again. I'm not so sure but you can't really say 'no' to Clyde." she chuckled, but there was a hint of insecurity in her voice - she didn't approve of her husband's judgement.

"I hear the Broflovskis and McCormicks are going." Kevin reported, "Not sure about anyone else."

"Well, I hope to see you there if you go." Bebe flashed her Emmy-winning smile as she took the last bite of her sandwhich and got up.


Tweek Bros. Coffee could appropriately be called a most wretched hive of scum and villainy. The classy males of South Park, those who avoided Skeeter's Bar, made their appearnaces here. The place was in all means lucky to stand - Harbucks reached a deal to let the Tweek family own the shop as a unit of Harbucks under the family name - since then, a young boy made his way through Harbucks corporate and became CEO and thanks to Tweek Tweak, now every Harbucks in the United States was under the banner of Tweek Bros. Coffee. The blonde had (mostly) overcome his powerful caffiene addiction, and now wore a gray, buttoned perfectly business suit with a black tie, his once messy blonde hair combed neatly. His favorite subordinate was the messy, sandy-haired Kevin McCormick, who managed the 'bar' of the store since Tweek's mother had retired the duty at her fiftieth birthday. A familiar group sat at the head of the bar.

Stan Marsh had become a handsome man with a strong chin, dark blue eyes, and raven hair spilled in a way that would remind one of his father, yet slightly more sophisticated. Over his brown-and-red jacket was a stereotypical lab coat - he'd just gotten back from his work as a veternarian, although many knew it wasn't the only job Stan had held over the years. "So Stan, how was work?" asked Kyle, his "super" best friend of over two and a half decades - or perhaps over his whole life is a more accurate description.

"'sup bro?" nodded Kenny to his old buddies, "Before I forget, will Eric be joining us this fine evening?" Kenny honestly wasn't in the mood to run into their old friend but he felt obliged to check in advance if the whole gang would be reuniting. Three out of five had shown up so far.

"It was pretty good. Had to bring another gay frog to the shelter though. The poor thing, someone just left it outside." Stan said, before chuckling, "Eventually." Stan was always an animal lover, and that trait had only strengthened over the years - becoming a veternarian was a dream of Stan so he could help animals in new ways. Helping out at the shelter wasn't enough for him.

"Hey guys." Tweek approached from another area, sitting near the guys. He owned the entire company, but right now he was content to sit with his friends at a local shop. Although he'd been cast from their group long ago, the kids reconciled their friendship with Tweek years later.

"Hey Tweek. So what's this meeting about, Kenny?" Kyle asked as Kevin handed them their coffee. It was earl gray, hot, a surprisingly popular flavor in the store. "Thanks Kevin." The barkeep nodded toward them before turning to other customers.

"On the house." Tweek said with a smile. His friends were provided free coffee when they were with him - Harbucks was a successful business enterprise, it wasn't much lost fare for in essence, three people. Butters was gone, and he refused to pay for Cartman. Tweek actually paid his own way off his salary.

"Token's letter." No elaboration was needed - all understood the subject and just how serious it was. The smiles faded and they were reluctant to discuss the issue, though all knew they needed to discuss it.

"Me and Wendy will be going." Stan said simply, "With Amanda and Shane. Her decision, not mine." he added - it was hard to tell whether he trusted his wife on this matter or not. Kenny felt a small pang of guilt, knowing he'd been partially responsible for this, but pushed away his feelings on the matter, nodding to them.

"Us too. Not sure if it's really a good idea for Jake and Rachel, but I have nobody to watch them if you guys go." He explained before taking a sip from his coffee. "But I told Tammy we'd try to find somebody, so hopefully we can get that taken care of."

"I'm not sure you guys." Kyle said, "Token's pulled a lot of sh*t over the years. There's not much of a reason to believe his honesty." he was stern, like a parent to children, "Then again, he's been quiet for three years now, I suppose it makes some sense." the Jewish man seemed to be arguing with himself.

"Ngh. It's a tough call." There was caffiene in Tweek's system - he was back to his old twitchy self fast, "A very tough call. Ack!"

"'sup asswipes?" the kids were joined by two - my bad, one large man their age. He had neatly combed brown hair, wild eyes one could not look into, and wore a military camouflage coat over a red shirt and brown khakis. He had a mustache, and his clothes were stained and disgusting.

"Well if it ain't Eric Theodore Cartman. Where's the wife and kids?" asked Kenny, raising an eyebrow at his friend. They hated Cartman but Kenny couldn't help but pity him - nobody really liked Cartman. Probably because he was a total assh*le but still - he had no real friends. It was the only reason they let him hang out with them.

"Stupid author didn't give me any." he grumbled, "What do you assh*les want?" Cartman sat between Kenny and Kyle - his usual spot in the group. The kids exchanged glances of worry, and Tweek chose to broke the silence,

"Nngh... did you get a letter from Token?"

"Him? That black assh*le is still around?" Cartman laughed, the tubby rolls of fat over his body jiggling with each chortle in a way that made Kyle want to puke his brains out. Kenny, Stan, Kyle and Tweek exchanged looks of disgust at Cartman.

"Shut up fatass!" It was almost reflexive from Kyle to yell this - years of yelling at Cartman had made it become instinctive, with no thought involved in the process.

"Don't call me fat, you stupid Jew!" And years of calling Kyle a stupid Jew had imbued in Cartman an automatic, thoughtless ability to retort.

"Guys come on, this isn't solving anything." Stan went in between his two friends.

"Just like old times." Kenny nodded his head, letting the feeling of intense nostalgia for years long lost wash over him. It was like being nine and growing up again - except everyone was taller and only Kyle still wore his hat. "Sends me back. Reminds me-"

An unexpected visitor entered - he wore a collared light blue shirt buttoned up perfectly, had a wide ear-to-ear-grin, had a single puff of blonde hair, and stubble over his mouth. The thirty-year-old Butters Stotch still had a similar cheery voice, "Hey fellas!"

"Butters?" Kenny said in disbelief, shocked to see, "They let you out of prison?"

"That's me!" he said cheerfully, "Awh, shucks, yeah... the Warden said i-it's only a ten year sentence for, uh, armed robbery..." Butters said nervously, scratching the back of his head, "B-but I got let out on account of, uh, a good behavior. D-did you guys get a le-"

"From Token? Yep." Kyle nodded as Butters took a seat as well, joining them on the end by Kenny. It was hard to believe he'd gone completely back to normal after being last seen a hardened criminal.

"I can't wait to see you fellas there, it'll be real swell!" Butters smiled.

"I think everyone's going, even the Mephesto family." Kyle said with a shrug, "Terrance seemed optimistic about it, and Clyde told me he and Bebe are going and he knew Kevin was going. Tweek said Craig was going. Not to mention everyone's bringing their wives. I'm not sure about Timmy, Jimmy or Bradley... Well, we all seem to be going so... yeah, practically everyone."

"Who wouldn't? Token's mansion was huge, brah." Cartman smiled, arms crossed confidently. He wished he lived in such a luxurious mansion but nope, he was stuck as a poor f*cking mechanic. Stupid assh*le from TimeCorp as a kid lied to him. He was never a success.

"Oh boy!" Butters smiled, excited to be reconciling with all old friends, hugging the other five men, "I sure can't wait, fellers!"

"I'm still not so sure about this, guys." Stan said nervously, looking to his friends for support. Kenny put a consoling hand on his shoulder,

"Come on, dude, I mean think about it, what's the worst that can happen? Remember, between your wife, me and Bradley, there's enough law enforcement there to overpower Token or anything he thinks he can come up with."

"I guess you're right..." Stan said, "Well, I better get home. I promised Shane I'd take him to GameStop to pick up the new Homefront game. See you guys this weekend." Stan shrugged, finishing his coffee and getting up.
South Park is a platform for Matt and Trey's social commentary and satire; there is no canon and these characters only serve as tools for self-expression. Don't get attached.
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Re: "And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby JVM » Mon May 23, 2011 8:31 am

Chapter II

Friday, March 25th, 2011,

The Black Manor stood royally, perched atop a large hill overseeing majestic cliffs, white-waters crashing up against them. The Manor was a solid, dark purple with countless windows, doors wide. The middle part of the house was enormous enough but two adjoining parts, big enough to be houses themselves, extended it, with two garage-sized extensions on both ends. Anyone who claimed not to be impressed, no matter how wealthy, was lying. Outside stood a man and woman of twenty-nine years.

The man looked considerably older, with square shoulders, dressed in a business suit with a red tie, his brown eyes looking toward the road. His black hair was stiff and did not sway in the wind, and his fingers were intertwined behind his back. He was the most legendary millionaire in the history of the town - he had crashed weddings, bought homes, and was responsible for many a regrettable action. He was Token Black.

Next to him stood Ms. Heidi Turner, a fairly attractive young woman with stunning brown hair to her shoulders, wavy bangs, starry green eyes and a confident smirk. She had worn a red shirt over a green tank top, and pants - no girl in this town would be caught dead in a skirt. "There they are, dear." her eyes met Token's momentarily, then both eyes fled back. Several cars were crossing the bridge and pulling up, the men and women of the town of South Park pouring out, excited children scattering the lawn. A black-haired Asiatic woman with kind gray eyes and harsh features exited her Sedan, wearing a light blue blouse with a pink skirt.

"What a very nice mansion - isn't that, right Henry?" Her son stood down, with brown-hair much like his father's, and grandmother's. He smiled up at her with a naive face - he was a shy, sensitive boy around the tender age of seven.

"Very nice, mom!" he replied in his nasaly voice. His mother closed the Sedan doors as Henry's father got out of the car.

"Shablagoo!" exclaimed Bradley Biggle, better known under the name of Mint-Berry Crunch. Bradley had grown up - he no longer donned the familiar costume, and he had grown handsome features like most traditional heroes. Many a woman was displeased to see the hero marry. "Wow Essie, this place looks great, Token really cleaned the place up."

"Heheh, this place looks gay." said the straggly-haired Fosse, getting out of his car with his brother Bill Mephesto, who still had a full head of dark brown hair. Fosse wore a pink collared shirt with gray overalls and several pockets, while Bill had a sweater and military jeans. The two confidently smirked at the place ahead of them.

Kyle Broflovski rolled his eyes at the two boys as he and his wife stepped out of their Prius, "This is the place!" he said proudly, focusing his attention on things far more worthy of it. His wife clapsed his hand, though her eyes remained firm on the ground. She took a long look around the area, photographically memorizing every inch of the mansion's grounds as Kyle locked the car down.

"Indeed." she said quickly, hoping her husband was not noticing her nervousness. She was paranoid, it was true, but she had to withhold some information from her husband for the time, as painful as it was to do so.

"Kyle?" Stan's Challenger had driven up right next to the Broflovski car. He and his wife had already stepped out, two children at their feet - Shane, a six-year-old brunette boy dressed in a pink shirt under a Denver Broncos jacket and jeans, and eight-year-old Amanda, in a black T-shirt with a slightly annoyed look. Shane was a bright child with a love of history and video games, and Amanda was an intelligent writer who constantly kept herself busy, "Wow nice place indeed, almost as big as his actual mansion!"

"I know!" Wendy smiled at her husband. So far with all of the people arriving, it looked like she had been correct - this gathering would be a success and a time to catch up with old friends and enemies and talk of their success. Wendy's triumphant smirk was interrupted as the Marshes and Broflovskis were approached by another family.

"Hey fellas!" greeted Butters, arm around the waist of his longtime secret girlfriend Millie, a newscaster for Channel Seven - her strawberry blonde hair had grown long and she was heavily made up, wearing a suit. Despite the professional look, she seemed here on casual terms. At her feet was a glaring toddler with dark hair, "It's real swell to see ya."

"Patrick, meet Uncle Stan and Uncle Kyle." Millie said to the little boy. Patrick said nothing - it was hard to tell whether the toddler was incapable of talking or just didn't want to. After a moment, Millie let it go. "It's been far too long, Wendy." she smiled, embracing her old friend.

"I know! How's Channel Seven been?" Wendy asked - there had been a long time when she had contemplated going into journalism - she was still curious on the occupation, even if she had chosen to pursue something else. Millie laughed, putting up a hand,

"Oh, it's nothing. I just read off the paper, you know that. How are things with Stan?" Millie asked, curious how South Park's golden couple was getting along. She had been a skeptic of the two back in the school days.

Wendy couldn't help but smile, "Oh, everything's great, he's signed up to start coaching the school football team in addition to his work at the vet already. I'm proud of him." A few feet away, Stan, Kyle and Butters conversed.

"Dude, I can't believe last night's Terrance and Phillip." Stan said simply, smiling in triumph, clearly discussing a matter of great importance to him, "I never expected them to reveal how Ugly Bob got so ugly..."

"Eh, if you ask me the show's just begging to be cancelled. They'll never match the cutting edge satire they were capable of six years ago. It's a shell of it's former self." Kyle crossed his arms when the Valmer family approached from their car. Jimmy had been able to gain limited use of his legs and now used a walker instead of crutches - he had grown more handsome over the years, almost constantly wearing a business suit for comedy. His wife Nancy stood at his side - she had tamed herself, wearing all-black, batting her blue eyes with a subtle smile. With them was an adult male who looked suspiciously like Lee Harvey Oswald, complete with a generic, uncaring pokerface and a chullo. "Hey Jimmy!"

"Hi K-K-K-Kyle." Jimmy smiled, "How have you guys been?" Jimmy was happy to be with his old friends again it seemed. His eyes darted and refocused. Jimmy had barely changed.

"Good, good." Stan smiled, "Who's your friend?" he asked Jimmy, referring to the Lee Harvey Oswald-looking man in the chullo who's middle finger was currently extended in Stan's direction like it wasn't even a concious thought on this part.

"You don't recognize Craig?" Nancy let out a laugh. Craig flipped Nancy off. Jimmy glared a bit but tried to ignore it looking back in Stan's direction as Nancy rolled her eyes, "He's a male model now. He's also an office worker. He has real boring nights and he spends the day prancing around."

"Mom, dad? Can I go look for some of my friends?" asked Amanda Marsh, not willing to be stuck with her family right now, much less her other aunts and uncles. She just wanted to find somewhere to curl up with her notebook and write some Terrance and Phillip fanfiction.

"Sure Mandy, go see your little friends." Stan smiled at his daughter as he returned to the conversation with the Stotches, Valmers and Broflovskis. Amanda nodded and went through the brush near the edge of the area as she noticed the Donovan, McCormick and Stoley cars pull up to the house. As soon as the McCormick car doors opened, Uncle Kenny noticed her immediately, "Howdy there little lady! Lookin' for Jake n' Rache are we? They're playing over with Alan." Kenny nodded in their direction, "How are you?" Kenny was probably Amanda's favorite uncle - to-the-point, not one to sugarcoat the truth. Aunt Tammy was engaged with Clyde and Bebe Donovan in a conversation on shoes. Clyde was a stocky man in a blue coat with brown hair that was combed but still untamed. Bebe's frizzy, curly blonde hair rested on her shoulders - she was dressed casually in a red V-neck and black pants.

"I'm fine. Thanks Uncle Kenny!" Amanda breezed past the adults, approaching Alan, Rachel and Jake. Rachel smiled and waved in greeting, as did her younger brother. Alan had inherited his mother's fiery red hair, wearing a light blue jacket familiar as his father's. Rachel, Alan, and Amanda were pretty much one group of best friends, with Shane and Jake also best friends.

"Amanda, how's it going?" asked Rachel asked her best friend with a smile. Amanda was glad to see Rachel about - she wouldn't be stuck with her stupid family all weekend, at least she had a friend to keep her company, and sane for that matter.

"Can you believe we get to stay in a huge mansion for a whole weekend?" Alan said, enthusiastic at the prospects of living in a mansion. Although his family was said to be well-off, they still lived in a fairly 'normal' house. Off to the side sat the Stoley parents themselves - Kevin, and his wife Rebecca, who continued to prefer her mysterious childhood moniker of Red. She was a breathtaking woman with silky red hair and retaining a fair figure. It was of no wonder her acting aspirations were so so successful. "What do you think all of this, Becks?" asked Kevin quietly.

"Not sure, yet, love, a bit suspicious." she said quietly - she definitely had her suspicions when it came to this whole thing, though she tried to keep them to herself. She didn't wish to worry anyone ovber nothing.

"Yeah, me too... let's not let it ruin our weekend." he looked into her eyes as Red looked toward the ground, "Hey, hey... come on, babe." he put his fingers on her chin, raising her face to stare into his, "I know what Token did to us was cheap but... don't let it ruin the weekend, love." he smiled at her and suddenly all of their troubles were gone.

"Timmeh!" Red and Kevin turned - that voice was unmistakably the international rock superstar and lead singer of the band Lords of the Underworld, Timmy, along with his wife, Annie, wearing a brown jacket, eyes focused on her husband, her blonde hair still short and curly. Besides the mullet and age, Timmy was essentially the same, "Dah liv' a law, livin' a law, Timmay!"

"This is the place..." Annie said, "Hey, there's Jimmy, let's go say hi." Timmy pressed the automatic joystick forward as his wheehchair moved toward the Valmers, Broflovskis, Stotches and Marshes. Red and Kevin rolled their eyes and turned back to what they were up to, watching the children at play.

"Here we are." Terrance Mephesto stretched his arms out as his family exited the jeep, two sons at his feet. Alphonse work a black jacket, while Gabe, a small boy with brown hair and eyes wearing a purple jacket sat. Alongside them was Terrance's wife, Ms. Elizabeth "Lizzy" Mephesto, a very attractive woman with sharp features and quick blue eyes, long blonde hair resting down her back and on her shoulders. She had chosen a pink coat that hid herself - despite her hated profession as a model, she would always be a tomboy.

"Terrance, Lizzy, good to see you." smiled Red - the Stoley and Mephesto families were rather tightly-knit together, "How are things?"

"Good, good." Lizzy smiled, "How have you been Red? It's been weeks. Ugh, I had to go to Paris for some stupid tour thing. I hate modeling." Lizzy sighed before looking down at her children, "Alphonse, Gabe, why don't you go play with the other kids while we talk to Aunt Red and Uncle Kevin." she smiled sweetly before straightening herself. The kids left, Alphonse reluctantly.

"Hey Terrance, heheh, ain't this play gay?" Fosse said, he and his brother approaching their cousin and leader. Kevin rolled his eyes - Terrance was the highest of the trio, he was the brains, and Bill and Fosse were two minions who followed his every move.

"Shut up." Terrance said simply, and Fosse obeyed, Bill following suit. As the Stoleys and Mephestos conversed, Tweek Tweak, having just arrived, sat on the hood of his car, twitching loudly as he sipped some coffee. Tweek had a hard time controlling himself as he drank, eyes darting about. The intelligent corporate CEO was, for now, back to his childish nervous wreck of a self.

"Augh, Jesus, please!" Tweek twitched, barely holding on to his full mug as he took a quick sip hoping to calm himself. Needless to say, coffee is a stimulant and it did not help his condition in the slightest.

"You need to lay off the coffee." Sally Turner, better known by the moniker of Powder said. Her flowing red hair was held back by the same single hairclip. For years and to this day she wore nothing but black to mourn her lost love, but despite her expressions of gothic darkness, her voice was cheery and happy, "Greetings."

"Powder!" Tweek twitched, "Long time, no see!" Tweek smiled, glad to see another old friend show. His others were busy and he had felt a bit lonely sitting on his car. Powder shook her hair a bit, a slight smile forming on her lips. He twitched again, and Powder supposed some things never changed.

"How's the shop?" Powder asked curiously - she was somewhat of a regular at Tweek Bros. Coffee, coming in usually once a week for a cup of coffee, usually keeping to herself but occasionally speaking with Tweek himself if he was there.

"Oh, it's-" A massive pickup truck almost hit Tweek as it landed, having hit a rock just moments ago. The truck landed on it's tires - barely - and the doors flew open, ejecting both occupants out and on to the grass.

"Yes!" Jason McHugh cheered. He still had the same thick dark brown hair and receded hairline and sideburns, a purple jacket open to a green Monster Tuck shirt, "That was awesome!" The other occupant was on a fetal position with messy gray hair, a tight brown jacket restricting him. He shook slightly,

"Augh!" Dogpoo cried in fear. "Jesus!"

As everyone spoke, a booming voice interrupted all, "Welcome to my house, everyone. Come inside, my maid will take care of everything shortly. I hope you all brought your formal wear with..." although Token Black was trying to turn over a new leaf, there was an underlying... displeasure in his voice with his guests. The guests nonetheless entered the mansion, eyes wide at the vastness of the main hallway and the fountain. A girl their age in a stereotypical maid's outfit appeared, with light brunette hair, green eyes and pale skin,

"Evening, welcome to the Manor Black, my name is Lola, I will be your hostess tonight. Here, let me take your coats and your cell phones. You can't get reception, but we can charge them for you." she noticed the amount of people's eyes widening, "Sir, this is a LOT more than a few friends." she raised an eyebrow toward him.

"Sorry Lo - I have many sins to attone for." Token replied somewhat gravelly. He felt slightly guilty overworking Lola like this, but it had to be done. Lola began removing coats and collecting phones worldlessly. This process repeated as Lola put each phone into the coat - within sight - and placed the coats in the closet. The task was made less awkward and daunting as Token resumed speaking,

"Dinner will begin at apprxomimiately six-thirty each evening. You have one hour to unpack and get acquainted with your rooms... and if need be, each other." Token smiled - not devilishly, but confidently and kindly, "Your rooms are arranged alphabetically, right up on the second floor. I will go check on the meals. Thank you." Token bowed out and left the hall, Heidi following without a word.

"Heheh, he's gay!" Fosse Mephesto laughed loudly to his brother, obnoxious and with sureness. Bill went along with his brother's joke, because he looked to his brother for guidance even when it was pretty obviously a bad idea.

"Heheh, totally gay!" Bill chuckled, completely blindly agreeing with whatever his brother felt was homosexual.

"Shut up you guys." Tammy McCormick rolled her eyes, then glared with annoyance at the two boys' behavior - she hated interolance. It was one of many things she couldn't stand. And she was the kind of person who didn't just let that kind of crap go on righti n front of her. "Have some respect. Gay people are just like you and me."

"...you're gay, too." Fosse's most brilliant comeback to date.

"I beg to differ-" Kenny began, putting an arm around his beloved wife. Tammy crossed her arms in anger. Kenny hated seeing his wife angry like this, he had to defend her, he just had to. But his job shutting them up was quickly usurped.

"Bill, Fosse, cut it out." Terrance ordered and the two boys obeyed quickly. Only the Mephesto family seemed to have control of Fosse, and Bill only listened to his brother. Fosse silent and Bill silent, the jobs were done. The group had already began dissolving for their rooms now. Clyde and Bebe made a beeline down the hall to find their's, Clyde struggling with an impossibly large suitcase. Bebe fumbled the key, blowing strands of curly blonde hair out from her face as she got it in.

"Having trouble?" Kyle Broflovski poked his head from his room, an eyebrow raised. The kindly Jewish boy had genuine concern.

"Oh, thank you Kyle." Bebe leaned forward with her dazzling smile and glassy blue eyes. As always, her former crush was unphased, but her husband was angry - but Bebe was oblivious to her own flirtation. Leaning forward and buttering people up was part of the job for her - it was an instinct. Kyle swiftly took the key and unlocked the room, then left wordlessly, besides a mumbled


The rooms were like stylized hotel suites - there were bedrooms for the adults, and a separate for kids, two beds each. There were two bathrooms, and a large entertainment room with a flat-screen television and video game systems. However, within seconds Clyde was at the fridge, "Token may be an assh*le, but he has good taste." he said with glee, his wife facepalming, "Can't believe he thinks he can just apologize. He tried to get me fired for God's sake, I could kill him."

"Don't say things like that, Clyde." Bebe replied, "People might think you're serious."

"Yeah, whatev- S'more-flavored Shnapps, all right!"

To Be Continued...
South Park is a platform for Matt and Trey's social commentary and satire; there is no canon and these characters only serve as tools for self-expression. Don't get attached.
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Re: "And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby BigGuy101 » Thu Aug 11, 2011 6:48 pm

I read this on FanFiction.net. Great story. By the way, I have a profile there too. It's also BigGuy101.
My favorite SP characters: Cartman and Butters.

My favorite food: anything pasta related.
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Re: "And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby LilianneKilledKenny » Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:34 pm

Hey, this is pretty good! When will the rest be posted?

PS yeah, this is totaly just like the Family Guy episode! But it was my favorite FG episode, so it's okay. My guess: It's Millie! Or Wendy. But I bet Kenny's gonna be the first to go, right? :zombiekenny:
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Re: "And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby JVM » Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:09 am

^ Thank you!

I've been trying to update this but kept having problems with posting. If this goes through I might try to finish it over here sometime.
South Park is a platform for Matt and Trey's social commentary and satire; there is no canon and these characters only serve as tools for self-expression. Don't get attached.
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Re: "And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby BigGuy101 » Sat Aug 13, 2011 1:24 am

JVM wrote:I've been trying to update this but kept having problems with posting. If this goes through I might try to finish it over here sometime.

Maybe I can be of some assistance. It’s the least I can do.
My favorite SP characters: Cartman and Butters.

My favorite food: anything pasta related.
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Re: "And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby JVM » Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:42 am

Let's see if splitting up Chp. 3 helps get through the gateway timeout.

Chapter III, Part A

The dining hall had enough seats for all, even Lola. The men and women had changed into suits and dresses for the glamarous evening. The men had cared little - Stan's tie was uneven, Kenny's hair uncombed, Clyde's pants stained with God knows what. The girls had tried hard - Lizzy hid herself behind a tux, while Bebe's cleavage crossed the lines of parental supervision and Wendy wore a suit her mother had made for her. But as the residents sat around the table, it suddenly no longer mattered who worn what - everyone seemed almost unremarkable by the sheer volume of people present.

"So Dogpoo, what have you been up to since High School?" Bradley asked, allowing his chin to rest atop his knuckles. Bradley was curious where he had ended up - Dogpoo had always been a quiet kid, kind of a drifter, rarely one to speak or do much of anything.

"I'm homeless now." he responded simply. There was a scraping sound as a few chairs seemed to move a bit farther away from him. Dogpoo yawned loudly, supporting his head with his arms.

"That's terrible." Esther said, putting a consoling hand on his shoulder, "Me and Brad will find you a nice good place, you'll see." she promised with a smile. She pitied him and couldn't help but wish to help out.

"No thanks, all I really want is some change..." Dogpoo smiled. Esther and Bradley exchanged worried glances as he said this.

"Nonsense!" Bradley said, "Mint-Berry Crunch will always help someone in need!" Bradley raised an arm, almost assuming his legendary superhero identity in hopes of helping out - but there was little Mint-Berry Crunch could do to help.

"Just some change please... change?" begged Dogpoo. Henry Biggle, out of pity, took out a quarter, hoping to help out this mysterious beggar who was suddenly sitting near his family. His mother quickly slipped it out of his hand without a word.

"Timmah tiammy livin' a lie timmah timmeh jimmy gobbles tim-" Timmy was explaining to Jimmy a rather brilliant, detailed story, showing off his mastery of the English language.

"Wow, what a terrific s-s-s-sto-s-s-sto-s-s- tale, Tim-Tim." Jimmy smiled, looking at his best friend of twenty years now. Jimmy was glad to be reconciling with Timmy - he'd been off rocking on tour in Europe and Jimmy had been hosting his show in L. A.

"You never told me you and Jimmy won medals at the Special Olympics." Annie mumbled, arms crossed. She wasn't very happy with her husband - being the wife of a rock star was far from an easy task, and Annie wasn't exactly prepared for it. That, and having a husband who's penis doesn't work isn't super easy either.

"Timmah A-annie!" Timmy scowled at his wife. Although he was rather ignorant and selfish at times, Timmy was annoyed with Annie's self-righteous attitude when it came to their marriage.

"I am not dressed like a Greek prostitute!" Annie glared back. Hey, she just wanted to look pretty - and you couldn't blame her, being stuck in a sexless marriage.

"Will you two shut up! You're lucky you're both alive!" Powder sneered in anger, both Timmy and Annie suddenly becoming very quiet. Powder was usually a more passive girl - the type who would rather walk around angstfully instead of cry. And she had screeched about.

"Are you okay?" Craig asked simply. This was Craig - his voice never gave away his emotions. One had to wonder whether it was concern or curiosity governing his thoughts.

"Perfectly fine." Powder said, and one could detect in her voice - no screech. All was well again with her. What had been annoying her was no more.

"So am I the only one who noticed Token's missing?" Tweek asked, "Christ! It's been like a five minutes! Dinner should be starting!" Tweek had become a corporate CEO, but again here he was, twitchy and paranoid, just like old times. One hated to admit how amusing this was.

"Tweek, dude, relax, he's probably coming out with the food." Stan said dismissively. It was no big deal - it made perfect sense to him. Token was coming out with his food.

"Don't think he'd mind if I took his seat then, heheh." Fosse got up and comfortably rested in the seat at the head of the table. He adjusted himself in the chair and smiling - he was feeling damn comfy in that chair all right.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Jason warned with concern, his eyes slightly narrow. Jason didn't want Token pissed - everyone knew what he was capable of. Butters nodded,

"Yeah, Token might get awful sore."

Fosse glared at both of the others, "You're all gay-"

South Park is a platform for Matt and Trey's social commentary and satire; there is no canon and these characters only serve as tools for self-expression. Don't get attached.
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Re: "And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby JVM » Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:46 am

Finally got through, but looks like everything has to be in small portions to avoid gameway timeout.

Chapter III, Part B

It happened in a second, but there was no mistaking the sound. A small blood stain appeared on the chest of Fosse K. Mephesto as his black eyebrows raised a bit, his brown eyes widened, and he suddenly slumped forward on the table. There were screams and gasps as Kenny quickly got up and began feeling for a pulse. And then, quite suddenly, Eric Cartman broke into a fit of laughter.

"Oh my God, they killed Fosse you guys!" Cartman said as he laughed, pointing at the corpse. This was the funniest f*cking sh*t he'd seen in his life. Well, besides the Thompson family but that's a different story.

"You bastard!" Bill slammed his fists on the table as he got up, glaring at Cartman, "That was my brother you asswipe homosexual!"

"Shut up Bill, I don't wear a damn Harley." Cartman looked as if he'd just been dealt a really low blow from the book of insults. Bill opened his mouth to retort-

"You guys, this is serious, Fosse is dead." Kyle said as Kenny nodded to confirm the status. As a detective, Kenny was being as responsible as he could and examining the corpse. His wife had stayed back to shield their children's eyes.

"So... who g-g-got him?" Jimmy asked, a look of horror on his face as he clung to his wife. She looked rather calm and shrugged as she held her husband back, but she didn't need the support in truth.

"Who got him? Obviously it was Cartman, he's the one laughing his ass off." Craig said apathetically, not caring much. Fosse was dead, big whoop. Plenty of people in town showed up and were never seen again. It was no spectacular feat.

"Ffft, no way, unlike certain other people, I know how to kill in-style! Obviously it was Kyle because he's a Jew." Cartman pointed straight at Kyle - his suspicions were not well-recieved. Being Jewish, to most people, is not considered a sign of evil, nor a fair motivation for murder.

"Shut up Cartman, you've gone too far this time!" Kyle said angrily - Cartman had pulled a lot of sh*t over the years, but direct murder was not really his modus operandi. Giving the order was not irregular though, he had to admit...

"Yeah, at least Scott Tenorman's parents weren't recurring characters." Stan glared, rising as he added to his super best friend's statement. There was truth - Fosse and Bill, despite their disappearances, did play a few small roles in their lives. Scott Tenorman's parents barely existed as more than, sadly, the chili they became.

Kenny, opposite everyone else in the room, had swiftly moved from Fosse's body to the bookcase, "Hold on dudes." he said, pulling two books apart, "Right here is the murder weapon - a simple pistol, but timed - the trigger was pulled automatically. Fosse wasn't our target after all." He may not quite be Sherlock Holmes, but Kenny McCormick was actually a fairly good detective.

"What do you mean, Ken?" asked Tammy, holding her children close. Rachel and Jake looked unphased, as if death was something they had seen before and did not find interesting or surprising anymore.

"Yeah, be careful, you're making Bradley wet his pants again." Clyde warned with fear - true to his claim, Bradley stood there with his legs buckled, a stain appearing over his jeans as pee trickled down his legs. His eyes were unfocused, his hands clasped together. His wife glared at the pathetic waste of humanity next to her.

"No, no, Bradley Biggle never pees his pants!" Bradley feebly tried to cover his pants and hide the fact he had just peed himself. Saving face, however, was not easy in some situations.

Esther sighed, "I'll escort my HUSBAND to a toliet. Keep an eye on Henry, Kevin." she and her husband got up and left. The marital problems between the couple were no secret - one could definitely hear the mumbling of Esther, and the excuses of Bradley. Henry shrugged, not really aware of his parent's marital problems

"Clyde, Jason, both of you keep an eye on fatass- lock him in his bedroom or something. Don't let him out of the room." Kenny ordered, the two men obeying immediately. Clyde quickly wrapped an arm around Cartman's elbow, the obese man yanking, but Clyde stood his ground. Jason did the same, unwilling to let Cartman go free.

"Awh, dammit!" Cartman cussed angrily - this was greatly interfering with his plans for the evening. No sneaking into Kyle's room, no raiding Token's fridge. No, Clyde and Jason were holding him in the gayest of gay ways. motherf*cker.

"And put on Family Guy and don't give him the remote." Kyle's eyes narrowed - even if Cartman wasn't guilty of murder, he goddamn deserved it. He would totally strap Cartman to a chair and play all of his Family Guy DVDs. Over one-hundred and fifty episodes worth to destroy his mind. Ah, revenge is sweet.

"No, Kyle, come on, buddy! Anything but this!" Cartman begged, eyes wide with fear and regret. No, nothing, nothing but Family Guy. He'd sooner kill himself than watch that show.

"See fellers, the way I reckon, the killer's gotta be-" Butters raised a hand, pointing up as he began to explain his long, carefully thought-out solution, but he was swiftly interrupted.

"What killer?" Token stood, present in full tuxedo with bowtie and gloves, and for overkill, an imposing top hat. He was quite puzzled by the discussion he'd just accidentally entered. Heidi was at his side in a sparkling emerald dress. She had a bit of a bored expression - she wasn't having much fun here. But she stayed loyally at his side.

"Fosse's been sh-sh-sh-shaa... sh-sh-sh-sh-shaaa... sh-sh-sh- there's a bullet in his head." Jimmy explained, struggling to fully get out the words in an almost Porky Pig-esque manner. He, for one, was shocked to see Token's sudden presence.

"Timmeh!" Timmy interjected, again displaying his incredible mastery of the English language.

"What?" Token's demeanor changed as he rushed to the seat, astonished at the corpse of Fosse, which had stiffened by now. He was afraid to touch the corpse, but nonetheless examined it - "He was in my seat... which means-"

"Awful convenient you just happened to walk in late, huh Token?" challenged Stan, arms crossed, eyes narrow. His black hair was a bit messier as he approached Token confrontationally - there was no question of Stan's beliefs or accusation - he was implicating Token. Token gave a sympathetic look, sighing,

Token began on a sincere note, looking Stan right in those dark blue eyes, "Stan, if this is about the whole thing with Coach-"

"Stan's right, you just happen to walk in right after Fosse dies." Annie crossed her arms over her chest, glaring and interrupting Token. She was an arrogant girl, but with an upbringing like her's, one could not blame her - male-dominated and teachings of empowerment.

"He's up with Pip now..." Powder said solemnly, thinking of her deceased friend. She had seldom admitted until his death her closeness with the boy but now that he was gone, all she could think of was him and the fact he was gone.

"I didn't do a damn thing!" Token denied when suddenly there was a pitch darkness, and a muffled scream. The lights kicked back on as suddenly as they'd gone out, and all gasped as Token Black's lifeless body lay, a knife plunged in his back, a napkin over his face and a pool of blood forming beneath him.
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Re: "And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby JVM » Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:50 am

Breaking my balls, Gateway Timeout

Chapter III, Part C

"Oh my God, they-they killed Token!" Lola bent over and wrapped her arms around the corpse, tears coming out. Heidi, on the other hand, just looked in shock, then turned and narrowed her eyes with anger, staring at the others with contempt as Lola cried all over Token's bleeding corpse.

"You... you bastards! Which one of you assh*les did this to him?"

"Hold me, Ken!" cried Tammy as Kenny wrapped his arms around his wife. Jake and Rachel barely moved, still unaffected, however Tammy was in deep fear as her husband kept her close by. Kenny kept his arms tight around her - he hated seeing her in such fear.

"Jesus Christ." Clyde's hand covered his mouth in shock at his former friend's death - he was definitely shocked at this mysterious change in pacing. Token had once been a great friend, and then an enemy, and now he was nothing but a memroy.

"P-poor old Token was just so afraid of jail he k-killed himself, aw jeez..." Butters pounded his fists together nervously, unable to make eye contact with anyone else. The hardened criminal again simply a nervous child.

"He didn't kill himself you stupid donut pincher." Lizzy said, taking an assertive tone as she straightened herself, speaking with full confidence, "Token was murdered. My cousin's not the only smart one in this family - check the knife for fingerprints. And see who's napkin was taken."

"Well, well, blondie, looks like I taught you something after all." Terrance, arms crossed, smirked at his wife - sometimes he questioned the marriage, but moments like these reminded him why she had been the one blessed to spend her life with him and share his fortunes.

"Terry, just because I'm a hot blonde does not mean I'm stupid." Lizzy rolled her eyes at her husband. Indeed, she was no dumb blonde despite her rather attractive figure - which many felt was the exact reason she worked so hard to hide it.

Wendy, closer to the head of the table, picked up the napkin and then took the knife through it, "Looks clean to me. No prints." she reported quickly and calculatively. Wendy had learned quite a bit about law enforcement in pursuit of her own career. It was quite curious she should end up in such a mansion - she had been a murderer herself, as painful as those memories were.

"Nngh! Clyde's napkin is missing you guys!" Tweek cried, twitching quickly, holding a mug of coffee in his hand. Tweek wasn't the right person to be asking this sort of thing in all frankness but nonetheless he was correct.

"They probably used the napkin to cover the fingerprints." Wendy said. "Tweek, how about you go escort the kids upstairs?" she added quickly, the women all gravitating to one area, whispering their suspicions. It was just like High School.

"Gah, all right!" Tweek said. Alan, Alphonse, Gabe, Patrick, Rachel, Amanda, Jake and Shane all joined him reluctantly, the kids ranging from a toddler-aged Patrick to eleven-year-old Rachel, the oldest of the bunch, and definitely feeling it. Alan and Gabe barely spoke, whilst the others made their opinions known:

"I miss mom and dad..." Henry said quietly, wondering how his parents got stuck in the bathroom and whether his dad had cleaned his pants.

"Quit your whining, we'll be fine." Alphonse said cynically, rolling his eyes. He, for one, was fed up with being in his opinion, the smartest one present.

"Can you guys be quiet? I'd like to finish the Great Gatsby before we go home." Rachel said, reading her book as she walked. Being the oldest one was hard enough, but being the intelligent one without an ego was an even harder challenge. God knew she'd probably end up killing Alphonse.

"Just ignore them, Rache." Amanda advised quietly, not one to stir things up, putting a hand on her best friend's shoulder. Alan nodded without a word, following his friends.

"World domination..." mumbled Patrick, the toddler following as he absorbed every mental, photographic detail of the mansion before him.

"Oh, just what we need, another baby plotting world domination. Can't we be more f*cking original than this?" Jake complained, his trademark blue parka muffling his vulgarity and his voice in all-too-familiar way.

"Not really, dude." Shane added, following Jake and trailing the group at it's end.

"Don't worry kids, it'll be all right." mumbled Tweek, "Let's just go to my room and I'll let you all drink some coffee or something, ngh!" Tweek wasn't sure how to take care of kids but godammit he was going to try. They quickly disappeared from view.

"Don't worry, it'll be okay." Bill tried to comfort Heidi and Lola - to the surprise of those around him, he'd put his grievances aside quickly. He also hadn't used the word 'gay' in quite a few minutes. Some were worried this wasn't the Bill they knew. And some honestly didn't care, because the Bill they knew was kind of a dick.
South Park is a platform for Matt and Trey's social commentary and satire; there is no canon and these characters only serve as tools for self-expression. Don't get attached.
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Re: "And Then There Were Less"; Murder Mystery Fic

Postby JVM » Mon Sep 26, 2011 7:06 am

A few lines got cut off at the end of the chapter because the board kept insisting on Gateway Timeout over them.

Part D

"I say we split up." Stan suggested confidently, quite sure of his methods. He used to watch old detective and crime shows as a kid all the time. Not to mention he still had his Junior Detective badge if all else failed.

"Really?" Craig said simply. No thought, no emotion.

"I think it's a good idea." Millie noted next to her boyfriend, the news anchor rather sure of Stan's thoughts. Millie reported this stuff all the time - she liked to think she knew what she was talking about. Even if her boyfriend was a criminal...

"We could probably cover a lot more ground." Annie added, agreeing with them. It was true - they could search the mansion and find possible murder weapons and so forth far more easily that way, at least that's what she thought.

"Don't you ever watch Horror movies? They always split up and get separated, and then they get lost, and then some of them end up making out and then they all end up dying." Craig said

"Stop being a dick, Craig." Kyle said with annoyance. Craig always hampered their ideas and investigations. Every thought in his mind was negative, and Kyle hated negativity. It never helped the situation, it just hurt it.

"I'll be with Butters, Wendy with Bebe, Heidi with Red, Rebecca with Tammy, Timmy with Jimmy, Millie with Nancy, Stan with Kyle, Kevin with Dogpoo, Annie with Lizzy, Lola with Powder, and Terrance with Bill. All same-sex so nobody... does sh*t right now. It's not a good time for that. Every group grab a walkie-talkie." Kenny ordered quickly, "Someone check on Cartman and the kids both locked up and... oh, keep an eye out for Bradley and Es, they're still in the bathroom."
South Park is a platform for Matt and Trey's social commentary and satire; there is no canon and these characters only serve as tools for self-expression. Don't get attached.

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